Chapter 7 – Shadow
Dorthea awoke in an uncomfortable position, having curled up on a small chair and fallen asleep. Her neck ached, almost at a ninety-degree angle with the rest of her body and parallel to the armrest. Her shoulders were stiff from holding her body's weight so that her neck didn't snap during her rest, and her abdominal muscles clenched tight in an attempt to relieve some of said weight from her arms. Her feet were propped up on the other armrest, straining her calves and thighs in painfully odd ways. She rolled onto her back, a more reasonable position, and stretched the kinks out of her body, yawning hugely. As her core muscles pulled, she froze. Pain. She could feel it, gripping her abs, curling her in on herself. Oh, how she hated—
"Cramp!" she moaned, stretching out compulsively. Her lungs protested against the sudden tightness, heaving against her chest so that she panted like a dog. "Cramp!"
Rolling directly off the chair, she thudded on the floor, which added to the ache by sending a jolting pain straight through her arm.
"Cramp!" She squirmed desperately, trying to stretch out the cramp in her abs. But moving anywhere but to tighten it further hurt too much. So she wriggled on the floor, gasping for breath, clutching her stomach.
Just then, Spock stepped out of the bathroom, followed by a cloud of white steam, looking as smooth and dry as if he hadn't just taken a shower but was just that hygienically perfect. His eyes drifted across her writhing form and he lifted his eyebrow.
"Are you well?" he repeated his question from the night (was it night? Dorthea couldn't recall what the time was, then or currently.) before.
"Cramp!" Through the tears blurring her squinted vision, she could see his lips twitch upward for just a minute. If she hadn't been in so much agony, for abdominal cramps were the worst of them all, she would've scowled and checked his thoughts. As such, she couldn't focus her mind enough to read the undoubted humor in his head. "Cramp!"
"In which part of your body?"
Glowering at him as best as she could, Dorthea almost yelled,
"Cramp!" She tried to stretch and indicate her abs, but it just wouldn't budge. She curled inward further, pulling her back muscles.
Spock knelt down on one knee and gripped her arm with a startlingly solid grip, steadying her uncontrollable flailing. Whimpers issued from Dorthea's lips in bubbles that burst from her lungs, fighting against the pain that held her abs in a concrete mass since her body couldn't. With a swift movement, Spock braced his hand against her stomach and pressed his thumb into a point just diagonal from her belly button, pushing cleanly through the different muscles. For one moment, Dorthea remained stock still, stunned. And then the twisting agony disappeared. She fell totally limp, panting heavily, her entire body released from the cramp.
"Thank you," she sighed, chest heaving drastically.
He merely nodded once and stood up again, striding over to his bed and fixing it so absolutely no wrinkles disrupted the comforter. Dorthea clambered to her feet and stretched gingerly, carefully testing each body part for any other hints of muscle cramps.
"Has Captain Kirk come yet?" she inquired, failing to stifle a yawn.
"He arrived five hours ago, after departure from the base," Spock answered, keeping his gaze locked on the blankets. "You are free to leave when you wish, although he does request that you report to the bridge when you feel well enough."
"What time is it?" Could she really have been sleeping for so long?
"Five minutes until oh-seven-hundred hours."
"How long did I sleep?"
Spock glanced her way for a millisecond, then fixed his eyes on the pillow he straightened. Dorthea's face fell slightly.
"Approximately ten hours."
"Wow… long time."
"Yes." While Dorthea felt sure Spock would follow with some remark about the need for rest, he surprised her and walked quickly to the door. Trying to understand, she searched his mind for the answer to his change in behavior toward her. Unfortunately a wall of some sort blocked her from entering, one that she was certain he'd build up in the time she'd slept. She shivered, embarrassed and ashamed. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her; she must've offended him.
The door hissed shut behind him and she waited only a minute more before hurrying out and back to her room. She felt that she could accurately remember the path to the bridge this time, so after showering (and she wrapped her cast in plastic this time), dressing in an identical red dress, and brushing her teeth and hair, she proceeded down the halls. Following the thoughts of passersby aided her in finding her way and she soon stood in front of the steel doors that led onto the bridge. They opened with the familiar hydraulics and she stepped in, gazing with rapture around at the room that she only now took the time to appreciate. Uhura, radiant and glowing as ever, working at the Communications station; Chekov at navigations, struggling with his 'V's while chatting with Sulu at the helm; Scotty, leaning back leisurely with his feet up on the Bridge Engineer's computer, snapping at his Tribble for waking him; Spock laboring diligently at the Science Officer's station; and Kirk swiveling in the blue Captain's chair to face her, a triumphant smile spread across his cheeks. He bounded from the raised platform to stand in front of her.
"Look at that!" he grinned sarcastically at her. "The hitchhiker's still here. Did you have fun in hiding?"
"Very much," she supplied with a grin a little less bright than his, toned down by shyness. She glanced furtively toward Spock, who'd suddenly stiffened in his seat. "And I wanted to say thank you, for everything."
"Don't mention it."
"But I—"
"No, really. Don't mention it." Kirk leaned in and lowered his voice to a stage whisper. "Uhura's still a little pissy."
The subject of that sentence grumbled something incoherent, flashing a glare their way. Kirk straightened up and a sly smile crept across his lips.
"Besides. You didn't think you'd get a free ride, did you?"
Dorthea started. What was he talking about?
"You can't just wander around all day!" He spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "If we're going to be lying to the Federation for you, transporting you all over the Milky Way, you're going to work for it."
Fear of the unknown made Dorthea's throat stick like glue so she rasped when she said,
"That's fair." And she wouldn't deny it. It was too much to ask to not assist in any way possible, but… she didn't know what she could do to help! Engineering had never been a strong point with her. In fact, it had never been a point at all. She stuck to social services classes in school, something she had the upper hand in. Any attempt to work with her hands or numbers tended to fall out miserably. She told him this. "But I don't do math well, or work with machinery. Unless you want your ship to blow up."
"Okay, then. Keep DeVult away from Scotty. Check."
"Oy! What's wrong with Scotty?" the engineer called indignantly from his seat.
Kirk started her out with Uhura, at Communications. Dorthea's instructions were to follow the woman, take notes, help when she could. Basically just to watch and learn. Sort of a 'monkey-see-monkey-do' arrangement. Uhura's thoughts betrayed her actual emotions to Dorthea, telling her what she and everyone else already knew: that the woman didn't want her on the ship. Though the reasoning was sound and had a great deal of back up evidence, Dorthea couldn't resist feeling a little upset. But Uhura's exterior kept neat and polished, very polite and helpful. Dorthea tagged along until lunch time, feeling like a shadow all the while, but learning as much as she could. Excelling at anything was unfamiliar to her, but communications had a lot of ways to use her special talent. For starters, all the languages that she would've spent years learning in xenolinguistics proved unnecessary, as she had access to them all right in her head. All she needed was a mind. The tone of thoughts stood substitute for language when with foreigners, she could read their intentions clear enough through it. Really all she needed to learn were controls, so boredom snuck up on her within three hours. Lunch couldn't have come fast enough.
Quickly enough, pizza had grown on her. Dorthea still scrunched her face at pepperoni, but there were other kinds. She liked Hawaiian, so it was called. Especially the tangy, yellow fruits embedded in the layer of cheese. Uhura pointed out Kirk's table and moved to sit next to Spock, who, Dorthea was shocked to see, waited loyally at an empty table with his tray held in one hand and his other pulling out a chair for her. Shaking off the disbelief as soon as Uhura settled down next to the half-Vulcan, Dorthea scanned the mess hall for an empty table. She didn't want to interrupt any previous arrangements with the Captain and his colleagues. Doctor McCoy sat with Kirk, as did Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov, and Dorthea would be invading their social time if she squeezed in uninvited.
The only available table sat way in the back and Dorthea hurried to it, anxious to avoid any curious eyes. Curious thoughts followed her everywhere, though. She couldn't escape those.
Who is that?
When did she board?
Why'd Kirk allow it?
Tarkans? Really?
Of course, as if anything less could be expected, the lustrous silver thread that formed Spock's thought was the only one that caught her attention. Like a seagull and a shiny object. How pathetic. His eyes burned holes in the back of her neck when she sat down, skimming the big picture of his wandering mind.
I can feel when you are here.
That pizza lurched up into her throat. Coughing spasmodically, she gulped down a large drink of water to still the sudden swirling of her stomach and its contents. The rate of her heart sped incredibly, flushing her skin with blue-silver. Her body didn't wait for her brain's permission, but whipped around in her chair to gawk at the smooth-haired back of his head. Maybe he'd been thinking of Uhura. Or maybe, and this would make the most sense out of the two, she'd been imagining it. She hoped she'd been imagining it. He wasn't even facing her. In fact, along a second string of thought traveled the words he spoke to Uhura at that very second.
Miss DeVult, I would appreciate it if you would refrain from entering my mind unless you have my permission.
This wasn't a formal situation. He didn't have to call her Miss DeVult. Not a good sign. Though how she would respond to him, she didn't know. Vulcans couldn't read the minds of others without physical contact. But apologizing over and over again became unnecessary when he put up that uncomfortable wall. A black, solid mass that she just couldn't get through if she wanted to. Cold chills rippled across her skin, raising goose bumps where it touched, and Dorthea slowly faced the wall again. Biting awkwardly into the tip of the second slice of pizza, she became aware of the burning of blood under her skin, colliding oddly with the cold embarrassment that froze it. She hunched her shoulders as if it could block the rest of the world out and ate her lunch in shattered peace.
To make matters much, much worse, Kirk appointed her to the Science officer's station directly after lunch.
"No!" she practically yelped. "I mean, I'm feeling a little… overwhelmed."
Kirk patted her on the shoulder, the look on his face plainly stating that such a lame excuse would not free her.
"I've never had so many thoughts around me. I have a headache."
"Your species can block it out, right?"
Damn Starfleet Academy.
"Yes, but—"
He gripped her shoulders, whirled her around to face where Spock sat, and gently pushed her forward. She stumbled over her own feet, holding her arms out like wings to catch anything that would be of help stopping.
"Then get your intruding self over there before we go back to the Federation."
"Isn't there anywhere else…?"
"I've got you scheduled for science. Why are you so determined not to go over there?" Kirk's eyes narrowed, a playful smile spreading across his face. "Is poor Eliza scared of big, mean old Spock?"
Dorthea flicked him an irate glance and instantly straightened up.
"No, I certainly am not."
No, she certainly was not. Scared? Ha. No. More like, embarrassed beyond words. Still, she marched over to Spock and then nodded in confirmation at Kirk. He smiled approvingly and then turned back to his chair, pounding a rhythm out with his fists and whistling a tune to go with it. Hesitantly, she felt out with the very tips of her mind, testing to see if the shield still held. It did.
"Miss DeVult." Spock's clear voice felt colder in his greeting than before, more detached, distant.
"Commander Spock."
It took a minute of recuperation for Dorthea to be able to speak. When she did, it gushed out like a waterfall of words.
"Look, I'm really sorry, and I didn't mean to offend you but it just came out because I had to at least try because your mind is so amazing and I just had to find a way to inspect it because—" she took a breath "—if I didn't I would be sitting here arguing with myself whether to or not and then I accidentally would and go too far and then I wouldn't have your permission and it would be worse and I understand if you don't want to be anywhere near me anymore and I'll convince Captain Kirk to change my schedule so you aren't in it if you don't want to be but—" another breath "—I just really want you to know that I'm really really truly sorry about going into your mind like that and I never will ever ever again I promise." After she shut her mouth, a fresh wave of embarrassment and shame washed over her, causing her blood to boil. She wondered if he even heard half of what she said.
"Miss DeVult." His words were almost a sigh as he faced her. "Please do not worry yourself so much over such a small matter. And please do not think so low of me that I would avoid you simply because of a mistake that was, in some ways, my fault. I should not have allowed you access in the first place. But I am certain that you will not do so again without my absolute permission."
"Definitely," she muttered to her hands, folded in her lap.
Silence enveloped them once more as Spock buried himself in his work. But Dorthea couldn't help asking one question.
"Mr. Spock?"
"Yes?" This time, his speech wasn't nearly so icy. He jotted something down before looking up at her again.
"Will…." Dorthea's voice softened, its volume shrinking with her confidence. "Will you keep that barrier up forever, then?"
His deep brown eyes blazed with subdued emotion while he contemplated her query. The silvery threads again answered before he could.
"No, I do not believe so." Slowly returning to his work, Spock bent his head low over the paper he read. "And Eliza?"
Her heart skipped. He voluntarily used her—well, her sister's—name. Big step! Big step! Maybe he didn't despise her after all.
"Yes?"
"I accept your apology."
A/N: hey! so, i'm glad to have been able to update again (my boyfriend disappeared for five weeks, leaving me ample time to write =p). downside: i don't really like this chapter very much. but i'm also really out of it and kinda have writer's block and i'm kinda SHOVING at it (go away! go away! no one likes you!!!!!) and trying to get this up cuz i REALLY wanted to so this chapter didn't come out exactly the way i wanted to. in fact, that whole spock knowing when she's in his head thing? totally just came out when i was trying to think of something to put for his thought. it worked, though, so whatever! =p but, yeah, so.... let me know if it sucks or not. =p lol. thanks for all the support, guys! keep reading and reviewing! =D taylor-v out.
