"Jordan?" Jon asked quietly, snapping me out of my daydream. "Please Jon" I whispered. "Can we just go home?" He nodded, kissing me before taking my hand and leading me into the living room. "Hey guys" he said softly. "While tonight has been amazing, and I love you guys so much for helping me get here, Jordan, well, I think the situation is taking its toll. I'm just gonna take her home, if that's ok?" Mum smiled and nodded. "I think that's a great idea" she said, hugging us both and wiping a stray tear from my cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow Jord" Lisa called as Jon put my jacket around my shoulders. I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything for fear of bursting into tears again. I followed Jon to the car, getting in and fastening my seatbelt before he'd even shut my door. I could see him talking to mum and I smiled. They were close, and I liked it. He always called mum if he couldn't get hold of me. Sometimes when he didn't even want to speak to me he'd call her. I watched as they hugged for what seemed like forever before Jon finally got in the car. Mum waved until she couldn't see the car anymore, and then we were alone.
The drive to the house was silent. Neither of us expected anything else. I knew that our relationship had run its course, and it seemed like Jon was finally accepting it too. "Drink?" he asked as we pulled up at the house. I hesitated for a second before nodding. He smiled and waited for me to get out of the car before opening his door and getting out himself. "Bar?" he asked. I shook my head. "I've had enough of other people's company for one night" I said, heading for the front door. "Besides. It's Christmas Eve Jon, no bar will be open now. Everyone will be at home waiting for Santa." He nodded as I opened the front door, finally following me inside.
"So what do you have with an insane alcohol content?" he asked. "I'm not gonna lie, Jord, I wanna pass out drunk so I don't feel this hurt, this rejection, anymore." I nodded, walking to the drinks cabinet quickly. I shook a bottle of jack at him and he nodded. "Perfect" he said. "But what are you gonna have?" I smiled and gave him the bottle and a glass before walking back and grabbing a bottle of Grey Goose for myself. "Numb sounds good right about now" I admitted, flopping on the sofa opposite him and drinking from the bottle. "Numb, yes" he said, taking it from me. "Dead is not a good look Jordan. Got something to mix with it? Coke?" I nodded and he went into the kitchen to grab the bottle.
"You're such a buzzkill Ambrose" I said as he poured vodka into my glass before topping it up with the coke. "I've been called worse" he shrugged, pouring himself a huge glass of Jack and adding a dash of coke to it. "To us" he said, raising his glass. I smirked. "To us" I said, raising mine and hitting his gently.
"Do you remember" he asked, hours later when we'd finished the alcohol and were lying on the rug to stop the room spinning. "The second time we met. When I came to your hotel room?" "I do" I whispered. "Do you remember" he slurred again. "How embarrassed I was when you came down to breakfast the next morning?" I smiled. "I do" I said. "I tried to pass it off, thinking that you'd been drinking and that's why you came to my room..." "But I hadn't" he said. "And everything I said to you was the truth. Six months, you'd been in my head. I'll let you in on a secret. Something I haven't told you before. I wasn't scheduled for Cardiff that second time. I asked for it. Specifically. I needed to see you, after you left without saying goodbye the first time." I looked at him quickly. "True story" he said, putting his hand on his heart. "Ask Hunter. He won't lie to you." I nodded and lay back down, looking at the ceiling.
"I can't do this" I said suddenly, sitting up and cursing how fast I moved. Damn room was spinning worse. "Woah, head rush!" Jon grabbed me quickly, stopping me falling backwards. "Easy, tiger" he whispered, standing up and helping me up. I stumbled and he caught me easily. "Never could handle your drink, could you?" he laughed, helping me to the stairs. "Come on. Bedtime for you." "And for you?" I asked, looking at him. He nodded. "Sofa time for me" he said, leading me up the stairs. "Come on, that's it..." "Jon" I mumbled, holding my stomach. "Oh Jord" he groaned, hurrying me into the bathroom. He just got me over the toilet before the bottle of Goose came back up. "It's ok" he said, holding my hair out of the way. "You'll feel better once it's all gone." "Bullshit" I sobbed. "Everything's going, ending, and I can't stop it Jon. I'm losing everything. I can't even hold on to alcohol, how can I be expected to hold on to a relationship?" He laughed, sitting on the floor and pulling me onto his lap. "Because" he said. "Alcohol doesn't want to hold on to you. But I do. I do so fucking much Jordan."
