Title: Again and Again

Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made

Rating: K+ / PG-13. Warning: Mentions of Violence.

Character/s: Morgan/Reid - Pre-Slash/Friendship

Prompt: Morgan takes an injury on a case for Reid and Reid can't help but blame himself. "It should have been me."


The air in the hospital was almost suffocating.

Logically Reid knew that it was his own anxiety that was making him feel that way but it somehow didn't stop him wishing they would turn the damn heating down.

JJ was sat next to him, holding his hand and, as grateful as he was for the support, he didn't feel like he deserved it. He was the one the UnSub had been aiming for. He was the one who had goaded the unstable man into a frenzy in the hope that he would snap and make a mistake. 'It should have been me.' He thought to himself for the 20th time.

When Morgan had pushed him out of the way of the bullet the first thought that had crossed Spencer's mind was that he didn't have to push him so hard. How terrible was that? Even without knowing that Morgan had been hurt, the man had saved his life. What the hell kind of person did it make him that he was capable of being so ungrateful?

"Spence?" He heard JJ ask and he realized, in his anger at himself, he had tightened his grip on her hand.

"Oh, sorry." he said distractedly.

He could tell JJ was about to say something but at the moment he noticed the doctor who had taken Morgan away coming through the doors and was on his feet in a second.

"Tell me he's okay." Reid asked, his voice shaking with fear.

"He's going to be okay. The bullet thankfully avoided penetrating any vital organs, only grazing the liver. He lost a lot of blood and is going to be out of commission for a while but, barring any complications in the next few days, he should make a full recovery."

Reid raised his hand to cover his mouth, trying to keep himself from sobbing in relief.

"Oh thank god." JJ said, almost laughing in happiness. Reid closed his eyes, now that he knew Morgan was going to be okay, he felt everything from the past few hours catch up to him. The entire room seemed to tilt on its axis. As he heard JJ's voice in the distance asking if he was okay, his legs wobbled and then gave out, failing under him.

He didn't fall though and after a few seconds realized it was because the doctor had eased him back into his chair, "It's okay, just breath." The older man soothed, clearly used to this sort of thing.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked worriedly.

Unable to talk, Reid was let off the hook when the doctor answered, "You've all been through a lot today, I'll stay with him, would you go get him something from the snack machine, and some orange juice," and JJ moved away to do that.

Reid, as instructed by the doctor who he learned was called Doctor Peters, took deep and cleansing breaths.

"When can I see him?" Was the first thing Reid said when once again able to talk.

"He should be waking up in the next hour so, after you've eaten and are feeling a little better, you can go in. For a while." Doctor Peters said, emphasizing the last part.

Fixing the doctor what he hoped was a sincere expression, Reid said, "Thank you. For everything."

"No problem."


It was 45 minutes later that Reid felt strong enough to walk to Morgan's room unassisted, JJ having insisted that he be the first in.

Reid opened the door and tried not to let the sight of Morgan - strong, capable, active Morgan laid pale and unconscious in a bed, get to him. It was futile of course. He had never seen or imagined seeing Derek of all people this … vulnerable. Even as stupid an idea as he knew that was. Morgan was only human.

Except that he was so much more than that in his eyes.

He was … Derek Morgan.

Taking a seat by the bed, Reid reached out hesitantly to grasp Morgans hand. A horrific thought occurred to him as, surprised by how warm the skin was, he realized he had expected him to be cold. To be dead, as he had thought he would eventually be when he was laid bleeding in Reid's arms.

Despite his struggle to contain it, a stray tear worked it's way down Reid's cheek. Morgan couldn't die. He just couldn't.

"Hey." A weak voice said from the bed, slurred by blood loss, exhaustion and drugs.

"Hey," Reid said, standing to move himself into Morgan's line of sight.

When all Morgan did was look at Reid and smile, Reid felt more tears fall.

"I'm so sorry."

Morgan shook his head lightly and grunted "Nah,"

"It should have been me." Reid was crying now, partly from pain and guilt but also from anger at himself that he was doing this. Morgan was laid here weak and injured and he was taking it as an opportunity to pour his hear out. But he couldn't stop the words from spilling any more than he could the tears, "I was the one he was aiming at."

Struggling to keep his eyes open, Morgan smiled again and slurred, "Do it 'gain pretty boy. Again and gain and gen." His words trailing off as he slowly lost consciousness again.

Lowering his head to press his lips to the other mans hand, not caring whether or not it was appropriate, Reid knew that there was no way he could ever make this up to Morgan, knew that his friend wouldn't let Reid treat it as something that needed to be paid back, but he knew he would try.

He would try again and again and again.