Marian's mind is overloading. All these new sensations Robin made her feel. It felt so good and so intense. But it was so wrong! And what she hated was that she was so out of control. All she could do was surrender to Robin and oh how smug he must feel about that.
She did see now how a young girl might go in the wrong. If a boy got close enough, the girl would be helpless, wouldn't she? Just like she was with Robin.
Was that what it was? Could every guy do that? Make her feel that? Could Gisborne?
Oh she's so confused. She had always been a good and proper girl. Aside from a few stolen kisses, which she had shared with Robin when they were teenagers, she had always behaved well.
What had changed? If anyone knew what she and Robin had done last night... If her father knew! She hardly dares to think of it. Whatever it was they did exactly, it must be something that should rightly be restricted to married couples. Not a noblewoman and some dirty outlaw from the forest. Though she could never truly think of Robin in that way. Still, they were not married, so they shouldn't have done it.
But now that she had felt it, she would go crazy if she could never feel that again. And she couldn't guarantee she would be able to refuse Robin if he tried again. And he would probably try again. Ever since she got engaged he had started to push her for these things. Like he needed to prove some connection or control he had over her. And she is somewhat ashamed to admit that he apparently has. That her strong feelings for him are returning. And that, even though he can be infuriating, she cannot think of a life without him in it in some way.
Her marriage to Gisborne will complicate all this tenfold at least. But what is she to do? She has to protect her father and their lands. The Fitzwalter name will die out as she will take her husband's name and she has no brothers, but the lands should still be kept in the family.
She has to get ready. She is to have dinner at Locksley Manor with Gisborne and he hates to be kept waiting.
