thank you for all of the positive feedback!


Another golden sunrise broke through Scully's curtains and reminded Mulder that he was not in his partner's bed.

It had been a few days since they'd once again slept together, and each moment after they rushed into and out of the sack with each other had been painful and awkward, at least it was for Mulder. Just like last time. He couldn't read Scully on this issue. On one hand she seemed fidgety and uncomfortable around him. On the other, he could detect the hints of sadness in her eye when they did manage to get close to each other, like she was missing what they had. He knew he was.

Or she could just be pitying you, Mulder told himself. God, he needed to get out of there. He'd been in close contact with Cynthia from Social Services, as well as hired a lawyer in order to help him get started with the adoption process. The fact that he'd already been granted custody and was Zach and Megan's only living relative in the area helped him tremendously, and it kept foster care off the table. But he'd been notified that if he was serious about going forward in the adoption process that he would have to be able to pass a home check. So Mulder figured he may as well find himself and the kids a home.

As if the universe were finally sympathetic to his plight, Mulder heard the soft thump of the daily newspaper hitting Scully's front door.

XXX

An hour later, Scully's alarm woke her up. But judging by the sounds coming from her living room, she wasn't the first one. Hopefully it wasn't Megan. Lately she'd been having a hard time sleeping, complaining that she didn't want Scully or Mulder to leave her alone by herself, even though she still slept in a bed with her brother. And more than once she'd discovered the youngster had snuck out of bed to pop in an Arthur tape they'd purchased on a terrified whim the night they'd taken her from her mother's. Today was a work day, and Scully didn't want to subject her mother, who gladly watched the children while Mulder and Scully went to work, to have to deal with a grumpy and sleep-deprived five-year-old.

But upon further investigation, Scully found that the only person awake was Mulder, and he was sitting hunched over her coffee table with the newspaper, TV on in the background.

"Morning," she greeted him. He didn't look up to say the same, which hurt. Scully knew that the dance they had been doing around each other since their frantic mistakes was uncomfortable at best. While they were used to not talking about things bothering them, this was different. Sex was different. She'd imagined herself having sex with Mulder countless times in the past seven years, and the two of them not wanting to be around each other afterward had never once been part of the equation. She loved Mulder with all her heart, and she didn't know exactly why the rift between them had occurred, but Scully was finding out that with Mulder, nothing ever went as planned. Not even personal matters.

"Hey. I made coffee," he kept pouring over something in the newspaper. Hopefully not another investigation, she prayed. Handling two kids and a full-time job in the FBI was taking more out of her than she thought it would. It was taking almost as much as she had to give.

"What are you looking at?" she asked, sitting down next to him on the couch after pouring herself a cup.

"Uhh, apartments," Mulder seemed hesitant to answer. It was as if he knew his words would shock Scully's system and make her stomach jump into her throat.

"O-oh."

"I mean, I've been talking a lot with Cynthia and I know that the sooner I find a suitable place for the three of us to live, the better standing I'll have with the courts."

The three of us, the phrase rang in her ears, mocking her. There's four of us! she wanted to scream.

"I guess," was all she could get out.

"Plus, you know, it's time to let go of my old place. Lot of bad memories there."

He spoke like he hadn't been living with her for the past two weeks, just visiting. It pissed her off.

"You know Mu—"

"Good morning!" an enthusiastic little girl made her presence known from the hallway. As disappointed as Scully was that she was not going to be able to finish her conversation with Mulder, it overjoyed her to see Megan so happy and exuberant fist thing in the morning.

And she knew that she couldn't go another morning without the possibility of seeing that. She had to talk to Mulder. Convince him not to go.

"Hi Meggie," Mulder accepted the bouncing kid's hug. Then she stood on the couch and reached her arms out for Scully.

"Good morning little lady. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. I had a dream we went swimming."

"Really?"

"Can we go swimming? You and me and Zach and Mulder?"

See Mulder, there are four of us. And she had to keep everybody together.

XXX

It was after lunch before Scully got the opportunity to bring up Mulder's decision to move out, but it had been on her mind all day. She waited until he was engrossed in the ads of another newspaper to address the issue, sitting down on the side of his desk.

"Are you finding anything?" she asked, wanting to come off as nonchalant and definitely not as terrified as she really was.

"Mostly complexes. I'd rather not live in one of those."

"You know—"

"I was thinking maybe a condo or a townhouse. I know it's more money, but I'd like to give Zach and Megan a back yard. I think it'd be good for them."

"Mulder…" Scully took a deep breath once he finally looked up at her, "why are you all of a sudden looking for another place to live?"

He gave her a quizzical look.

"I told you, Scully, because Cynthia says it is going to help me in my adoption bid. My lawyer agrees."

"But what about my place?"

"Scully, I really appreciate everything you've done for us during this whole transition process. But you don't need to keep giving and giving. I don't want to be a burden on you."

"You're not."

"It's time we gave you your home back," Mulder kept talking like he wasn't even listening to her. It was getting to be too much.

"This is about the sex, isn't it?" she finally came out and said it.

"What?" Mulder was shocked that she was so blatant about what she was thinking.

"You want to get away from me because of the sex. I pushed you into it, but you thought it was a bad idea and now you want to leave."

"Scully—"

"You don't have to pretend that you didn't think that. I know it was a bad idea. I'm sorry we did it. I'm sorry I came on to you and I'm sorry we didn't talk about it. You don't have to tell me it was a mistake, I already know that. So don't feel bad about not being sure about where we stand because I have already come to terms with the fact that it shouldn't have happened and it won't happen again. But Mulder, we can move on from this."

"Scully, that's really not it at all."

"Then what is it? We've been carefully avoiding everything about each other for the past few days, our friendship and professional relationship have suffered, and I'm sick of it. We've made mistakes before, Mulder. Please, we can move on from this. You don't have to run away."

"Oh, who ran away? Who was the one who immediately jumped out of bed after we were finished? We were having sex one minute and the next you were telling me to get out of your room. Or how about the first time, after the IVF, when we woke up the next morning ass naked and you still pretended that nothing ever happened?" Mulder was fed up with Scully's clinical detachment from the subject.

"Megan had woken up," Scully defended herself pathetically.

"The door was locked, Scully," was really all he felt he needed to say.

"Look, I just want to get past this. And I think we can do that without you moving out."

"Scully, I can't sleep on your couch forever!"

Mulder thought he'd won the argument and had gotten his partner to see his point, until he heard something he never expected her to say.

"Then you can sleep in my bed."

The agents looked at each other like even they didn't believe what she had just stated. He tried to catch Scully's glance, but she was intent on studying the carpet.

"You know, I didn't hate it. I actually really liked it. And if it will make it easier for you to stay…"

"Whoa, Scully, please don't tell me you'll sleep with me just to keep me and the kids around. Okay? You don't have to do that."

"What I'm saying is that we're never going to be able to go back from what happened. And as long as we can be responsible and mature, we can make this… arrangement… work without either of us feeling like we're not in control. And if you and I being able to live together and provide a good home for the kids is what's best for them, then we should do whatever we can to make that arrangement work."

She was so ambiguous in her explanation. Yet it was a very logical, almost scientific, way of looking at the situation. It made Mulder want to laugh to know that she was just as level-headed about bedroom problems as she was about work.

"So you think we can't live together unless we're having sex?"

Scully blushed. She'd wanted to remain removed from what she was actually saying.

"I just want you and the kids to stay. And I'm tired of living the way we've been living. And it's not… it's not like I don't care about you," when he gave her a dumbfounded look, Scully continued spouting off whatever she thought he wanted to hear. "It wouldn't be the worst way to let off steam. We are adults."

Mulder was secretly loving the struggle Scully was having with admitting certain needs. And watching her ears turn beet red.

"Scully, if you wanted me in your bed, all you had to do was say so," he joked, taking the liberty to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. She fought back the urge to point out that she basically did just that not five minutes ago, but she was biting her lip too hard. She'd never come on so strongly to anybody, and it was making her feel uncomfortable. Luckily, though his chuckling hadn't abated, Mulder picked up on that.

"You don't have to worry about losing me or the kids. And anything that you need, we'll go at your pace, okay?"

Scully nodded, snaking her eyes upward to meet her partner's. He gave her a tiny grin that spoke volumes and expanded over the entire length of their time together. She gave him one right back, and for a moment, the link they shared was enough to wash away all of the horrors of the world.

And then Scully's cell rang.

"Dana, I need you to come home," Maggie said over the line, with clear worry in her voice. And once more they were thrown back into a world where fleeting moments of happiness were always followed by ones containing the most tragedy.