A/N: There was some confusion over why Jax was put on a ventilator and that it would be rare. I understand this and I'm sorry if it put anybody off or bothered anybody. A reader (who has been on a ventilator) suggested it and I really like where it takes the story. It's a catalyst to strengthen the friendship between Jax and Corrie. The reason for the ventilator (besides the friendship) is that Jax develops a nasty cough. With him having recently had surgery on his right lung, to me it made sense that they'd want to lessen the stress of coughing on the repair in that lung so he wouldn't break his stiches because if he did that, they'd have to do surgery. Is it medically accurate? I don't know. I'm (obviously) not a doctor. I have no idea if anything I've written so far is very medically accurate. I just wanted to explain why I went with the ventilator story line. Since Jax can't really communicate besides writing stuff down, Corrie has to do a lot of talking. So again, I just wanted to explain why I went where I did. If it made any readers not want to continue reading the story, I'm sorry that it made you feel that way but there are reasons that I went where I did.


Day 36

"Good morning," Corrie said softly when Jax's eyes fluttered open. He gave her a small wave. "You're doing great, Jax." He patted the bed next to him. She lay down on her stomach, their arms touching, her feet almost hanging off the bed since she was so much lower on the bed. She fiddled with some small piece of plastic. "Your system seems to be fighting off your cold. We'll start reducing the oxygen level on the ventilator tomorrow to make sure everything is as it should be. Barring any problems, you'll be back in the medical ward by Friday." Jax scowled at her. "It's Wednesday. Trust me, I lose track of the days all the time." She smiled softly at him. He grabbed the whiteboard and wrote something on it. He tapped her shoulder a few times with his finger and handed her the board. It said "You Stockton?" She smiled. "How did I get to be a doctor at Stockton." He nodded. Jax saw the pain play across her face before she sighed.

Corrie looked up and gave him a small smile. "It's a long story." Jax scribbled on his whiteboard and showed it to her. It said "I got time." She chuckled and nodded.

"Well, I grew up about an hour and a half north of here. My dad worked graveyards at the factory in town. When I was about four, my mom woke me up at about ten one night. I remember my older sister in her red nightgown, her blonde hair sticking out in a small mat from sleeping, rubbing her left eye. She was grumpy and confused. My mom said I needed to get up so we could go see her parents. I knew that was weird even then because it was night time, we were supposed to be asleep. It was also what seemed like forever to get to my grandparents' place and my mom hated driving at night. It seemed like we'd been on the road for hours though it was just an hour. I remember the headlights flooding the car. I remember hearing my mom scream. Then everything went suddenly still. Almost like I was in a dream. The sound of screaming metal, breaking glass, the impact was enormous. I hit my head pretty hard on the window. Luckily my sister and I were in the backseat. Anyway, I got knocked out for a bit. I woke up to my sister crying and smoke coming into the car. She took my hand and led me out the back window. We called for our mom but there was no use. She'd been killed instantly." Corrie noticed that Jax had reached out and started stroking her hair. There was a scowl on his face. She didn't know that he could relate. "The guy that hit us stumbled out of his truck, belched, and passed out on the side of the road. I remember it being cold and dark. I was so scared. I didn't think anybody was going to find us and I thought I had just seen some guy die after hitting us. It was so quiet. Finally, a car stopped to help us. They were a nice couple, I wonder what ever happened to them?...Anyway, they stayed with us until the first responders showed up. I remember being at the guy's trial and hearing how he'd had a lot of drunk driving incidents. I remember him saying that while he was in prison he'd been attacked and he'd been in severe pain ever since so he drank to dull the pain. He'd been put in prison because he'd tried to kill a man who brutally raped and murdered his pregnant wife. I saw that man limp in and out of court for weeks. Anyway, my dad brought my sister and I up to the podium to give a victim impact statement. I still have no idea what came over me that day. Maybe I was too young to know that I was supposed to hate him. Before my dad could say anything I told him that I was sorry that he'd lost his family and that he was in so much pain physically. I made that man a promise that when I grew up I was going to become a doctor and make sure that what happened to him never happened to another inmate if I could help it. I had no idea how hard that promise would be to keep." Corrie smiled sadly before speaking again. "I learned later that my mom was leaving my dad that night. She'd found out somehow that he'd been having an affair with one of his co-workers while she was at work and he was supposed to have been home sleeping. He was never the same after we buried her. He married the woman he'd been having an affair with two years after my mom died. They had my brother ten years later when I was 14. My dad started drinking and being abusive towards me. Apparently I was the one who said something about a woman visiting us during the day to my mom and she had called the woman and confronted her. I don't think my dad ever forgave me for that."

Corrie shook her head. She was exhausted from reliving all of the pain that had consumed her life for 27 years. Corrie ran a hand over her face. She needed to get out of the hospital for a little bit, needed some fresh air. Jax's hand was still playing with her hair. "You should get some more rest. I'm going to go take a shower, get some fresh clothes. I'll be back in an hour or so. Will you be okay?" Jax nodded. He could understand her need to break out of this place. He'd been thankful that she'd spent so much time with him. He'd asked her to be with him through this but he didn't think she'd really give him so much time. She'd traded out shifts at the prison so she could spend the day the hospital. She went to work at St. Thomas at night while he was asleep and was there when he woke up.

Corrie gave him a kiss on the forehead. "It's almost over." Jax closed his eyes and nodded. He watched her leave before he shut his eyes again and tried to get some sleep until she got back or until somebody showed up for a visit. As Jax tried to relax against the pillow but he could tell his whole body was tense. He had been tense since Corrie had told him about her mother.

Pictures of what Corrie might have looked like at four years old flashed in his head. Her bright blue eyes, dark hair, perfect full lips. Then his thoughts turned to how scared she must have been when her mother woke her up that night and put her in the car with her sister. He tried to stop his thoughts but they were coming so fast. The car accident, two little girls alone on the side of the road while their dead mother was trapped in a burning car, a man passed out on the side of the road. The flashing lights of cop cars, ambulances, fire trucks. All the bustling people moving quickly around the scared girls, shouting orders. Suddenly Jax was 16 again standing by his broken father's bedside waiting for the inevitable. He remembered how his heart had physically hurt during those long days that John had clung to life. He could feel John's lifeless hand in his own. Jax remembered how hard it was when Gemma left the room for the first time in two days, something he'd waited for so he could speak to his father. Jax remembered having to swallow a lump in his throat before he was able to form words as tears coursed down his face.

"It's okay, Dad." Jax had whispered hoarsely, squeezing his dad's hand. "Thomas and I will take care of her. I love you, old man." It had startled Jax that his father's heart had stopped the moment Jax had finished speaking.

Jax tried to keep the tears at bay. That was 16 years ago, he reminded himself. He was a man now, a man that he hoped his dad would be proud of. Jax instinctively reached out for Corrie's hand but of course, she wasn't there. Jax tried to calm himself but he felt his chest tightening. He felt the familiar panic set in. Suddenly he felt that despite the ventilator he couldn't get enough air. His breathing became faster. His palms started sweating. He felt like he was going to throw up which scared him even more. He didn't know what would happen if he vomited with the tube in his mouth.

"Mr. Teller, you need to calm down." Dr. Lawson deadpanned. "If you don't stop panicking over nothing, I'm going to have to sedate you."

"Jax," Monty's deep voice barely registered with him. "You need to calm down, man. You're okay."

Jax felt the panic starting to overwhelm him. "Jackson, baby, what's wrong?" Gemma asked when she entered the room.

"Your son is reacting irrationally to the ventilator and may need to be sedated." Dr. Lawson stated bluntly. Monty caught the look Gemma shot the doctor.

"Doctor, maybe you should let his mom try to calm him down." Monty suggested. The big guard couldn't help but feel relieved when the doctor took his leave. Monty didn't know if he'd restrain Gemma if she tried to kill the rude doctor.

"Where's Dr. Samson?" Gemma asked as she took Jax's hand.

"She went to go get cleaned up. She should be back pretty soon. I texted her and told her to get back here." Monty said.

"Baby, look," Gemma said cupping Jax's face in her hand. "You need to calm down, okay?"

Jax made eye contact with his mother and tried to calm himself down. Instead, his whole body started shaking and his heart raced.

"What's the matter?" Gemma demanded of the guard. "Is he having a seizure?"

The door flew open. Gemma sighed with relief as Corrie walked into the room. Her hair was still dripping and her t-shirt collar was starting to get wet.

"Jackson," Corrie demanded pushing Gemma out of the way. "Look at me."

Jax looked up into he blue eyes that were serious and worried at the same time. She grabbed his hand forcefully in her own. Jax focused on her soft skin against his rough palm. "Breath in." She took a deep breath in along with him. He held it until she breathed out. "That's good. Nice deep breaths for me, okay?"

Jax nodded, his eyes focused on hers. "One more." Jax breathed in and held it before blowing it out. "Good. You're okay, remember? I'm not going to let anything bad happened to you." She realized what she'd said and grimaced. "Well, anything worse." His heart rate started slowing and the trembling was subsiding. "You know, Abel thinks the world of you. When he called me the other night, all he could talk about was you. He has so many plans for you when you get home. He wants to learn how to ride a motorcycle just like you do. He wants you to take him to the zoo and to the park. The day you get home he's going to have a big cake and ice cream waiting for you. All he could talk about for hours was you. That little boy worships the ground you walk on." Jax focused on what Corrie was saying and he was able to calm himself down. He reminded himself that he had to stay in control for Abel. If he had to get sedated he wouldn't be able to see his son.

"What was that?" Gemma asked.

"Panic attack." Corrie said as she ran her hand through what little hair Jax had. She clutched his hand in her other hand like it was a lifeline. "They're common in people on ventilators."

"Thank God you showed up when you did." Gemma said relaxing muscles that were on high alert. "That was some of the scariest shit I've ever seen."

"They can be terrifying if you don't what's going on. He's okay now." Corrie said. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Morrow but you're going to have to wait to visit him. He needs to rest for a bit."

"Please, call me Gemma." Gemma replied. She knelt down and kissed Jax's cheek. "Rest, baby. I'll be back later with Abel."

Corrie said in the chair next to Jax's bedside and ran her thumb over his knuckles as he fell asleep.