Hello everybody, and welcome to the final chapter of The Second Date. Although perhaps I should say, final 'full' chapter, as there will be a short Epilogue following this one. But regardless, this is the one you've all been waiting for. So… enjoy. Also, Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney.

The Second Date: Chapter 7.

Faith…

The unshakable belief in someone or something bigger than oneself.

In her travels throughout the galaxy, Sylvia had met many beings who had chosen to put their faith in one thing or another. Some chose to put their trust in a higher power. Others in luck. While still others based their entire belief systems solely on the ideal of Universal Kindness.

Naturally, she had never really put much stock into any of that stuff; preferring to trust her own instincts instead of chance or mythical deities. But on the day she met Wander, everything changed.

During that one, seemingly random encounter, Sylvia witnessed something that defied comprehension. Something that altered her entire outlook on life. What exactly it was is not important, and even if it was it is not my place to say; for an exact account I suggest you ask the blue Zbornak herself. All that matters is that on that day, Sylvia finally found something she could believe in, and that something was, you guessed it, Wander.

Granted, this faith was not so unshakable. Wander was constantly testing the limits of her trust in him with his seemingly nonsensical and ludicrous plans. For example, mere moments ago, the orange nomad had, point-blank, asked one of the most dangerous psychopaths in the universe to be his girlfriend. And even more alarming, it looked like she was going to say Yes.

Needless to say, Sylvia found this whole situation rather distressing. In fact, every single cell in her body was screaming at her to go over there and put an end to this madness. But alas, she could not. For she had given Wander her word that no matter what she saw, no matter what she heard, she would not interfere. So for the moment, all she could do was stand there silently, and hope to the great and merciful Grop that her furry little friend knew what he was doing.

This was to be her ultimate test of faith.

"When you get right down to it, it's just a matter of logic really." Said Wander in a way that made him sound like a stereotypical used car salesman; unknowingly bringing the blue Zbornak back to reality. "I mean, it's obvious we're both attracted to each other, and like you said, mutual attraction is the first step on the Path of True Love."

"Well… I don't think I used those exact words, but I see what you're getting at." Replied Dominator, who appeared to be forcing herself not to giggle euphorically.

"Precisely! So instead of denying our attraction, which we now know can have catastrophic consequences, we should embrace our true feelings and take things to the next level, by becoming a real, honest-to-goodness, romantic couple!" the orange nomad said as he brought his charming little sales pitch to a delightful close. "So~ What do ya say?"

"I say~ Close, but no cigar!" the lime-skinned villainess answered; her voice and expression suddenly turning stern and cold. "You're up to something."

"Who? Me?"

"Don't play dumb, it's really unattractive." Dominator countered, her voice indicating that at the moment she was all business. "And anyway, I can see right through your little charade. You only want to be my boyfriend so I'll let my guard down and you can try to flip the script on me. Well it's not gonna work. I've been planning this game since I was nine and there's only one way its gonna end; with you and me making sweet, passionate love on top of a mountain of shattered weaklings."

The mental images brought on by Dominator's oh-so vivid description of her twisted fantasies were enough to make even a hardened warrior like Sylvia to retch with fear and revulsion. And yet, miraculous, Wander seemed completely unfazed.

"Sounds kinda boring if you ask me." He said nonchalantly.

"Are you saying I don't know how to pleasure a man?" the villainess asked, sounding almost insulted.

"Of course not." The furry wanderer replied politely. "I was merely observing that a game with only one possible outcome is only about half as much fun as one with multiple outcomes."

"Uh… what?"

"Let me put it this way. If you're right, and this game can only end one way, then none of our moves will matter. Because no matter what we do, this game will always end the same way." Wander explained, in a way that was informative without being condescending. "However~ If we were to play a game with multiple, say for example two, possible endings, then all of our moves would matter. Because every action we take would determine the outcome. Thus making for a much more exciting game."

"Hmmm… I see…" said Dominator as she mused over his argument for a moment. "And… what kind of game did you have in mind exactly?"

"Oh~ Nothing all that complicated. Just a simple contest of wills." Wander answered; with more than a hint of mischief in his voice. "You believe you can use love to turn me evil, well, I believe I can do the same thing to you, but in reverse. So I say we become boyfriend and girlfriend and find out who's right."

Under normal circumstances, Sylvia would have shouted 'WHAT' and rushed over to put an end to such lunacy, but because of her promise, all she could do was stand there and silently panic.

"Interesting~" said the villainess in an unnervingly impish manner. "But tell me, why should I go along with it? In my version, I win no matter what, but in your version there's a fifty-fifty chance of me turning into a prissy little goody two-shoes. Why should I risk my soot-covered soul when I can just go for the sure thing?"

"Because more risk means more fun~" the orange nomad answered tauntingly. "And besides, either way you'll get me for a husband. And isn't that what you really want?"

At first, Dominator said nothing, but her expression changed at least a dozen times as she thought over the hairy vagabond's bizarre proposition. After about a minute or so of almost total silence, the villainess finally slipped back into her usual demeanor and answered.

"Alright, I accept your little challenge." She said with no small amount of bravado. "So what are the rules?"

"Oh yeah, heh, heh, almost forgot about that part. Now, what did I come up with again?" Wander paused for a moment as he tried to recall the rules he'd made up just minutes ago. "Oh right, now I remember. Rule #1: As long as we're together, you can't destroy any more planets."

"No way!" Dominator spat back; her voice sounding almost demonic for a second. "Nothing is worth that kind of sacrifice, not even you!"

"Oh come now, isn't a lifetime of happiness worth a year or so of restraint?"

"Not at the expense of my ship!"

"Say what now?"

"My ship, my Dom-Bots, this oh-so deadly ensemble I'm wearing, it's all powered by Volcanium X; which I can only get by draining the cores of certain planets. So if I don't plunder, I'll basically be a sitting duck!"

"Oh… yeah, that would be a problem?"

"Ya think!"

"Okay, how about this? You can only destroy planets that are uninhabited."

"That won't work either."

"Why not?"

"Because Volcanium X can't be found in just any planet. I have to take it where I can get it. And if the nearest planet I can drain just happens to have people on it, well then that's just gravy."

"Hmmm…" went Wander as he pondered over this perplexing problem. However, after about two minutes of this, he let out one of his trademark DING's and revealed his latest stroke of genius. "Okay. How about this? You can only destroy planets I don't have friends on."

"How is that any better?"

"Well… at least this way you can plan ahead." He answered, attempting to sound reasonable. "I mean, as long you keep track of where I have friends and plot your course accordingly, you'll never be too far from a place where you can fuel up."

"And just how am I supposed to keep track of a list that long?"

"We can worry about the details later. But between the two of us, I'm sure we'll come up with something amazing~"

Whether it was due to the idea of her and Wander collaborating on something, or some other sinful depravity cooked up by her diseased mind Sylvia could not be sure, but from where she was standing the blue Zbornak could see a Cheshire-smile forming on the villainess' lime-colored lips.

"Okay, that sounds fair." She said, trying to sound serious in spite of her girlish grin. "Are there any other rules?"

"Yes, Rule #2: Everything, and I mean everything we do must be 100% consensual." Replied Wander, his tone suddenly turning deathly serious. "That means no love potions, no hypnosis, no drugs, no mystic artifacts, nothing otherworldly, extradimensional, or otherwise unnatural. Is that clear?"

"Oh please, as if I'd ever resort to something so cheap and…"

"Is that clear?"

"Okay, okay. Jeez. I promise. Nothing more out-there than new perfume or a bottle of wine."

"Good." The orange nomad said before moving on to his next talking point. "Now, I only have one rule left, but it's the most important one, and it's absolutely nonnegotiable. Understand?"

"Sure, lay it on me."

"Alright then, Rule #3: No more killing. Period."

"You can't be serious."

"I most certainly am." He replied sternly. "If you break this rule before one of us wins, then the game is over and you'll have proven to me that we're not meant to be together; consider that the third possible ending."

A part of Sylvia was little unnerved to hear Wander talk like this, but another, much larger part was astonished to see the great and terrible Dominator looking so on edge.

"Besides, it's only temporary." Said Wander as he quickly slipped back into salesman mode. "If you win the game, I won't care anymore and you can kill as many people as you want, but if I win, you won't want to kill anymore anyway. So either way, it's really just a minor bump in the road."

Much like earlier, Dominator didn't reply right away, only this time she remained silent for quite a bit longer. From the turmoil in her eyes and the way her face kept changing, Sylvia could tell that she was really wrestling with this decision. The blue Zbornak almost felt sorry for the lime-skinned lunatic.

Almost.

At any rate, her face eventually settled on a sort of juvenile pout. Then, after crossing her arms and letting out an infantile Hmmph, Dominator gave him her answer.

"Fine." She said reluctantly. "I accept your terms."

"Attagirl."

"So, are there any other rules?"

"No, that was the last one."

"Good, because now it's my turn to lay down the law." Said the lime-skinned seductress as a wicked smile formed across her face; much to the orange nomad's apparent discomfort.

"Say what now?" he asked, sounding both confused and concerned.

"The cornerstone of any healthy relationship is equality." She answered, sounding as though she was reading from a book. "You got to make up three rules that I have to follow, so now I get to make up three rules that you have to follow. It's only fair."

"Yeah… I guess that makes sense." Wander replied, sounding more than a little uneasy.

"So glad you agree, Pumpkin." Dominator purred sweetly, before slipping back into business mode. "Now then, Rule #1: As long as I follow all of your rules to the letter, you can't interfere with any of my villain biz. Which means, I can destroy any planet I want, so long as it's one you don't have friends on, and you can't try to stop me; no matter what."

Now it was Wander's turn to grapple with an impossible choice. Sylvia knew there was no way he would ever agree to such an outrageous demand, but she also knew there was no way he could refuse it. He'd already gotten her to agree to more than she'd ever thought possible, if he backed out now, who knew what she'd do. But still, would the furry wanderer really agree to turn a blind eye to people in need, even if it was for the greater good?

"Alright, fair is fair. I accept your terms." said Wander reluctantly; answering the Zbornak's unspoken question.

"Smart choice." Replied Dominator, her voice dripping with smugness. "Now then, on to the next one. Rule #2: You must take me out on a date at least… once a week."

Compared to her last demand, this one was surprisingly reasonable; which is why Sylvia wasn't the least bit surprised to see her furry little friend thrown off by it.

"Oh… well, that one shouldn't be too hard." He answered, fumbling his words just a bit. "I mean… I was planning on doing something like that anyway, but uh…. Sure, why not make it official."

"Why not indeed." Said Dominator with a girlish giggle; clearly amused by his momentary state of unbalance. "Anywho~ I've only got one rule left, but it's the most important one of all, and its absotively poslutely, unnegotiable. You think you can handle it?"

"Sure." The orange nomad answered before letting out a nervous GULP. "Lay it on me."

"Ooo~ Someone's eager to get this relationship started~" she purred teasingly. "Mama like~"

"The rule please, Dominator."

"Oh right, that." Said the villainess with only a hint of embarrassment before moving right along. "Rule #3, and like I said this is the big one: From this moment on, you must always address me by an adorable Pet Name."

"Say what now?" asked the wanderer, unknowingly parroting the thoughts of his closest pal.

"You heard me. From now on I want you to call me by a Pet Name. One that's cute, but not demeaning. And it better not be something cliché, like Honey or Baby."

"What about… Puddin'?"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~" Dominator squealed giddily; at a frequency that would give a dolphin tinnitus. "Yes! Yes! One-Zillion Times Yes~ Call me that! Call me that all the time! Especially in public!"

"Whatever you say, Puddin'~" the furry wanderer said playfully; earning yet another fit of delighted squeals.

While the destroyer of worlds continued to act like a lovesick schoolgirl, Sylvia just stood there in stunned silence. Honestly, she couldn't tell which was more insane; the idea that her best friend was planning to woo one of the most coldblooded killers in the universe with cutesy pet names, or the fact that it was working.

After about a minute or two of eardrum busting squeals and squees, Dominator finally calmed down and started acting like her normal self.

"Okay then!" she said enthusiastically. "I think that covers about everything."

"Eeyup!" replied Wander, sounding equally enthusiastic. "Now all we gotta do is make it official."

"Oh~" Dominator purred sensually; her mind apparently leaping to some kind of wild and undoubtedly sinful conclusion. "And however shall we do tha-HHHUUUUMMMMPPHH!"

It took a moment for Sylvia to process what had happened; for from her perspective, it had all taken place in the blink of an eye. But once the initial shock had worn off, the blue Zbornak realized she hadn't been hallucinating. Her little buddy was, in fact, kissing Lord Dominator.

On. The. Lips.

And even surprising, it had been Wander who'd initiated it.

For several minutes, the mismatched pair locked lips in relative silence; which was only broken whenever one of them, usually the villainess, let out an occasional moan of ecstasy. From where she was standing, Sylvia couldn't tell if they were using their tongues, but based on the look in Dominator's wide, pink eyes, she could tell that whatever they were doing, the lime-skinned seductress was really loving it.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the two separated, and although the furry wanderer was still looking fit as a fiddle, Dominator looked as though she'd just lost a few pints of blood.

"That… was… Amazing~" she said, sounding mildly delirious. Then, without another word, she allowed herself to fall backwards and into unconsciousness; all while sporting one of the dopiest grins anyone had ever seen.

With his now official girlfriend momentarily out of the picture, Wander spun around to face his best friend. And with a grin all his own, and no small amount of swagger, he tipped his hat to the blue Zbornak and said,

"How's that for an opening move?"

End Notes:

Holy hell! This one was a bitch to write; not to mention edit. But I did it. I completed the last 'full' chapter of The Second Date. All that's left now is the epilogue. Thanks again to everyone who's been following, favoriting, and reviewing this series so far. Seriously guys, you're the best. Anyway, thanks yet again for everything, and I'll see you in the epilogue. Peace.