THANK YOU! You guys are fucking awesome! This chapter is dedicated to my "big brother" and best friend Patricia.

Colin is moaning loudly in his ear and against his hip he can feel his stepfather´s erection getting bigger and bigger. The pain, the shame has taken over his emaciated body completely and he wants to scream when the man suddenly grabs him between the legs and starts rubbing. In the corner of his eye he can see Colin´s cold smile, the smile that scares the living daylight outta him. He tries, really tries, to forget that he is standing naked in the dark with his stepfathers hand on his private parts. But he knows that he can´t forget, not now, not ever, and knowing that is slowly killing him.

"Will you be a good little boy for daddy?" Colin breathes heavily as he continues to rub him hard. "Tell daddy that you love him, boy."

He weeps in silence as he wishes for Connor.

XxX

He is cussing loudly as he blames himself for everything. If he wasn´t such a horrible brother Murphy wouldn´t be having nightmares, or having panic attacks in the bathroom and he wouldn´t be all alone in the dark right now. He really thought that he could handle it, that he could protect his baby brother from harm but now it´s obvious that he can´t. He have failed the one person that he truly cares about and knowing that is killing him. For a second he lies still, listening, before he takes a deep breath and stands up.

"Pull yourself together for fuck sake." He sighs and dries the tears with the back of his hand. "Go and find Murphy before he finds himself some trouble."

With determination he runs out of the house, forgetting to lock the damn door, and heads for the only place he can think of; the old barn. It´s really dark outside and behind the trees he can see the shadows lurking, it´s almost like they are waiting for someone.

"Murph!" He cries out as he keeps running through the dark. "Murphy!"

The cold wind blowing through the trees is the only answer he gets. He keeps running as he shouts his baby brother's name, hoping Murphy will hear him and find comfort in his voice because he knows exactly how scared Murph is. The thought of his little brother crying in the dark makes him run faster and scream louder. His heart is beating dangerously fast and he can feel the taste of blood in his dry throat, that´s begging him to slow down. But he keeps running, like the devil himself is chasing him. Suddenly he hears a quiet whimper and an intense whisper; he stops dead in his track right in front of the old barn, knowing instantly that´s his baby brother. Relief fills his chest and without a sound he walks in to the barn, looking for his little brother. The inside of the shabby barn reminds him of a haunted house from a bad horror movie where the blonde, "friendly" girl dies first. The noise is coming from upstairs from the hayloft at the window where the moonlight can peep in. Without hesitation he starts climbing the wobbly ladder, thanking God that he doesn't have a fear of heights. The first thing he sees when he crawls off the ladder and on to the dingy floor is the tears in his baby brother's eyes, sparkling like diamonds. Murphy is leaning against one of the walls with his knees drawn to his chin, shaking, in a childish attempt to shield himself from the darkness.

"Murphy." He says quietly with the worried older brother voice he no longer can control.

"C-c-connor." Murphy sobs as his eyes refuses to look at him. "I-I d-don-n´t d-deserve y-you-u."

"What?" He exclaim shocked, rushing to his brothers side. "You´re talking crazy, Murph."

Gently he touches Murphy's trembling shoulder but his little brother flinches and shrugs of his hand. With eyes filled with hurt he looks at Murphy who avoids looking at him. His baby brother's baby blue eyes are red from the salty tears that are streaming down his pale face and dried blood is covering the trembling lips.

"I-it´s s-s-so d-dark C-connor-r." Murphy mumbles under his shaky breath. "D-dark s-shad-dows e-everywhere."

This time he grips his little brother's hand and pulls him in to a hug. Murphy let´s himself disappear into his warm, safe embrace and clings on to him like a drowning man clings on to a raft. The sobbing is loud and he can feel his shirt getting wet from Murphy´s tears, snot and blood.

"The darkness can´t harm you sweet Murph." He says in a soothing voice as he gently strokes his baby brother's back. "When you get scared of the dark and the shadows just remember that I can be your light. I will make the darkness disappear. I will keep you safe and guide you home."

"I-I d-d-don´t deser-rve y-you…" Murphy cries into his chest. "I-I´m f-f-filthy a-and d-di-isgusti-ing an-nd u-usel-less a-a-and s-s-s-tu-up-pid…"

His heart weeps in silence.

"I thank God every day, Murphy, for giving me you." He admits and buries his face in Murphy´s dark hair. "You are the bravest, most intelligent person I have ever met and you´re funny and kind, so kind, Murph. You my dear brother deserve the best brother in the world so I am so sorry you got stuck with me..."

No longer can he control his tears, he cries openly and pulls his little brother even closer.

"You are my big brother." Murphy says without stuttering as he moves his hand to his big brother´s heart, feeling it pound in the same rhythm as his own.

Five simple words but he knows the true meaning of them, making more tears stream down his face, tears of joy and love. He gives Murphy a big kiss on the head, rocking him slowly and he can feel his little brother relax.

"Thank you, baby brother. I love you too."

For almost an hour they sit in silence holding on to each other, forgetting the world outside. But when he opens his eyes and sees the darkness he can no longer shut out the world, to his great annoyance.

"Murphy, please, tell me, who is hurting you? Tell me and I will make that son of a bitch pay for what he did to you. I promise."

His baby brother stiffens in his arm, but he doesn´t try to run away, not this time. Murphy is tired of running.

"Who hurt you?"

"C-colin…"