I don't own any of the divergent characters except for my OC's, the rest belongs to Veronica Roth
Chapter Seven- Broke Sim
Eric
One moment I'm watching, everything going according to the simulation and the next there are sparks flying, not only crashing the simulation, but also the fucking computer. I'm surprised nothing caught alight. She wasn't even calm, if anything her heart rate increased. That means she stopped the simulation, she's divergent! I caught my first divergent! So why aren't I happy about it?
I have heard on rare occasions that some divergents have the ability to shut down the simulation, but never someone destroying the actual equipment! Her divergence would have to be one of the strongest in recorded history! And to make matters worse, her recorded time was only four minutes!
Rose is sitting there with her face in her hands, tears streaming down her face. It wasn't even that bad, it appeared as though she was searching for something, but what? The first fear you experience is supposed to be your greatest fear. I know mine was. I didn't realise I was staring at her with my mouth agape, until I see her staring back at me anxiously with her hypnotic teal eyes. "I-I'll be right back," I stutter as I begin to walk out the door.
I head straight to Jeanine's office, only to find that she is already headed my way. "She has a much stronger divergence then I anticipated!" Jeanine comments with a calculated glint in her eye. I've seen that look before, when she find a new experiment. I instantly feel anxious, though I'm not sure why? I knew this would happen and I've seen her experiment on divergents before, but this time it doesn't sit well with me.
"Are you going to apply the beta for the new serum you developed designed specifically for divergents?" I beg internally that she won't, many divergents who have gone under the serum died or suffered life threating side effects, which lead to their death as they were no longer seen as useful.
"No. This one is special…" Jeanine replies with a proud smirk. "She is much more strong willed than the average divergent, therefore she would be much more useful to us if she be examined and tested with already perfected serums. Then when the beta serum is no longer in its beta stage, we will test her with it." I'm glad we won't be losing another fine specimen, I hate having to dump the bodies, when I could be training to become the next great Dauntless leader. "Oh and Eric or James as she calls you. Find out what her fear simulation was about and what she was looking for. It could be the key to finding out where she is from."
"I'm on it." Sometimes I hate how obedient I am, like someone is telling me not to do all she says. Although it could just be my Erudite wired brain over analysing everything.
Since Jeanine didn't need me for a while, I figured it would be a good idea to have lunch, considering the cafeteria would be serving lunch around this time. I stride confidently into the cafeteria and grab a soda and a chicken wrap, before being seated beside Nathan. All he and the rest of the student body have been constantly talking about Rose. Although the focus has been slowly drifting back to the aptitude test that would be in six days' time.
"I heard that the Amity could be from outside the fence and was escaping from whatever is out there. Then she got caught for trespassing and had a full on ninja battle, but during the climax of it all she got hit in the head with one of the ninja's nunchakus, which resulted in her memory loss!" He expresses in one breath, displaying an astonished appearance, while his glasses slide down his nose. Nathan has always been one for listening to rumours and was quite gullible at times. You might even think he is from Candor if it weren't for his glasses and Erudite uniform, besides he is in the top 3% in my form. As much as I find some of his Candor traits pestering, it humours me to hear some of the ridiculous rumours going around.
"Please don't tell me you actually believe that crap!"
"Of course not! But you have to admit, it would be pretty cool if it were true." God he is such a nerd! Granted we are all nerds, but at least I don't watch hundred year old comics found in the old archives. They may dream, of action, but they can't be bothered to get off their asses to do the tiniest bit of physical activity, unlike myself.
"Sometimes I question your position here at Erudite," I reply shaking my head.
"Well what do you propose happened to her? You have been close to Jeanine for the past year or so." I just shrug my shoulders and continue eating my wrap. I have to get closer to Rose so she will trust me and tell me what her fear was about. "I've been seeing you with a girl a lot lately, although strangely I don't recognise her." Shit! I was hoping no one would notice my walks with Rose, I don't want anyone to know about us.
"Uh, she's just an uh… a family friend! Yeah! She doesn't get out much. Her parents sheltered her from the outside, as they are germophobes." Usually I'm better at lying, but I lose my focus whenever Rose is concerned. She intrigues me and not just her mysterious situation, but also her personality, her beliefs. She makes me think secondly about all I've known. She is lost, yet she somehow carves her own path, finding her way home.
"Sure…" Nathan draws out, obviously not convinced. "You sure she's not your girlfriend or something?" he questions raising an eyebrow.
"What! No of course not! She is simply a friend. Her parents finally realised that if she wants to experience a proper life and expand her studies than she should get to experience the outdoors. Her parents trust me, so I was the logical choice," I attempt to rationalise my predicament, although I'm not sure Nathan is completely convinced, but he seems to be taking the bait. "Besides, she's only thirteen and she is not used to human interaction, so she is socially awkward."
"Okay then…" Nathan slowly nods his head in acceptance, "so can I take her?"
"WHAT!" Shit he can't take Rose! First of all she doesn't know who she is and Nathan would easily discover this, creating suspicion about me and my involvement with Jeanine. That's the one of the main reasons I told Rose my name was James, so no one would find out how deeply involved with her I am. Second, Nathan would just play with her feelings and as I much as I hate to admit, I don't want to see her hurt.
Nathan stares at me suspiciously before a huge grin carves into his lips. "I mean, I would let you have her but… her parents don't like her around strangers. They are very over protective."
"Whatever," he replies nonchalantly. Something tells me this won't be the last I hear of this. "So… you think you will get Erudite in the aptitude test?"
I think about saying yes but then hesitate. With an IQ of 151, I'm definitely not an idiot, but I like what Dauntless stand for… bravery. Sure I'm cruel, but does that make me brave? "Yes," I reply with apprehension, "why?"
Nathan shakes his head "No reason just curious, like Erudite should be." He puts up a good façade, but not good enough, he twists his ring on his index finger whenever he is anxious. You tend to pick up people's body language when you've known someone like Nathan from early infancy. I let it slide though.
The rest of lunch was uneventful, just the usual take on the latest experiments we've has to conduct. I head straight back to Rose's room, so I can have a little talk about what happened in her fear simulation. I see Rose curled up in a ball, I assume crying. I never know what to do when people are upset, it makes me uncomfortable… maybe I should come back later. No Eric, you have to be her friend and friends comfort each other in times of need. Great I think sarcastically, why did Jeanine have to give me this task?
I approach Rose silently and place a gentle hand to her back slowly rubbing it. She stiffens at my touch and turns her head to face me as I sit down next to her on her bed. I see her eyes are red and watery, her face blotchy from crying. She looks up at me with a mix of confusion and embarrassment, as I wipe away her tears whilst caressing her cheeks with my fingers. For a moment we just stare into each other's eyes, becoming lost in those teal eyes. They're an interesting colour, I used to think they were blue, but they are not, I even see specks of hazel within the teal. I suddenly pull away remembering I'm here for a reason.
"How are you?" I question.
"Better," her voice sounds raspy from crying. She clears her throat before starting again "why are you here?"
"To see how you are after your first fear simulation. It targets your emotional state, leaving many people the first time they go through pretty… distraught. I wanted to make sure you were okay." It may be a stretch of the truth, but she doesn't need to know that.
"Yeah I just… it felt so real even though in the back of my head I knew it wasn't, didn't change the fact that I was terrified. I just wish I c-could've…" She bursts into tears again, I freeze not knowing what to do. So I awkwardly pat her on the back in a poor attempt to comfort her.
"There, there." She then abruptly stops crying and starts laughing. What is with these mood swings? "Are you okay?"
She snuffs, wiping her nose with her sleeve. "Yeah, but your comforting skills could use some help though," she says giggling at her last statement.
I smile, trying to remove the awkward air between us. "What was your fear about anyways?" I observe how she pauses, eyes widening slightly as she moves her hair behind her ear.
"Umm… I don't really know. All I know is was looking for something that was extremely important. Can we not talk about it though?" But I need to know! Otherwise Jeanine won't make me a Dauntless leader.
I hold back a frustrated groan. I can't do anything that will make her think suspiciously towards me. "Okay, what do you want to talk about then?" I reply repulsed at myself for using a sickly sweet tone.
"Nothing I just want to be left alone," she mutters quietly as she lays her head on the pillow closing her eyes as silent tears fall down her cheeks. I sit there for a while contemplating whether or not I should try to talk to her again, but decide against it and leave the room.
I find myself walking to Jeanine's office with a hand full of questions. She was obviously lying when she said she didn't know what her fear was about. She clearly knows more than she is letting on. Why is she hiding it though? If she truly doesn't remember who she is, then how could she know to keep quite? Unless she remembered more than she told me.
I sit across from Jeanine, in front of her desk. "So, have you found anything about her fear simulation yet?"
"No, she claims to not know what it was about, just that she was looking for something important."
"Claims," Jeanine responds with a raised eyebrow.
"Her body language exhibited her concealing something. I believe she is withholding information."
"Don't you have her trust yet? If I can't rely on your Eric I might have to find-"
I cut her off, "I gained some of her trust, but she is guarded, understandably. How can you trust someone, when you don't know yourself? Maybe we can use a different approach, like the trust serum. This way we can not only see how she reacts to another serum, but it may also trigger some memories and we would know for sure of everything she knows as she won't be able to lie." Jeanine seem to process my argument, thinking it over in her head.
"Fine, we shall put her under the truth serum on Monday, but Eric don't think this puts you off the hook. You still must remain close to her," Jeanine sends me a warning glare, as I leave the room.
That means I still have tomorrow before Rose goes under the truth serum to hopefully gain more of her trust. I think after this morning with the fear simulation she probably won't trust me to put her under another serum. I've never been under the truth serum, but I've heard it can either be refreshing or it can feel as through you've been stripped of all your layers, down to the bone. I just hope it's not the latter, for both our sakes.
Rose
After James left, I wept like a baby. The pain, grief and agony engulfing me, as I start to hyperventilate. How can I tell him how I feel, how that one thing that I lost meant more than anything in the world to me? Jordan and I were so close and now she is gone… how do you go from having someone by your side, to not having them at all? It's like my emotions have taken over my body. I don't understand why I feel this way, but I do.
I didn't completely lie to James, I didn't tell him how I felt, but I got the feeling that he isn't one who is comfortable with talking about ones emotions. I chuckle at the memory of him trying to comfort me with an awkward pat on the back.
I turn over on my side and notice the book on my bedside table. It's a good read so far and I can tell it's going to be a big tear jerker. I can't help but feel connected to it though. I love Anna's character, she's around my age, but has the maturity of an adult. She understands the reality of life and death, especially being that her sister has leukaemia and she is the only thing stopping Kate from dying.
I'm up to the part in Sara's point of view, where she has just found out that Kate has leukaemia. This was a flashback though. In the present Anna has just asked Campbell, the lawyer, to take up her case to legal emancipation for medical purposes. I'm stuck between hating her parents and sympathizing them.
After finishing the chapter I place the book back on my bedside table. Jeanine wasn't angry like I thought she would be, when she found out I broke the simulation. She looked at me with excitement, but why? All I know is that won't be the last time I go under one of Jeanine experiments.
James. I still don't understand him. Whenever I feel like we are getting closer, he withdraws. What I don't get is it's in those times when he is withdrawn that he forces himself to stay. If he doesn't want someone to become close, then why stay and try to be nice? Boys, will I ever understand them?
Gale arrives, interrupting my thoughts. I have become accustomed to Gale and her various flashcards. She is a sweet elderly lady, with greying hair, in her late fifties. We converse in the occasional small talk, with her kindly asking me questions about my flashbacks.
It's not long before it becomes late and after dinner I find myself falling to sleep with a song replaying in my head.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try… to fix you
Like anyone could fix this broken mess inside me.
Hope you guys enjoyed that, it took me a long time to write this. Motivation is not at it's highest. I hope I showed you how I want to portray Eric, I realised with the last few chapters he was going soft, so I had to bring back some of his arrogance. If you haven't read 'My sisters keeper' by Jodi Picoult and only watched the movie, you should. Unless you don't like hopelessly crying. I was completely shocked I had to do a double take. Anyways this weeks shout out goes to:
-Dsparks
I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It is always nice knowing that someone liked what you have written and I know I am defiantly not the best. Next chapter will be up in two weeks. I'm hoping as it is holidays for me in a week, that I will be able to get some more writing in, for the two weeks I have off. Anyways don't forget to favourite, review and follow, I appreciate every single one of you!
-Caity
