Hello my lovelies, here we have chapter seven...

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

"Hn" Talking

Hn Thinking

"Hn" English

Warning: Violence, death, cussing, possible OOCness, AU, Etc.


Arriving at Tazuna's house with the missing nin... was a little awkward to say the least. Kakashi had yet to talk to me, namely because he wanted to keep an eye on Zabuza, but couldn't talk to me until we were alone.

Man, am I gonna get the lecture when we get back to Konoha. We needed to discuss the plan on Gato. Shouldn't be to hard, it's not like he hired other Shinobi.

"So, kid, what is the plan? Or did you forget that little detail." Asked Zabuza, stretching across the couch in the living room. Haku stood nearby, as everyone looked at me expectantly. "Well Sasuke?" Kakashi pushed.

"Ok, here's the plan."


Sasuke leapt through the trees, landing near the large building that was Gato's base. It looks like a bee's nest or something, thought Sasuke, jumping onto the walls and climbing in. He looked over at his other teammates, all in position.

Two guards walked by the window, Sasuke ducked, before they walked off. Sakura watched from the trees with Naruto, as Haku took out the first two guards, easily knocking them down with Senbon. The two jumped down.

Naruto's clones surrounded the the building, all in the trees, snickering quietly as the two Jounin were yet to be seen. "Sakura in position."

"Naruto, in position."

"Kakashi in position."

"Zabuza in position."

"Haku in position."

"Sasuke, heading making for target, await signal."


"but I don't why can't we just storm into the base." Said Zabuza.

"Because, that's not part of the plan. The plan is to make Gato think your dead."

"Why?"

"Because we need basically need to get him to explain his evil plans or whatever, that way we have justification to kill the richest man in the world, not to mention we could probably make him give up some cash to."

"Sasuke, we're not thieves, we're not gonna rob Gato." Said Kakashi. I shrugged. "It's not for us, it's for them." Kakashi sighed.


Sasuke slid into the base, casting a Genjutsu on the other guards, making it so they didn't see him. He walked straight into Gato's room. Gato's head whipped around as he glared at the Uchiha.

"Who the hell are you?" Gato demanded. "Guards!" He yelled. No response. They wouldn't be coming. "Gato, I have killed the Shinobi you have hired. You will leave the bridge builder in peace." Sasuke said calmly, turning on the recorder in his pocket.

"Zabuza's dead?! Useless! I figured something happened when never came back... Not like I'd payed him away, would have had him killed anyways." Sasuke titled his head.

"How exactly would you have killed one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist?" He questioned, stepping forward, Gato stepped back, before he grinned. "Simple, hire other Shinobi to do it." Sasuke's eyes widened.

"What?"

A kunai flew past his head, Sasuke ducked and moved away, looking around, drawing a kunai. Gato slipped out of a back door, smoke filled the room, Sasuke choked, jumping out the window, landing on a branch outside, coughing from the smoke.

Sasuke spoke into his earpiece. "The missions been compromised, there's a missing nin here, Gato's escaping." He breathed.

"I have eyes on Gato." Said Naruto.

"Stop him, don't let him leave. We-" Something hit the young Uchiha, hard, knocking him off the branch. Sasuke landed on the ground, the wind knocked out of him.

"Sasuke?!" Sakura's voice filled the mike. "I'm fine, continue on with the mission, secure Gato." Sasuke replied, getting up and looking around, Sharingan activated. What the hell just hit me? That when he saw somebody, somebody quite familiar. Sasuke's eyes widened. The Shinobi tossed his scythe over his shoulder.

"Shit, you kinda look familiar? Eh, never mind, Jashin-sama's gonna be happy tonight, to fucking bad Kakuzu was to busy meeting up with some guy to fucking come here, I knew taking this fucking job was a damn brilliant idea." The crazy Jashinist said, pulling out his scythe. Sasuke's stomach flopped.

Oh shit, Akatsuki. Immortal Akatsuki. Wait... he's alone? That's good, I can take on Hidan, he's a moron. He damn strong, but between myself, Kakashi... I need to contact Kakashi. Thought Sasuke, quickly jumping away from Hidan.

"Kakashi-Sensei, I need back-up, now. There's a S-rank criminal here." Said Sasuke hurriedly.

"What?! Sasuke don't engage! I'm on my way." Kakashi replied.

"A little late for that Sensei, he wants to sacrifice me to his god. SHIT!" Sasuke jumped away from Hidan's scythe, narrowly missing him. I can't get hit.

"Sensei, I've heard of him. His name is Hidan, hes part of an organization of S-rank criminals after Jinnuriki. If he get's your blood your dead." I told him. "He uses it to fuel his immortality."

"Hey how the fuck do you fucking know that?!" The demented Jashinist demanded. Sasuke looked at him seriously and said. "The cats know everything."

"What the fuck does that even mean?!" Hidan asked in confusion.

Hidan clearly doesn't know Naruto is here, or that he is a Jinnuriki. I need to keep him distracted.

"Naruto, Sakura, Haku, Zabuza, stay on mission. Naruto make sure Fluffy doesn't get angry, wouldn't want him to get stolen." Sasuke told him. Fluffy is their code word for Kurama. Naruto knew if he got angry enough, he could trigger the Kyubi's power. By using this phrase, Sasuke was telling Naruto to keep the Kyubi under control because somebody who wanted the Kyubi was in the area.

Original Sasuke had come up with them for anyone of a threat, or anyone after the Kyubi so he could warn Naruto without letting anyone else know what he was up to. He made Naruto fully aware of the consequence of allowing the Kyubi to fall into the wrong hands.

"Alright Sasuke, understood." Naruto replied, sounding serious. Sasuke looked back at the insane Jashinist, before he pulled out his Katana.

"Alright Hidan, let's dance."


Kakashi arrived on the battle field to see several trees had been knocked down and cut up, there was a body on the ground, missing a head. Over to the right he spotted his student, holding a head, that to Kakashi's horror and shock, was talking.

"You fucking little brat! That fucking you hurts! Fuck! Put me back on my body you little brat!"

"Kakashi-Sensei, this is Hidan, Hidan, Kakashi-Sensei. Can I keep him?" Sasuke asked, as if asking if about a dog or cat. "Sasuke, I don't think keep a the head of an S-rank criminal would be a good idea."

"Please? I promise I'll feed it."

"Hm... remember what happen to your goldfish Sasuke?" Kakashi reminded him.

"No! We agreed never to bring up Mr Flippers again!" Sasuke whined.

"You blew him up." Kakashi deadpanned.

"It was an accident, Hidan's immortal though, so he's bomb proof, right Hidan?"

"Fuck you!"


Omake: Hidan's head.

"Ah, perfect." said Sasuke, delighted of his new centerpiece. Hidan's head was on the table in a flower pot, while his body had been cut up into various pieces and placed in a suitcase. Hidan was gagged. Sasuke had considered sewing it shut, but then he wouldn't be able to feed the Jashinist.

"You are not right in the head." Said Shikimaru.

"I think it looks fine." Said Haku.

Naruto stared at it in silent horror with Kakashi and Sakura.

Zabuza shrugged. "It's your house brat."


"SASUKE!" Sasuke snapped out of his thoughts, looking over at Kakashi. "Yes Sensei?"

"Haha! Kakuzu's gonna fuck you guys up bad!" Hidan said, Sasuke's eyes widened. "Oh... uh... I have an idea. Sensei, you should see if Naruto is Ok, and check up on Zabuza, trust me I know exactly what to do with this guy."

Kakashi hesitantly left, after Sasuke mentioned the other person, Kakuzu could be where Naruto and Sakura are.

Hidan's body was then cut into ten pieces, the thys, caffs, feet, head, torso, and arms. Hidan protesting strongly the entire time, with Sasuke threatening to cut out his tongue as a trophy if he didn't stop screaming. In the end, they sewed his month shut. They had created a made shift sling shot, before shooting the limbs off, in the same general direction.

Furthermore Sasuke had given a note to the Akatsuki.

On each note/letter was written the following:

Konan,

You are very pretty, and so in your Kekkei Genkai, fun how you made a weakness into a strength.

Pain,

Really original there with the alias. Makes you stick out like a sore thumb when somebodies trying to get info on you, just so you know. Rinnigan complements your hair, and with Konan's eyes, your both are each other in reverse. No the Leaf village has no clue who you are or anything I am telling, this is information exclusive to me, and me alone. Who am I? Well I think Hidan can... probably, give you that answer, he's very idiotic.

Hidan,

Sorry for chopping you into little pieces. But hey, could be worse, I could have castrated you.

Kakuzu,

Your partner is an idiot and I feel bad for you, having to put up with him every day. That must get irritating. Your multiple heart thing is cool though, bet the tentacles are handy.

Sasori,

Hm, not sure what to write, though your puppets are really cool, especially the Kazekage with the magnet release, gotta be one of the strongest puppets you've got, other than yourself.

Deidara,

You look strangely like somebody I know, you wouldn't have any relation to the Namikaze, would you? It's really been bugging me. The fact that you can create cool looking bombs out of clay is awesome.

Kisame,

What's it like to have gills? That must convenient considering where your from. Has Itachi been brooding? That isn't healthy, make sure his doesn't brood so much, Ok Hoshigaki-San?

Itachi,

So on a scale of one to ten, how screwed would say I am? You can't answer that, obviously, damn. I know everything, Itachi, I found out your secret. You didn't think you could actually hide anything from me, did you? I'm gonna kill that bastard. When I see you again, we are going to talk. See you then.

Zetsu,

You are a creepy bastard, you know that? Both of you, Black and White.

Tobi/O?/Maddie

The mask looks like a lollipop. So how pale did Itachi go when he read my note? Bet he really wants to avoid me now. I'm not telling anyone anything, nor am I holding this information for blackmail, honestly sending these notes was more on a whim than anything. The Leaf has nothing on your organization, well, except for Hidan now. I'm not saying anything, not for any reason or for personal gain, but because I just don't want to. You might be wondering how I have this information and well, that's a long story, and I don't feel like writing it all down. Might come to you and tell you over a bottle of Sake in a few years though, depending on the outcome of my plans.


I had nothing when Kakashi got back with the others, Kakashi scolded him for letting Hidan go, and I explained that I needed to buy everyone time to flee on the event Hidan's partner came looking for him. Collecting body pieces and tossing them everywhere was the best way to do that.

Kakuzu never showed, so that's good, though I had a feeling Zetsu was close by, watching. Catching Gato was a success, with Zabuza quickly ending him. Now we're heading back to Konoha. Which also means that Kakashi is going to ask me how exactly I know the things I know.

I am not looking forward to that talk.


Next chapter's gonna have the Akatsuki's reactions to Sasuke's letters.