Neon Genesis Evangelion: Propinquity

Chapter 7

Ich und Du

Another day, another weird sync test. Welcome to NERV. You are here. - .

At least it was nice to be out of the apartment after over two weeks of confinement. The days had passed slowly. Maddeningly slowly. The nights though, had been nothing short of magical. That first fortnight of Asuka's and my relationship had brought me such happiness as I would never have believed possible. It was like a physical void at the centre of my being was being filled. Yes, I know that I'm prone to sappy hyperbole, but that is the only way that I can describe how I felt. You have to remember where I was at, emotionally, at the very start of all of this.

To paraphrase one of those weighty Russian authors the old Sensei seemed to love even more than his interminable Second Impact reminiscences: My life before this had been most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible.

And Asuka. I'm sure that she felt something similar. I certainly could tell that she was happier. Or at least I felt that she seemed happier. It's not like she suddenly turned into Maria von Trapp or anything. Let's not get crazy here… It's just that… well… even though the barbs were still there and in front of Misato she still spoke to me as she always had… I could feel the warmth behind the façade.

The old brash abusive Asuka Langley Soryu was just what was required to keep the outside World from becoming suspicious. The real Asuka, well only I got to see that. And she was beautiful beyond imagining.

I did feel bad for Misato having to work nights for all of that time, but I will admit that I was grateful for it. It gave the two of us the freedom that we needed. After dinner, most nights, we would study together, often holding hands across the kitchen table as we read. I would help Asuka with her Kanji and written Japanese and she would help me with physics and chemistry. I kind of feel that I got the better of the deal there.

Later in the evenings we would retire to my bedroom. Strangely it was never hers. And there we would make love. Feeling the depth of our bond growing each time a little stronger. I relished the warmth and intensity of the feeling of being inside her. The small moans she made as we moved together and the way she clutched at my shoulders when she came. Then we would lie there, still in each other's arms as our breathing and heart rates slowly came back to normal. That was the magical time. The Afterglow, I've heard it called. That feeling of oneness with another person.

Often we would talk. Sometimes about nothing in particular. Sometimes in painful depth. Yet, it felt good, cathartic. I told her about my Father and life with my Teacher. She told me about life in Germany, her time at University and one night, in a quavering voice, she told me about her Mother.

I was horrified. Truly horrified. I felt such a fool for the seemingly indulgent self-pitying I had felt for myself. I had some horrible things in my past, but a Mothers rejection of her only daughter and then attempting a Murder-Suicide, and an indifferent father who abandoned you for another woman was just breathtakingly awful to me.

That night Asuka had just held me and cried quietly into my chest. All I could do was hold her and stroke her hair. I didn't say anything. What could I say to her that would make her feel better after that? Sometimes it's just better to say nothing.

Not every night was a joint therapy-catharsis session though. I certainly don't want to make it sound that way. I just want to show how far we had progressed in that short time. Though it didn't seem that short to us. The constant threat of Imminent Pointy Death can do strange things to your perspective.

So there we were. After two weeks confined to the Apartment I had finally been allowed out to take part in Dr Akagi's latest series of Synchronisation Tests.

Thus far we had been stripped, soaked, scrubbed, water-jet blasted, sandblasted, turbo blasted, vacuum dried and stuck naked in a tiny booth at one end of a long, ultra clean corridor. The small opaque door in front of me would have covered from just above my knees to just below my shoulders.

I couldn't see the other two, but I knew that they were there. Or at least I knew Asuka was there.

"So, here we are, stripped naked and run through the wash cycle seventeen times!" She said with considerable impatience in her voice. "Why do we need to go through this crap anyway? And, dare I ask, why do we have to be naked?"

"We need to understand all of the variables that can affect synchronisation Asuka." Came Dr Akagi's voice over the P.A. "This test is to see what effect removing the interface of the plug suit will have on both Pilot sync ratios and performance of the Evangelions under a variety of conditions."

"Sure. It just seems to me that an inordinate amount of NERV's 'testing' requires me being naked and/or probed in some highly invasive and deeply personal way!"

"All of NERV's test procedures and protocols meet with the United Nations Standard as specified in Article J-237 of the NERV Charter, 2013 Revision." Dr Akagi said in a tired voice.

"That's not verycomforting." Asuka said sourly. "You say that every time I question any of the weird stuff that goes on around here!"

"So," The Doctor continued over the speaker in a more clipped tone, choosing to ignore Asuka's provocations. "If you would please continue down the hallway to the airlock door at the far end, we can finally get on with this test."

"What!" Asuka screeched. "You want me to walk, totally naked, all the way down this corridor? With El Pervo Shinji ogling my perfect body all the way? Not to mention the rest of you on that closed circuit camera on the wall? No way! I won't do it!"

"Very well," Ritsuko sounded at the end of her patience. "The Audio/Visual feed from this section will be shut down for the next five minutes. You have that time to sort out amongst yourselves how you get from where you are to the other side of that Airlock. After that, we do it the hard way."

"Uh…" I said. "What's the hard way?"

"I won't tell you." Dr Akagi answered. "But rest assured, I would enjoy it a lot more than you would."

The red light on the CCTV camera on the wall blinked twice and faded to black.

"That woman is truly some kind of weirdo sadist." Asuka griped.

The sound of my sigh was almost lost in the soft 'psssht' of one of the cubicle doors opening.

"Hey, Shinji-kun! Whatchya thinkin?" Asuka said, her grinning face suddenly appearing over the doorway in front of my cubicle.

"Waaaaaah!" I yelped in shock.

"Awww…" She pouted cutely. "I thought my little Shinji-kun would be happier to see his beloved than that!"

"But Asuka!" I said as softly as I could. "Rei is here too remember! I thought that we were trying to keep this a secret!"

"There is no need to be concerned." Rei's voice came across from the cubicle where she stood. "Both Class Representative Horaki and I have been made fully aware of the fact that you and Pilot Soryu are coupled."

"What?" I exclaimed, dumbfounded. "Rei and Hikari know about us?"

"Welllll… Kind of."

"Kind of?"

"Yeah. It was all Ayanami's fault! Anyway, Hikari just thinks that we're holding hands and kissing occasionally. Wondergirl here," She said with a jerk of her head in the direction of the next cubicle. "Just seems to have assumed that we've gone all the way!"

"B-But…" I stammered.

"It is natural, is it not, "Rei's disembodied voice echoed strangely in the empty space of the corridor. "When someone cares for another, to wish to perform the mating act with that person? Or with a surrogate."

"What?" Both Asuka and I exclaimed in unison.

"Surrogate?" Asuka said. "What the Hell do you mean by that, Rei?"

There was silence for a moment before Rei finally answered, her voice even softer than usual. "It is not important."

"You're weird, Wondergirl!" Asuka said dismissively. As for me, I was troubled by Rei's words. But this was not the time to enquire further of the mysterious First Child.

There was a soft 'psssht' and suddenly Asuka was joined at my cubicle door by the blue hair and red eyes of Rei Ayanami.

"Waaaaaah!" Both Asuka and I exclaimed as I cowered in my cubicle, vainly trying to cover myself.

"Hey, Wondergirl!" Asuka said angrily. "Stop ogling my Shinji!"

"Asuka…" I tried to interject.

"And you!" She swung around to me. "Get your eyes off Wondergirl, you pervert!"

"There is no need to concern yourself, Pilot Soryu. This is not the first time Pilot Ikari has seen me in a state of undress."

"Wha…" Asuka stared slack-jawed at Rei for a moment before turning back to me. Lord how I wished for the cold metal floor of that cubicle to swallow me whole then and there.

"A-Asuka… "I stammered. "I-It's not what you think… It w-was before y-you c-came here… Th-there w-was an accident with the c-card. I-I…"

Asuka turned away from my squirming and looked pointedly at Rei.

"Pilot Ikari speaks the truth. I don't believe that it was his intention to walk into my apartment while I was showering that day. I am also sure that his prolonged clasping of my breast when he fell on top of me was purely incidental. Though… " She said, with an almost strange look in her eye. "It was not unpleasant."

"Shinji… " Asuka growled dangerously.

"Come, "Rei interrupted. "We must proceed through the air-lock before Dr Akagi grows impatient." With that she turned and walked down the long corridor to the air-lock door. Her pale body appearing almost to glow under the harsh fluorescent lighting.

'Psssht' Asuka pressed the release for my cubicle door.

SLAP!

My cheek stung with the force of Asuka's hand as it struck my cheek. Then the aforementioned hand clasped my own and dragged me out of the cubicle and down the corridor after Rei.

"We will talk about this later, Third Child!" She ground out through clenched teeth. She pushed me roughly through the airlock before her. I sealed it shut and stood in the tiny chamber while the light above the other door shone red. Suddenly there was a whoosh and my ears popped with the pressure change. Now the light shone green and I heard a metallic click as the door lock on that side disengaged.

I opened the door and stepped through and into a curtained off area which led me straight to a small set of steps that led up to my designated test plug. I climbed in and settled awkwardly into the control centre. It felt a little violating somehow to feel my bare flesh sinking into the memory foam of the seat. I shook myself to rid myself of such thoughts.

I had a strange, but now familiar sensation as I knew that the plug was being hoisted from where I had entered it to its position inside the Simulation Body. I tried to get as comfortable as I could in this strange situation. Asuka would be just settling into her plug now too. I smiled to myself as I imagined her sitting nude at the controls of the sim-plug. It was a pleasant diversion from my current predicament, and I knew it would be a long sync-test. I thought that I might as well make the most of it.

Also, I needed to figure out a way to stop her being so pissed at me.

LCL flooded the test plug, feeling strangely oily against my skin.

The "SOUND ONLY" window opened up in front of me.

"Shinji." Dr Akagi's voice came over the com channel. "We'll be monitoring your vital signs and sync ratio for the next four hours. Just relax and try to clear your mind."

"Yes Ritsuko." I answered with a sigh that sent a couple of stray bubbles up into the LCL around me. I closed my eyes and leaned back into the seat.


Several long and boring hours later…

"Well, that sucked!"

I looked up from where I was leaning on the rail of the NERV gunboat that had retrieved the sim-plugs from the Geofront Lake. I had been standing there watching as the crew went about securing the plugs onto the carrier of the mobile crane. This then transferred them onto the large flatbed truck that had pulled up at the small wharf that serviced the flotilla of NERV vessels which patrolled that body of water.

"I-I think we got out of it quite lightly." I ventured.

"Hmph… You would." Asuka answered. Somehow she managed to make the baggy grey coveralls that they had given us after we had been rescued look… well pretty hot actually. My own were uncomfortable and scratchy and didn't quite give me enough room in the erm… gentlemen's area as could have been hoped for. But on Asuka, they looked good. Really good.

I could tell that she was still mad at me. I guess that I couldn't blame her. Rei's little revelation of our past encounter, for want of a better word, had made things a little awkward between us.

"It's just inelegant, is all." Asuka said suddenly. I gave her a questioning look and waited for her to continue. Finally she did. "The Evangelions are the proper way to defeat the Angels. Humanity's greatest creation piloted by the chosen elite in a duel to the death. Not by a glorified systems analyst in binary code! It's just not how things should be done."

"But, Dr Akagi managed to defeat the Angel without any damage being done to the Magi or Central Dogma and what's more, no-one was hurt. Isn't that what really matters?" I said.

"That philosophy might appeal to you and your fuck-buddy Ayanami," She said with real bitterness in her voice as she gestured contemptuously over to where Rei stood by the bow of the ship. "But I will never believe that a faceless drone in some pseudo-military bunker shall ever be a match for a true warrior with a fierce fighting spirit. To think otherwise is to deny our humanity!"

I sighed. That's what this was really all about.

"A-Asuka… "She turned to face me. Her eyes shining bright blue and her mouth set in a thin line.

"What?"

"I know that you're pissed off because of what Rei said back there, and I-I don't blame you. But I swear… it was an accident! I slipped and fell and it all went horribly wrong! I would never… "

"You just don't get it, do you baka-Shinji?" She said, her voice hard and her expression unchanging. "I'm pissed off with you because you didn't tell me, you idiot! Haven't we shared enough together that you can finally trust me? If you keep something like this from me, only to have fucking Wondergirl do the big reveal, how do I know that you… "She leaned on the rail and hung her head, her hair hiding her pretty face. "How do you think it makes me feel that you don't trust me enough to tell me this stuff?"

I put my arm around her, despite her words, despite our being out in the open like we were, she didn't try to pull away or shrug me off.

"I'm sorry Asuka." I felt her shoulders tense at my words. "I-I didn't think it was something that you would want to know! I never wanted to hurt you, I promise! Being with you this past few weeks, I hadn't even given it a thought, I swear! Please Asuka? Please find it in your heart to forgive a lowly baka for being so stupid!"

She turned to face me, her eyes shining with tears. She slid my arm off from around her shoulder and held my hand tightly in both of hers. "Okay," She sniffed, and my heart soared. "No more secrets?"

"I swear Asuka, no more secrets." She smiled at me the most beautiful and pure smile.

"Good! I forgive you for being a baka. If I didn't I never would have slept with you in the first place!" She said, trying to lighten the mood. "Just try to imagine how I felt, Shinji! What if you found out from someone else that I had , I dunno, made out with Toji or something…? …ack…." Suddenly she let go of my hand and doubled over.

"Asuka? Are you okay?" I said concerned.

She straightened up again, with a remorseful grimace on her face. "Bleargh… "She said queasily. "I made myself do a little vom in my mouth just thinking about it!"

I stared at her, dumbfounded, for a couple of seconds before it sunk in. Then I began to laugh. She looked at me in annoyance for a moment, but I just couldn't stop myself. It may have been the release of tension, or the look on her face, but I just found myself laughing uncontrollably. Asuka too, was unable to keep her pissed off expression for very long and she too began to laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of it all.

Now there were tears running down her pale cheeks, and mine too. But now they were true and unfettered tears of pure joy and relief. It felt good, healthy even to have such a release after the tension between us and the uncertainty during the Cyber-Angel attack.

Finally, naturally, our laughter began to subside. Slowing down until a comfortable silence settled between us. She took my hand in hers again and looked straight at me, her eyes still shining and bright from the tears, but also with something else.

"You will make this up to me, Tonight, Baka-Shinji." She said in a low sultry voice.

I gulped in mock terror and nodded. She favoured me again with that beautiful smile that she seemed to have only for me.

"I love you, Asuka."

"You better!" She replied, giving my hand a tight squeeze.

We stood there like that for quite some time, until finally Misato turned up in a black SUV with a red NERV symbol on the side. She waved at us as she got out of the driver's side door.

"Come on Shinji." Asuka said, giving my hand one last squeeze before letting go and waving back to Misato. "Let's go."

Misato drove Asuka and I home after the short de-brief session. We had not been involved in the battle for once, so very little was required of us after we had returned to central dogma. So the two of us were sent home. Rei, it seemed, was required for more 'tests' so she stayed behind at NERV. I showered quickly in the locker rooms. Eagerly looking forward to walking back to the apartment with Asuka. No dice. The daylight was beginning to fade outside the Geofront, so Misato was insisting that she drive us home.

"Come on, I haven't seen much of you guys lately! Let me at least drive you home!" She said.

Reluctantly we agreed. Tokyo-3 was one of the safest cities in the World. There was no danger in Asuka and I walking home in the dark. In fact we both felt safer walking home in the dark than we did driving with Misato! But our guardian wouldn't take no for an answer, so we dutifully piled into the ancient blue Alpine A310, Asuka on the front and me in the back. We were treated to a truly stomach turning trip into terror and back to our residence.

"You two seemed very cosy on that boat this afternoon Shinji!" Misato said, turning her head back to wink at me, completely taking her eyes off the road in the process.

"Will you watch where you're driving, for fuck's sake Misato!" Asuka screeched as out guardian miraculously missed sideswiping a parked Mercedes by what seemed like nanometres.

"Yeah yeah, calm down Asuka!" she said nonchalantly. Spurring the poor car up to 85 kilometres an hour in a 50 zone. "Where I come from, ladies don't use that kind of language!"

"Yeah, well, the people where you come from can kiss my ass!" Asuka replied.

Misato pursed her lips for a second at this, before moving on. "So, you guys got any big announcements for me?"

"W-Wha-What d-do you m-mean… "I stammered from the back.

"You two were standing pretty close at that rail when I turned up. Do I smell a budding romance in the air?"

"The only thing budding in the air that I can smell is what you're smoking if you think that I would ever touch perverted Shinji here with a barge-pole."

I knew she didn't mean it, I knew it. But it still stung a little.

"Hmph! You're no fun!" Misato pouted.


We reached the apartment in short order and I quickly moved into the kitchen to prepare dinner for the three of us. Misato grabbed two cans of beer from the fridge and plonked herself down at the kitchen table. Without a word she cracked the first one open and chugged it down in one gulp, slamming the empty can down on the table emphatically.

"Yeeeeeeeeaaaah!" She screamed ecstatically. "That's what I'm talking about!"

"What?" I said, turning from the stove top.

"Huh?" Misato said opening the second Yebisu.

"Just ignore her Shinji. The beer will do the talking for both of them from now on."

"Don't be mean!" Misato said, taking a more measured sip out of the can.

"Whatever… Anyway, shouldn't you be at work?" Asuka said. "There was an Angel attack today after all. Or is it now NERV SOP for its Operational Director to get blind drunk after any critical incidents?"

"Nope." Misato replied with a smile. "But Ritsuko needs to do a thorough diagnostic scan on the MAGI before we can even begin to do a Deconstruct, Determine and Debrief on this one. So I get the night off! Isn't that nice?"

"Wonderful…" Asuka said sarcastically. She looked at me from over Misato's head and rolled her eyes and grimaced. I could pretty much read her thoughts.

We sleep alone tonight.

Bummer.

I served up the stir fry into the bowls and placed them on the table.

"Oooh! Yummy!" Misato said tucking into her bowl immediately. This was just as well. If she had seen the disappointment etched on both of our faces things could have got awkward.

Asuka visited me that night. I couldn't sleep anyway. My bed felt so wrong with just me in it. I had lain there for what felt like hours and still no rest would come to me. Then, the door slid open and there she stood, in her light cotton nightie.

She tip-toed over to my bed – Our Bed – and slid in under the covers. Silently we embraced and kissed urgently, pressing our lips and bodies together in our need.

"I can't do this!" She breathed.

"It's just for one night! Probably…" I answered. "She said herself that once Ritsuko finishes her diagnostics she'll be busy with the fallout from the Angel! Tomorrow night we can be together again!"

"But what about after that? What happens when she is back to being home every night? I… I can't take more nights like this, Shinji! I can't be alone again!"

I could see the moisture glimmering in her eyes in the moonlight from the window. I kissed her again, gently on the forehead.

"We'll find a way, Asuka. I promise! Didn't I say that we would always be together? Didn't I say that I would never leave you?"

She nodded silently.

"Then trust me. I won't let anything come between us."

She clutched to me tightly.

"I love you Asuka."

"You better!"

End Chapter 7