Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the world of Harry Potter or Twilight. They both belong to JK Rowling and Stephanie Meyer, respectably. Lyrics are owned by Kate Voegele.
Chapter 7 - Hallelujah
Well, your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
By now, it was noon. Carlisle was called in to go to the hospital. Esme was nice enough to inform me that he's been a doctor for a long while. After Carlisle bid his goodbye's to us, my siblings swept me upstairs leaving Esme to tend to her garden outside. Alice had linked her arm through mine as she gave me a very quick tour of the house. She showed me Bella and Edward's room, Emmett and Rosalie's room, Carlisle's study/library – I made mental note to return to that room and see what books I could dive into. We passed by two more rooms and Alice told me one was hers and the other was Jasper's. Both doors were closed and I instantly became curious to what they looked like.
"Okay, Hermione," Alice began before we stopped in front of a closed door, "I can see that if we don't explain ourselves beforehand, you will go completely ballistic."
I narrowed my eyes at her in confusion before she continued on, "We have money. We have a lot of money. Carlisle has been a doctor for 400 years and I've had many visions of winning lottery numbers and rises in the stock market. We have more than enough money than we can spend, so I don't want to hear any complaints and I don't want Jasper to feel one ounce of guilt coming from you when you see your new room. Understand?"
I nodded. Although she was tiny, she definitely was lethal.
They finally opened the door to my room and for about a second I felt guilt, but then my solemn face broke out into a huge grin. I was absolutely ecstatic. The walls were a soft cream color and although I knew wouldn't be sleeping anymore; I had a bed with sheets that were a gorgeous deep burgundy. The room also came equipped with a beautiful soft golden, leather chaise lounge pushed against the wall, opposite my bed. Emmett also informed me that the flat screen TV, DVD player, and stereo system were his idea. I thanked my siblings profusely for everything they have done for me so far – my room, especially.
Alice danced to a door that I didn't realize was there and revealed a severely large walk-in closet, complete with every type of clothing thought possible. On the left side was my every day wear – jackets and sweaters; tee shirts and long sleeves; jeans, capris, and shorts. On the right side were the most gorgeous dresses and gowns I've ever seen. I didn't know when I would ever wear one of those dresses, let alone the whole bunch I had. On the wall, opposite the door, were racks and racks of shoes. I'm talking wall to wall and ceiling to floor. Every type of shoe you can think of, I had – flats, sandals, espadrilles, pumps – it was all there.
Again, a mountain of thanks was sent towards my new family. I even spoke loud enough to thank Esme outside. I heard a distinct 'You're Welcome' in what I knew was Esme's voice. I couldn't keep the smile off of my face as Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper left me to my new room. As I've seen in the movies, I immediately jumped on my bed, landing gracefully on my back. I loved it here. I loved my new family. And I loved my new 'magical' ability. Well, that's what I liked to call it. When Carlisle said no known vampire has the ability to control their own bloodlust, as well as the bloodlust of others, I knew it was the magic that was in me.
A few minutes later, I entered my closet and retrieved a new pair of medium washed, skinny jeans and purple V-neck shirt. After I selected my clothes, I headed towards my dresser that held my 'intimates' as Rosalie explained. I looked into each of the three drawers. The top drawer consisted of a wide array of underwear – boy shorts, briefs, hiphuggers and dare I say it? Thongs. I knew I'd stay away from those. I never wore anything tight enough for me to wear those.
I looked through the middle drawer and found matching bras for the underwear above. I found the matching bra for the black pair of hiphuggers I had. Out of curiosity, I looked in the bottom drawer and found about a million different swimsuits. Two piece's, one piece's, mix and match sets… all of them just as gorgeous as the next. Smiling to myself, I closed the drawer and exited my room to enter the bathroom across the hall.
I turned on the water to the shower, not even caring if it was extremely hot or cold. It didn't matter. I stripped out of the clothes I was wearing and placed them in a neat pile on the floor. I turned around, facing the door and saw my reflection in the full length mirror hanging off of the door. For the first time, since I entered my room, the smile left my face and was replaced with a frown. I stepped closer to the mirror and scrutinized my body.
Of course, my skin was pale white, but that didn't upset me. My hair – I knew my hair was different, but this was different. The frizz was gone and so was the mousy brown. Somehow my hair transformed into a head of caramel colored, silk strands ending a few inches below my collar bone. My eyes were also no longer brown, but a bright red. I was disturbed with my reflection. For the first time, I was beautiful. Even I had to admit it to myself. I was no longer the 'know-it-all, mudblood Granger'. I stepped back slightly and brought my eyes to stare at the crescent shaped scar on my waist. My fingers traced it as I looked at it thoughtfully.
I quickly removed my gaze from the mirror and entered the shower. I let the hot water, or what I assumed to be hot water (considering the amount of the steam in the room), hit my naked body as I slid down to sit on the floor. The water continued to spray me and now my hair was beginning to get wet. I brought my knees towards my chest as I gathered water in the palms of my hands, before splashing in it my face. I did this a couple of times before I realized what I was doing – or what I was trying to do. I was trying to wash away the reflection I saw in the mirror.
This wasn't me. This body, this hair, this skin… it wasn't Hermione. I've become- I've become a vampire. Everything that I was now, proved that I was no longer Hermione Granger, witch. I was a vampire. I fed off of blood. Granted, I would never again be tempted at the scent of human blood, but it was still blood that I drank, all the same. I was a monster. Human to witch, witch to monster.
I stayed in the shower much too long for any normal vampire, but I didn't care. I sat there for fifteen minutes just contemplating the eternity I had ahead of me. I would be eighteen for an eternity. How could I have let this happen? Why didn't I even attempt to fight off those vampires? Was I so upset that I was willing to end my life? I was truly pathetic. Thirty minutes later, my shower ended and I was dressed in my new clothes. I found myself lying in the center of my bed just going over the bits and pieces of the moment I encountered those vampires. Why didn't I run? Why didn't I apparate?
Every single day, every single minute, I could ask myself that same question and I would only be able to come up with one answer. I hated my life as a witch so much, I was willing to die to get away from it. There was no other reason. I didn't even think of the repercussions of my actions. How would Neville react to vampire Hermione? How would Mrs. Weasley feel when she realizes that the girl she thought of as a second daughter was undead? What if Harry woke up and he saw me eternally eighteen?
Eventually, I sat up much too quickly. I scanned the room for one thing in particular. My gaze finally landed on the side table, beside my bed. I leaned over to retrieve this specific item. I held my wand in my hand, loosely. I didn't want to break with my vampire strength. It felt vaguely familiar, although I didn't feel that familiar spark I used to feel when holding it. I paused for a few minutes, fearing the worst. After what seemed like a century, I closed my eyes, took at deep breath and muttered, "Aguamenti."
I was expecting water to shoot out from my wand, but nothing happened. I tried to 'accio' a shirt from the closet, but the shirt remained undisturbed. Finally, I weakly mumbled 'colloportus', trying to lock my door and nothing happened.
I sighed a deep and upsetting sigh. I placed my wand where I found it and laid back down on my bed. I stretched my legs out in front of me and rested my head on the soft pillows. I couldn't do magic. I was a witch for seven years of my life and the moment that the vampire venom spread throughout my body, removing all traces of human blood in me, my magic was taken away. I should be upset. I should crying tearless sobs, but I was perfectly content with just being disappointed.
I didn't want to be a witch, after all, so why should I be upset? I left my world to live as a normal, eighteen year old girl. Magic was just a huge part of my life… I was just sad to see it go.
I stayed in my room the rest of the day until the next morning before I was finally brought out of my thoughts. A soft knock on my door alerted me to my visitor. I immediately sat up from the lying position I stayed in all day, night, and morning.
"Hello," Jasper greeted, holding on to my door knob, but not entering my room, "do you mind if I come in?"
I shook my head indicating he could come in. I adjusted myself on my bed so that my legs were dangling over the side as he stepped into my room and closed the door behind him. He took a seat on my chaise before saying, "Your emotions are everywhere, Hermione. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
I looked down at my lap guiltily. "I'm sorry. I'm just having trouble adjusting." I admitted
"You were so happy yesterday. You never stopped smiling. What happened?"
I let a beat of silence pass before I answered him. "I can't do magic." I admitted, "And… I saw my reflection- my scar."
He nodded in understanding, but ultimately remained silent, hoping I would continue.
"And I suppose I finally realized I wasn't a witch anymore. My wand is useless." I continued, nodding towards my wand on my nightstand, "I know this was what I wanted, but I guess I never really thought it through. I was foolish."
"I don't think you were foolish, Hermione." Jasper responded immediately, "Although I don't know what happened in your life to cause you to run away from the magical world, I'd say you were depressed and hurt. We all react to those emotions differently… I should know."
I didn't say anything for a while. "Where is everyone?" I finally asked
"Carlisle's at work, Alice and Esme went to Port Angeles, and Emmett took Rosalie into town to buy something for her car."
"When I said I had no sense of home back in London, it was true."
"Hermione, you don't have to-" Jasper began before I cut him off
"Ron, my best friend, died, along with his little sister and twin brothers – Ginny, Fred, and George. Their mother, my second mother, went sick with grief and refuses to leave the confines of her bedroom. Her husband, Arthur, is lying in a bed at St. Mungo's because he was tortured for so long, he can't recognize anyone. My other best friend, Harry, is lying in a coma, with no one knowing if he will ever wake up." I told him quickly, "And my parents were killed." I nearly whispered
In one fluid movement, Jasper sat by my side and scooped my hands in his. "Do you mind if I calm you. Your grief is overwhelming."
I shook my head and almost immediately my body relaxed under his power. I was grateful. "You've had a rough life, Hermione."
"That's not even the half of it."
He looked at me curiously and before I knew it, I found myself explaining my story.
"I left a few weeks after a war on our school grounds. There was a dark wizard, Voldemort. He believed magical teachings should be kept within pureblood families – that is, they have a long history of magic in their blood. There are also half-bloods. They are witches or wizards with at least one pureblooded parent. And then there are people like me, a muggleborn, meaning I have no trace of magical history in my family. As I was saying, Voldemort believed magic should be kept within pureblood families, no matter what it takes."
I took a glance at Jasper's confused face and decided to take a different approach. "Well I suppose this story begins when Harry was just a baby. You see, there was a prophecy made and it revealed that there would only be one person to defeat Voldemort. All the signs pointed to Harry; so when he was merely one year old, Voldemort ran-sacked his home and immediately killed his father, James. Lily, his mother, ran to protect her child even when Voldemort gave her a chance to live. She still stood in front of her Harry, shielding him. The moment she was killed, an ancient magic was ignited and pure and absolute love ran through Harry's veins. The act of protecting her son from the sadistic wizard saved Harry from the same fate as his parents. The killing curse Voldemort used on Harry backfired and changed Voldemort from human to some sort of being. He was an entity and for 13 years no one knew where he was. It was assumed that he died, but others believed he was just biding his time – which he was.
Harry, Ron and I were best friends. Me and Ron, we would always help Harry with anything concerning Voldemort. The three of us, we've saved each others lives more times than we can count. I loved them. From our first year to our third year, we saved Harry from Voldemort's near attempts at killing him. Finally, in our fourth year, he was resurrected and became man again. He very nearly killed Harry then, but thankfully, he didn't. In our fifth year, the Ministry of Magic refused to believe that Voldemort returned. It wasn't until there was a battle on Ministry grounds that they accepted Harry's truth.
In our sixth year, Harry learned much about Voldemort's past. Our Headmaster, Dumbledore, thought it necessary to know about how Tom Riddle came to be Voldemort. Dumbedore was the greatest wizard of our time. Everyone knew we were safe if Dumbledore was around. He would never let anything or anyone harm his students. He achieved a level of magic not many could reach; but, he was killed at the end of the year. He constructed a well thought out plan with our Potions professor, Severus Snape. He was a Death Eater, turned spy for the Order of the Phoenix."
"Forgive me for interrupting, but what are death eaters and this order of the phoenix?" Jasper asked
"Death Eaters are followers of Voldemort and the Order of the Phoenix was a secret society created to defeat Voldemort."
He smiled a small smile, meaning he understood. I continued with my story.
"In the following summer, Harry, Ron and I discovered that Voldemort split his soul and placed them into seven different artifacts. They are called Horcruxes. In order for him to be ultimately defeated, we had to destroy those items. The three of us decided to forgo our seventh year and search for these Horcruxes. It was very difficult at first, but soon we were able to find the locket, Hufflepuff's cup, and the diadem. We destroyed all three of them. Two of them were destroyed previously – a ring and a journal. We also realized that Nagini, Voldemort's pet snake was also a Horcrux."
I could see Jasper mentally counting in his head. "That's only six." He pointed out
"Harry was the seventh. He knew his fate and he knew he had to die to protect the world. Once the battle at our school began, Harry went out to the woods to surrender his life. And he did. He surrendered his life for our well being. He loved us all so much that he was willing to die than to see us suffer. Just like his mother did for him."
"But he didn't die. He's in a coma, you said."
I shook my head, "No, he didn't die. Voldemort actually killed a part of himself that linked himself to Harry. Voldemort, with Harry's aid, killed the seventh Horcrux. Voldemort assumed he killed him and he brought him back to the school, thinking he was dead and thinking we would all surrender just has he did. But my friend, my brave friend, Neville sliced Nagini's head off. All the Horcruxes were destroyed at this point. Harry remained hidden under his invisibility cloak while the war continued to wage on. And finally, near midnight, Harry made himself known and finally destroyed the evil wizard. We won the war, but we definitely paid a price."
Silence filled my room. Jasper still held my hands in his and had no intention of letting go. His calm was still washing over me. I continued to wait for some sort of response from him, but received nothing. I decided to add a bit more to my tale.
"I shed blood, I've killed. I wasn't proud of it, but it was the only way to survive." I told him, "Ron, he was- he could have been the love of my life. I shared my first kiss with him the night of the war. Our pent up feelings for each other finally made themselves evident in the midst of everything. I, by no means, loved him; but I could have. I knew I could have. Ten minutes after our first kiss, he took his last breath."
Jasper's eyes widened at my revelation. "Hermione, that must have- I don't even-" He began, but found no words to say, "I'm sorry." He finally whispered to me
"Your parents?" He asked, expecting more to my story
I bit my lip. "Before I left to hunt for the Horcruxes, I altered my parents' memories and sent them to Australia to keep them safe. Three weeks after the war, I went to restore their memories only to find that they were gone. I'm assuming the death eaters found them and killed them. I visited their grave and they were buried as Monica and Wendell Wilkins. Their real names were Jean and Graham Granger. They died not even knowing they had a daughter, somewhere, protecting them." I shook my head, not believing my own words, "But I didn't protect them. I- I killed them."
"You didn't kill them, Hermione." Jasper told me roughly, pulling me to face him, "The sick and pathetic excuse for wizards did. You did everything in your power to protect them."
"I never told anyone. Neville thinks I left them in Australia to be blissfully happy. I couldn't tell him because saying it out loud... I didn't want to accept it."
Jasper sighed, "Hermione, your life has been difficult, to say the least. Your friends and your family were unfortunately taken away from you. You were upset and depressed. What eighteen year old girl wouldn't be? You left- escaped your world to find a better one. There's no harm in that." He soothed, "You friends died a brave death. They died protecting something they believed in. They died for the protection and betterment of all magical people. They may be gone, Hermione, but you know they will always be with you, watching over you."
I could have cried, then. Why I didn't see it like that from the beginning, I didn't know. But I was very grateful that Jasper was able to point that out to me. My friends were brave 'til the very end. Until their last breath, they protected everything and everyone in the magical world. And because of Jasper, I finally knew it. I launched my arms around Jasper's neck and held onto him tightly. He responded by snaking his arms around my waist. I felt calm, at peace. Was it Jasper's doing, I didn't know; but being here with him, hugging him made me felt better. "Thank you, Jasper."
He didn't say anything. He smiled. I didn't see it, but I felt it.
We pulled away from our embrace and I crawled to the head of the bed, sitting Indian style. Jasper moved to sit next to me, his left leg curl underneath him and his elbow resting on his right knee.
"Do you mind if I share my story with you?" He asked, "You've revealed so much, that it seems only fair. Besides, I see some similarities with our pasts."
I shook my head at him, "Jasper, you don't have to-"
"I want to." He interrupted me before taking a deep, unneeded breath, "I was seventeen when I decided to join the Confederate Army in Texas. I was underage, but I was able to get away with being much older. I joined in 1861 and ascended in the ranks very quickly, eventually becoming Major Jasper Whitlock. Two years later, Maria found me." He paused and I knew the rest of his story was hard for him to tell.
"Jasper, really. It's okay."
Completely ignoring me, he continued, "She turned me and I fell foolishly in love with her. I did whatever she asked me to without question. At that time, the Civil War wasn't the only battle waging on. In the vampire world, Maria and I were active participants in the Southern Vampire wars. It was all about territory for us. Maria was trying to claim the city of Monterrey, and I helped. I created newborns for her and disposed of them when their strength began to dwindle.
I spent an entire century with Maria, doing the same thing – creating an undead life and ending an undead life. In return for being her right hand man, her favorite, I was allowed to feed on whoever I wanted – the best smelling and the best looking."
His story was amazing. I knew he was telling me the gist of his life, but all the major details were there. I was enraptured in his story- his life.
"But soon after, I grew tired of my life. I woke up one day, so to speak, and I realized what kind of monster I've become. I killed humans and newborns for an unfulfilling life with Maria. I was unhappy. I decided to run off to join my friend and his mate – Peter and Charlotte. I sought them out for comfort and safety. And they showed that to me. I lived with them for a few more years before I decided to leave them all together. I couldn't stand feeding on humans. From the moment I would attack them, I could feel their immense fear and desperation. Killing them killed me and I just couldn't do it anymore.
"I wandered around aimlessly for a while, only feeding when absolutely necessary. I eventually found myself at a little diner in Philadelphia. Alice was there." He told me with a reminiscent smile, "She told me that I kept her waiting and I sincerely apologized for my actions. Together, we left the diner and she explained to me of a family that survives off of animal blood. They were called the Olympic Coven – we know them better as our family."
I smiled at him. They were my family. "Alice became a best friend of sorts. She saved me from a life I so desperately wanted to escape and I will be eternally grateful to her for finding me. My life with the Cullen's was anything but easy. I had the most difficult time adjusting to the vegetarian lifestyle, considering my past, but for Alice and the rest of my family, I struggled for them. I felt that they believed in me, that they had faith in me; but always felt that tiny glimmer of apprehension in all of them as we started going to school. They never voiced their doubts, but you can't hide your emotions from me."
I remained silent, taking in his words and understanding his story. His life was difficult, just as much as mine was – although, in a slightly different sense. Where he was a cold and ruthless killer, I was killer to save my own neck. We both escaped a life we were disgusted at living. We didn't want to be murderers that we thought ourselves as. We wanted to become the people that we once were, the original Jasper Whitlock and Hermione Granger. Our lives were complicated and a mess.
"You're not disgusted." Jasper noted, probably feeling my understanding
I shook my head, "No. Why would I be?"
"I was a monster, Hermione. I killed thousands of humans and newborns for a century. I was ruthless."
"I heard that part of the story, Jasper." I told him, "But I don't think you're remembering the part that's worth remembering – the part where you left, willingly. The part where you said you couldn't stand feeding on human blood because it killed you. I don't see a monster when I look at you, Jasper. I see a vampire trying to make amends for his past. That's a truly beautiful thing."
He didn't say anything in response. It looked as if he was trying to understand my words and accept them. When I finally thought my words had gotten through to him, he shook his head in disappointment. He began unbuttoning his shirt before opening it to reveal his bare chest.
"I look at these every day and I'm reminded of what I was back then. I was a monster, Hermione." He repeated
My hands gently traced the various crescent shaped scars, identical to the one on my waist. He truly did come from a time of war. His scars proved it. Where my scars of my past were emotional, his were physical.
"You're amazing," I breathed
"Amazing?!" He admonished, pulling away from my touch and quickly buttoning his shirt, "These scars are hideous. I don't know when you're going to realize that I am a monster with disgusting scars covering my body. How can you think of me as amazing?"
"Because you live with this reminder every day and you face it head on." I answered, not missing a beat, "You don't wallow in your own self pity; you go to school with humans, you live amongst humans. You adjusted your diet so you will never feel the pain of harming another human being again. It's more difficult for you, yes, but you do it anyway. You do that for your family and you do it for yourself. Your scars are anything, but hideous. You're amazing for testing yourself the way that you do."
He didn't reply. If anything, he looked a bit put out with himself. Jasper knew I was right.
"So," I began, breaking the silence between us, "we both came from a time of war."
"And we both killed," He added
"And suffered,"
"And we're both seeking redemption."
I chanced a look at him, my eyes shining at his words. I was seeking redemption and I would continue seeking redemption every single day of my eternity. With my control ability, I would be saving as many humans as I possibly could. I would help Jasper with his struggle and I will continue to do so until he is able to control it himself. Jasper and I would help it each other. Our conversation was our own little unspoken agreement that we would help each other in our path to redemption for our past. Now, more than ever was I grateful for Jasper Hale – I meant, Jasper Whitlock.
After awhile, Jasper bounded off my bed and headed towards the door. He placed his hand on the knob before I told him to stop. He adjusted around to face me, but his hand remained in place on my door knob.
"Please stay. I like your company. I'm not sure if it's you projecting certain emotions, but I feel safe with you." I told him
He smiled at me and walked, at a human pace, back to my bed. I was now lying down, scooting over a few inches so Jasper could lie next to me. We were laying together side by side on my bed and I felt more at home than I ever have. We lay there, silently, the entire day when our family began to arrive home. By the time everyone was home, it already claimed to be 9:00PM. I wasn't sure if Jasper was projecting some kind of emotion to cause them to not disturb us, but not one person did. I was appreciative for whatever he was doing.
We continued to lie there silently. The only conversation being had was one with our emotions. I would occasionally send gratitude his way and in turn, he would send me a burst of happiness. By midnight, we were still next to each other, and I finally decided to break our silence.
"Bella and Edward are arriving soon."
"Yes," He answered, "later today, considering its past midnight. I believe Alice said they would arrive around by noon."
For the first time since we shared our stories, I looked at him. He returned my gaze and smiled. I smiled back and spoke, "When they're here, I'm going to tell them- the whole family, I mean."
Jasper knew what I was talking about and he nodded in response. "If you're sure, I'll be right next to you the entire time."
I gave him one last smile before returning my eyes to the ceiling. "Thank you, Jasper."
"Anything to help my family."
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
-
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AN: Okay, this chapter is a lot of information to take in. But it needed to be said. Hermione needed to come clean with her past and since none of the Cullens knew anything about it, I had to go over everything. I kind of glazed over a few things, to make it a bit shorter and not so winded, but I had to do it. I chose for her to tell Jasper her story first, not only because this is a Jaspione fic, but also because their pasts are somewhat similar. I figured they could relate to one another. This may seem like a some useless information, but there maybe Twilight fans who know nothing of HP and vice versa... so I also did this for them. Besides, I did put in a few slight Jaspione moments in there. The romance is building as we speak. It's still miniscule, but its there.
BTW, this might be the only time you'll have to endure stories of their past. I'm not entirely too sure, but I think this is the last of explanations. Of course the Cullen's pasts will be told to Hermione, but I won't go into as much detail as I did with this chapter.
Anyway, I really hope you like it. This was a very difficult chapter for me to write. I needed to get the facts straight, while altering some to fit my story. I really would love to hear some feedback on what you thought of it. I'll give you a preview in exchange! Speaking of previews, there are some people that review who disabled the PM feature. I feel bad for not being able to send you the preview, so if you'd like to read it, you should re-enable the PM feature so you can take a peak. I've gotten some great feedback on the previews and I'd like to be fair to all my reviewers. (:
PS. I know one of my reviews asked about Percy a while back and I'd just like to address that. I never liked Percy, not even when he was a good little Weasley. So in my fic, he just doesn't exist. He's not really relevant to the HP books anyway.
Kate Voegele - Hallelujah (I chose her verion because I love the new verses she added)
***PSS. The links to the songs are now on my profile. If you'd like to listen, go ahead and visit! Also, I'm going to start posting some pics I used for inspiration! The only pic up so far is Hermione as a vampire.
