Chapter 07: The Wannabe Mugger


In the story Zootopia: A Raccoon's Romance, Jake and his girlfriend Marie are mugged while on a date. Their assailants however recognize that he is a friend of Mister Big's or as they call the raccoon,"Big's pet coon" and flee. This incident leads to Marie not trusting Jake and the two raccoon's relationship breaking up. Its only Nick's intervention which convinces Marie to give Jake another chance. Thanks to Nick, the two lover's ultimately become husband and wife.


The knife glittered in the street lamp's glow. It was a wicked looking weapon that was at least a foot long with a nasty dangerous serrated upper blade. "Now, you two pelts just take it real slow as you toss your wallets and phones over here and no one will get hurt, understand?" the nervous looking teenage kudu buck tried to menacingly command the raccoon and fox who were standing before him.

"No!" the raccoon flatly replied as he defiantly crossed his arms and stared back at the larger mammal. The much smaller mammal was slim, with almost a muscular gymnast's build, and was dressed in a red sport shirt with the logo of his favorite sports team on its left pocket. His black slacks were immaculately pressed.

"Jake what are you doing?" the red fox asked as he glanced over at his friend. The vulpine was wearing a dark blue tee shirt with "Red's Bar & Grill" printed on the back of it and a pair of blue jeans. He had wanted to wear his favorite green tropical shirt before they went to the arena to see the big game, but the raccoon made him change after commenting that the shirt was getting too threadbare.

"What do you mean no?" the roebuck asked in surprise.

"Just wait your turn Junior," the raccoon admonished the teenager as he turned to face his companion. "I'm sick and tired of all the stories about folks getting mugged around here. You're a cop, so do something about this and ARREST THIS PUNK!"

"I don't want to, it's my day off and just think of all the paperwork I'll have to fill out if I take him in!" Nick snapped back as he waved a paw in the direction of the mugger. "All for a candy-ass amateur, who can't even hold his knife correctly?"

"What do you mean by that?" the now confused roebuck asked as he held up his knife up and looked at it.

"He said you are holding it wrong," the raccoon answered with a sigh as he turned back towards the mugger with his paw out. "Here, let me show you how to hold it."

Instinctively the taller mammal turned the blade around and handed it handle first to the raccoon who took it from his hoof before slightly stumbling into him. It was then that would be mugger suddenly realized what he had done, but it was too late because the raccoon quickly stepped away from him with the knife. "Oh Shit!" he stuttered out in a panic.

"That's the understatement of the week sport," the fox chuckled as he gave the teenager a smirk. "You're really are not bright enough to be in the mugging business are you?"

"I'd run if I was you," Jake casually commented as he held the knife up. The buck looked at the raccoon and then the fox. "RUN!" Upon hearing the raccoon's shout, the roebuck panicked and ran as fast as he could down the street.

"You know I really should have arrested him," Nick asked as he shook his head before giving the raccoon a smile. "Do you think he will try to do this again?'

"Probably not, he was scared to start with," the raccoon replied with a shrug. "Besides, I think I'll have Kevin go with me when I visit him tomorrow to return his wallet. Muscular seven foot tall polar bears in black suits can be rather intimidating."

Nick rolled his eyes when Jake held out the buck's wallet, "You picked his pocket and got his knife all at the same time, I'm impressed."

"It takes a mammal with great talent, "Jake chuckled as he held the knife up to admire it by the street light. "This is a nice knife… I think I'll keep it."

"Great, now you're stealing from muggers," the fox sarcastically huffed. "Maybe I need to arrest you for doing that."

"Try to explain that bust to Bogo," the raccoon chuckled as he began walking towards the distance subway station.

"What are you going to do with a knife that big?" Nick asked his best friend. "It's nearly as long as you are as tall."

"Cheese knife?" Jake replied as he turned to look back at his friend with a straight face. "For a really…really…big block of cheese."

"You do know that you can't take that on the subway," the fox called out as he rushed to catch up with the raccoon.

"Damn, I guess I'll have to call us a taxi," the raccoon sighed as he twirled the knife with his paw.

"You could call Zoober?" Nick suggested.

"Why would I do that, we both know about half the cabbies in the city?" Jake replied as he handed the knife to the off duty police officer, so he could use his cell phone. "I want that back."

"I don't know, you might cut yourself bubba," the fox laughed as held the knife in front of him.

A flashlight lit up the fox. "ZPD, put down the knife!" a commanding voice called out from behind them.

"It's just us Kowalski!" the raccoon called as he glanced over at the uniformed rhino who was thundering their way.

"Sorry guys!" the large officer called back as he slowed to a walk. "We had a report of a mugger with a really big knife."

"A Knife?" Jake asked as he plucked the knife from the fox's paw. "A big knife, just like this one? Just because I have a really big knife does not mean I'm a mugger does it? Maybe it's the furry mask that's confusing you?"

"Yeah, I mean no!" the rhino answered as he scratched in head in confusion. "Why do you two even have a knife like that?"

"As I was explaining to Officer Wilde, this is my cheese knife," the raccoon answered with a shrug.

"But…" the large officer began only to stop when he saw the fox's face.

"Bob, do you really want to go any further into this with him?" Nick asked with a sigh. "Especially, when he is in this kind of mood?"

"Yeah, he's almost as bad as you are Nick," the rhino laughed as he threw the fox a lazy mock salute. "Forget the whole thing guys and have a good night."