Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.
Rated M for several reasons.
Chpt 7 Cutlery, via Boston
BPOV
"You look beautiful."
"Thanks." I murmur, giving him a twirl. "I wish you could come."
"Next time ask Mrs Newton to make it a masquerade ball." He smirks, pulling me in for a hug.
"Yeah, Edward, I think that's a tad sophisticated for Forks and besides I'm really hoping he doesn't get himself shot again."
He shakes his head and smiles as he drops a kiss on the top of my head.
"I won't be long." I assure him.
"I'll be here."
I climb into my truck, which made it home yesterday courtesy of Rose, and it starts up with its familiar roar. If I wasn't wearing a DC cocktail dress and heading off to a party on my own I'd think I'd skipped back a couple of years and got a do over.
Hah.
I've decided to be fashionably late which I'm regretting now because the High School gymnasium is heaving as I make way inside and all eyes turn to me.
I wave a little stupidly.
Yep. It's me. Bella Swan. Hi there.
Fortunately I don't have time to get any more self conscious because Mrs Newton and Mike swoop down on me and carry me into the throng.
It won't be so bad I guess. The people of Forks are a friendly enough bunch and it wasn't their fault I was an awkward teen and could barely manage to interact with most of them. All the generations are represented, including the one I went to school with so there's a bit of an air of a reunion and I can't decide whether it's appropriate or not. There are quite a lot of people from the Res here too which I suppose isn't surprising.
Some of the night is unsurprising. Mike still seems a lot keener on me than he should be considering Jess has recently provided him with a son and heir. Most of the people from the Res are skirting round me like I've got some sort of communicable disease, only Billy, Seth and Sue don't seem to be bothered by my vampire sympathising tendencies. Tyler is as exuberant as ever, something Cheryl clearly loves or she'd never have let him marry her and drag her back here from Detroit. No Lauren Mallory, she went off to college and never came back, sensible girl. No Eric Yorkie either, his proud mama told me he's doing something geeky for NASA. I have to dance with pretty much every one of my male fellow citizens and Mrs Newton is being assiduous in making sure I dance with the single ones more than once, even old Mr Adams, which is frankly more than a little creepy.
What does surprise me is that I'm actually having a good time despite the reasons for being here.
And how much money they've raised.
I really don't approve but that doesn't stop me bawling like an idiot and making a complete hash of the speech Edward suggested I prepare. I don't even mind for a moment that Mike's comforting me with a bit more enthusiasm than is called for, not that it lasts long, Mrs Newton is on him like a hawk leaving the way clear for an awkward moment with Billy and Sue.
"I'm sorry Billy, I know you're probably not happy that we're here but I have to look after Charlie."
"He's your father Bella, I wouldn't expect anything less of you. It's a shame the cold one has to be here too but he hasn't proved himself to be dangerous so far."
"Thanks."
He nods and wheels himself away, leaving me with Sue who smiles at me softly.
"You okay?"
I shake my head.
"He's going to get better Bella, he's a stubborn old cuss."
I nod, too choked for a moment to speak.
"And we'll cope, together."
I nod again as fresh tears starting leaking out and she gathers me into a motherly hug.
...
The rumble of the engine hasn't even died away when Edward pulls me out of the truck and into his arms.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine." I murmur, wrapping my arms around his waist. "It wasn't so bad."
"And the wolves?" He asks as he carries me inside and kicks the door shut.
"They were fine Edward."
"Just be careful with them, please, they can be dangerous, especially the new ones."
"Okay but you need to stop worrying so much." I giggle, running my fingers through his hair. "You'll go prematurely grey."
Though actually he won't, will he?
It's me that will go prematurely grey, juggling the bills, work, taking care of Charlie, worrying about Edward.
And I have to acknowledge that my worry about Edward is changing with my life. My all consuming terror was that he'd leave me, decide once and for all that I'm better off without him. Closely followed by my fear of growing into an old maid with his perfection by my side, though that fear was definitely the lesser of two evils, I love Edward and any Edward is better than none.
But that's irrelevant at the moment, I can't be changed even if he would, I have Charlie to consider. So my worries about Edward are different now, the selfless immortal chained to the human with the ordinary human life, he deserves better, needs more.
"Bella?"
"Oh sorry Edward, I was miles away."
...
Charlie and I have had our first ever argument, it wasn't much of one, he kept falling asleep, but the gist of it was familiar. His one and only daughter was not to waste her life looking after him, he knew the risks in his job, he'd be fine. He's already tried a similar tack with Sue who basically chose to ignore him as if he hadn't spoken. I made one attempt to justify my position and then followed her example. I never had Charlie figured for a sulker, or maybe I just couldn't see the bottom lip sticking out under the stache?
Still he's getting stronger and stronger every day and with the money the town raised for us I'll soon be able to take him home, and this a good thing, I think.
Edward's finished his home away from home, he ran me up into the forest to see it and it's a chic modern bachelor pad in the middle of nowhere that looks like an abandoned logging cabin. It's pretty cool in fact, it even has all the mod cons for my human moments so he can bring me up here for a break.
...
Curse Skype.
"Arthur, I don't think it's a good idea for me to try and cling onto my old life . . . ."
"Fucking hell Bellski nobody died, it's not your old life, it's your actual life and you're entitled to keep a toe in it."
"I don't know, I can't, I have to work and then there's Charlie to consider . . . ."
"He's not getting out for a couple of weeks and you're only working part time, come on Bellski, you put a lot of effort into this, come see it launch."
I sigh and he closes in for the kill.
"I'm sure MDB would tell you the same thing, bring him with you, I'm assuming he's in Cutlery too?"
"Forks Arthur." I correct automatically. I don't know what to tell him about Edward, there isn't much chance he'll come here but if he does and he mentions Edward, or ever mentions him in Charlie's hearing it's going to be a little awkward. "Alight, I'll talk to him and let you know what he says."
"Good girl. Right, I'll stop bothering you now, places to go, people to see. Steffers sends his love and Greg says he's coming out your way in a couple of weeks and you should expect a visit,"
"Okay, thanks Arthur."
"Don't mention it Bellski. Bye."
"Bye Arthur." I whisper to the blank screen.
...
It takes me a couple of days to mention the conversation to Edward because I just know it's going to cause trouble of the silent lingering variety.
"Of course you should go."
Expected you to say that.
"I probably shouldn't come though."
Expected that too.
"Why not?"
"Bella, you're going to have to tell them that you and I have split up, if your boss, or any of them mention me here it's going to cause attention we don't want and don't need."
He's right. And what can we do? We are what we are and we've been dealing with these issues for years now. I just wish . . . .
For once I don't wish that he'd change me, I'm wishing he was human.
...
Arthur was surprisingly vitriolic on the subject of Edward and me splitting up. On the one hand it was quite comforting to know that he cares enough to be outraged for me that Edward apparently couldn't handle my new situation but on the other it was hard because it wasn't fair to the man who does everything for me and probably couldn't have avoided overhearing Arthur's opinion.
Cheryl very kindly dropped me in PA promising to keep an eye on Charlie and let me know of even the slightest change but I still boarded my flight east with mixed feelings.
Greg met me at the airport and gave me a hug that rivalled one of Em's. Arthur must have told him about Edward but with two daughters of his own I'm guessing he's thought better of saying anything on the subject.
The Foundation have very kindly set me up in a hotel for two nights and I've barely finished unpacking when Arthur and Steffers are pounding on the door, dragging me out to their favourite restaurant.
...
"We will begin the evening by dissing MDB." Arthur says, raising his glass.
"No we won't. This isn't his fault." I interrupt emphatically before he can get going.
"Fine. Be all noble about it. Tell us about Charlie's heroics instead."
So I do, embellishing the drug store robbery like crazy until they have tears streaming down their faces and are clutching their stomachs helplessly.
We had a great night and the party the next was something of an anticlimax, though for the record it should be noted that I was still so hung over that may tainted my view of it.
Arthur and Steffers drove me back to the airport in the morning and embarrassed the hell out of me at the gate by pretending they were both madly in love with me and that I should stay so they could share.
I don't know why my tears of laughter turned to plain old tears as I boarded the plane, rough couple of months I guess.
...
I'd agreed to meet Edward back at the house later so Sue very kindly dropped me off at the hospital so I could see Charlie.
"Hey Bells, how was Boston?"
"Nice."
"A-huh."
"How are you feeling?"
"Bored. Laying here like a propped up crash test dummy talking about fishing with Billy, is not the same as actually going fishing with Billy."
"You'll get there soon enough."
"I hope so." He pauses. "Bella?"
"Yes Dad?"
"I still think you shouldn't be here but I'm glad you are."
"Thanks Dad."
"Jesus Bells, don't cry, I don't have a handkerchief."
"Sorry Dad."
...
"Bella, Love, please don't cry."
I shake my head, clinging to him, unable to stop.
"I know this is hard but it's not forever Love, we'll get through it."
"What if Charlie never makes a full recovery?" I manage to sob out.
"He will, but in the unlikely event he doesn't we'll cope."
"And when he does?"
"Then we can decide what we want to do, together, the way we always do."
"Edward, I'm years older than you already."
"No you're not, what brought this on again?"
"Greg, he thought we broke up because you were so much younger than me and didn't want to be nursing an old man. I heard him talking to Arthur at the party."
Edward's chest expands and contracts against my cheek as he sighs.
"They're just words Bella, we're here, now."
I nod but I still can't stop crying.
As far as everyone I know is concerned Edward and I are history and I'm alone. And that's somehow sadder than if it were true . . . .
