A/N: YAY! Faster update than normal! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


"I stare at my reflection in the mirror:
"Why am I doing this to myself?"
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf." 'Who you are'- Jessie J

*Kendall's POV

Something's up I thought to myself. This afternoon Lucy came in needing to talk to Logan about something, and then she stormed right out without saying anything. Logan's been acting really weird lately. He's always down at the gym and he's always spending time with Lucy when he's there. Am I missing something? Maybe he's dating her. No, he's in love with Camille. He wouldn't go after Lucy… would he? I'm standing in front of his and Carlos' room wondering if I should go in or not.

"Are you going to talk to him?" I hear from behind me.

I spin around to see Katie standing there.

"I-I don't know, why?"

"You've been standing there for like five minutes. Is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure. Has he said anything to you, you know about the whole Camille thing?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I did see them in the park though, yesterday afternoon."

"Well what happened?"

"I don't know. I looked over and saw them talking, then Logan started yelling about something and then he left. After that Camille just kind of sat there, I think she started to cry too."

"Wow, of all people, I never thought Logan would make a girl cry." I said.

"I did what?" I heard from behind me.

I turned around again to see Logan standing there looking at me and Katie like we were nuts.

"Oh hey," I said. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? Like shit." He chuckled. I thought it was weird that he laughed about being in pain.

"Why are you laughing? Being sick isn't normally something that you laugh about."

"I was just being sarcastic. Calm down dude, I'm going to go for a walk." He said pushing past me and Katie.

"But you're sick-." She tried.

"It's just a walk Katie; I'll be back in an hour." He snapped as he walked out the front door.

I looked down at my baby sister to see the surprised and slightly hurt look on her face. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and held her close to me and wondered what just happened.

What's wrong with Logan?


*Logan's POV

I feel bad for being so mean to Katie, but I needed to get out of the house so I could go down to the gym. I don't care anymore if I'm sick or not. I won't stop until I get Camille back. When I got into the gym, the first thing I did was get on the treadmill. I turned it up just high enough so I could still run without feeling like I was going to get sick.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lucy yelled at me. I hadn't seen her come in and she looked extremely peeved.

"Jogging… what does it look like I'm doing?"

"You're sick!"

"Yeah, I know that… is there a point to this conversation or…?" I trailed off; turning off the machine I was on. I didn't understand why she was yelling at me. It's not like I committed a crime.

"Go home Logan! You should be in bed; you're not going to get any better if you don't get some rest."

"I don't want to go home! Can't you see that?" I yelled back at her. "I can't go into a room without Kendall breathing down my neck and staring at me or having someone asking me every five minutes if 'I'm okay'. I hate feeling like I'm some charity case just because I got dumped! I don't need anyone's pity. I'm not broken, I don't need fixing!"

Neither one of us said anything for a while after that. We just stood there staring at each other.

"You know, if I had known you were going to turn into a total jackass, I wouldn't have bothered in the first place." She said breaking the silence that hung in the air like a thick fog.

"Okay did you come down here just to yell at me 'cause-."

"No!" She snapped. "I came down here to blow off some steam 'cause I was mad about what happened earlier. I didn't even know you were here."

"Whatever, I'm going home." I said walking out the gym door.

"But you just said-." I didn't want to hear what she had to say.

"Just forget it." I said loudly. I picked up my pace and began to run back to the apartment in fear that Lucy would chase after me. Once I got there, I shut the door behind me and leaned up against it and shut my eyes. Why did it seem like everyone was slowly beginning to hate me.

"Hey." Someone said from the kitchen.

I opened my eyes to see James standing in the kitchen going through the refrigerator.

"Oh, hey James." I muttered.

"Mama Knight and Katie went out shopping, so were in charge of dinner. Is there anything you want?" he asked.

"No, I'm not hungry. Just order a pizza or something."

"You sound kind of pissed. Are you okay?"

"Oh you know, just fan-freaking-tastic." I told him as walked into my room and shut the door. I quickly went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror.

I looked absolutely horrible. No wonder everyone was starting to hate me. No one would want be seen walking around with such a fat ass like me. I couldn't take it anymore, something had to change.

I got down on my knees and placed myself in front of the small toilet. Did I really want to do this? Was it worth it? If it meant getting Camille back and looking good again then I'd do anything. I brought my hand up to my mouth and blinked back the angry tears that had formed out of nowhere.

After a minute of trying, I finally got my fingers back far that I gagged; spewing out the small breakfast I had had this morning before work. I coughed a little and wiped my mouth. I felt disgusting. I stood up and ran the tap water then scooped some up in my hands to rinse my mouth out with.

I heard someone knock on the door and felt my blood run cold with fear.

"Hey, Logan," Carlos said from other side of the door. "Our pizza we ordered is here, are you going to come eat with us?"

"Uh, yeah, I'll be out in a minute. You guys can start without me." I called out to him. Afterwards I looked up and took a long look in the mirror.

What have I done?


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~B