Severus was roused awake when someone stiffened in his arms. He braced himself and slowly and quietly whispered. "Hermione, you are safe you fell asleep in my arms last night and that's it. I promise you do not have to ever be afraid of me or with me."
The previous night's events came rushing back to Hermione. She could not relax entirely, Severus took this cue and got up and stretched and Hermione cuddled up under the duvet. "Please don't leave; perhaps we should talk a bit."
"I wasn't going anywhere," replied Severus and walked over to the edge of the bed and sat down.
"Harry told you about… what happened to me."
"Yes."
"Severus, I do not want your pity. Last night, I was just overwhelmed with everything with you coming to live here, um… our kiss and then you seeing me naked. Then this bastard at work just… I'm sorry you had to witness it all Severus, but it really does happen so rarely now that I'm sure last night was just a fluke."
"Hermione, you do not need to convince me to stay and I do not pity you. Yes, you should be able to express your feelings freely, but the way you do so is not healthy."
Hermione scrambled out of bed and pushed a finger in his face, "Do not presume to tell me what is and is not healthy for me. You have only been here two days!"
He let Hermione say what she needed to and he remained quiet. He wanted her to feel safe with him, to be able to talk to him or yell at him if need be. Last night, in his mind, would not happen again if he had any say so. He would rather talk or yell or cry but throwing things and destroying things wasn't acceptable. He did not want her to think he was treating her like a child, so he just kept his mouth shut about it.
Hermione sat down in the chair next to her window, charmed to look like she was looking out onto the beach. She canceled the spell and she could now hear and see the waves and the birds and she could feel the heat of the sun upon her. She closed her eyes and exhaled the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.
"Maybe, maybe this isn't going to work. Perhaps, I am just too fucked up for you. You deserve someone who isn't broken," she scoffed, "in more ways than one."
Severus got up and walked behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder, she shuddered but relaxed as much as she could under him.
"Hermione, it's only been two days. I have barely processed what I have missed. Yes, the majority of it is absolutely awful, but I think that perhaps you should let me judge what I can and cannot take. I made you a vow last night, Hermione, and I plan to keep it. You told me I had family here, at least let me have a chance at it."
She turned and looked up to him. She put a hand on his and squeezed. "Let's go get some fucking breakfast."
"Gods, girl, that mouth," he remarked.
He moved around the chair and offered her a hand and she smiled and ran a hand through her hair. "I must look absolutely dreadful."
"No, you look absolutely gorgeous." She took his hand and they walked down to breakfast.
Severus had been living with the Harry, Draco, and Hermione for several weeks. Hermione got over Severus seeing her naked and they all fell into a routine. Severus taught himself how to cook and cooked everyone dinner during the week. They would work, come home join him for dinner and then they would all retire to the library until bed time. He had found out that they had a special department for domestic violence and abuse. The boys went to Kingsley one day and presented the idea to him. They still hadn't found the lowlifes who raped Hermione and they hoped that with this particular department that they could spend the resources Kingsley gave them to find them and others like them. They had two parts to their department now. Hermione did the paperwork and led groups who would come in for counseling, while Draco and Harry would go out and find the men or women who did the crimes. They were trained as Aurors, so it came in handy. After they were established they had hired a few more Aurors and Hermione hired a witch and wizard with experience in psychology to help her out.
Over the weeks, Severus watched Hermione and seen that she had been more relaxed lately. He was happy to see this, because that means she was learning to trust him completely and was not scared to be with him. Over the weeks as they got to know each other, he realized that he was falling for the witch. He knew that he felt something when he had first arrived, which prompted him to be so easy with her enough to share a kiss, but this, this was something deeper. He was curious to see how this all developed, but did not force it. He wanted it to come naturally for them both; he knew how she felt but did not want to push her into anything more physical or mentally demanding.
During this time he cleared out the basement and set up a potions lab. He, begrudgingly, asked Draco for a loan to purchase everything and Draco had been more than happy to give him the money. He told Draco he'd pay him back once he started selling his potions. So, he set up a business out of the basement and used owls to deliver the potions to his customers. It did not take him long to build up a business when he had the three others using word of mouth with their clients. He'd work while everyone was at work and stopped an hour before they were due home to cook them dinner. He enjoyed his place in their home and he, in no time at all, began to refer to it as his home, as well.
On this particular night he was going to be making veal. He had just put it in the oven when he realized he forgot the wine. He ventured out while the veal was cooking to the local store to pick some up. He wasn't out long, maybe twenty minutes, but when he came back everyone was home and all hell had broken out.
He walked into the dining room to see that the table had been pushed over and the dishes he had set out were broken all over the room. He walked around the house and noticed that all the pictures were thrown around and broken. He walked on broken glass and heard the crunch beneath his feet. He reached the kitchen and set the wine on the table and took the veal out of the oven and put a warming charm on it. He calmly walked to the library where the boys were.
They were reading and acting as if nothing was happening.
"This is fucking bullshit."
"Severus just let it go, it's been a bad fucking day," Harry replied.
"What the fuck could've happened?"
Draco closed his book and got up, "The last two boys that were caught a couple months ago told the Wizegamot that they were under the Imperius curse when they raped Hermione and they ruled in their favor."
"No, no fucking way."
"Yes and those fucks are out there where they can do it again. Hermione is more furious than scared. The only reason she says she is scared is if it happens to someone else. I'm afraid if she doesn't get it out, she'll go kill them. Please, Severus, let her get this out," Harry begged.
Severus started to pace when he heard the screaming. He stopped; Harry looked at him begging him to let her be.
He didn't heed the warning. He walked out to where Hermione was, she was staring out into nothing and she was just screaming at the top of her lungs. The lights were flickering with how much of her magic was streaming out of her.
He walked behind her and gently put a hand on her shoulder. "Severus if you know what is good for you, you will leave this room now."
"No, I told you last time this happened that it was unacceptable and I would not allow you to do this anymore."
"I thought you understood." She raised her hand and flung him against the wall out of her way.
The air knocked out of him, but he got up and tried again. "Hermione Jean Granger, you are home, you are safe. Enough of this…this violence, this is not you. Hermione come back to me."
She laughed at him and pushed him against the wall again with just a flick of her wrist. "This is what he made me. This is what I am now; a fucked up piece of garbage who's not worthy of anything or anyone. Even you won't get close and touch me. Everything I touch turns to shit anyways, you are better off. "
She made her way up the stairs to her room. She slammed the door and locked it. He could hear things slamming against the wall and her screaming again before she put up a silencing spell.
He would get through to her or die trying. He got up, took a deep breath, and walked upstairs. He tried the knob, it was locked.
He whispered "Alohomora" and a "Finite Incantatem" but the door was still warded. He could hear her sobbing through the door but still could hear her throwing things back and forth. He worked on the wards; she was growing more tired and could barely hold up the wards. She collapsed on the floor and brought her knees to her chest and started rocking back and forth. Severus finally broke through her wards and walked into her room. He looked around. Her chair was torn up, her bed on the other side of the room, the sheets and duvet torn to shreds, papers everywhere. He muttered a reparo and slowly everything went back to the way it was. He walked over to Hermione and got onto his knees.
"Hermione," he went to touch her arm but gave her a second more to realize it was him.
"Severus, just go away, I'm a lost cause," she whispered to him.
"I will never leave you, Hermione; you were there when I was a lost cause. You fought for me, you saved me and I will do the same."
"Why, Severus, why I am not worth a damn."
"You are worth it, to me."
"I am damaged goods. You don't want me."
"I do want you."
"Are you going to save me?"
"Yes, if you'll let me."
"Why, Severus, tell me please."
"Because, Hermione, I… I love you."
She looked up and tears were streaming down her face.
"I am a difficult woman."
He smiled and replied, "I know."
He sat down beside her and pulled her into his lap. "I will always be with you, I will never leave you and I meant it then and I mean it now."
She snuggled into Severus' chest and fell asleep. He stood up, careful not wake her and took her and laid her upon her bed. He turned to go check on the boys and then retire himself.
"Stay with me tonight…just… um… sleeping, of course."
He smiled and took her hand and kissed it. "I shall return, then, my love."
