TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY
Chapter 7: Declan
Dreaming: A state of mind where your imagination goes wild. Crushing: When you like someone so much that they seem inaccessible. Declan, don't be on the edge of your seat anymore. You didn't do anything really. My foolish heart was to blame. However, my foolish heart had a crush on you.
She sounded so calm compared to the last five tapes.
I really don't know why I fantasized about you. Maybe I was just caught in my romantic vampire books. I know this might creep you out, but you have to know so I don't feel so trapped inside my own mind. Sometimes when I was around you, my hands would shake and my heart was racing. Remember when I "found" you sweatshirt? Well, the truth is that I actually took it. I was stupid, I'll admit. I was scared to mess up or trip in front of you. And when I wasn't embarrassing myself in front of you, I was dreaming of you. I wanted you, but I couldn't have you and I knew that. I was silly and immature. I used my writing skills to write romantic tales of you and me. It's so embarrassing to look back on it now! I was a fool. I posted my stories online for the world to see. The world which includes Holly J and you. And after I kissed you, you figured it out. I blew it. Sometimes embarrassment can bring you down to a point where you realize that there is no reason to live. Your girlfriend told me not to worry and I reassured her I was alright, but really inside I was dying. You guys said that you would forget about it, but really it's impossible to actually forget it. Don't you remember what happened? If you still do then truly you didn't forget. And if you couldn't forget then I definitely wouldn't have forgot it. This memory of embarrassment stays with me forever and I don't think I can deal with it lingering on in my head…in my dreams.
A/N: Sorry it's so short.
