Author's Note: Hey Guys! I have a chapter that's a bit longer for you tonight. I enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games or the Characters.
Hiraeth
Chapter 7
"You did what?" Haymitch asked, staring at me with his jaw hanging open.
Effie looked horrified.
And Peeta… Peeta stared at me with an expression that seemed more panicked that anything.
I'd been avoiding the topic of my 15 minutes with Gamemakers as long as I could, but the 12 flashing on the screen for both Haymitch and I had inevitably forced me to spill.
"How could you think that was a good idea, Katniss?" Haymitch asked, trying to keep his voice even. I could tell it was taking every ounce of strength he had not to start yelling at me.
The worst part of it was, I didn't have a good reason.
"I don't know, it just seemed like the thing to do at the time." I said with a nonchalant shrug.
"Katniss, this is serious." Effie said, she looked like she was trying to keep back frustrated tears. She batted her long, golden eyelashes furiously.
"Last year they liked it when I shot an arrow at them." I said stubbornly, looking back at Haymitch.
"Well last year you were just another tribute, Sweetheart. It's pretty clear that they don't want you to get out of the arena alive this time. You go and do something stupid like this…" He gestured towards me and shook his head. "It's going to ensure that you get your very own cannon."
"Well, what did you do, Haymitch?"
"I threw knives at the dummies like a normal person!"
Effie suddenly stood up and and ran out of the room, unable to deal with it anymore.
Peeta stood up as well and quickly left the room, shooting me one last tragic glance as he left.
I wiped my face with my napkin and stood up to follow him.
Haymitch met my gaze with a look of pure disappointment and agitation. My stomach twisted uncomfortably. I turned away from him and chased after Peeta.
"Peeta!" I called out, following him as he walked down the hallway and climbed onto the roof. As he stood there he was turned away from me, I rushed over and grabbed his arm. He yanked it away quickly.
"How could you do that?"
A beat passed, silence. I didn't know what to say, I wrapped my arms around myself and I repeated the words I found myself saying a lot, feeling like a broken record more than anything.
"I didn't mean to hurt you." Peeta scoffed angrily.
"Peeta, you have to believe me." I pleaded.
"Katniss, I can't… I can't…" Peeta shook his head, he turned to look at me, and terror filled his blue eyes. His voice cracked as he spoke and he bit his lip.
"I can't lose you." And then he started crying. I'd never seen him cry before. And he'd had more than plenty of reasons to cry in the past. Maybe that was why it shocked me so much. I wrapped my arms around him and held him as he shook.
So helpless...
"Shh, it's alright." I kept whispering, over and over again, until the words began to completely lose their meaning.
"I just can't live without you, Katniss, you don't understand." Peeta whispered, voice trembling and vulnerable. It made my heart ache.
"Then help me." I whispered in response. He leant back so he could meet my eyes with his own, puffy, red ones.
"Help me get out of there alive." I said gently, stroking his soft blonde hair. Peeta nodded jerkily.
Then I leant in and kissed him. It was the first time I'd kissed him without any cameras, anyone else expecting something from it. It was just a kiss between me and him. Raw and real. I tasted his salty tears on his lips, causing me to pull him closer.
I didn't want to ever let him go. It scared me how much I cared for the boy with the bread. I wasn't the kind of person to ever let anyone in and I wasn't used to such intense feelings for anyone.
"Stay with me tonight?" I asked, pressing the pads of my fingertips to his.
I didn't mean it in a sexual way. I needed his presence, his warmth, I needed to soak up as much of him as I could before there was a chance I would never get to again.
Peeta nodded.
"Of course, Katniss." He spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, as if he'd do anything I asked him to. Anything except let me go.
We stayed up on the roof. He sat behind me and wrapped his arms around me to block the chilly air. I rubbed my hands to along his goosebump covered arms to warm him.
We watched the sunset, silently. Soft orange swirled with small bits of crimson, lilac, and pink to create a majestic looking sky. It could've been something right out of one of Peeta's paintings.
"It's beautiful." I said in awe.
"Almost as much as you." Peeta whispered in my ear. I looked up to find him staring at me. I suddenly felt immensely uncomfortable.
"I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you." I muttered, looking downwards.
"You undervalue yourself." He said simply. I didn't bother arguing, for I knew he would counteract everything I said. But privately I thought that he undervalued himself as well.
That night he held me, tighter than he'd ever held me before. I clung to him, like he was all that I had, and maybe that was true in a way. He kissed my forehead softly and sang to me a quiet, haunting tune.
He cradled me and the words of the song began to mix with the figures of my dreams that I would never be able to remember.
Someone was shaking me. The evanescent dream I was in was beginning to fade away. I found the tendrils of my mind trying to reach out and grasp it. It was such a lovely dream.
"Katniss." A voice called, and then suddenly I was conflicted. I knew that voice. I was even sure in that moment that I loved that voice. Would I let it rouse me though?
"Katniss, wake up." The voice spoke again. It was then that I stopped resisting the looming awakening and I peeled my eyes open to see Peeta hovering above me.
"Hello, there." I said, stretching my arms high above my head. I looked over at the window and realized that the sky was still dark. It was approaching dawn.
"Why'd you get me up so early?" I asked, confused. Tired mind trying to grasp for an explanation.
"To help you." Peeta said. He grabbed my hand and pulled up into a sitting position. I yawned and blinked, quickly becoming more alert.
"Come with me." He said, and I did.
I followed him as he led me out onto the roof again, stepping over the puddles of silver moonlight lingering on the ground.
The dark made the chill extra bitter, I wrapped my arms tight around myself and this time Peeta didn't help warm me up. He seemed to be lost in his mind.
"Katniss, Haymitch and I have been talking and, well, I came up with this idea for your interview with Caesar. I think it just might work. Haymitch thinks so too." And then he explained his idea to me, up there where no one else could see or hear.
It was crazy, yet brilliant in a way. It just might work. And for the briefest moment, I felt the hint of a hope.
Maybe there was some way I could make it back home. Maybe President Snow would leave me alone if I won the 75th Hunger Games.
Deep down I knew there was no way he'd let me go free until I was six feet under ground, but I pushed that thought aside for the time being. Maybe, just maybe…
When the sun peaked out over the horizon, bathing the world in a golden glow, we went back inside.
I took a warm shower, letting the heat of the cascading water work the stiffness out of my cold and aching muscles.
By the time I went out to the dining room, breakfast was well under way. Haymitch and Peeta were most of the way done with their food and Effie was nowhere to be seen.
Haymitch didn't seem quite as upset with me as he had the day before. Maybe Peeta had talked with him, it certainly seemed probable.
After breakfast it was time for me to find my prep team. They were more emotional than ever, and when they had finished, it was clear they were saying goodbye.
Even they knew what little chance I had of of getting out of the arena.
Then Cinna came in and embraced me, I'm sure he could tell how much I needed it.
"What am I going to be wearing tonight?" I asked him, he pulled out a beautiful, intricate wedding dress. It's the one that I had been meant to wear on my wedding night.
"President Snow insisted."
"Of course he did."
He helped me carefully into it. It was beautiful for sure, long, and exceptionally heavy.
"Remember, don't spin until the end."
"Okay." I nodded, he led me out to the elevator where Haymitch, Peeta, and Effie were all waiting.
Haymitch was wearing a simple black tuxedo which was seemed to pale in comparison to my over-the-top pearl covered wedding dress.
"See you later, girl on fire." Cinna said with a small smile. He turned and walked away as the elevator doors closed, blocking him from view.
"Oh, Katniss, you're so beautiful." Effie said, tears obvious in her eyes.
I noticed Peeta wouldn't look away from me, I grabbed his hand.
When we got off the elevator, Haymitch and I split off from the others and made our way backstage.
"Remember, Sweetheart, you're in love. You're devastated. You'd thought you'd finally found your happily ever after with Peeta and then you found out you'd be participating in the next Games. Now you want nothing more than to make it out of the arena and back to him."
"Got it." I said with a nod. Haymitch gave me a smile that seemed almost genuine.
"Try not to screw it up." He told me. I couldn't help but smile back at him.
The other tributes gawked at my dress, I almost felt like I was naked the way they were staring. I had to resist the urge to wrap my arms around myself to try and cover up.
"Really, you're going to be wearing that?" Johanna Mason said, her tone full of disgust.
I recognized her, she was well known around the training center for her attitude and constantly being naked. In fact, most of the times I had seen her before she hadn't been wearing a thing.
"President Snow made me wear it." I said, feeling just a little bit defensive. She paused for a moment, looking me over, it was clear she didn't like me.
"Just make him pay for it." Johanna said. I nodded, hoping that I wouldn't pay even more for it.
Each of the tributes was called onstage for their interviews. Some cried, some fought the Games with logic, other, like Johanna, were angry.
By the time I was called out on stage, the crowd was already a wreck and seeing me in my wedding gown seemed to be too much for all of them.
I came up to stand beside Caesar. He commented on the beauty of my dress and I thanked him.
"So, Katniss, this has been an incredibly emotional night for everyone here. Is there anything you'd like to say." He waved the microphone in front of my face.
I looked out over the crowd and my gaze instantly settled upon Peeta, he gave me a small nod. It wasn't much but it was just enough to give me the courage to do what I needed to do.
"Yes, Caesar, there is. I want to say what an honor it has been these few months that I've been one of the winners of the 74th Hunger Games." I looked out at the crowd, dragging my gaze slowly from left to right and back again.
"You all have been so amazingly wonderful and supportive." My voice cracked, it was the perfect time for it really. It gave it just the right touch.
"But one of the best parts of it all has been realizing my love for Peeta." The crowd was silent, every eye was trained only on me.
"I think we're all more than a little disappointed that a certain wedding didn't take place." Caesar said.
"Actually," I began. "It did." The crowd buzzed in a very confused manner.
"What do you mean? Tell us more." Caesar spoke.
"Well, we got married in private. I just couldn't wait to begin the rest of my life with him. It would've all been enough, really, if it wasn't for the baby."
The crowd was in chaos. Loud, indignant voices shouted of the injustice. Accusations resounded throughout the room. Caesar couldn't quiet them.
It was then that I spun, turning faster and faster as the flames engulfed my wedding dress.
The crowd shrieked, wailed, and moaned. The Capitol crowd was certainly expressive, I would give them that.
Suddenly, the fire stopped. I was standing in a black dress, similar in shape to the wedding dress I'd worn before. I raised my arms in the air to find feathered wings attached to them. I was a mockingjay.
I heard sobs, cries, and more shouting. Caesar was trying desperately to quiet the crowd and I walked up to my seat with the other tributes with a dramatic swoop of my wings.
Haymitch didn't get much attention as he stumbled up onto the stage. I noticed that he was acting rather intoxicated, even though I'd been sure he'd been sober for days.
"So, Haymitch, I'm sure that this Quarter Quell must've been a large shock for you. How did you feel when you found out?"
"Well, upset obviously. I drank until I passed out." Haymitch responded simply and bluntly.
Caesar tried his best to help Haymitch become someone the crowd would root for, but Haymitch always turned it back around, presenting himself as the somber older drunk guy.
Not that it really mattered, the crowd was still buzzing and chattering from the news of my pregnancy. Some curious eyes were watching him intently though.
"Haymitch, what was it that inspired you to volunteer to take Peeta's place as tribute?" Caesar tried, obviously hoping another angle might get him where he wanted to go.
"Well, I figured that I'd go either way, whether it be from one too many drinks or from being blown up in the arena. There's not much of a difference in the end, really. Peeta's young, he's still got plenty of life to live."
The timer eventually went off, signalling the end of the interviews, and leaving both Caesar and the crowd unsatisfied. Haymitch stumbled back to the tribute seats. He gave me a small, barely noticeable wink.
I just stared at him.
What was he doing?
The anthem began, cranked up much louder than normal to be heard above the noisy crowd.
We all stood up and suddenly Chaff took my hand with his good one, I looked at him for a moment before taking Haymitch's.
It caused a chain reaction, for within a few moments all the tributes were holding hands. We raised our hands up high in the air for everyone to see.
The crowd was beyond hysterical and Caesar looked more flustered than I'd ever seen him before, for in that moment, we stood as one.
Author's Note: Yay! I hope ya'll like that one! Let me know what you think. Reviews and comments are super appreciated!
