Writer's Woes: I'm almost certain that no one is going to read this. ...It's not any good, anyway, so at least no one's missing out on anything.
If she closed her eyes, she could make it all disappear. Xion pressed the sea shell to her ear. The rough sides scraped her ear. Waves crashed against the sandy shore. She drifted off into that lazy blue sky, pretending that she wasn't in those woods, choking back tears that couldn't come. She focused on the sound of the waves, mesmerized by their depths. She could drown in the roar of the waves. Everything was calm and perfect.
She sighed, her fears mollified, if only for a moment. This was how things were supposed to be. She was not supposed to laugh up at sunset-tinged skies with her friends. She was not supposed to wrap her fingers around the rough popsicle stick and nibble at her favorite, salty-sweet treat. She was not supposed to tightly grasp the hands of her friends. She was supposed to let go.
She couldn't let go. It would hurt too much.
Xion didn't have anytime left for dreaming. She pocketed the shell, attempting to pull herself back together and continued walking.
She saw his face looking up at her from a puddle. She lifted her hands up and hid his face in the darkness of her hood.
She had to do this. For him. She wanted to be with Axel and Roxas, but she felt so wrong. Nothing was hers. Not even those perfect late afternoons watching the sunset. She was helpless. Everything was falling apart and she had to fix it. But she didn't think she could.
She could never have what she wanted.
She started to run. She ran and ran and ran. All the familiar sights passed by in a blur. Her footfalls clicked on the cobblestone streets noisily. The sound burst violently against her eardrums, but soon it became a gentle rhythm, calling her to dream.
She was pretending again. She fancied that she had spent a little too much time on a mission and she was going to be late to meet Roxas for ice cream. She would make it up to him by buying him some ice cream. She would hand it to him and smile. She would say she was sorry for all the trouble and confusion she'd caused. Everything would be okay.
Except it wouldn't. She had to see Roxas again, though. But she knew if she saw him again, she would have to-- No. She tried to stop that thought from entering her mind. But it had and it was slowly poisoning her thoughts. What she had to do was slowly tearing her apart.
She tried to control herself. She stopped running and slowly stepped into the shop where she always bought sea-salt ice cream.
The bells tied to the door jingled pleasantly as she pulled the door open. She would miss the sound of those lovely bells greeting her. They jingled, greeting her joyfully. She could have drank in the sight of that cramped store one last time, but she didn't care to look around her. She would not take one last painful look around the shop. It would hurt too much to say goodbye. She would pretend that this was not the last time she would open that door.
"Two bars of sea-salt ice cream, please." The words almost caught in her throat, but she managed to say them anyway.
The shopkeeper smiled at her, quickly opening his freezer and pulling out the ice cream. He seemed to be in an excellent mood today.
"Since you and your friends are such good customers," she could hear the smile in his voice. He lowered his voice in mock seriousness,"I'll give you a little discount. Two for one." He held up two fingers and then one. He grinned broadly, laughed heartily and added "I know you'll just be here again tomorrow."
She couldn't take it. She couldn't stop the rain from falling anymore. She just couldn't hold it in. Warm, salty rain for long-lost, melted days of sea-salt ice cream. The rain fell from blue skies that were not her own. Blue eyes that were her doom and destiny intertwined.
"Is everything alright?" He grew serious suddenly, his eyes soft with concern.
She bravely brushed away the tears she was told she couldn't have. She sunk further into the comforting darkness of her hood, hiding the face that had become her fate.
Xion couldn't pretend anymore. Sora needed her. Maybe, she needed him, too.
The shopkeeper watched her carefully, wondering what was the matter. She couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear. Everything was not alright. She could only say what she knew.
"Nothing will be the same tomorrow." Her voice shook slightly, though she tried her hardest to stay strong. After all, it was the only thing she was sure of anymore.
