A week passes by and I refuse to relent on my anger. Every day is the same. I wake up, I avoid Kaoru, we ride to school in silence. Around everyone else I pretend like everything is normal, and Kaoru follows. I'm confident nothing looks out of the ordinary to anyone watching, but I see the differences. Sometimes Kaoru has a look of a wounded animal, latching on to the moments we act normal, as if hoping if he grips them hard enough they will become real. Other times he looks cautious. Anytime he tries to pull me aside to talk, I walk away. I think he feels that I have hurt him, but he has hurt me greater than he can imagine by treating me like some freak. I know it's childish, but I want him to be hurt, so he can sense just an ounce of what I feel.

I keep my resolve during the day, but the nights are the worst. I lay in my bed and close my eyes, and my thoughts always drift towards those moments we used to share at night. I'll remember his hands wandering over my body and his lips skimming my collar bone. My body will shiver as I remember the feel of his hands grasping my hair and running through my scalp. It's in those moments that my resolve wears thin. It seems as though everything changes once you kiss someone for the first time, once you discover a deep connection you never knew existed. Where before I didn't know I needed anything, I now need everything.

So during the days I'm tough and resilient, forcing myself into solitude while surrounded by people. And at night, I soften, wishing for an end to the prison I've created.

I begin to panic that this may be our relationship from now on, that this is permanent, when finally, one night, I hear the door to my new room softly creak open. I flip over in my bed, and there is Kaoru, holding his teddy bear against his chest. He must remember the fight we had, when we were young, and against my will it makes me smile. He even looks a bit like he did back then, all large eyes and worry.

If he had approached me during the day I could have fended him off, turned him away with a haughty shoulder. But its night, and I am weak. I scoot over, and he jumps into bed beside me. But it's strange, divorced of our usual closeness. I can't even feel him next to me, except for the slight movement of the sheets with his breathing.

"Hikaru, what happened that night can't happen again. Don't you get it? Please say you understand." His voice is so pained. Why is it all about him? I don't know what to say, so I say nothing.

"Hikaru…" He trails off.

"I'm sorry I fucked everything up Kaoru," My voice sounds bitter but I can't help it – I am.

"Hikaru, you didn't mess everything up. I feel like this is all my fault. Our world was so small when we were younger. For some reason I was able to escape it, when we got to high school. I began to see outside of our world. But you haven't. I should have been helping you."

"You act like we're so different Kaoru. Where did this attitude come from?"

"It came from spending time away from you." He said it so easily. There wasn't an ounce of sadness in his voice. It was a simple fact. He spent time away from me and was different. "Hikaru, you're not quite there yet, and that's ok. I'm still here with you. But I don't think our obsession with each other is normal. It's not ok. We need people outside of ourselves. I think…I think you've convinced yourself that you love me. Because right now, I'm your entire world. But you don't, you're just stuck. Spend more time with Haruhi, meet other people, and you'll see."

Love? Of course I loved him. He was my other half. But I knew what he actually meant. So that was the reason for the theatrics. He thought I was in love with him. How arrogant, not to mention insane.

"We were just playing a game Kaoru, it doesn't mean I love you, geez get over yourself," I mumble.

"I can always sense your feelings before you do. I know you…"

"Do you? You said it yourself, we're different now. Maybe you're looking too much into it. I mean seriously, why would I be in love with you?" My voice is raising, I needed to get control of myself. Kaoru, on the other hand, is as calm as can be.

"It's my fault really," he continues on his earlier thought, as if I hadn't even spoken, "I played a game with you that you weren't emotionally ready for. I didn't think about what it would do to you. We won't play the game anymore, ok?"

Kaoru turns his face towards mine, and I see the wear and tear from this past week on his face. I wonder if I look the same – trepidation in my eyes, a slight frown plastered on my face. I realize in that moment just how tired I am. I'm still not ok with this conversation, but I'm ready for all of this to end. I nod my head and pull my body forward until my head is on his chest. He sighs, and I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off of both of us. He runs his hand up and down my spine, sending little shivers through my body, and I finally allow myself to let go of my bitterness and be carried away by the comfort of my twin.