C.J. entered the suite, the text message still on her mind. She hadn't said anything on the elevator ride up with Matt about it. But what was there to say? They both had received threats and warnings through just about every mode of communication before and they'd both dealt with it. She had no idea who might have sent it except that the individual had to have her cell phone number.
But she didn't want to think about it right now. Matt had followed her in the suite and had opened the French doors out into the patio area. The warmth of the night air carrying a mild breeze off the ocean wafted inside the suite.
"It's supposed to be raining in a day or so," Matt said, "So maybe we should enjoy the nice weather."
She nodded and followed him outside, picking up a bottle of wine, some glasses nd then sitting on a chaise after they'd turned the outer lights on which highlighted the rain forest motif around them. Matt took out his phone.
"I got a message from Tex," he said, "Must have bailed out from jail."
C.J. didn't look at him. She figured that he must have made bail since he'd clearly had more than enough money to pay it. She watched as he clicked the buttons on his phone to listen to the message.
"Houston…I'm just calling to tell you that I'm out of jail and back at the condo….we can meet tomorrow as scheduled but I told you I might be seeking outside counsel….
Matt put his phone away and turned towards her.
"Houston if he wants to get another attorney, it's probably for the best."
He sat down next to her on the chaise.
"Why?"
She sighed.
"Because he doesn't want me on it," she said, "and I'm not sure that he's innocent."
"That's what you told me earlier," he said, "But you never told me why."
She just sat there not answering.
"Why would you say that?"
Her body tensed as she looked at him.
"Why would you assume that he couldn't be guilty Houston," she asked, "I know you've known him a long time or thought you did."
He frowned at her.
"What does that mean," he said, "that I thought I knew him?"
She didn't back away.
"Exactly what I said…what if you didn't really know him at all?"
He remained quiet, but she knew his mind was working, trying to find a way into what she didn't want to say, the part of her that had kept a secret from him and everyone else for so long.
"What do you mean?"
She just looked at her hands, not elaborating.
"C.J…"
She looked up at him.
"Because I don't think either of us really did Houston," she said, "only now I do know better."
Her answer frustrated him; she could see that in his face and his body language.
"Is that why you don't like him?"
She just stared at him.
"Because I figured out that you don't," he said, "and I want to know why."
She sighed, pulling her hair back.
"It doesn't matter now Houston," she said, "Like I said it's all in the past."
He looked at her frustrated and she hated seeing him that way but what would saying anything to him about something years ago accomplish now? She'd moved past it hadn't she? But then looking at him, she knew the investigative side of him would assert itself.
"What's in the past?"
She looked up at the sky, felt the warm breeze carrying more than a hint of moisture against her skin.
"It's going to rain soon."
Matt leaned back on the chaise.
"Yeah a tropical storm's due in a day or so," he said, "we might get the tail end of it."
She nodded thoughtfully.
"C.J. what was in the past?"
She sighed realized that he wasn't going to give up in his pursuit of information that she didn't want to share with him.
"Houston, I told you it doesn't matter," she said, "You can't change the past anyway."
"I know that, though there's been times I'd wanted that like with…"
C.J. knew the rest that he'd left unsaid, meaning that she knew that Matt would have changed what had happened on the day he believed his cousin Will had been killed in action when they'd both been sent off to fight a war overseas. Even though Will had turned out to be alive, he had still lost over a decade of his life including time with his family including Matt.
"Houston…I think that's only natural," she said, "I feel the same way like when I got in the car with Too-Mean and left Carl by himself with his broken down car. If only I had stayed with him or he'd left with me…"
She closed her eyes momentarily because even two years later, the pain still resonated with her. Matt reached with one of his hands and coaxed a strand of hair off of her face, caressing her skin. She smiled up at him but her eyes still carried some sadness.
"Maybe I feel the same way with Tex."
Matt adjusted himself in his seat.
"How so?"
She took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly.
"Maybe I would have acted differently towards him," she said, "You know I had a crush on him."
Matt's brow furrowed and she thought maybe he hadn't known. He had his own life keeping him busy when they'd both been in high school.
"You did…"
She nodded.
"Yeah I don't know why now but maybe it's because he paid so much attention to me," she said, "He treated me like I was on his level…not a kid."
"I know…that's what I liked about him too," Matt said, "He worked me as hard as any of his grownup hands."
C.J. remembered that he had done the same with her and hadn't granted her any favors because she'd been female.
"I liked him a lot and I trusted him," she said, "He seemed to look out for me because I didn't have a father."
She remembered how he had always been there when she'd needed someone to talk to and seemed to know when she needed words of encouragement.
"He cared about you C.J."
Her eyes looked away from him and something caught in her throat.
"Yeah I thought he did Houston."
His eyes narrowed.
"What do you mean thought he did?"
She sighed.
"Just what I said," she said, "until the day of the storm."
He looked at her puzzled.
"What storm?"
Fair enough question given how many storms had crossed their paths while growing up in what had been part of Tornado Alley after all. Not to mention all the tropical weather that spun off of hurricanes that struck the coastline on the Gulf of Mexico.
She sipped her wine and he silently awaited her answer.
"That summer when I was 16 and we were hit with the tornado that nearly leveled the barn."
Matt's eyes widened slightly and she knew he remembered it, pictured the damage to his father's ranch inside his head.
"Okay I remember, so what happened that day?"
She took a deep breath again, watching him. The words didn't come easily, each one a bit of a struggle.
"I was out riding fence line by myself," she said, "the four of us had split off and hit different quadrants earlier."
Matt nodded, clearly remembering that day.
"I finished early and was waiting for you and Tex to return to the barn," he said, "then I saw the sky darken…and knew we were in for a big one."
"I did too, only it was too late to make it back," she said, "I saw the funnel clouds Houston and knew I had to take cover fast."
Matt's eyes focused on hers and she knew he was remembering that day. Having been caught in a storm himself, he knew that ever second counted to avoid being caught up in it.
"So you headed to the storm cellar near the old barn."
She nodded, smoothing a strand of hair back.
"As fast as my mare would carry me," she said, "and I did reach there in time. I got there and just as I jumped off, I saw Tex."
Matt knew the story that Tex had grabbed her and helped her get into the storm cellar just before a tornado reached out of the darkened sky to rip apart the landscape next to the old barn. If it hadn't been for Tex's quick action….he closed his eyes not wanting to think about it.
"He saved your life."
C.J. couldn't deny that he had done that but what Matt didn't know was that he'd taken a piece of her as well. Looking at the expression on his face, did she really want to tell him that about the man who had mentored him?
"Yes he did….and we stayed in the shelter for a while."
Matt frowned.
"Yes you did…even after the tornado had passed."
She sipped her wine again, her hand a bit shaky.
"Just until the rain stopped," she said, "then we headed back to the barn and I saw you there."
She had both longed for and dreaded the moment that she'd first see his face when she reached for the barn. Wanting to wrap her arms around him yet what if he looked into her eyes and saw the truth?
The way that he looked at her now.
"I was so glad to see you Houston…"
Matt sighed.
"I know I was never happier than when I saw you riding towards me," he said, "I was just about to come out looking for you to make sure you were okay."
She knew that he would have done that, or whatever it would have taken to find her no matter what. That knowledge had given her a feeling of security during difficult periods in her life.
"I know that…but I wasn't okay Houston…."
His eyes widened as he looked at her and she knew she had said too much. But she didn't feel like keeping the words to herself anymore.
"What do you mean you weren't okay?"
She rubbed her forehead before she looked at him and saw that his body had tensed up even while he looked at her.
"C.J. you can tell me anything you know that don't you?"
She sighed watching the concern on his face but knowing that what she had to tell him would change how he viewed one of the most important people in his life.
"I know but this is different," she said, "I've never told anyone."
Matt looked at her for a long moment and she felt uncomfortable under his intense gaze. She rubbed her arms while she looked back at him.
"Maybe you should….what happened with you and Tex during the storm?"
She saw the concern on his face as he looked at her and knew what the truth might cost him.
Suddenly she felt the urge to run away…like she hadn't been able to do that day. But now years later…she felt it again.
She got off the chaise, pulling away from him in more ways than physically and shook her head.
"I can't…just let it be…"
She headed back quickly into the suite without a backward glance leaving him in her wake.
