Chapter seven: Being stupid pays off

Author's note: This chapter is gonna be a little bit more serious than the last ones, but I hope you like it. The fun will return, I promise

-five hours ago, in Cartman's street-

Stan was pissed. He knew it was douchebag now and he wanted revenge. But he couldn't do it on this state. He was with a bitch slapping hangover and tired as fuck from walking around town! He needed some food, some nice sleep and no one to hold him back

The entire fucking town seemed to be laughing at him. He couldn't hear them, but he knew. He felt like a big fucking joke. It all felt way worse when he ate his cheeseburger and the alcohol started going away. That's when it truly got to him that everybody knew. Everyone! All his friends, his teachers, his douchebag co-students… hell, maybe even the girl he cheated on Wendy with knew. He somehow knew she didn't like him anymore… but this? No, he needed to do something. Screw being rational, he was out for blood!

About four and a half hours later he woke up and started walking. Then he bumped into Kyle

"Hey dude, are you feeling better?" Kyle asked with a smile

"Fuck you!" Stan said as he kept walking

"What? Dude, I know you're upset, but you can't fucking treat me like that! I'm the one that picks up the fucking pieces when you're down, dickhead" Kyle answered pulling Stan towards himself

"Then why didn't you fucking tell me?! If you're such a good friend, then why did you let Wendy run around with that fucking Douchebag without saying anything to me?! Great friend…" and he started walking again

"Dude, I… just didn't know what to fucking do. What do you do when one of your friends has a major crush on another friend's girlfriend for fucking years, and said girlfriend likes the other guy too, but they're all too busy being in fucking denial to notice how toxic this all is? I mean, do you have any idea what has it been like to watch all of you play this make believe? You don't even care about Wendy anymore, this is about your pride! I just wanted to stay out of this one"

Stan sighed "Dude, maybe you were right in staying out of the mess. But right now, I just wanna kick Douchebag's ass" Stan said and pushed Kyle aside, walking away

'Wait' Kyle thought 'Cartman lives two blocks down the other way down this street, where the fuck is Stan… Oh God, he thinks Douchebag is banging Wendy!' and Kyle started running to Don's bar, he knew Cartman and Wendy would be there. It's time to settle this whole fucking mess.

-Back to the present, everyone shoved in Cartman's car-

"Uh, Kenny… could you move a bit… your behind is in my face" Butters said, from the cramped backseat of Cartman's Toyota. He and Wendy were in the front while Kyle, Butters, Bebe and Kenny pretty much jumped in the back as Eric raced to douchebags house. They all agreed this has gone too far. They needed to set things straight before something stupid happened.

"Stop with the lead foot, fatass, you're gonna get us killed!" Kyle screamed, trying to free his foot from Bebe's face

"Well, next time stop your fucking boyfriend from doing something stupid, so I don't have to stop him!" Cartman spat back

"Well, if you two weren't in a huge freaking denial for half your lives, he wouldn't be doing something stupid. You would have dated Wendy at least four years ago and he would have fucking moved on by now" Kyle answered

"Kyle, I swear, if you take another single fucking jab at my relationship, I will ask my boyfriend for his chili recipe!" Wendy shot at him

"Then don't drag us along into the madness you two create." Kenny said

"We walked in Satan and our chemistry teacher having sex last week, whatever madness me and Cartman create seems fucking trivial in comparison" Wendy said. She had a point

"Not mentioning you and Bebe dying every other day for some stupid reason" Kyle said

"I knew that immortality shit was an STD" Bebe said

Cartman hit the brakes as he saw Stan and Douchebag arguing in front of the school. Stan looked pissed! He wanted to pound someone's face in. Douchebag's face

Cartman stopped the car, ran to Stan and tackled him to the ground

"Great! The shitheads are here to sort things out! Don't mind me, I'm just the guy who was two fucking seconds away from getting into a fight with a friend over something I have nothing to do with!" Now Douchebag was pissed

"Douchebag, let us sort this out…" Butters said trying to keep thing in a sane manner

Stan got up and Cartman and Kenny were holding him back. God, he was annoying when he was heartbroken. Kyle and Butters were holding Douchebag and Wendy and Bebe were just trying to keep their cool

"Would it hurt too much to fucking tell me, Wendy? And why one of my fucking friends, huh? It had to be close, didn't it? It had to be a guy I played with as a kid!" Stan started rambling on with his rage.

Wendy was getting angrier by the second. She may not have acted correctly sleeping with Cartman, but at least she loves him. And who the fuck Stan is to get angry? He slept with Lola at least five times before she slept with Eric! If Stan didn't shut up, she was gonna make him shut up.

"Stan, next time you try to have the moral high ground, DON'T FUCKING CHEAT ON ME FIVE TIMES BEFORE I CHEAT ON YOU!" Wendy screamed "This is all really fucking stupid. We're both at fault here, let this fucking thing go. Eric, let him go, I'll talk to him face to face"

Cartman released him and he started listening

"Face it Stan, we haven't been in love for a really long time… We need to put it behind us. You nearly beat up the wrong guy for this madness! This has to stop. I'll give you some time to think. When you calm down, I'll tell you the truth" Wendy said and then sighed, turning to Cartman "Eric, can you give me a ride home?" she asked

'Eric?' Stan thought in his rage. He was still trying to process all of this. 'Since when anyone but Butters calls him Eric?'

And that's when it hit him like a ton of bricks. He thought back to all those times Cartman and Wendy fought… the thought back to the flag debate when they were kids, the way she kissed him… she never kissed Stan like that, with such hard passion and drive... he remembered their fight and how weak Cartman seemed… almost like he couldn't bring himself to hit her

He remembered all the times she pissed him off on purpose, just to see what would he do

He remembered all the pranks he played on her just to piss her off

And the way they looked at each other right now just confirmed it. It just felt like they belonged, like they were drawn to fit one another…

Maybe he'd be okay with this one day, but right now he was running in Cartmans direction to kick his ass.

Kenny and Bebe tried to hold him, but he pushed them away into the street. A car ran them over

"Oh my God, I killed Kenny!" Stan said

"Oh my God, you killed Bebe!" Wendy said

"You bastard!" Kyle screamed

And now it was Cartman's turn to start a fight. And it would be ugly

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