Email 6: Too Long
Alright Mr. Spicer, let's see if you can answer me this: As the series of Xiaolin Showdown continue to grow, you've reverted from a worthy adversary to a...how should I put this...a boy with a pea-sized brain. In one season when Omi and co. attacked you and brought your "souvenirs" back to Master Fung, you had the word "left" written on your shoe, "front" and "back" on your underwear, and "insert this way" with an arrow on your belt. You've become an incompetent villain and plunged into the category of comic relief. Yet...you are still capable of building your own functional, dependent, wireless robots, transportation vehicles, and other gizmos and gadgets; point is you are obviously incredibly smart. So my question is how does this all fit? Did Wuya demolish your self esteem when she accompanied you in her spirit form? Did other villains in the series do the same? How did you become such a doormat and why? When the Xiaolin Warriors took you in their dojo you were there in all honesty and goodness as revealed later in the episode with the truth showdown Omi challenged you to. Yet even so you still returned to the evil side that treated you like dirt and continues to do so. Open your eyes, Jack...the people who want to help you are the ones you're bent on destroying. The ones you want to impress are the ones who annihilate you. Please enlighten me.
Naraku's Phoenix
Jack: … Okay. That's, like… 242 words in there. Although you prove a point, and you have a cool signature, you Email is just too LONG! Let me say a little something to all you people planning to Email me. Please don't make it so long.
Bot: I agree with you, sir. Readers, please refrain from making your Emails too long.
Jack: Yeah. Preferably under 100 words. In fact…
Mr. Spicer, answer this: As a pea-sized brain Omi and co. attacked you and your belt. You've become a villain and plunged into the category of capable of building your own functional, dependent, wireless robots, transportation vehicles, and other gizmos and gadgets; point is you are obviously incredibly smart. Did your self esteem accompany you? Did other villains in the series do the same? How did you become such a warrior? Omi treated like dirt and continues to do so. Open your eyes, Jack...the people who want to help you are the ones you want to impress. Please enlighten me.
Naraku's Phoenix
Jack: Now THERE'S an Email worth answering! Omi treated like dirt… heehee!
So, how did I become such a warrior? People ask me this all the time. You see, it all started in the second grade…
(Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko and Clay break in through the door. Kimiko is dressed like a biker-babe.)
Jack: GAH! What are you doing here? I didn't even do anything evil yet!
Omi: But according to your Email, we are supposed to attack you and your belt!
Jack: That wasn't in the original Email!
Clay: You'll have to show us.
(Jack retypes everything he deleted and the others read it.)
Raimundo: We're a TV series?
Jack: Yeah, I know. I had trouble figuring that out too.
Omi: I sometimes feel like I am being watched, but never by my adoring fans.
Raimundo: Uh, I don't think they're interested in watching you, Omi.
Omi: What, you think everybody is tuning on to watch you and Ninja Fred? That is a good one.
Raimundo: embarrassed Cut it out!
Omi: But I have no scissors!
Everyone else: …
Kimiko: Anyway, time to get what we came for.
(She kicks Jack in the stomach, thereby attacking him and his belt. Then she and the other Xiaolin Dragons leave.)
Jack: a bit weakly Cut…
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