Hair tickled his nose, and Dick turned away, not quite ready to open his eyes yet. But the man in his arms shifted, groaning softly with the same idea.
"Dickie, what time is it?" Jason muttered into his collarbone.
"Dunno. Early."
Jason yawned, lifting his head, bumping into Dick's jaw. He cracked an eye open, looking at the clock.
"It's nearly noon," he groaned.
Dick pulled him to his chest. "Then let's sleep until noon."
"Alfred will kill us."
"We're Gotham's protectors. He wouldn't dare," Dick said sleepily. He finally opened his eyes, smiling at Jason's grouchy face. "Don't you want to sleep in?"
"Yes," Jason said. "But we probably shouldn't. It's bad for the sore muscles. And it feels like you've got something to take care of. It's bruising my thigh."
Dick held out tightly for another second before letting go. Jason rolled out of his arms and sat up. He stretches, and Dick watches him lazily.
"What," Jason asked, joints popping and cracking. He grinned, letting his arms drop. "I'm a tiger, remember? A cat. I stretch with the most ridiculousness possible."
Jason then made his way to the bathroom, leaving Dick by himself. When he came out, he found that Dick had cocooned himself back into the blankets, sitting in the middle of the bed like a large baby. Only his eyes peeked out from the bundle.
Jason gave him an amused look before starting for Dick's clothes (technically they're Jason's anyway), pulling on a pair of jeans. Dick watched his every move, silently, in his large cocoon.
"Alfred is probably willing to whip up a late brunch up for us if we hurry," Jason called. "Tim's gone today, so we have the entire Manor to ourselves."
At that, Dick sprang out of the bed, pulling a faded band shirt over his head before running after Jason. He caught up with him at the stairs.
"Oh, so that's what's on your mind?" Jason asked with a snort.
Dick gave him a confused look. "Alfred's French toast?"
Jason snorted, shaking his head. "You're too nice, Dickie."
Dick did not understand what Jason was talking about, but he took it as a compliment anyway. He made a happy humming noise and leaned against Jason, letting their arms touch.
"So what's the plan for today?" Dick asked later, his mouth full of French toast. "You mentioned Tim gone. Where'd he go?"
"His friend Connor's house. Probably to play video games and eat junk all day."
Dick nodded, taking another huge bite. "So what are we doing?"
Jason shrugged. "I've got no plans today. We can do whatever."
They ended up just walking around the extensive grounds, hand in hand, just talking about nothing and everything. It felt so... normal. Dick wondered if this was what a normal life was like. If he could have had a normal life on Earth had he stayed. Maybe he would have grown up and met Jason anyway.
But whatever it was like, it could not be better than this. Dick could not imagine anything better than this. He looked at Jason, the way he talked, gesturing vividly, or the way he turned slightly to look at Dick, smiling. Jason had so many smiles, and Dick felt like he was the keeper of Jason's smiles. And he did not want to share them with anyone else.
"Hey, Dickie," Jason said. "Do you know how to play hide-and-seek?"
Dick made a face. "I do... though I've never played before, to my knowledge. Heard of it. And it's not as fun with reapers. They can turn invisible."
"Oh, that's comforting," Jason said. "Do you want to play?"
"Here? In the Manor?" Dick asked.
Jason nodded.
"Don't you have an unfair advantage? I've been here for a week and four days, Jason. You've lived her for who knows how many years."
"I'll go easy on you. You can even hide first. And we'll have a forfeit. If the seeker finds the hider, the hider tells the seeker a secret. And if the seeker gives up, he must tell a secret."
Dick stared at Jason hard. "Do you have a motive behind this?"
Jason groaned. "You've been hanging out with Tim for too long. Go hide." He started counting loudly.
Dick laughed and ran away, turning around a corner and disappearing. He ran up to the third floor, which as far as Dick knew, was mostly unused, aside from storage. He cracked open a door and slipped inside.
Dick closed the door again and sighed, turning around. He stopped and froze.
The thick smell of dust hung in the air, making it feel stuffy and dry, but this room was obviously not just an empty guest room. Dick knew that Alfred had meticulously covered all the furniture in unused rooms, so why had this room been bypassed?
Dick took a couple steps forward, taking in his surroundings.
This room was a little smaller than the guest room he was staying in, also a bit less lavish. The king sized bed had red sheets, just regular cotton sheets, not silk or satin. Dick ran his fingertips along the bed, his fingers coming away grey with dust. There were designs on the duvet, thick stripes of alternating shades of red. A large oak desk took up another corner, and a bookshelf in yet another. Trophies and figurines took up as much space on the bookshelf as books, which were carefully organized into every spot available.
Dick approached the desk first. The entire face of the desk was clean, free of papers or books of any kind. A couple dusty pictures sat on the shelf above it. An old lamp, its lightbulbs probably burnt out, stood next to it. Dick swiped a couple fingers across the front of one photo.
The first face that popped out at him was Jason's. A younger version, fifteen or so. He had his arms around two other people, both with fiery red hair. He and the boy were grinning, but the girl looked mildly annoyed as well as amused, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Dick smiled. They looked happy.
He set the photo down, his hand running over a rough area in the oak desk. Dick looked down, squinting. Carved into one corner were the initials, J.T. So it was Jason's old room. Why did he move then? And leave everything of his here still, uncovered?
Dick walked to the bookshelf, reading the old plates of the trophies, mostly academic awards, a few for something called cross country, and a lot of classic literature books. He did not know that Jason liked to read.
The door behind him opened, and Dick whirled around.
Jason stood in the doorway, his eyes roaming around the room, wide and vulnerable. They landed on Dick, who had been holding one of the trophies in his hand.
"Dick," Jason said in a low voice, still scanning the room. "What are you doing in here?"
Dick opened and closed his mouth a couple times. "I didn't mean to," he finally admitted. "I found it on accident, and I did not know it was your room until a few seconds ago!"
Jason pressed his lips together tightly. Then, he shook his head. "It's not my room anymore." Then he walked out. Dick quickly set down the trophy and followed Jason out. He found Jason sitting by the stairs, his eyes pinned straight ahead. Dick dropped to a seat beside him.
"Jay..."
"That was my room before Tim came along," he said.
"Oh. What happened after Tim came?" Dick asked softly.
Jason was quiet for a long time. "One of my best friends, Roy, he... he overdosed. Then, Kori moved to San Francisco. We used to- We used to spend a lot of time in my room, spending all nights awake. We thought it would be like that forever. I had only had the mantle of Robin for a year."
Jason took a shaky breath.
"You don't have to tell me," Dick said gently. "You found me, after all. I should be spilling the secrets."
Jason shook his head. "No, I think- I think it's time I told someone." He turned and looked at Dick. "I'm glad it's you, Dick."
Dick smiled and took his hand, intertwining their fingers. "I'm glad too."
Jason was silent for a while before continuing. "I had my run in with Joker a week after all that too. I got away rather unscathed, but it was then that I finally realized what the real world was like. It was not a joke anymore. The criminals out there actually kill people, they actively try to. Death happened around me all the time, and there I was, worrying about the next cross country meet or my English essay!"
Dick squeezed Jason's hand gently, a sign of reassurance. Jason took a deep breath and continued. "Tim came along around then too. I wasn't allowed on patrol for a month and was sent to live with one of Bruce's old friends in England for that month, "to find myself", Bruce said. I came back and found out that Tim had been given the mantle of Robin. I was furious. Went on this huge rampage in blind rage. I didn't know what the hell I was doing until Bruce pried the metal pipe from my shaking hands." Jason shook his head and gave Dick a sad look. "I killed a man that night, Dickie. I was so scared. I wasn't scared Bruce was going to kick me out. I had been prepared for that the moment he adopted me. But I was so fucking afraid of the look of disappointment, the bitter tightening of his lips, and the cold look in his eyes. I had tried nothing more than to be what he wanted, Dick. I tried, but I wasn't good enough."
He stopped there. "He's an idiot," Dick said gently.
"No, he isn't," Jason said, with a ferocity Dick had not been expecting. "Don't fucking say that! Because you don't know what he did next! He- He wasn't angry. He was disappointed, but not in me. He was mad at himself because he thought he had failed me. I remember that night so clearly. There was blood on my hands, soaked in my shirt and Bruce, Batman, came over, held out his arms, and hugged me. I started crying, and I remembered grabbing on to his cape so tightly because I thought if I let go, it would all break. He would throw me against the alley wall and walk away, wishing he never laid eyes on me. But he didn't, Dick! I thought I knew him before. I didn't. I was an idiot, not him. He might not be my father, but he was a good fucking man, and I respect him for that! I owe him that much," Jason finished bitterly. He glared at Dick, an expression Dick had not yet seen, not to this degree.
"I'm sorry," Dick said. He let go of Jason's hand, feeling the anger and bitterness rolling off of him. Dick tucked his hands between his thighs, looking down at his lap and squeezing his eyes shut. A horrible, sickening feeling filled his chest. Jason's glare seared into his closed eyelids. Dick felt like throwing up.
Bright lights.
Falling, falling, crumpled on the ground, unmoving.
Running forward, not fast enough.
That horrible, sickening feeling.
"I'm sorry," he choked out, not even sure who he was apologizing to. His head swam, he felt dizzy. Dick opened his eyes only to find that they were blurry with tears. What the fuck?
"Dick? Are you- Are you crying?" Jason asked, his voice cutting through Dick's nausea. "Why the fuck are you crying?"
"Wh-What?" Dick wiped as his tears, frowning slightly. "I don't- I don't know," he lied. The same horrible, sickening feeling welled up again. Dick had never lied before. He had no reason to. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."
But Dick knew exactly what came over him. It came hand in hand with the fluttery, fluffy feelings. Dick should have known sooner. It was so obvious, it was.
Death had, in the end, thwarted his sister's plan of revenge. Love made her brother fall in love, knowing fully well that Clark would die in the end. And die he did, but Life brought him back. So Love's plot for revenge had failed. And now, she had another chance, she did. It was not directly on Death himself, but on Dick. Dick knew he had been falling in love, so hard, with Jason. How else could it have worked out so well?
Dick knew what that meant. He was not going to have a happily ever after with Jason. No, he was going to end up failing Jason because he was stupidly human and had no means to stop whatever was going to happen.
Dick gritted his teeth together in anger. It was all his fault. Jason was probably going to end up getting hurt really bad, or even worse, dead. Dick felt like throwing up at that.
Sure, Dick had never been particular about death. Again, he grew up with it happening all around him. But to think that Jason could die soon, really soon? Dick already knew that it would crush him. It would destroy him if Jason died. Then, Dick would be entirely useless to Death.
So in the end, Love wins.
Dick laughed bitterly at that. How ironic?
"Dick, what's wrong?" Jason asked, a touch of urgency in his voice. He was worried.
Dick smiled. "Nothing," he said. Should he tell Jason? What if Jason blamed him for subjecting him to such a fate. Dick felt his stomach flip as he made the choice to stay silent, to shut up, and do his utmost to protect Jason until he left. Only three days.
"You sure?" Jason asked cautiously.
Dick nodded. "Yep! Everything's fine!" Why did lying come so easily to him? He had never lied before!
Jason gave him another look. Then, he held out his hand, waiting. Dick stared at it for a few moments. Jason shook his hand a little, staring pointedly at Dick. Dick took a shaky breath then slid his hand into Jason's, closing his eyes for a moment when their skin touched.
Dick felt horrible. He felt like he was physically poisoning Jason with his every touch, like he was killing Jason himself, and Jason did not even know it. But he still kept his hand in Jason's.
"You owe me a secret, don't you?" Jason asked, his voice a light tease.
Dick opened his eyes, glad they did not water. "I do," he said.
"Well?"
You're going to die, and it's going to be my fault. Dick did not say that. He could not say that. Saying that would mean that Love won already. He kept his mouth stubbornly shut. But he could play Love's game, he could. Dick was going to prove a worthy adversary. "Jason... I love you."
Jason was silent. "You... what?"
"I love you."
Dick waited and waited for a response, but Jason did not say anything. Ah, so that's what Love was playing at.
"It's okay," Dick said slowly. "I understand if you don't feel the same. I don't expect you to." He really did not. Love was his aunt. He knew her as well as anyone knew her. She was a cruel bitch as much as she was generous. Apparently Dick's relations to Death made him the enemy now. "But that wasn't much of a secret, was that? Did it count? Hm, I'll tell you something else then." He swallowed hard. "I don't want to leave. Earth, that is. I want to stay here. I like it here."
"Then- Then why do you have to leave?"
"Death said I had to."
"You're twenty-five, Dick. You're an adult. You can do what you want."
"Guess I could," Dick mused. "But no," he sighed. "I don't think I was meant to be on Earth."
"What's that supposed to mean? You were born here, weren't you? If you weren't meant to be on Earth, you wouldn't have been born here."
"Well, Death doesn't exactly sire children, Jay," Dick pointed out. "Besides, Fate doesn't have control over her siblings. They make their own choices. So Death's choice to bring me here was not Fate's work."
"So you think you weren't meant to be here right now?"
"Truthfully?"
"No, I want you to lie to me, Dick," Jason's sarcastic reply was refreshing.
Dick gave a wry laugh. "No, I don't think I'm supposed to be here. Which is why I plan on making the absolute most of it, since I don't think I'll get another chance."
Jason took in a sharp breath. "Dickie..."
"Don't worry, I've accepted that."
"How much longer do you have?" Jason asked softly.
Dick shrugged. Three days. "Dunno."
Tim had gone off on his own. Jason and Dick stuck together.
They spoke sparingly, the atmosphere of that night's patrol a lot heavier than the previous. They had diverted a hit-and-run and caught a couple drug dealers. Dick took a heavy metal wrench to the wrist, which was now throbbing continuously, but Dick did not mention it.
Then, two robbers ran past a group of girls after a late night, grabbing their purses and running off in opposite directions.
"Go after that one!" Jason barked, taking off after the other one. Dick did not hesitate, changing path and running after the first robber. Dick followed him through a couple alleyways, a few twists and turns and finally caught up to him, tripping him with some wire.
Dick made quick work of tying him up, gathering up the two purses and returning them to the terrified girls. Jason had yet to come back. Dick went back to where he had left the other robber. But as he passed an alleyway, he heard a muffled scream, and he stopped.
Two shapes deep in the darkness, making muffled sounds, some curses, some crying. Dick ran forward, grabbing the rapist off the girl. She collapsed, crying and breathing hard. The rapist growled at Dick, grabbing him and throwing him into the wall.
It jarred Dick, but he was not about to let the man continue his sick acts. Dick grabbed the man's leg and slammed his elbow into the man's kneecap, as hard as he could. Dick was strong, he knew, but he was not exactly expecting the crack he heard.
The girl screamed. The man toppled forward, his hand in his coat. He pulled out something, metal flashing and Dick moved his head out of the way just as the knife came towards his face. Dick grabbed his hand and twisted it, the knife clattering to the ground.
Running footsteps, and Dick looked up to see Jason running towards him, Tim not far behind him.
"Nightwing," Jason growled. "Get the girl out of here."
Dick's mouth nearly dropped open. He was in the middle of fending off this rapist, and Jason asked him to 'get the girl out of here'?
Dick tried to stand up, but the man pulls out a gun, shooting twice. Dick ducked, hearing the clinks of the bullets bouncing off the bricks above his head. Jason rushed forward, pulling the man to his feet, snatching the gun out of his hand. He punched the man in the face, definitely breaking his nose.
Tim comes up behind the man, hooking his arm around the man's neck. The man bites down on his arm, and Tim cried out, stumbling back. Dick's ears were still ringing from the shots, but he manages to stick his leg out and the man trips over it, landing on his back.
"Nightwing!" Jason yelled. "I said-"
"I know," Dick snapped. "I heard!" He gets to his feet, hurrying over to the girl, who was on her knees, sobbing, her clothes askew and wrinkled. "Hey, hey, we're here to help, okay? You're going to be okay," he said in his most soothing voice, gently putt his hands on her shoulders
There was a loud cry behind him.
A gunshot rang out, and Dick crashed to the floor hard. He landed on his back, the breath knocked out of him. Jason lay on top of him, breathing hard. Another gunshot, and Tim's loud, "NO!"
Then, silence. Jason scrambled off of Dick, and Dick sat up, his head throbbing.
The three of them looked at the scene in front of them silently.
The girl stared off into the distance, her eyes blank and empty, blood gushing from her chest and soaking her pink shirt. The rapist lay on the ground, blood pooling around his head, the gun still in his slack hand.
"Fuck," Jason breathed. "No, no, no." He got to his feet. Then, he kicked the gun, hard. It went skidding, disappearing under a Dumpster.
Tim slumped against the wall, looking like all the energy had been drained from him just like that. "They're dead," he said.
Dick just stared, his eyes flitting between the two dead bodies, then Tim and Jason. He did not know what to make of it.
Half an hour later, back in the cave, Jason pulled the helmet off his head, throwing it across the cave. His eyes were furious, his mouth pulled in a deep frown. Tim looked equally miserable, but not angry. He sat silently in a chair, his arm draped over his eyes.
Jason paced the room angrily, and Dick watched silently, leaning against the metal stairs.
"It's not your fault, Jay," Dick said gently. "I told you before, if they were meant to die, there would be nothing you could do to stop it."
Jason growled at him. "They weren't meant to die, Dick! It would have been so easy to save both of them!"
"Jason..."
"No! They didn't have to die! Don't you understand? They could still be alive, Dick!"
Dick frowned. "But they're not. So you don't have to keep being so upset."
"I could have saved them."
"No, you couldn't because they're dead," Dick pointed out yet again. "They were meant to die. You would have saved them if they were meant to live."
Jason laughed bitterly. "You say it's not my fault, but your words make it sound very much like I should have saved them, but I was too stupidly slow or something," he spat.
"I didn't say that."
"You implied it."
"No, I didn't," Dick said, his eyebrows furrowing. "I'm just saying you couldn't have saved them."
"Because I saved you instead," Jason finally said. "Because I pushed you out of the way instead of her."
A loud ringing silence filled the cave after he said those words. Even Tim looked up, removing his arm and his eyes flitting between Jason and Dick.
Dick swallowed. "Okay," he said softly. "You're right," he said. "Maybe you should have saved her instead." He turned and started heading up the stairs.
