Disclaimer: I'm satisfied with fanfiction, so I have no need nor want to own Naruto.
This is my christmas present to you :)
Again, I'm sorry for that last chapter. I think it could have used more detail in the girls' rebel meeting and the ending was horrible. (calms down) Ok, it might not have been so crappy, but to me it was. If you're going to send one of your own creations out into the big bad world of fanfiction with your name stamped all over it, then it better be good.
Also, I decided (sorry, frienz4ever) that there will be an official on-and-off yuri couple in this story. A sort of friends-with-benefits relationship. I suppose you can interpret the Sakura-Ino friendship as yuri too, if you want.
I put way too many of my own comments (which are in brackets) in this chapter. I couldn't resist :)
A month had passed since they'd settled down at the palace. With the daily workouts, Sakura and Ino had managed to build up strength and light stepping. Ino hadn't understood why they would have to tread soundlessly, but Temari had provided them with an explanation. "We're the only people- besides Kiba- who can gather information about Akatsuki and find out their weaknesses. We'll make awful spies if they hear us clomping down the hall a mile away."
Life with Akatsuki (doesn't that sound like a title for a soap opera? Life with Akatsuki? In today's episode of Life with Akatsuki, Sakura discovers Sasuke is cheating on her with Naruto! Who does she run to? Ino, of course! Oh sorry, I got off topic again.) was actually a hell of a lot more boring than it seemed. Sakura's life now revolved around those occasional meetings with Sasuke, the secret graveyard retreats with the rebel girls, and laughing her guts out whenever Ino felt satirical- which was pretty often- and did finger puppet shows with the berries they were supposed to be harvesting.
Sasuke was cryptic but nice to her. By nice, she did not mean he read her poems or took walks in the forest holding her hand. Well, she wouldn't have minded that. He was steadfast and honest.
Sometimes, Sakura worried about Ino. More specifically, she was worried about what Deidara would do to Ino if she took it too far. Ino seemed like annoying him.
Ino raised a finger and wiped away condensation on the window. Being with Deidara was more fun than she would have thought. She didn't hate him, but it was fun seeing his reaction to whatever scheme her audacious mind had cooked up. In short, she got a kick out of pissing him off. (Not sure if the word 'pissed' shows up on fanfiction. I put that word in a review and fanfiction turned it into asterisks.)
"Hey D, is there anything to do?" Ino crouched and looked at him pointedly.
"You're the one who is supposed to entertain me, un."
"Want me to put on a finger puppet show? Tell you a story? Make tea and biscuits?" Ino asked sarcastically.
He rolled his eyes.
Ino looked sideways at him with wide eyes. Maybe that would annoy him. Deidara tried to ignore her, but it's actually harder to ignore someone staring at you like you're the most interesting thing in the universe than it seems.
"Yamanaka, if you're going to think dirty crap about me then don't do it so openly, yeah." It worked. She poked her tongue out at him.
"Shut up, you're one to talk." Ino gave him a half-smirk half-exasperated look. She'd once told him that apparently he gave her a lot of half-half looks. She made it look cute.
"So you think I fantasize about you, hmm?"
"Don't all you guys do that?" He raised an eyebrow at this. "Come on. Boys are hornier than girls. Their minds are addled with testosterone. Guys are the ones who want to go further, and then eventually the girl gets forced into having sex and she regrets it and it all ends in lawsuits and restraining orders."
She was outspoken and brutally honest. Deidara knew he should have killed her long ago- and he was informed of this several times by the other Akatsuki members- but he actually liked having her around. All the other concubines played the same game, used the techniques to get higher on the pyramid of power. She treated him like a friend, even if she was sarcastic more often than not. Sometimes, those few hours snatched between missions and meetings with Akatsuki were the only reason he didn't move away from the palace and let Pein give him his missions elsewhere. Ino was good at livening up the moment.
Ino decided it was enough dirty humor for now. She tried a nicer tactic. Resting her chin on her knees, she smiled at him.
"Enough about that. You know me pretty well- what about yourself? Except for your being an artist, I barely know anything about you."
"Hmm."
She assumed that meant he wanted more detail. "You know, like what do you like to do?"
Deidara chuckled slightly. "You mean, what do I do when I'm not supposedly fantasizing about you being naked, hmm?" Ino tried to kick him, but he effortlessly stepped past her. She ended up sprawling on the floor.
"Ow!" He smirked and smacked his palm on the top of her head.
"Nice one, Yamanaka. Very graceful, un."
Ino squawked. "Why the hell did you do that? I just lost half a million brain cells!"
"I touch your head and you automatically lose half a million brain cells, hmm?"
Hearing Ino's protesting noises ('protesting noises'. Doesn't that sound like Deidara is raping Ino?), Tobi rushed down the hall and burst through his senpai's door.
"Senpai- what's going on?" He stopped. Deidara and Ino both looked alright, with the exception of Ino rubbing her head and swearing under her breath. She looked up at Tobi with a bright smile.
"Deidara doesn't love me anymore, wanna get together, Tobi-kun?" Ino asked flirtatiously. If Tobi's face was visible, Ino probably would have seen a deep red blush.
"How come he gets a suffix and I get stuck with your nicknames, hmm?"
"Fine. So Tobi and I will be going, ok, Deidara-hime?"
Tobi burst out laughing. His senpai looked at Ino with narrowed eyes.
"Thanks."
It suddenly occurred to Tobi that maybe Ino-chan and his senpai were in a sort of lover's quarrel. Pein-san and Konan-san never fought, but many of the other members had past girlfriends with whom they'd had a short fling with, then eventually killed. There was always a few arguments in between. If that was the case here, then it was up to Tobi to set things straight.
"Ino-chan, can I ask you something?" he asked.
Ino raised her eyebrows. "Go ahead."
"Are you senpai's girlfriend?" Shocked silence.
"Good question." Ino pretended to think for a while.
"Do you think senpai is hot?" That was another good question. Tobi was pretty good at asking questions that embarrassed her.
"Sure, why not?"
"Be honest, Ino-chan!" Why wasn't Deidara saying anything? She sneaked a look at him. He was watching her like he wanted to know her answer. Time for another hilarious-sarcastic Ino answer.
"Fine. He's scorchingly sexy. He's so scorchingly sexy that the very sight of him burns my eyes out, and now I'll have to go to court and sue him for second-degree assault with a fiery weapon." Ino grinned at Tobi. "Does that answer your question?"
They laughed, hard. Tobi actually started rolling on the floor. Deidara wondered if she was actually telling the truth.
"Hey Tobi-kun, where were you just now?" Ino asked a few moments later.
"I was doing Zetsu-"
"Whoa, too much info!" Ino recoiled and scrunched herself into a ball in the corner.
"- a favour. I was doing Zetsu-san a favour." His senpai and Ino started laughing. Tobi observed them for a few moments.
"Does this mean you two are back together?" More laughter. Tobi shrugged. Maybe that meant they were still quarreling. He darted over to the foggy window, where he sketched for a minute or so. Then he turned around.
"Senpai, look!"
Deidara turned around. His eyes traveled over the drawing on the window. Then he gave Tobi a look that was a combination of 'oh shit' and 'what the fuck?'
"You baka, what the hell, un?"
"What's wrong?" Ino started to turn toward them. Deidara grabbed her shoulders and faced her away.
"I wanna know what's over there! Deidara, stop it!"
"Turn around and I'll kill another half million of your brain cells, yeah."
"But Ino-chan has a right to know what I wrote!" Tobi exclaimed. His senpai pushed Ino to the other side of the room, then ran to the window and wiped Tobi's drawing away. Ino swiveled around and managed to catch half of the message.
"Aww, crap! I can only see half of the words." Ino thought. Some words that were half cleared only had fragments, like 'aman' and 'eida' and 'ver'.
"See you next time, Yamanaka," Deidara said while shoving Ino toward the door.
"Hey wait-" He closed it before she could get back in.
"You know what, Tobi? Maybe the two of you are a good couple after all, yeah."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Both of you seem to enjoy annoying the hell out of me, un."
Ino huffed at the closed door. Turning on her heel, she strolled down the hall to the concubine's quarters. A thought struck her, and she stopped right in the middle of the wood-paneled corridor.
She'd flirted with Tobi back there. Her style was acting sweet and nice, like she had acted with Tobi. Most of the time when she flirted, which was pretty rarely, she just did it for the hell of it. Her flirting with Tobi wasn't really what surprised her- it was that in all the time that she'd known him, Ino had never flirted with Deidara. Sure, she randomly threw whatever came into her head at him, but she'd never acted all cute like she had with Tobi. It just seemed to her that Deidara wasn't the type you flirted with. Ino snorted. Of course, there were a few guys you flirt with in an attempt to get him in the bedroom, but Deidara didn't strike her as that type of guy either.
It was very confusing. She pushed it out of her mind and continued walking.
Entwined. By. Memories.
Ino knew something was wrong when she stepped into the huge room. There were two details that alerted her: one, all the concubines were staring at the far corner of the room, and two, Sakura and a redhead were the only two people standing up, and they looked like they were about to jump into a catfight.
"Who the hell are you?" Sakura asked. The other girl smirked. Every curve of that motion was sardonic and superior.
"I really can't believe this is what Sasuke-kun puts up with. Maybe he felt pity or something for you, because you sure as hell aren't good enough for him."
Sakura's voice lifted an octave. "Sasuke?"
The red headed girl circled her with a few steps. "What do you have to offer him?" She prodded Sakura's arm, which the Ino's best friend drew back. "You're flat and you have the personality of dirt. I bet you begged Sasuke-kun to take you, or you wouldn't even be here right now."
"I didn't." Sakura's voice was quiet now. Time to step in.
"Man, what are you on?" Ino casually walked through the crowd of girls. Ignoring their stares, she stepped right up to the arrogant redhead and got right in her face. "And you're one to talk. I don't see you up there with us. Didn't make the cut? Or did Akatsuki get scared off by your face and dump you wherever?"
The other girl curled her lip. She looked tougher than Ino, but Ino was taller. Plus, she had those fire fans and a reputation for being impulsive.
"Aren't you supposed to be off being Deidara's slutboard or something? Didn't get your regular sex fix from him today? Aww."
Ino's eyebrows raised. Apprehension spread up Sakura's spine. It looked like Ino was enjoying this. The blonde girl didn't look angry, merely amused.
"Jealous, ne?"
"Go suck his cock or something. We all know you like it."
Ino leaned against the wall and smirked. "Ah well, I don't really have much basis for comparison compared to you, hmm?"
"Shut up. At least some guys do want me. At least I don't stoop so low like you to pick some kinky freak with extra mouths."
Anger flashed in Ino's eyes. This was getting dangerous. "Some guys do want you, huh? Like the ones in the male harems?" She stared hard into the redheaded girl's eyes, long enough to make the other girl nervous. "And don't bitch about him. None of those mouths would get within a three feet radius of your dirty skin, even if you scrubbed it with anti-bacterial and stayed in the tub for a week." Ino took Sakura's arm. "Let's go, Saks. This isn't worth your time."
When they'd seated on Sakura's futon, she let out a sigh and looked at Ino gratefully. "Thanks a lot."
Ino shrugged. "No prob. Why was she bitching all over you anyway? She should keep her PMS to herself."
"I don't know. I was in there talking to Hinata, and then she said she was going to get something and I should wait there. So I did. And then, I sighed. No, I didn't yell or yawn or burp or anything, I just frickin sighed."
"Why?"
Sakura looked sheepish. "Eh... well, I didn't see Sasuke today and got kind of disappointed. Anyway, that fiery mistress of death made some comment like 'the high of being Sasuke's pet is wearing off, eh, Skankura?' "
Ino whistled. "Pippi Longstocking's talking out of her ass."
"And that's how it started till you got there," Sakura continued. Ino leaned back on futon and put her feet in Sakura's lap. The pink headed girl patted Ino's ankle fondly.
"Meh. We'll just set her in her place next time she spouts fire."
Sakura laughed. "Make sure you don't get burned." Then her brow furrowed. "But that girl is vicious, though. And now she has it out for you too, Yamanaka."
If you can't figure out who Miss Fiery Mistress of Death is, think a little harder. If you support her, or support SasuKarin, then sorry. I'm not really Anti-Karin, but she fits so well as an antagonist in this fic.
No SasuSaku meeting in this chapter. Yeah. Sorry!
Merry Christmas, everyone!!! Anyway, here's something to do when you're bored. The '-' is where Deidara wiped away Tobi's words. Try to decode it! Please send the deciphered message back in a review (yes, I know, I'm trying to get more reviews which is very selfish of me) and I'll tell you if you're right.
Tobi's window drawing (Note: he also drew a giant heart around the whole thing, 3 )
-eida-- + -aman--a --o is L--E 4-ver!!!
