A huge thanks to all my readers and especially those of you who have been willing to review the story for me. Reviews are the life-blood of writing for the authors here.
Remylebeauishot did double duty for me and gave me not only the grammar check I needed, but the reality check as well. Thank you BB!
All cannon characters and plot belong to the wonderful and talented Stephenie Meyer. I own the original characters and a macroeconomics book that I'm planning to burn.
Alice
Jasper's tracks and his scent were nearly impossible to follow, so I had to track the painfully obvious trail of the others. There were four distinct scents and footprints, and none of them even tried to hide their passing. Their trail swerved and backtracked as they lost and then found Jasper's trail. Several times, I feared they had lost him and would turn back to find me, but this never happened. Whoever they were, they were relentless in their hunt.
And the vision of fire never faded.
We flew across the hills and low mountains of the Allegheny range and then further south and west until we were in the thick forests of the Appalachian range. Jasper was using the streams and rivers that ran in the ridges between the peaks to try and hide his scent. I was thankful of the thick forest that not only hid our skin but also marked their path so clearly.
As I flew through the trees, I tried to keep my mind only on the pursuit. I kept myself numb to the turmoil building inside me, focusing only on reaching Jasper. The run was the only way to keep the fear and crippling loss at bay. So long as I was heading towards him, so long as I still had a purpose, neither of those feelings overcame me. I did not think about what would happen if he was caught by the others.
Or what would become of me if he truly didn't want me.
We had run across most of the ridges and rivers that make up the Appalachian range when a vision absorbed me so thoroughly that I ran into and toppled a large oak. Jasper was running in the twilight in a thin forest. He was still among low hills, but the wide plains stretched out before him. He changed direction, suddenly, and ran due south, skirting the trees and trying to remain in the cover of the sparse forest. With a roar of victory, a large vampire lunged at him from behind a thicket. They collided with a metallic explosion. The attacker wrapped Jasper in a tight bear hug, and began rolling with him across the forest floor. As I watched in terror, two others piled on top of their thrashing forms, crushing Jasper to the ground.
"No!" I gasped as I pushed myself up.
I ripped the remainder of the oak off of me, and began racing again. The vision left me at the mercy of my fear, and the ripping pain of loss stabbed at my chest. Nothing but reaching Jasper mattered now. I looked up and saw the disk of the sun touch the top of the hill in front of me. I was out of time.
I pushed myself harder, but my speed was already at its peak. I desperately searched for the markers of the vision, the low hills, thin forest and plains beyond, but I didn't find them until the sun was gone from the sky. At the moment I recognized the landscape, a faint roar and metallic crash reached my ears. It was to my left.
I raced forward, nearly bursting on the scene in my rush. Jasper was being pulled off the ground by the three vampires. They were whooping and laughing in victory, and even though Jasper fought back, he was entirely trapped by their combined strength. Two had his arms, and the smallest of the three was directly behind him, holding his chest with an arm and his hair with his other hand.
My world went red in rage. I pushed back the onslaught of visions as I desperately tried to loop around behind the attackers.
"So this is the great Jasper Whitlock!" laughed the small one, spitting venom as he spoke. "Carlos is going to promote me for this," he hissed, yanking Jasper's head viscously back. I suppressed my growl. He would be the first to die.
"We should mount him. Take his head back and hang it on the wall," the largest one stated in Spanish. The others laughed harshly.
"Oh, yeah. That's perfect, Jose. It would prove we got him, and he could spend the rest of eternity watching us."
"Carlos has strict orders," barked out the long haired one that held Jasper's arm in an agonizing twist. Jasper was struggling, but there was nothing he could do on his own to get out of their grasps. "We destroy all of him."
"No," argued the small one, who must have been in charge, "no we don't. I want proof. If Carlos burns the head after we give it to him, fine, but I want everyone to know who we got."
I had to silence my cries as visions pounded at my mind. The visions flashed furiously, showing me various futures, and none of them was good. They were going to force Jasper down and remove his head. He would fight, but he couldn't win. The fire would consume him.
I was almost to the group, but I was forced to pause for the visions to pass. My rage redoubled as my frustration mounted. How could I save him if the visions wouldn't relent? Would it be my gift that cost him his life?
I was so close that had I growled they would have heard me. I swallowed back the swelling fear and growing anger at the visions, and crouched to attack. There was no way out, but I would try. I stepped twice, silently approaching the back of the small male whom I would kill. They were slowly pulling Jasper down, his body fighting them and menacing growls and groans coming from his writhing figure.
For just a moment, the visions shifted, and that small moment was enough. I sprang up, but before I could exit the earth more than an inch, my mind showed me the reason for the shift in the visions, I was being grabbed from behind by another. My arms flew up to stop the grasping arms that surrounded me, but it was too late.
I found my arms crushed against my ribs in the unbreakable grasp of what had to be a newborn.
I roared in my rage as I tried to squirm out of his tightening grasp, but the roar ended in a gurgle as he continued to crush me. I felt my arms and ribs begin to compress to the point of fracture, and a sharp pain radiated out from my midsection.
"Be good," whispered my captor with another constriction. "Be good or I crush you right now." I stopped moving to show that I understood.
In front of me, I heard a loud cry followed by a curse and a ferocious roar. I saw Jasper thrashing wildly, rage flowing from him with every move. The pressure on my midsection eased, and I was able to turn slightly to see him.
He was fighting against the other's arms, but was unable to move. His legs kicked and his body twisted and contorted, but there was no way to escape their grasp. His eyes met mine, and I saw a wild fury, desperate and pained. I shook my head at him to make him stop, but he continued the impossible fight anyway.
The movement was enough to tip the newborn off. His arms immediately tightened around me, and I whimpered at the searing pain.
"Stop or I end her now." The newborn shouted at Jasper. The words were full of menace.
Jasper stopped fighting instantly, and the pain eased just a bit. He had already done some damage to my left arm, because it was strangely numb.
The small one nodded to his comrades, and they forced Jasper's arms sharply behind him, and grabbed him across the shoulders and neck from behind. Then the small one released Jasper and stepped lightly over to me.
"Well, well. Who are you little one?" He reached up and touched my cheek lightly with a finger before pulling his hand back and striking me hard across the face.
I heard Jasper's enraged cry strangle off behind the small man who now blocked my entire vision. He came nearer until his face nearly touched mine and took a deep breath.
"Hmm, you have quite a unique mixture to your scent. Your scent is of flowers, yet the smell on you is of the city." He took another breath and purred in perverse satisfaction, "Ah yes, the smells of New York are still thick on you. We have caught a coven member."
My white hot rage turned to ice.
"We can use her," laughed the newborn behind me. "Do we use her to get into the city or take her back to Carlos?"
The small one traced his finger slowly down my face. I tried to pull away, but I had no where to turn my head.
"What do you say, little one? Will you help us, or shall I destroy you slowly? I will get the information I need." I could hear Jasper struggling behind him.
"Why don't we just take her to Carlos? We've come a long way south, so he would only be a few hours away," said the voice behind me. I stayed still, and his arms eased their grip a fraction.
"We have orders," growled the long haired one. "No one survives. Destroy any that we come across."
"Shut up! I am in command, and I say we get all the information we can first. I have a feeling that they will tell us everything we need to know," Small One said in satisfaction.
"They?"
"Oh, yes. They will tell us all we need to know, and perhaps more, if we ask just right," the last word was a growl.
He turned to the side, letting Jasper's and my eyes lock on each other. Jasper's face was horrified. Small One laughed and rubbed his hands together.
"She doesn't know anything," Jasper tried to choke out the rasping words against the arm that was crushing his neck. My fear and anger rose strong in me again.
"I disagree. Besides, it's not what she knows as much as who she is and what she is to you." He pulled his thin lips across his teeth in a snarling smile. "Yes, all the information we need is right here, and we will get it one way or another." His cold eyes turned back to me. "Hold them tightly," he ordered, and then turned away, whistling.
The one holding me shifted uneasily. "I hate this," he whispered.
"You'll get used to it soon enough," said Long Hair. He tightened his twist on Jasper's arm, and I watched him grimace in pain. "I for one will enjoy watching him burn slowly."
"I want to watch him see her burn," said the Spanish speaking one. Jasper growled at him.
My stomach twisted under the pressure of the newborn's arms. I had to find a way out, but my visions would not come.
"But she is so little," moaned the newborn, and I felt a strong wave of emotion flow through me. Perhaps it was compassion. The newborn shifted, and I could tell he felt it too.
"Jose, this isn't necessary. She won't be a problem, we don't need to do this," the newborn hissed in response to the feeling. A second wave of emotion hit, so strong that it held my fear at bay for a moment. I closed my eyes, both to calm me and to focus my mind. The fire raged through again. The vision of it was shifting and changing, but always there. I tried to pull back, to see who was in it and how we got there. Two quick shots gave me a flicker of hope. First, I saw the newborn's face in the flames, second, I saw the newborn shift me to the side. If he did that, I would be able to possibly slip away from his unbreakable grasp.
I heard multiple thuds as branches hit the ground to my left. I didn't open my eyes. I felt another wave of pity hit me, and the newborn shifted again.
"Jose, I need the flask," called Small One, and then I heard the whoosh of flames.
Another wave of compassion or perhaps pity roared through me, this time mixed with fear.
And then I knew. It was coming from Jasper.
I looked over to him and his eyes pleaded with me to understand something. Pity, compassion, fear all washed through me again.
"Pull him down," barked Small One. Jasper struggled to keep his feet, but the little one aided the others and forced him down on his knees. I went numb. Jasper looked to me again, and the emotions tumbled down.
I understood.
"Please, don't," I begged. And Small One was instantly by my side.
"What will you give me?"
"Anything you want, but please don't hurt us," I begged again, letting my very real fear cause my voice to waver. The newborn's grip loosened again.
"I want New York," he growled
I was searching my visions, trying to live between the world of the present and the world of the possible future. Small One noticed my hesitation and grabbed my hair to yank my face up. "I don't think you realize what I will take from you. I will not stop until I have the city in my grasp. I will watch you die for hours and enjoy it. Do you understand?"
I could feel the uncertainty of the man who held me in his vice-like grip. He was shifting constantly, but his grip did not waver yet. I had to use his weakness.
"New York isn't mine to give, but—" a hand struck me hard across the face again. Jasper's strangled growl ripped through me.
"Then you have nothing that I need," he said easily and walked back over to Jasper's kneeling form. "Where shall we begin?" He began pulling Jasper's hair back and examining his face and head. He was going to rip off Jasper's ear.
"I am not the leader of the coven," I called out quickly between the rush of panic and visions that were now pouring into my head. It would happen soon. Either escape or death was just a moment away.
Small One looked up along with Long Hair.
"I'm not the leader, but I know how to get in." I tried to sound defeated, as if I had given up and was holding some great secret.
Small One looked between Jasper and I and smiled wickedly. "Perhaps I am going about this all wrong," he said as he rubbed his hands together again. He walked over to me. My visions showed me again that the newborn would shift me. When my eyes saw again, Small One was inches from my face.
"What of you Jasper? What are you willing to give me?" Pity and fear roared through me. Small One grasped my hand and began to bend back my pinky very slowly. "Or better yet, what are you willing to have her lose." I gasped and tried uselessly to pull my hand away as I realized what he was doing.
"Anything," Jasper groaned in desperation.
"I need the leader, the one who sees the future. That one stopped us years ago, and continues to thwart us still. I am here to find and kill him." Panic rose and twisted within me.
"It's the Chinese one. He's the one you want, but he is well protected and lethal," Jasper croaked against the pressure on his neck.
Small One grasped two more fingers and pulled back hard. I moaned at the pain as small cracks formed and spread along my hand. Fear and pity flowed at me like a flood, and at that moment, the newborn shifted me away and into one arm, as if to protect me. It was so fast that I wouldn't have been able to use it if I hadn't been warned of it.
As the newborn began to shift me, I executed a sharp twist and kicked with my legs, breaking out of the newborn's grasp, and pulling my hand out of Small One's grip. Roars of rage rose from the group as I pushed off the newborn and launched myself over Small One and onto his back.
The newborn was stunned and did not react at first, and in that moment, I sank my teeth into Small One's neck and began to twist as hard as I could. His hands fought back, punching my arms and then locking his own hands over mine to stop the removal of his head.
He whirled me around to face the newborn, and I saw the newborn's strike an instant before it connected. I had barely enough time to lean my whole body back and duck. The newborn's fist slammed into Small One's head rather than me.
As I heard the loud crack, my mind focused only on Jasper. Long Hair was going to pull off his head in just a second. I rushed at him, leaping over Jasper's bent form and grabbing Long Hair's black locks as I passed. I let the momentum of my jump pull Long Hair away from Jasper. He released Jasper's arm, but still held his head in a choke-hold. I fell back with the mass of black hair still in my hands, pulling Long Hair and Jasper down with me.
Long Hair roared in anger and grabbed my arm with his free hand. But he was now off balance and spread between Jasper and I. Jasper began hitting him in the face with his free hand, but Long Hair's arm was still around his neck, and the one called Jose was pulling him the opposite way, trying to wrench his body away from his neck. I had no time to go for the kill, and instead grabbed Long Hair's arm, and wrenched it off of Jasper's neck with a roar. Jasper was instantly in battle with Jose as Long Hair twisted in my arms and wildly grabbed at me. My shirt ripped as his hands missed me by a fraction of an inch. I danced around him, trying to pull him off balance with his hair while he pulled me into him with one arm and tried to strike me with the other. I heard the sickening shriek and crack of dismemberment, but I could not see who had been torn.
Strong arms reached under my struggling arms, and encircled my chest. "Rip her," Short One roared in my ear as he pulled me back. Long Hair began to pull the arm he still held. I kicked at Long Hair, but my legs were too short to reach his body. I felt the rock of my arm strain and screamed in pain and rage.
With a lurch, I tumbled back into Small One. I turned to look at my still intact left arm in wonder. I could feel the fissures along my shoulder heal as I saw beyond my hand the figures of Jasper and Long Hair wrestling each other. I tried to leap to Jasper's aid, but the arms around me prevented it. Small One tried to loop his legs around mine, but my vision gave me enough warning to pull my legs up and over my body. Position One, I thought wryly.
He tried to pull me over, forcing me under him, but I locked my legs out wide and prevented the turn. Then I began smashing the back of my head into his face as quickly as I could. The rapid hits sounded like machine gun fire, which gave me great pleasure. Small One yelled in pain and frustration and released me. I jumped into a crouch to prepare for the oncoming attack. His face was smashed, and he wavered as he took a wide stance for his crouch. I dove under him easily and then leapt onto his back in my favorite kill position. With a shout of victory, I twisted off his head and threw it into the now raging fire. I left his writhing body and turned to find Jasper.
Both Long Hair and the newborn were on him. Jasper had Long Hair in a headlock, and was fending off the newborn's sloppy attacks with his free hand. Long Hair was pummeling Jasper with body blows to try and break the hold around his neck. I watched in terror as the newborn grasped Jasper's arm, wrenched it behind him, and punched hard at his back. The crack was deafening. I could see the crack through his shirt as his left arm was almost separated from his body. Jasper's scream cut me in two.
I was on the large newborn before I knew what was happening. I jumped on his shoulders and plunged my fingers into his eyes. The orbs hit the ground like rocks as the newborn shrieked in agony. I gripped his massive neck and began to twist and yank, but this one was huge and his thick neck would not snap. He arched back and fell, driving me into the ground. I redoubled my efforts to remove his head, bringing my knees onto his shoulders to enlist the help of my leg muscles. He rolled over, and rose to his knees as he reached back for massive hands gripped my upper arms in a painful vice, but the visions told me to hold on tighter, so I curled around the eyeless head as tightly as I could.
With his massive strength, he yanked at me, and pulled his own head off.
I hit the ground and rolled with the head once before tossing it into the flames. The newborn' body fell to the ground, wriggling and thrashing as it sought its head.
I whirled around to find Jasper struggling with Long Hair with one hand. His left arm hung limply at his side. I rushed to him, grabbed Long Hair's right arm, and snapped it off. Long Hair arched his back and screamed, but the scream was cut off immediately by the crack of his head coming off into Jasper's good arm.
Jasper stood on wavering legs and looked at me with eyes wild with pain and worry. His shirt was completely off, revealing the long crack that fissured from his collarbone almost to his hip. As his arm swung, the crack would widen and move. Without thinking, I was at his side with my arms wrapped around him to hold his arm and shoulder in place.
"Jasper…" I croaked. It was all I could get out. The relief of touching him and knowing that he was alive was almost too much for me. I felt his good arm go around me and pull me into him tightly.
"Dear God, I thought I lost you," he moaned hoarsely. I felt his body bend to encircle mine, but his left arm would not move with the rest of his body. He buried his face in my hair, and with sweet breath continued to moan. "What if I had lost you? What if I had lost you?"
I could not respond, I just held on to him until a rustling at my feet reminded me of our unfinished, grisly task. "The bodies," I said, and he released me.
I numbly broke apart and gathered the bodies of our attackers and threw them into the pyre that had been built for us. When it was done, I stood back and saw the fire of my visions. The reality of what I had been through for the last 30 hours hit me like a fist. I had seen it all. Jasper had run. I had called after him. The fire was for him, and me, and them. It had all been true. And it had all happened because of my visions. I had nearly killed him because of my uncertain, lying, and evil visions. I choked back a sob.
He was by my side instantly. His hand went under my chin, lifting my face to look into his. His face was twisted in pain and concern. I ran my hand up his bare arm and realized he had used his shredded shirt to tie his torn arm to his body. I looked at the jagged crack and felt an overwhelming horror rising within me.
"I'm so sorry."
"Sorry for what, Alice? I don't understand."
I looked away from the concern in his face. He tried to turn my head and meet my eyes again, but I refused. I couldn't stand to look at him. Not now.
"Alice!" He shook me in desperation. "Alice, what are you talking about? This didn't happen because of you. These men have been my enemies for decades. They found me because I was foolish. Do you hear me? This is my fault. I should have been more careful. I nearly killed you in my stupidity. Damn it! Stop shaking your head and look at me. Alice!"
I was trembling now. All the anger, all the self-reproach swelled in me, shaken from their deep places by the rising terror that I could not name.
"It was me. My fault. Mine. It is always my fault. I could see you run, and it scared me. And I saw the flames but they kept changing and I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry Jasper. I can't control them, they control me. I did this. It was me." The shaking became so strong that I couldn't stop it.
His arm went around me, pulling me into him as waves of calm and peace rolled into me so strong that they held back the terror just a little. I latched onto the peace and onto the man with all my strength. I pulled myself into him, trying to reach the source of the emotions that kept the horror away. I could hear him mumbling my name over and over. I felt the first rays of the sun hit me, and I opened my eyes to see the rising sun turn him into a breathtaking rainbow of color and light. I gasped at the sheer beauty of it, and the truth tumbled out into the light.
"I can see the future, but I can't control it. I can't control anything. It hurts. The visions hurt. They sometimes make things happen that shouldn't happen. I can see the future, but it doesn't help. Don't you understand? It doesn't work right. It is wrong, all wrong. I'm all wrong."
"Hold onto me, Alice," Jasper's rough voice commanded. My arms obeyed and reached themselves around his neck. I was off the ground and moving quickly in the stone circle of his arm. Waves of calm weren't enough now, though. Not even here in his arms. The terror rose to the surface and I could no longer hold it back.
He ran with me for a time that I could not measure. When he stopped, he sat on the ground in a shaded spot and pulled me into his lap. He wrapped himself around me, pulling his leg up so that I was encircled by him. But it was wrong. It would always be wrong. It was wrong because I was broken and evil. The visions proved it.
"Alice, Alice, listen to me. You are perfect, and you are more than anything I could have even imagined. You are so good," he said into my hair as he pulled me even closer.
The terror rose in me until it found my voice. I couldn't stop it any more. His calming peace couldn't hold back its force, though I could feel him trying.
"No. No, it's wrong. It's all wrong. You will leave me for it, because it's wrong. Everyone leaves me. You will too. But I don't want you to leave. I can't survive that again. Not again. Jasper please. I love you, please, I love you so much. Please don't take me there, please, please, please. I'll be good now. I promise. Please," I was screaming through my tearless sobs.
"I'll be good, I promise," I screamed as the nameless terror took hold.
Jasper
I wrapped her in my good arm trying to give her some measure of peace. I had no idea what was happening, but I had to try to stop it. The terror in her was very real, though I couldn't understand its source. We had won. Against all odds we had survived, and we should have been celebrating that fact. Instead, she was trembling violently in my arm. I cursed the monsters that had attacked us and rendered my left arm useless.
She grabbed onto me tightly, as if he very life depended on it. Her touch sent her crippling fear through me in piercing waves. They were so virulent that I nearly moaned. Normally, I would have run, would have sought the safety that only distance provides to one like me. But I would not leave her. Not again. That had caused more pain than I could ever endure again. I bent over her shaking form and kissed her head.
"Alice, Don't worry, beloved. I'm here, Alice. I'm here. Shhh…" I said it over and over, trying to ease her pain, but the fear continued to well in her against my best efforts.
She buried her face into my chest. I heard her small gasp as the sunlight hit us, and, as if the light had triggered her, a rush of words came out that made little sense, but which carried with them tremendous guilt and self-hatred.
"I can see the future, but I can't control it. It hurts. The visions hurt. They sometimes make things happen that shouldn't happen. I can see the future, but it doesn't help. Don't you understand? It doesn't work right. It is wrong, all wrong." The words only made her emotional state worse. I needed to get her out of here and away from the scene of our battle. I needed to take her someplace calm and quiet where I could try to heal her. I remembered passing an old stone barn whose roof still partially stood.
"Hold on to me, Alice," I said gently into her hair. Her arms immediately reached around my neck, and I pulled her into my good arm. She was so close to the unnamed terror now that her emotions tore through me, and my step slowed as I tried to deal with the horrific waves.
After what seemed like forever, I was able to lean against the old, mossy stone inside the barn and pull her into my lap. I wrapped myself around her as much as I could, encircling her as if to physically block what was happening. Her terror was causing me to panic. What if I could not stop this? What if I could not heal her? I began to rock her shaking form as she continued to sob.
"Alice, Alice, listen to me. You are perfect, and you are more than anything I could have even imagined. You are so good," I said softly as I rocked her. I pulled her tight, so tight I was afraid I was crushing her, but I had to. Regardless of the pain, I had to hold her.
"No. No, it's wrong. It's all wrong. You will leave me for it, because it's wrong. Everyone leaves me. You will too. But I don't want you to leave. I can't survive that again. Not again. Jasper please. I love you, please, I love you so much. Please don't take me there, please, please, please. I'll be good now. I promise. Please," she was yelling, pleading, tearing apart from the inside, and I had no idea why.
"I'll be good, I promise," she screamed as the nameless terror took hold and wracked her body and mind.
I had never felt such painful emotion coming from another of my kind. I knew of it. I had felt it often from the feeding raids, and I hated it because it lacerated the very fiber of my mind. It was the worst thing I could be forced to feel – an emotion only the worst monsters created. The cry that came from Alice was drenched in the bone chilling fear of a terrified child. Her scream was the scream of an innocent, wounded and broken little girl. It burned me from within, and I felt my body convulse around her as I felt her pain and tried to take it from her.
I have no idea how long I cradled her. She trembled in my arms, begging me not to leave while I rocked her and told her over and over that I wouldn't ever leave her. The sun was long set before the emotional barrage coming from Alice shifted. I had never in all my years felt so tired. Not physically, though my shoulder ached terribly from the injury, but I had drained myself, pouring all I had into her while my mind tried to make sense of what was happening.
It was fear, raw and potent. It was pain, the cutting pain of loss. It was crushing guilt, though I didn't know what for. And it had been locked into her sometime when she was young.
Her tremors stilled and the sobs became whimpers. I could feel her try to control the ebbing terror, though it still had the upper hand. It had been an hour or so since I had spoken last, so I tried again.
"Beloved," I kissed her short hair as I whispered the words. "Alice, beloved, I'm here and I won't leave. You are safe and I will not leave you. Never."
The words finally reached her, and I felt her still. It was a blessed relief. I repeated them twice and finally felt her pull back, just a bit. I looked into her wide, honey eyes and managed a small smile.
"What did you call me?" she asked, her voice the merest whisper.
"Beloved."
She shook her head. I leaned in and kissed her perfect forehead, and she stopped at once.
"Beloved," I breathed again.
"Don't... you shouldn't... I'm not... I'm broken." She tried to push away as she spoke the halting words, but I would not let her. The terror was still present, but it was no longer in control.
"You are my beloved, and there is nothing you can do about it. I cannot leave you, and no one can make me. Not even you."
"You don't understand. My visions, they're bad. They caused this," she said hoarsely as she touched my broken shoulder. The strange mixture of terror and self-loathing filled her again.
"I caused this. I fought against those men when I was with Maria. Their coven leader, Carlos, is my sworn enemy. I was careless, and that nearly got us both killed. They nearly killed you," my own body trembled at the thought, and my voice broke as I continued. "I nearly lost you, and it was my fault."
I took a few breaths to steady myself. "I don't know how to love, Alice. I destroyed that part of myself to survive. I had to, but you have brought life back to me. I was dead before you came, and now I feel again. I feel alive for the first time since my change. Do you understand? You have given me life and hope when I had completely lost both. I can't leave you. I won't. I don't know how to love you, but I won't stop trying to find the way. If it takes all eternity, I will find a way to love you like you deserve. If... if you'll have me."
I looked into her lovely face, and saw an unfathomable expression. Her emotions were a jumbled mix, so complex that I could no longer discern one from another.
"'If I'll have you?'" She cocked her head to the side as she whispered my words back to me. "When I woke and saw the sun and the trees, I knew nothing. And I was alone, so very alone. As soon as I began to recall words, to know the names of things, I saw you. You were the first thing that my mind saw. Your face was the only anchor I had to a world I didn't understand. Before I knew my own name, I knew you. And I have loved you. Jasper, I have wanted you, longed for you, for twenty-eight years. If I'll have you? I have been yours since I took my first breath. I have always been yours."
And with those quiet words, she shattered my world.
So there you have it.
We will go deeper into their needs and fears later, but at least they both know each other's secret. Now these two incredible, gifted, and broken immortals can begin the journey of an eternity. Of course, they have a lot to learn yet.
If you are wondering... the words Alice was screaming are the same ones she screamed in Chapter 1 of Singularity when her parents took her to the asylum. The little girl is still there and needs to be healed.
So, what do you think? Is this beginning to answer the great Twilight question of why Jasper and Alice are connected so deeply? I look forward to your comments.
To read is human, to review is divine.
Author suggestion: 4stringqueen has a very original and very well written fic called Legend of Green Eyes. Rated T for terrific. Check it out!
