(Caution: This chapter contains an instance of sexual assault)
She honestly couldn't believe how well it worked.
It had been two weeks and Snape still hadn't heard from Slughorn, or anyone, about stealing the ingredients to make Polyjuice. Considering the highly illegal nature of the potion, no one even questioned when she went over to the Restricted Section and pulled out Most Potente Potions. At least she had another alibi. She'd asked for a permission slip months ago to look at the instructions for a rather old, almost outdated, Antidote Potion for Deadly Asps. There had been newer potions that involved less dangerous ingredients, but none of them had the potency of this solution.
She quickly copied the instructions into the few remaining spaces in the chapter index of her Transfiguration textbook, and quietly placed the book back.
She saw Lily quietly reading a few tables away on the other side. She looked so engrossed in her book, Snape wished Lily would change her mind and come back to her.
She walked closer to the table, watching as Lily took her notes, flipped through pages of her books, and unrolled her scrolls of parchment. She felt like the world was melting, she could just look at her all day.
"I really don't appreciate being stared at," Lily interrupted, not looking up from her note-taking. "Do you have something to say?"
Snape blushed, anger boiling inside her. "How dare you?" She seethed.
"Is that all? You don't have to say sorry, but you're going to pretend I'm in the wrong here?" Lily gave an accusatory glare, her eyes glistening.
"I'm never wrong," Snape hissed. "I thought you believed in me, in us."
Lily looked astonished, before becoming grim. "Obviously, this is going nowhere. Come back to me when you're willing to actually talk to me and stop being so irrational."
Irrational? Snape wanted to scream. Instead, she grimaced, and replied acidly. "Fine. I supposed it's not wise to argue with one of your kind."
She briskly walked away, wiping tears from her eyes.
Snape did regret what she said, but she also didn't. If Lily was going to hurt her, Snape was going to hurt her back, and make sure she hurt her worse. She learned that the hard way from both her parents, the only way to win an argument was to destroy the other person. Eventually, they'll come back.
The flies were stewing nicely, another week or so and it should be ready.
Honestly, she was glad the process for stewing insects hadn't changed much in a couple thousand years, and was something they teach even in Third Year. That part was the most time-consuming, but she could do it in her sleep.
As she checked her calendar, it seemed that the date to gather fluxweed would arrive sooner than expected. Hopefully it wouldn't affect the potency too much.
Snape had planned out her excursion to the Forbidden Forest well in advance. While she went to the forest often, her night visits were monthly and almost never on the full moon. It was a shame, since that was the most optimal time to gather potions ingredients, but she had heard the rumors about dark creatures living in the forest. Of course, she had never seen any, though it would be stupid to assume they didn't exist.
But she felt confident enough in her abilities to defend herself, she was more than adept at curses and hexes. And it's not like she really had a choice.
Getting around Filch was the easy part. His schedule was like clockwork. You wait until he's finished his rounds on the Ground Floor, then you walk out the front entrance. He was usually preoccupied with his rounds on the upper floors that Snape could be gone for hours without anyone noticing.
As she trudged through the undergrowth, she used her wand to look for fluxweed, and maybe extra knotgrass. While both grew naturally in the forest, fluxweed was easy enough to confuse with other plants in the mint family.
She hunched over the underbrush, rummaging through the stalks of various plant varieties. While she did find some useful specimens of other plants for future projects, and enough extra knotgrass for more doses of Polyjuice in the future, she was having trouble finding the fluxweed. She needed to look for the small blue flowers, which would be blooming from the moonlight.
While she did see other flowering herbs, even ones in that family, she was not finding what she needed, and she was beginning to get frustrated. Checking her watch, it seems one hour had passed. She was running out of time and if she wasn't careful, her efforts would have been in vain.
On her knees, she bent over to examine the wildflowers. There was Pennyroyal (useful for family planning potions, but not for Polyjuice), Wild Basil (Great for snakebites along with Occamy scales), and too many of a similar variety.
As she shuffled through the leaves, crunching her way through the dead plants beneath her, the cold autumn air buffeted her face and caused her hair to flutter around her eyes. Grumbling, she pushed it back and moved forward. In her concentration, she didn't notice the sound of crunching leaves, snapping twigs weren't from her own footsteps.
As she walked deeper into the forest, the canopy had made it difficult to see the stars, but the moonlight peaked through the leaves and gave the underbrush an eerie silver glow. The soil was more rocky, and she might have better luck if she climbed up to higher ground.
When Snape reached an area of the forest with boulders and larger trees, she saw more flowering plants. If she could get up to that rock.
Suddenly, she heard a howl pierce the night air.
Lifting her wand, she saw a large creature barreling towards her, it looked like a dog but with long spindly limbs and large hind legs. It had no tail, and a large torso, broader than an average dogs.
She cast a stronger Lumos, temporarily blinding the creature and causing it to snarl. She climbed onto the boulder, and grabbed the branches of a nearby tree hoisting herself up. She started throwing hexes, seeing what cuts or blows would slow it down, but it seemed undeterred.
Stinging it did nothing. Cutting Curses seemed to slash through its skin, but it still kept going, its blood running down its arms and torso.
She even aimed for the neck, but it seemed to not have any effect. It was making progress following her up the boulder. Unlike most canines, it seemed this creature had the ability to climb and it was trying to claw its way up the trunk.
Snape took off her shoe and threw it at the creature's head, which slowed it down but also made it angrier. As it let out a snarl, she threw her other shoe.
This was it. She was going to die and no one would even know she was dead. No one would mourn her, and no one would miss her. Not her parents, not her friends, and most of all Lily wouldn't care.
She heard a rumbling and saw in a blur a large tawny stag rush towards the base tree and stand in front of the creature. It looked a little older than a yearling, the antlers were not entirely developed. It bucked, standing on its hindlegs, moving its front legs and using its hooves to kick the creature, causing it to howl in pain. With one last kick, the stag was able to make the creature step backward, and snarl. The stag, sensing the creature's attention was fully on it, returned to its four legs and darted away, narrowly outrunning its opponent.
Snape clung onto the tree, trembling. She felt a stillness in the air as she stopped breathing, her heart pounding in her chest. She panted, too scared to breath properly, but almost too afraid to faint in fear.
She slowly climbed down and regained her bearings on the mossy boulder, as she grabbed the plants growing on top for support, she felt the tendrils and soft blue flowers and knew instantaneously what she was holding. Quickly, she cast Lumos and examined the plant. Yes, it was fluxweed. She hastily gathered it into her bag and hurried back to the castle, keeping watch for any other footsteps in the forest.
Snape spent most of her free time brewing. The more she focused on the potion, the less time she would have to dwell on her own foolishness. How stupid of her to assume she was ready to go out on her own. The fact she couldn't take on even a stupid beast such as a werewolf (she suspected it was a werewolf, and confirmed it through a cursory glance of her Defence textbook) meant that she had overestimated her abilities. She was going to have to train harder. Spend more time practicing spells, and learn how to be faster, how to outmaneuver anything.
As the Polyjuice simmered, she spent some time coming up with drafts for new spells. Maybe one to dismember? One to disembowel? Maybe a modification of the Cutting Curse. It would need some work. Building a good spell meant basing it on the foundation of older ones, particularly wand movements. Once she had an idea of the movements, and intention, one could decide on the incantation. There was a useful spell in Magick Moste Evile in the Restricted Section from the 16thcentury that would make the victim unable to use healing potions. If she could harness the wand movements and embellish them, it was possible to be able to prevent all healing magic – even the incredible healing factor of Dark Creatures, from taking effect.
As she combed her brain for the technicalities on the Magical Theory, she saw they potion change to its proper color and emit that telltale fishy odor. It was finished.
She allowed it to cool, then ladled it into individual vials. One batch of Polyjuice made enough for three to four doses, so she was going to have to be careful about delivering them to Mulciber.
They met at their usual statue, and for once, Snape was nervous. She kept her impassive countenance and acted as sullen as usual.
"These better be top notch," Mulciber grumbled. "I can't afford for you to give me anything half cocked just because I'm going out on a limb for you."
"Do you know how much effort I went through to make this?" Snape hissed. "I almost died! I had to break someone's leg, and steal from the Apothecary Department. With no help from you by the way."
Mulciber grunted and took the pouch carrying the vials. He opened it and frowned.
"So little?" He asked skeptically.
"Each batch only makes a few doses." Snape sneered. "You'd know that if you paid attention in class, Cassius."
"Oh you think you're so clever, don't you Severa." He placed a thick emphasis on her name. "If you knew what you were working for, our goals, you wouldn't be so glib. Its unbecoming of a woman, if I can even call you that."
Snape extended her hand. "I don't care what you call me as long as you pay me."
Mulciber snorted, and reached into his robes to give her a small bag. Snape opened the purse and frowned.
"This is much less than what we agreed on." Snape glared. "Are you trying to stiff me?"
"Well to be fair, Severa we never had a written agreement on how much we would compensate you for your services. And since your previous contributions have been lackluster in quality…"
"That's not true and you know it, they're perfect!" Snape hissed.
"That's highly debatable, Severa. I'd suggest you take the money and leave, you are trying my patience. And anyway, my hands are tied. We had to allocate the budget to something else." He leered as he put away the vials in his pocket. "Besides you should be grateful we are accepting the work of a mere schoolgirl when anyone would pay us for the honor."
"We? There's no we, it's just you and Evan mucking about trying to get your hands into one scheme or the other to impress your Daddy." Snape derided, causing Mulciber to grab her and push her against the wall, one of his arms pinning her down, the other pointed at her face.
"What do you know of what me and Evan are trying to accomplish? You're just a stupid little bint."
She glared at him, their eyes meeting as she glanced through his thoughts. "I know enough," she replied triumphantly.
"You're bluffing." He gripped her shoulder tightly.
"You were planning on blackmailing Minister Jenkins so she could resign, probably because of the Pure Blood riots and the Squib Marches"
Mulciber snorted. Snape continued.
"The next in line if she resigned like Minister Leach did a few years ago would be the Home Sectrary, which would be Mr. Nott. He's one of the Old Guard as it were, but he's considered a moderate by Pureblood standards. What does it benefit for you if he becomes the next Minister?"
"I'd hold your tongue if I were you, or I'd make you." Mulciber threatened.
"Then silence me. All it takes is a flick of your wand, or are you not capable of that?" Snape taunted.
Mulciber sent a stinging hex towards her and she flinched. "I'm not going to pay you off, I pay you enough. I'm warning you, as my friend to drop this or I will have to find out how you found this information out, and I will hurt you."
"You didn't give Mary MacDonald any sort of warning." Snape replied.
"Precisely, I'm telling you this because I respected you, though Merlin knows why. You don't seem to deserve it with your sentimentality to that little Mudblood slut of yours and her friends." Snape kicked him in the shin and tried to get out of his grip but he was too strong. She kicked him again, and started screaming until he placed a Silencing Charm on her. Mulciber grabbed her hair, and glared at her in the eyes, and casted Legimens. Snape couldn't help but smile at his pathetic attempt as she blocked him with her shields.
"Imperio." Mulciber whispered. Suddenly, she felt light as if she was floating. While Snape had read up on the Unforgivables, this was her first time experiencing the out of body terror that she had heard about for years. The ultimate power over someone else.
"Tell me how you found out about the letters." Mulciber asked.
"Someone told me about them," Snape could hear herself replying flatly, but wasn't answering on her own. "I was forced to steal them from Rosier and give them back to Jenkins."
Mulciber swore.
"Who told you?"
"James Potter."
"So all this time we thought you two were enemies when really you were chums? How could you Snape?"
"I walked into your rooms and unlocked your trunks. It only took a Blasting Curse."
"It was a bloody rhetorical question, you know what you can't even understand me now." Mulciber shook his head. He paused, before loosening his grip on her. He ran his hands over her shoulder, and with a slow deliberation, ran his hands over her right breast. She did not move.
His hand glided down her waist and sneaked inside her robes, carefully reaching her cotton briefs. Roughly, she could feel his fingers move downwards, touching her against her will.
She felt out of her own body, like she wasn't experiencing it, but watching it from the outside. She wanted to scream, wanted to tear his fingers off one at a time.
Mostly she felt paralyzed, trapped.
Fight it.
Fight it.
"You know, MacDonald at least responded, you're sitting here like a dead fish." Mulicber chuckled.
Fight it. Think about killing him. Think about stepping on his neck until it cracks, choking him in his own blood.
"Why Miss Snape, I think you'd be in a much better mood if we loosened you up a little." He leered.
"Oi, what's going on here? You know the rules, no students out after curfew. I'll have to mark you up."
Although she couldn't see who it was, she could tell from the voice it was one of the Ravenclaw Prefects a year above them. Mulciber frowned and undid the curse. He gave her a cold smile. "Looks like we'll have to finish this some other time."
As Snape felt her muscles and joints return to normal, she wanted to take out her wand and kill him on sight. But she couldn't. It would be too conspicuous. Plus, disposing of his body would be too much effort.
She wasn't going back to the Slytherin dungeons if she could help it. She was going to sleep in her annex and return in the morning.
Author's note: This was a very heavy chapter I know. I know this is a terrible thing to add to fanfiction since it seems like its trivializing assault, but I tried to make it a realistic depiction as far as I could without it being too triggering. Sometimes people can betray your trust who you thought of as a friend at one time, and I can attest to the fact it does feel like an out of body experience. I also wanted to address the fact that sometimes in fiction we read about survivors not being able to fight back as if it's so easy to just beat up their aggressor, but it's not. Another trope I hate in fanfiction that is surprisingly common is the idea of someone coming to the assault survivors aide and 'saving' them like they're some damsel in distress. In this case, no one came to Vera's aide, she just had to deal with a horrible situation that wasn't made worse because of chance. I'd been meaning to write a chapter addressing the idea of assault, partially as a form of my own therapy and partially because it does play an important role in the story later on. It's not some stupid tacked on tragedy or any hack storytelling trope, I promise.
As to the werewolf incident. While I mentioned I would try to be faithful to the books, I'm borrowing this idea from what was implied in the films and fan based interpretations. It seems there's an accepted fan belief that the Marauders would allow Remus to roam the Forbidden Forest at night and would keep him in line as Animagi. I think in the books he stayed exclusively in the Shrieking Shack. I decided to incorporate that idea as a sort of what if which will lead to further developments in later chapters.
