SERIES: Everything went downhill from there
PART TWO: IN A NEW YORK MINUTE
Previously:Vladimir called his contacts and they all denied knowledge about the nuclear rods, he made Sergei Bezhaev (captain of The Red Square) angry. When he refused to continue cooperating, Renee got furious and admitted not being into him. He slapped her and then she lost her mind and killed him, stabbing him several times. Then she stabbed Jack once, not realizing it was him. But he recovered quickly and killed the remaining Russians. After her nervous breakdown, Renee admitted she wanted to succeed in the mission because it was all she had left. Jack told her she still had him and asked her to let her take her home. She agreed. He also told her to pledge self-defense when they ask her about Vladimir. Then they heard a CTU team arriving.
Disclaimer: The show is not mine. Neither are the characters. They belong to Howard Gordon and FOX… Damn it!
CHAPTER 7:
MISTAKES WERE MADE (part one)
"And certainly it was not wrong to try to secure freedom for our citizens held in barbaric captivity. But we did not achieve what we wished, and serious mistakes were made in trying to do so" US. President Ronald Reagan. January 27, 1987 (about contacts with Iran that ended in the arms-for-hostages scandal).
May 20th - YEAR 2018
10:54:42 PM – Vladimir's warehouse
When Renee Abigail Walker was twelve years old her temper nearly got her in trouble. Pete Patman kept making fun of her, so she hit him and broke his nose. They were about to expel her from the school over that. But Captain Walker interfered for his daughter, who got away with it pretty easily.
At the age of thirty nine Renee was aware her screw ups as an adult were much bigger and had terrible consequences. Someone was dead and she deserved a severe punishment because of that. Jack had told her to pledge self-defense, but that wasn't right. It didn't feel right. She had done something horrible and wanted to take responsibility for her own actions, like an adult.
Her thoughts were interrupted when suddenly Jack came back to the inner office. He hastily moved Lugo's body and shut the door as he explained, practically running out of breath, "They're Russian. Vladimir must have contacted whoever's got the rods. Just didn't want him to know".
Renee was perplexed. Of course Vladimir had contacted the person with the rods. She had realized as much and had fought him over that right before going insane. If she had been thinking clearly, she would have realized the people with the nukes would come after Vladimir. How could she be so stupid? She was still trying to overcome her astonishment, but Jack gave her his earpiece. It looked like he already had a plan in mind. But she had no idea what it could possibly be. "What are you doing?"
"I need to let them take me" he explained as he went to the bathroom and checked the windows.
'Plan' was clearly a very strong word for what Jack had in mind. Nearly panicking, she urged him "No. We have to get out of here."
Jack closed the bathroom door and then, as he looked at her in her scared eyes, he made his point whispering fast "You want everything you've done so far to matter? I need to do this. When CTU gets here, you tell them to start tracking me from the air. These people are gonna lead us to everything we're looking for."
"They will kill you" Renee argued trying to sound firm despite being terrified; she could hardly stand the mere idea. Naturally, she wanted what she had done to matter. But she cared about Jack way more.
"No. At worst, they're going to have to vet me, find out how much I know. It should buy us enough time." Jack alleged with a hell lot of confidence.
'Vet him'? That certainly didn't make her feel better. But she felt like a lost and scared six year old. She had no idea what to do or where to go. On the other hand, Jack was so sure of what he was doing. She had to do as he said. Whenever she didn't listen to him, everything turned into a huge disaster. So she let him lead. He practically pushed her inside a closet to hide her there. Then he gave her his gun saying "If this door opens again, you start shooting." Without another word, he closed the door and went to surrender himself to the Russians.
Renee could hardly breathe. Her entire body was trembling like jelly and she could barely remain standing. From inside the closet, she helplessly overheard Jack trying to convince the Russians he just wanted to do business. His idea worked as he had expected. They were taking him to talk to their boss. But one of them stayed behind to check the bathroom, and he nearly spots her. She held her breath and readied her gun. Then the guy was urged to go with the others. Soon, they were all gone.
She loathed herself for being so weak and useless. A single tear rolled down her cheek. She could hardly stand the idea of Jack being in such danger. She had already stabbed him by accident, and luckily he had recovered quickly from that. But it terrified that now he could get much more badly hurt because of her. At least he was alive and CTU would track him from the air. They would find him soon. They had to.
A few minutes later, she heard Cole Ortiz's voice. She slowly emerged from the bathroom with her hands up as she announced "I'm here… Here"
"It's Renee, sir. She's alive." Cole informed Hastings over his earpiece. Then he asked her "Renee, where's Jack?"
She instantly had a really bad feeling. Wasn't Cole monitoring Jack? Yet, he seemed to have no idea something was even happening. She explained anxiously "The Russians took him. The ones that have the nuclear materials"
"How? We've been monitoring the building. No vehicles left this area." Cole said maintaining a calm demeanor, but he was really confused and alarmed. How the hell had he missed that?
"I don't... I don't know. They just suddenly appeared, but..." She startled babbling totally puzzled. Suddenly, she realized nobody was indeed monitoring Jack. She claimed getting nervous "Wait. Jack let himself be taken. He said that you'd be monitoring him from the air."
But Agent Ortiz just shook his head a little and bit his lip. Renee demanded nearly freaking out "Where is he?" Nobody was telling her anything, so she insisted desperately "Where is he?"
Then Cole admitted genuinely embarrassed "We don't know."
Renee stared at Cole not wanting to believe him. It couldn't be true. They had to know where he was. She repeated with her voice almost breaking "He said that you'd be monitoring him from the air"
She had trusted CTU would find Jack soon. But they didn't even know where he was. Jack's words came back to her like a punch on her stomach 'they are going to have to vet me'. What happened to him in China would happen to him all over again. But this time it was her fault. In a second, all air seemed to be sucked from her lungs and the ground under her feet began spinning fast.
Cole noticed all color had been drained from Renee's face and he rushed to hold her just as she fainted. "We need a medic here!" He shouted at his men. Then he gently placed her lying down in the couch as he tried to shake her to make her regain conscience "Agent Walker?"
Renee opened her eyes. She noticed she was in the red couch and felt horrified. It was the couch where Vladimir had taken her. Suddenly finding the strength she stood up but nearly loses her balance again.
"You need to lie down" Cole told her gently.
"I need to get out of here" she replied. The small office was suffocating her. He nodded and led her to the main garage, holding her in case she fell again. Her body was still shaking, but at least she could walk. She sat on a chair next to a table. Then she babbled to nobody in particular "everything I did… everything I did put Jack wherever he is now. I should have never let him go… why did I let him go?" What nobody there knew was that she was talking about so much more than just letting Jack be taken by the Russians.
The paramedic arrived, introduced himself and started examining Renee. Then another agent came and addressed Cole "sir, we found and underground exit"
"Damn it! That must be why we missed it" Cole concluded frustrated. Then he glanced at Renee feeling genuinely sorry for her. "Agent Walker, I have to check the evidence now"
"Please go…" Renee urged him with her hands still shaking. Cole nodded and then practically ran to check that underground exit with the other agents.
The paramedic then talked to her gently "well, it seems you fainted due stress. How are you feeling right now?"
Renee was not paying attention. All she had in her mind were horrible images of Jack being brutally beaten up and tortured. And once they were done 'vetting' him they would execute him. She didn't want to believe that was possible. That couldn't happen. They had to find him.
"Agent Walker, how are you feeling?" the paramedic insisted one more time.
Renee just stared at him, confused as if he were speaking Japanese. How was she feeling? That suddenly had become the toughest question in the entire word. Mostly, she felt full of regrets. If only she hadn't left Jack… If only she hadn't let him join her in this mission… If only she had his strength she would have handled things better. She needed Jack to wrap her in his arms. She simply replied whining like a little girl "I'm cold"
Somebody gave her a blue blanket. But she kept trembling and her left leg was uncontrollably kicking the floor as if it had a life of its own. All Renee could think was 'they have to find him' over and over again.
11:10 PM
Cole Ortiz was driving Renee back to CTU. She seemed slightly more composed. She was simply staring through the window into the lights of Manhattan. "So, are you feeling better?"
"Are you going to find Jack?" Renee questioned right back. Because whether she would ever feel better or not depended completely on Cole's answer to her question.
"We are using all we got to do just that" Cole assured her, trying to exude confidence.
"I have to fix this" She mumbled trying to think of something she could do. "I should have never let him get taken"
"You had to. You would have only made things worse if you had become also a hostage. Or they could have killed both of you right there. Besides, there was no way for you to know we wouldn't be able to track him" In the past two hours, Cole had seen Jack trying to protect Renee like a lion. So he knew Jack would want her to feel better. He added sincerely "Look, those calls are a very important lead you got. You did everything you could in an impossible situation. And, as I said, we are using everything at our disposal to find Jack."
Renee just looked through the window of the car again; she stared at the dark sky. She wished she could pray for Jack's safety. But she was such a monster, a murderer… dirty and poisoned. God wouldn't hear a word she said.
11:19:27 PM - CTU NYC headquarters
Brian Hastings felt furious. He couldn't believe Walker had just butchered their only lead to find the nuclear rods. He could have never foreseen such an outcome. Even though he had noticed there was something odd about her and Jack Bauer had warned him several times regarding the state of her mind. But he had looked the other way. In the past seven hours he had made so many mistakes. One of them had been leaving a crucial mission on the hands of a woman who turned out to be a mental case. He was so angry at himself. He couldn't fail. As head of CTU, in such a critical day, the weight of the word was on his shoulders. Nobody had any idea of the kind of pressure he had on him. However, a man in his position always had to appear calm and in control. So struggling to maintain a cold and professional demeanor, he went to meet Ortiz and Walker as they arrived to the building.
As Renee walked down the hallway to the main room, she felt she had a huge scarlet letter on her forehead. They all knew she was the lunatic who had murdered Vladimir, after sleeping with him for the mission like a whore. It was so humiliating. She felt close to tears again. But she had to stay focused on Jack's situation. So, trying to look as normal as she could, she approached Hastings. Ortiz informed the director that some men were still investigating the scene and left to work out the aerial sweep protocols with Arlo. Then Hastings looked at her with an arrogant smirk. Trying to mask her desperation, she asked "What are you doing to find Jack?"
"Everything we can, Ms. Walker. Come with me." He said as he began walking upstairs, still smirking. Only the people who truly knew him were aware that his cocky smile was an unconscious way to hide he felt nervous.
As she followed him, she asked too anxiously "Have you checked all the... the traffic cams, subway routes? You have all this technology working for you… comm surveillance, satellite tracking."
"We're using everything at our disposal." He cut her off, now frowning annoyed by her.
Renee was too worried about Jack to notice Hasting was actually pissed at her. So she protested "Then how come you haven't found him yet? Why don't you have any leads?"
Hastings turned around, struggling not to lose his temper, and snapped "The best lead we had is dead." Renee looked at him as if she had been slapped. Then he added more calmly "I know about your suicide attempt. You should have been honest with me. O'Brian will take your statement. I want to know every detail about every event leading up to the death of Vladimir Laitanan."
Renee felt like a six year old girl who had been yelled at loudly for accidentally breaking mommy's favorite crystal vase. She left quickly to the meeting room, where she had to give her briefing feeling dazed. She had realized already that everything was her fault. But Hastings's words were like a bucket of cold water snapping her back to the harsh reality of her extremely damaged self.
"When she's done, take her to medical. I've ordered a full psych evaluation." Hasting ordered Chloe.
"Yes, sir" Chloe muttered unhappily. She had been shooting darts at him with a disproving stare all along. As a woman, she sympathized with Renee's situation. It was low from Hastings to scold the poor woman like that right after everything that happened. Plus, there was enough blame to go around. Hasting had been the one who trusted Renee with the mission even though Jack had repeatedly told him not to.
She entered the meeting room and saw Renee looking haunted by her own thoughts. For the data analyst, it was truly awkward having to debrief her best friend's ex girlfriend who had been raped and then gone crazy in a murdering rage. No protocol manual explained how to properly handle such a situation. And dealing with people had never been truly her thing, even under the most mundane circumstances. She left an electronic pad and stylus over the table as she gently explained "Uh, you can write your statement her".
Then Renee slowly took a seat feeling like she was drowning. Barely managing to keep her voice from breaking, she stated "Hastings blames me for what happened to Jack. And he's right."
"No, he's not. He shouldn't have said that." Chloe told her firmly. As the person who had originally begged Jack to stay in New York when all he wanted was to move to California and be happy, she felt she had a share of guilt as well. Too many things had gone wrong during the last few hours, putting Jack in the horrible situation he was at the moment. So it wasn't fair to blame everything solely on Renee.
"The only reason that Jack was even part of this operation was because of me." Renee sadly reminded the other woman. The list of things she should have done differently was long enough to fill an entire encyclopedia. Then she added horrified "So whatever they're doing to him right now, it's because of me". But she couldn't fall apart. She had to be tough and fix her own mess. She had gotten Jack in trouble, so now she had to save him. She looked at the data analyst and announced "I have to find him, Chloe".
Except Chloe knew there was no way Renee would be able to do that. They already had the entire CTU working on finding Jack. And Renee in her current state of mind wouldn't be able, or allowed, to even try helping. The former FBI agent had her hands tied. And Chloe herself was feeling helpless and terrified over not being able to find Jack either. But trying to stay strong, she reasoned "Renee, I know how you must feel. Just... just take one thing at a time. We have to deal with what you did. So write your statement. I'll check back with you."
Then Chloe left quickly, feeling suddenly troubled. She wanted desperately to find Jack too but it seemed so impossible. They were trying hard with everything they had and he remained missing. All she could do for her best friend was do her job in the best possible way.
Renee stared at the electronic pad feeling so pathetic. Yet another tear rolled down her cheek. How would writing the statement help Jack at all? But it was the only thing she could do. She was obligated to outline in writing the road that had led them to where they were now.
"On May 20th around 7.30 PM I was contacted by Dana Walsh…." She summarized briefly but truthfully how and why she had winded up going undercover again. She omitted only the part where she had been about to leave the country just before that. That would make it seem as if she were blaming others for dragging her to a mission against her will, when actually she had chosen to be a part of it. Then she described the basics of how she had gotten to Vladimir. Then she explained about the failed phone calls and how he stopped cooperating. She ultimately admitted "Laitanan decided not to seek the rods anymore. But he believed Renee Zadan had a romantic interest in him and turned violent against her after realizing he was mistaken."
At that point she got stuck. Her hands were shaking as she stared the electronic path. She had no clear recollections of what had actually happened. She remembered Vladimir smacking her, making her fall. But her next memory was Jack right in front of her with his abdomen wounded by her knife, while Vladimir lied dead with his right eye butchered and several stab wounds on his torso. None of that made sense to Renee. How could she have done such a thing? She covered her face with both hands as she sobbed bitterly.
11:25 PM
Chloe went back to the meeting room and saw Renee crying. Feeling extremely uncomfortable, she mumbled "um, sorry… I need to go over your statement with you"
Renee startled for a moment after realizing she was not alone. Embarrassed, she brushed off her tears, and asked anxiously "did you find Jack?" Chloe shook her head sadly. Swallowing hard to prevent more crying, Renee simply handed the notepad back to Chloe explaining "I couldn't finish it yet".
Chloe took a seat and read what Renee had written so far, and then commented "So, when you say Vladimir turned violent… you mean he hit you"
"Yeah…" Renee replied instinctively touching her bruised cheek.
"So, he attacked you first, he hit you… and tried to strangle you" Chloe stated noticing the marks on Renee's neck. She knew pledging self-defense was Renee's only way out. The former FBI agent didn't deserve to go to prison over killing a monster like Vladimir. Besides, Renee was somebody Jack still cared about deeply. That was reason enough for Chloe to guide the other woman a little bit to say what was more convenient. "You had no other choice but to defend yourself… is that what you are saying happened?"
Renee could see what Chloe was trying to do. But it didn't feel right. She admitted softly and lowering her head "I don't… I don't actually remember what happened, not really…. Chloe, I can't do this…"
"You have to" Chloe interrupted a bit brusquely. Then, making sure nobody else was listening, she told her "I know you are upset. But right now Jack needs you to think straight and do this right" What Jack didn't need was his girlfriend, especial friend, or whatever Renee was, to go to prison. Chloe knew as much. "Look, we'll find Jack. And if he hears you are still in trouble, he is gonna be pretty damn pissed".
Renee nodded and sighed. Jack had told her to pledge self-defense. It was what he wanted. And she had told him she would do it. Then she looked at Jack's most loyal ally and told her honestly "I swear I never ever wanted to hurt, Jack. I never wanted him to get dragged into any of this"
"Nobody could ever 'drag' Jack into anything." Chloe corrected Renee quickly and then added, "Yes, he became part of this operation to protect you. But that wasn't your fault. Okay? It was his choice. He needed to do that".
Renee shook her head feeling that sadly, she didn't deserve Jack's protection. She sighed "He's been trying to protect me since he saw me again two months ago… I don't understand why"
The data analyst wrinkled her nose uncomfortably and then explained "You know? His wife was murdered by a woman he trusted blindly. His closest friends died for knowing he was alive. His daughter almost died several times. Not to mention Audrey Raines. The thing is, Jack spends every day dreading that once again something horrible will happen to someone he cares about because of him. So when he saw you were in danger… he just had to make sure you'd be fine, that it wouldn't happen again"
As she listened to Chloe, a tear rolled from Renee's eye down her cheek. Then she instinctively looked at the scars on her wrists, realizing Jack had blamed himself for how damaged she was since the very beginning of her downfall. Then she stared at Chloe in the eyes feeling helpless "I don't know what I can do for him"
Chloe noticed those scars on the wrists, but she had heard about that already. Definitely giving advice wasn't her thing. She bit her lip, and then said "well, Jack thinks he's cursed. If I were you, I'd do my best to prove him wrong. Pull yourself together. Find a way to forgive yourself and get past this…" She said handing the notepad back to Renee. And then she added "I'm sorry. I should get back to work now".
Renee nodded as she watched Chloe leave quickly and uncomfortably. Then she went back to her statement. But now her mind was somewhat made up. She would do what Jack wanted her to do.
"He believed Renee Zadan had a romantic interest in him and turned violent against her after realizing he was mistaken." To that she added "She hit me twice on my face, making me fall down" She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and thought about Jack and how nice he had been to her in her darkest moment. Then she wrote "and he tried to strangle me. But I picked a knife from the floor and stabbed him".
Then she kept writing about Jack having to kill Lugo and the other henchman in self defense, and how a few minutes later the Russians who truly had the rods arrived and Jack hid her in the closet and let himself be taken maintaining his cover as a German arm dealer. 'They are going to have to vet me'. Those words haunted her again and the most terrifying images kept popping to her head sending chills through her spine. She pictured Jack tied up to a chair, getting beaten up, receiving electric shocks. And then she thought of that fresh stab wound he had on this abdomen because of her. The Russians could use it to easily inflict him pain.
Renee felt a sudden wave of nausea and rushed to the nearest bathroom. She kneeled in front of the toilet. But her last meal had been a cheese burger she had at the airport around five hours before. She coughed a few times, but there was nothing for her to vomit. So she just sat folded on the bathroom floor resting her head on her knees. She tried to calm herself. She had read Jack's file. He had survived the impossible. He could do it again.
Then, for some strange reason, it came to her head the image of Captain John Walker wearing his impeccable uniform, right before leaving to the Persian Gulf and reminding her that 'a Captain's daughter never cries'. She closed her eyes trying not to cry. 'Oh, daddy… I have really messed up. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I'm nothing like you wanted me to be. But I need your help now. Daddy, please… ask God to save Jack.'
11:39 PM
She was, again, sitting uselessly in the meeting room. Somebody had offered her something to eat and she had declined. She wasn't hungry. She felt too sick to eat anything. Yet, she accepted some coffee. As if she weren't such a nervous wreck already. But she needed something pleasantly familiar to hold on to. Suddenly, she heard a bit of a commotion outside. A bunch of field agents were rushing to a different room. She followed them, as a security guard followed her. She saw the agents charging their weapons and getting they bullet proof vest ready. It was obvious it was a tactical team getting prepared. She could overhear them talking.
"And Bauer said how many hostiles are in site?"
"No, I was just told we'll need to bring one he has in custody"
Her heart skipped a bit. Had they really found Jack? And he had somebody in custody? She tried to remain cautiously optimist as she practically run all the way downstairs to find her only reliable source of information inside CTU. Once downstairs, trying to be hopeful without tempting fate by celebrating before knowing the facts for sure, she asked Chloe "Is it true? You found Jack?"
"Yeah. He's okay." Chloe replied a bit anxiously.
Renee sighed in massive relief. That was all she needed to hear.
"If you're finished with your statement, I need to take you to medical." Chloe added.
"No. No. I want to be here when Jack gets back." Renee couldn't wait to see him, and she was even more anxious to hear the sound of his voice.
"I'll let him know where to find you. Come on." Chloe said gently.
Renee followed her frustrated. She knew she should better behave. And if she had to wait to see Jack, she could very well wait in medical.
11:57 PM
The shrink had tried to get as much information she could from her. But Renee had acted as she always did in such situations. She had gotten defensive and avoided giving to much information. So the doctor couldn't get much of her. However, the doctor managed to make a tentative diagnosis using those four letters Renee despised: PTSD.
Then Renee was finally allowed to change clothes and clean up. Her backpack was returned to her. She didn't have much in there, but fortunately she had packed a t-shirt and some dark blue jeans. The t-shirt was simple, boat-next cut, ¾ long sleeves and a nice shade of pink. Then she combed her hair up in a simple but neat pony tail. After that, she washed her face and decided to leave it without make up. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was starting to look more like Renee Abigail Walker. She still had that red bruise on her left cheek though. And when she looked closely to the upper part of her neck, close to her left ear she could see them: small teeth marks. A reminder of something Vladimir liked to do during sex. But they would fade.
When you are bitten by a snake you don't remain poisoned forever. You either die or get cured. But for the moment she couldn't tell whether what happened during her moment of insanity had killed her soul or gotten rid of the poison she'd carried inside it for far too long.
After washing her face once again she watched carefully at the clock in the wall. And the last seconds of the day ticked away… 11:59:50… 11:59:51 …11:59:52 … 11:59:53 … 11:59:54… 11:59:55… 11:59:56… 11:59:57… 11:59:58… 11:59:59… 00:00:00 AM
There it was. The official end of what will forever be known as the day she murdered Vladimir Laitanan. Thankfully, a new day had just started.
May 21st - 12:06:02 AM
Finally, mercifully, she got a call from Jack. She could hardly believe it. She was so eager to hear his voice. She wanted to know he was truly ok.
"How are you?" He asked concerned. As much as the last hour had truly sucked for him, he hated so much knowing Renee had been forced to deal with the aftermath of her own Russian ordeal without him.
Renee was pleased to hear that soft and velvety voice she adored. But it made her slightly upset that he was worried about her. He was the one who had been stabbed, then 'vetted' and nearly killed. Why the hell mattered how she was? She responded "Uh, fine, I'm fine. What about you?"
Jack knew what she actually wanted to know. However, to be honest he would have to admit he had been through moments of agonizing physical pain even though he was fine now. He had recovered quite quickly. After twenty months under Chinese custody, he could handle being hurt physically. But he couldn't stand the pain of someone he loved. He thought it would be much better for Renee if she remained in the dark about what had happened to him. Therefore, he gave her a non-answer "We had a line on the fuel rods. We lost it."
'Damn it!' Renee thought to herself and bit her lip. She then asked resigned "So what's the plan now?"
"It's Hastings' call. I'm bringing the prisoner back to CTU, then I'm out" Jack replied. His job was truly done now. He had even arrested the captain of the Red Square. That was plenty. He'd let the actual CTU agents find those rods now. But he couldn't truly relax and celebrate being done with CTU unless Renee was done as well. He asked "They ask you about what happened, about Vladimir?"
"Uh, yes, Chloe did." She answered sounding way more nervous than she had intended.
"Chloe did the debrief?" Jack asked in disbelief. That sounded far too good to be true.
"Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't... I wouldn't really call it a debrief. We talked, uh, mostly, and, uh, then I wrote a statement." She explained feeling extremely awkward about the fact that she and Chloe had actually talked about him. That hardly qualified as a real debrief.
"And you explained how you acted in self-defense?" Jack asked, completely missing her tone and focused only in what he truly cared about: knowing whether she was off the hook or not.
"Yes, like we agreed." She replied quickly.
Her tone clearly indicated she had done it for him and Jack could sense that. So he quickly corrected her "That's how it happened. Renee, you've got to stick with that."
"Yeah, yes, I'm gonna try." She told him honestly. She would do whatever he asked her to.
But he wanted her to feel truly free of guilt. She shouldn't spend another second in distress over that Russian monster that had broken her to the point of driving her insane for a moment. Seeing Renee losing her mind had truly scared him but he was greatly relieved it had lasted only a moment. Jack believed Vladimir had tortured Renee in a certain way and she had defended herself from ending up just like Audrey. So he honestly told her what he thought "I know this is hard for you, but you did nothing wrong, and you need to start believing that. Okay?"
She could tell how important this was for him. So she exhaled, whispering what he wanted to hear… "Okay"
Then she wondered what she meant to him now. He had said she had him, and that he was where she had left him. But that could mean a lot of things. Maybe it meant he would always be there for her because he cared about her like a loyal friend. It could also mean that he still felt about her like he used to feel. But that was wishful and crazy thinking from her part. How could Jack possibly still want her in that way? She had to set things straight with him and go back to reality for good. "Jack, I don't... I don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it, 'cause I need to make sure that I'm not misunderstanding, but… when you say that I 'have you'..."
Jack saw that dreadful question coming…'What did it mean?' He wasn't ready to explain his feelings clearly out loud. Admitting how much he cared about her was still extremely tough and scary for him even if he did so vaguely or in non verbal ways. Before she could even ask, he rushed to non-answer saying "I meant it like it sounded."
A tiny hint of a smile barely curbed her lips and she looked down. It was really like Jack to be so non-specific like that. But his actions and the way he still cared about her gave her the real answer. Sadly, things weren't as simple as that. She asked "So now what do we do?"
"We'll figure it out… we both jumped from the same boat, remember?" Jack repeated what he had told her that day they both admitted being unsure about the future.
Renee remembered, that day she had basically agreed to swim to the shore with him. But things seemed so different now. She sighed. "Except this time I jumped from a cliff and I pushed you"
"Then let's hold hands on our way down" Those words came out from his mouth from his heart naturally in a soft whisper. He was trying not to get too carried away by his feelings, but he just couldn't control himself.
"Okay." She replied with that tiny smile about to curb her lips again. But then she added somberly "I have something important to tell you Jack, but I can't over the phone"
"That's okay. We can talk about it when I get there, in about 15 minutes. Bye".
After they hung up, with the smallest hint of a smile, Renee took her cell phone and put it over her chest as if that could bring Jack closer to her. There were some mistakes she had made and could never correct. But one of the biggest mistakes she had ever made was running away from Jack. If he was willing to give her a second chance, she wouldn't mess it up again. She had decided to tell him the whole truth about why she had left and admit that lying to him had been a huge mistake. She could only hope with all her heart that he would forgive her.
TO BE CONTINUED…
(Please, tell me what you think)
Next: Is still all about mistakes. The mole at the CTU has made several, we learn who is she working for and why. A double agent with a secret agenda realizes he has screwed up as well. The White House Chief of Staff wants Renee Walker to take the fall for the mistakes made while handling the crisis in the past few hours. A female shark from the justice department is sent to hunt Renee.
