Bella's eyes fluttered open, then shut again almost immediately against the flickering of big fluorescent lights. She let out a groan of protest before squinting into the bright room, trying to figure out where she was and what was going on. What was the last thing she remembered? What happened? Where was Edward? Her eyes focused suddenly on a wall about six inches from her face, where healthy brown-skinned babies and children grinned out of cheery posters about childhood vaccinations and optimal nutrition.
"Bella," a voice came from nearby, and she turned her head, feeling a dull ache that pulled at the corners of her eyelids as she did so. She felt somehow separate from her body, as if it was just a dead weight she was carrying below her neck. Everything felt heavy and fuzzy, as though her consciousness was floating somewhere far above her. Was this what turning into a vampire was like? She'd been told it involved days of agony, yet she felt strangely numb.
Then the owner of the voice came into view above her. The deep frown of concern didn't sit right on his young face, which was normally almost always smiling cheerily. His dark brown eyes looked at her in concern as he leaned over her, and belatedly she recognized this particular arrangement of mouth, nose, eyes, and face as Seth Clearwater, the last person she would have expected to see.
She tried to open her mouth and ask what was going on, but the words came out no stronger than a hiss of air, so Seth heard nothing. He said something too, but all she could make out was the tone of his voice, urgent and gentle at the same time. A pounding sound in her head seemed to drown out everything else, yet it didn't hurt. She blinked a few times, trying to focus, straining to hear what he was saying, but his lips had stopped moving and he was frowning at her, the concern growing in his eyes.
Again, he opened his mouth and spoke, and this time she made out a few words, "… you okay? … hear me?"
She couldn't seem to coordinate a response fast enough, so she missed her chance and he turned and walked away from her. She thought he was leaving, but he only walked to door. The edges of her vision were clouded, distorting the details of the room, but this time she could make out what he was saying, probably because he was yelling it, "Mom! She's awake!" Seth returned to her and took her hand, giving it a squeeze; his touch didn't burn her, nor did he seem to hate her or want to rip her in two. What was going on? This was so different from what Edward had led her to expect.
Bella closed her eyes, and felt a moment of fear as the darkness paired with her disconnection of her body left her feeling like she was floating in space, alone and unattached to anything. Was this what death was like? Was she dying after all? But no. If she concentrated very hard, she could feel her own pulse at her throat, the pumping of her blood in her heart.
I'm not dead and I'm not a vampire. Her first two assumptions were blown out of the water and so she laid there for a long moment, opening her eyes again to stare up at Seth, completely at a loss to understand what had happened to her.
Before she could ask him any questions, Jacob and Sue Clearwater came into the room, displacing Seth at her bedside, who slipped out quietly, casting a quick nervous glance in Jacob's direction before he did so.
"Jacob?" she managed, finally finding her voice. She caught the tightening of his jaw immediately, classic Jacob body language for stress and anxiety. His nerves infected her and she heard her voice shake as she asked, "What is it? What's going on?" She pushed with the palms of her hands, hearing more than feeling the familiar crinkle of paper on an examining table. She was in a hospital or a clinic, that was certain, but why?
Jacob's hands pressed, gently but firmly, on her shoulders. He stroked the backs of his fingers along her cheek, trying to soothe her, but she felt only fear, as well as horrible guilt. Did he know what she'd done? Did he hate her now? Was he just being sweet because she was sick? What was wrong with her?
She turned her attention to Sue. Because Charlie and Harry had been friends, Bella was fairly comfortable with her, but she didn't like the look on her face now- a mixture of discomfort and pity, the expression sat heavily on the woman's pretty face. Bella knew that part of the strain on her face had to be due to the fact that she'd lost her husband so recently, but most of it was definitely for Bella alone. The look that Sue exchanged with Jacob only made her more fearful.
"She just woke up," Jacob explained. "I haven't told her anything yet."
"What's going on?" Bella directed her questions to Sue. "What am I doing here? What happened?" She was now fairly certain of where she was- the health clinic on the reservation, where Sue worked most days, aside from the odd shift she took at the hospital in Forks. But what she was doing there or how she'd arrived, she had no idea.
The look Sue gave her was so tender that Bella felt for a moment as though it was her own mother looking at her. But not quite- Bella still felt scared, and as Sue took Jacob's place at her side and took her hand, she felt the fear rising, threatening to cut off her oxygen. "Honey," Sue said gently, her voice heavy with apology and sadness. "This is going be a shock, but I'm just going to tell you." She paused for the briefest of moments, long enough to let Bella catch her breath and prepare, but not long enough to cause panic- years of nursing the sick, injured, frightened, and helpless had given her the gift of knowing the difference. "Bella," she said. "You're pregnant."
"I'm- what?" Bella croaked out. Part of her was relieved that it wasn't more serious, but most of her was terrified.
"Tell he the rest," Jacob said from beside her head, his voice sounding flat. Bella's eyes flickered to him for a moment, then back to Sue.
"Based on my examination, you're well into your third trimester, Bella. You're about thirty weeks."
Bella looked quickly at Jacob, waiting for him to point out the absurdity of that statement, but his jaw only clenched tighter. Then, she wondered with horror whether he thought their night together, the one he'd believed had been the first time for them both, had been a lie, that she'd actually been with someone else before him. But how could he think that? None of this made sense. Unable to meet Sue's eyes, her face flaming, she mumbled, "Um… I only lost my virginity three months ago."
"I know," the woman replied gently, surprising her. "Jacob told me."
Bella looked at Jacob. "But…" She trailed off as his expression remained the same, pinched and stressed, almost unreadable. "I don't understand," she admitted.
Sue sat on the edge of the bed and Bella felt the warmth of the woman's body against her hip, but strangely she still felt little else. Sue reached over and smoothed the hair from Bella's face, a clearly motherly gesture, and then she reached her hand back and gave Bella a meaningful look. She felt nothing, so she looked.
Under Sue's hand was something Bella didn't immediately recognize: a strange mound where her stomach should have been, pressing so hard against her shirt that it distorted the logo on its front. Then, as though her senses were belatedly waking up, she suddenly felt everything- not just Sue's hand on her stomach, but also a terrible pain that seemed to start at her neck and radiate all the way down to her toes. She felt awful, like her body was sluggish and bloated, but at the same time she felt gaunt and terribly sick.
She also felt hungry, but that word was so pale in comparison to the feeling itself- not even starving would do. It wasn't her stomach that was craving the food, it was her whole body, as though ever cell and every piece of tissue was famished and wasted away, craving sustenance. It was a horrible feeling.
Everything felt wrong, so wrong that she barely knew which part of her body felt worst, or most alien. It was as though her brain had been transplanted into some other person's body, someone on a much different life path, and she was stuck there, feeling everything this stranger felt. The metaphor of being hit by a truck did not even come close to describing how horrific she felt. She imagined this must be what it felt like to be terribly ill with cancer or something, and yet she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was alive. Not a vampire, and not becoming one either.
Then, suddenly, there was a tiny movement under Sue's hand. Like the flutter of a fish against the bottom of your feet, or the wind lifting the hair at the back of your neck, it was almost too subtle to feel, and yet it was there. Bella stared down at herself, her lips parting in awe at what she had felt, almost holding her breath waiting for it to happen again, not quite sure if it had been real. She felt tears welling in her eyes at the incredible feeling. But then it did happen again- only this time, the kick or jab was much stronger, and a sharp pain accompanied the movement, so overwhelming that it momentarily took Bella's breath away. The tears in her eyes doubled from that pain.
Sue rubbed her belly gently. "Hey there," she said softly. "Let's not give your mother a harder time than she needs right now." She drew her hand back, giving Bella a soft smile.
Again, the same stab of pain, but this time Bella saw the movement too, the outline of an elbow or maybe a knee rising grotesquely outward under her shirt, a bizarre ripple that looked as unnatural as something out of a science fiction movie. Bella bolted upright and backward, almost falling off the table in her haste, as though she could leave her belly behind her. Jacob caught her shoulders with an arm and steadied her as Sue stood again, catching her hand. The feeling of the woman's soft skin and warm fingers squeezing around hers seemed foreign, and Jacob's arm seemed like a terrible weight looming over her instead of the protective embrace it was meant to be.
She found herself unable to catch her breath, and her heart seemed to be working harder than it should have just to fuel that one movement she'd made. Nausea slammed into her like a physical force and it took everything she had to swallow it down again. Her mouth felt suddenly wet and she felt an iron taste on our tongue, belatedly recognizing the nosebleed only when she touched her fingers to her face and they came away bright red.
"Bella," Sue said, her voice calm as she reached for a box of tissues and pulled a few out, pressing them into Bella's hand. Bella held them against her nose, her head swimming suddenly with dizziness.
"Listen to me," Sue was saying, as though shouting down a very long tunnel, not right next to Bella's ear as she knew she was. "You need to sit down. Your body is in shock and if you move too quickly, you're going to pass out." Bella's hand faltered as though exhausted from the exertion of holding the tissues upright, and Sue deftly took over, pressing hard on the bridge of Bella's nose until the bleeding stopped.
Overwhelmed and terrified, Bella's face crumpled and the blood soon washed away with a torrent of tears, ruining her shirt even more than her swollen abdomen already had. Sue sat down on the table, pulling Bella into her arms, not worried about the blood in the slightest, and she ran a hand through her hair soothingly, making quiet sounds to help Bella calm down.
Bella's eyes drifted to where Jacob stood nearby, stiffly watching them, his face a mystery. She met his eyes, and in them she could read so many things. He was scared, angry, confused, and so achingly hurt, but she didn't know how much of those emotions were because of her, how much because of what was happening, and how much for other reasons. As comforting as Sue's presence was, Bella wished she and Jacob could have a moment alone together. Only she wondered if he would even talk to her.
After a long moment, when Bella was calmer, Sue let her go, but she stayed sitting on the table with her. "We're not sure how this is possible," Sue told her. "Tell us everything that happened between you and the vampire." Rumour had it that when Harry Clearwater died and Sue took his place on the tribal council, she'd found out everything and she'd taken it all remarkably well. It seemed to be true, as the word 'vampire' crossed her lips without even a hesitation. But Bella still didn't understand why she was asking her that question, what exactly Edward had to do with any of this, or how this could be happening to her.
"Bella, you've got to tell us," Jacob said, the first thing he'd said to her since she'd woken up. "What did he do to you?"
But she wasn't sure herself. Her memory failed her- she remembered parts of what had happened… the sex, mostly. Suddenly feeling awful, Edward's fear, and then blacking out. She wracked her brain for any other information, and felt an odd sense that more had happened, that she hadn't completely passed out. She had a distinct picture of Edward's face looming over her, yelling, and she could hear her own voice screaming in pain. But where had that come from? When was that, and why couldn't she remember everything if she'd been awake? Had it been a dream? What had happened to her?
Sue and Jacob were both waiting expectantly, but she had no answers for them… not really. Bella felt the most overwhelming sense of agony, not just physically but emotionally, and she was terrified. It was too much. She had to figure this out. She needed air. Shaking her head, which in itself was painful, she pulled away from Sue's grip on her hand and made a beeline for the door. She didn't know where she was running to, but she just had to get out.
As soon as she started moving she felt the edges of her vision blurring and she was aware that they had both followed her and were speaking to her, but their words sounded muddled and far away. Her legs felt like lead, and they wobbled, buckling under a new weight they weren't prepared for. For a moment she felt like she couldn't catch her breath, and then she suddenly leaned as she heaved, emptying the contents of her stomach onto the floor. Vaguely she was aware of someone's hands holding her hair back, and that was the last impression she had before she fell into the depths of unconsciousness and fainted into Jacob's arms.
This time when she woke up, she was at home. She didn't know who had moved her or how much time had passed, but for a long, blissful minute she was sure everything that had happened had been at terrible dream. Then she felt it again, the frightening and painful jabs of knees and elbows just under her skin, and the agony of a body that had changed much more radically than nature should have ever allowed. She put her hands on her belly, pressing them there as though she could will the thing inside to stop and leave her alone, as though she could deny its existence even as it proclaimed its presence to her as blatantly as it could. Yet part of her was fascinated by its zest for life, its determined little presence, even if was hurting her, even if it was sucking her body dry. Her hands were terribly thin, and as she touched her face her cheeks seemed almost sunken, much less full than she remembered.
To ignore what was happening in her body, she turned her head toward the door and saw her father slumped in a chair next to it. Outside, it was dark; she wondered how long it had been since she was in the clinic, and since she was with Edward. For a long time she did nothing, said nothing, wanting to prolong this moment for as long as she could, that happy place before reality had to be acknowledged and addressed. Right now, she was as she should be but never could be again- unchanged. Unaffected. Free.
Finally she forced herself to say, "Charlie."
He bolted awake as though she'd shouted, though she'd said his name almost as a whisper. He was next to her bed in an instant, onto his knees with his brown eyes fixed on her, his forehead knitted together in concern. He looked about as bad as she felt, which made her feel a bit better; there was a time and a place for the people who loved her to be strong, but sometimes it was good to know that someone else was as scared as she was.
"Hey, Bells," he said gently, pressing his fingertips to her forehead for a moment before pulling them back and resting his hand on her forearm. "How are you feeling?"
She had to consider her answer for a long moment; never had such a question been so loaded. She opened her mouth to answer him, but instead of words a sob snuck out and then she couldn't stop, she was crying and shaking. Charlie gathered her into his arms and held her tightly until her tears had transitioned into soft, hiccupping gasps, until she had nothing left to cry, but she didn't feel any better.
Finally she choked out, "How?"
She both heard and felt the long breath of air that spread out of his chest and into the air between them. "Jacob and I had a big talk earlier while you were sleeping," he said. "He told me some things I couldn't believe."
Her heart froze, then released almost immediately. "Couldn't, or don't?" she asked quietly.
"Well, Bells, I'm looking at my daughter, who I saw yesterday, who's now almost ready to deliver my first grandchild, whose boyfriend is telling me about werewolves and vampires… I guess I have to believe it, don't I?"
She was both relieved and terrified at his answer. "Dad… I'm sorry I couldn't tell you."
He held up a hand. "Let's just skip all that, Bells," he said gently. "I wish you had, you felt you couldn't, and I can't really blame you. So we're good."
"Thanks," she whispered. It was a classic Charlie response, and it soothed her to know that some things hadn't changed, at least.
"So listen," he said, getting up from his knees and opting to sit on the edge of her bed instead. "Jake's asleep downstairs on the couch. I've called in sick to work. Let's just take it easy today, I'll make a big breakfast in the morning, and we'll figure all this out together. How's that sound?"
"What time is it?"
"Just about 3:00am," he answered, a yawn escaping even as he said it.
"Go to sleep," she said immediately. "I'll be fine."
"Bells," he answered. "I can stay right here." He gestured absently at the chair, which looked like it would be about as comfortable as sleeping on a rock, so she shook her head. He eyed her suspiciously. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah," she said. "Absolutely. It's fine. I'm tired."
He hung around for another minute, but finally decided to trust her, and nodded. "Alright," he said. "Well you know where I am, if you need me."
"Sure," she said. "Of course."
"Goodnight, Bells," he said gently before closing her door behind him. She said nothing, did nothing, while she listened to him breathing as he stood just outside her door for a long moment before she tracked his footsteps into his bedroom and the squeak of his mattress as he collapsed onto the bed. Finally, only after enough time had passed that she could be sure he was asleep, she swung her legs over the side of her bed and stood up.
Lancing pain swept through her body so suddenly that she had to gasp to catch her breath, and she stood double as her chest heaved with the effort. Even the light shirt she wore seemed heavy on her chest, as though her lungs couldn't function at the same capacity as they once had. Taking slow, shallow breaths, she managed to get to a place where she no longer felt like she was suffocating, and she staggered to the wall by her door, grasping for the light switch. Again she had to stand for several moments in the newly brightened room, struggling not only for breath but also for balance as her body seemed unable to cooperate with her movements, swinging her wildly one way or another with each step she took.
Finally, taking three times as long as it should have, she stood in front of her mirror, feeling like she'd run a marathon. Both arms were wrapped around her stomach, supporting the massive weight that had grown there almost literally overnight. It seemed as though she was staring into a photo, like her head had been pasted onto someone else's body, someone with a much different life. The huge mass she held in her arms seemed not to be a part of her body at all, and she had to force herself to pull her shirt up and look at it.
Angry, dark red lines crisscrossed her belly like a deep wounds, and the gentle dip of her bellybutton had been replaced with a hard knob. Her stomach was distended, sticking outward in a protrusion that looked very much like she had swallowed a good-sized watermelon. Her back had buckled under the pressure and had a distinctive curve. As she stared at her abdomen, which she knew was hers but which still seemed somehow unreal, another sudden movement sent a ripple of peaks and dips across the surface of her stomach. Bella shoved her shirt back down and backed away from the mirror, as though what she was experiencing could be escaped if only she couldn't see it.
Her back collided with someone who was standing close to her, and a pair of icy hands closed over her shoulders, catching her as she staggered and keeping her on her feet. "Bella," Edward's smooth voice sounded in her ear, choked with anguish. "I'm so sorry."
Her tears started immediately and she whirled, tucking herself into his arms, which wrapped around her and held her close for a moment before suddenly releasing her. He took her by the hand and helped her to the end of her bed, easing her into a sitting position. Her whole body ached, but now it seemed concentrated low in her body, almost in the bones themselves, as though the ligaments and structure that held her legs to her torso had become sluggish and inadequate to manage even a few steps.
The tears were still slipping down her cheeks in gentle waves. "I can't believe this is happening," she whispered, not wanting to wake Charlie. "Edward…" She said nothing more than that, his name alone soothing to her.
He sat down next to her, giving her more space than was usual, she noticed. She looked at him, but he wouldn't meet her eyes. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I'm so sorry, Bella."
She realized how hard it must have been for him to see her like this, so pregnant, as inexplicable as that situation was, and she reached for his hand, threading her fingers through his and squeezing tightly. With her other hand she wiped the tears from her face. "Edward…"
When she said nothing further, he finally looked at her, the hesitation obvious in his golden eyes. He raised a hand, his fingertips tentatively sweeping over the curve of her cheekbone. That light touch wasn't enough comfort, and Bella threw herself into his arms, feeling his immediate reaction as his body went ramrod straight and he started to pull away from her, but she insisted, holding him tighter to her body. She cried softly into his chest, clinging tighter as he tried to extract himself from her grip.
"Bella," he said, gently but with insistence. "Jacob is awake. He'll be up here in a second."
"I don't care," she bit out, and even as she said it she knew how childish she sounded. Edward reached back and grasped her wrists in his hands, forcing her arms apart so he could push her away, just as her bedroom door opened. Jacob stood in the doorway, his eyes narrowed on Edward and his lip already curling up in an angry sneer.
"How dare you come here!" he snapped, as loudly as he could with Charlie sleeping just down the hall. He stepped forward and stabbed his index finger into Edward's chest. "If you don't get out of here right now, I will kill you. I will rip you limb from limb. Don't you ever come near her again."
"Jacob!" Bella gasped at the venom in his words. But Edward stood up, and with a quick flick of his eyes in her direction, he was gone. Bella felt her body deflate as she watched the fluttering of her curtains, the only sign he'd ever been there. Then she turned her attention back to Jacob, his fists clenched at his side, his whole body trembling as he obviously tried very hard not to shift into wolf form. She stayed silent, not wanting to break his concentration, but it seemed like a lifetime before he let out a shuddering breath and sat down heavily on her bed.
He didn't look at her as he said softly, his voice full of pain, "How could you let him come here?"
"I didn't," she protested. "He just showed up."
"You know what I mean," he said flatly. "How could you let him stay?"
She opened her mouth to defend herself again, but as though physically cutting off her voice, her guilt rose up, threatening to choke her. He knew; she could see it all over him. "Jake," she managed. "I'm so sorry."
He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as though willing himself not to be affected by her pain, but he seemed to lose that battle as he finally turned to her and gingerly put his arms around her. "Bella," he whispered. His voice sounded terrible, like it belonged to a broken man.
"I don't understand what's happening," she managed between sobs.
"What happened between you and Edward?" Jacob whispered. She could tell from his tone that he was asking a question to which he already had the answer, and he wanted nothing more than to be wrong. Bella met his eyes with great difficulty and saw the naked anguish there; she had hurt him so many times, but this went beyond all of it. She had made a conscious choice to betray him, and somehow there had been real consequences, far worse than anything she could have ever imagined.
"Jacob," she said softly, but her voice broke on his name and she fell silent, unable to continue.
"Did he rape you?" he asked in that same quiet voice.
"No."
He gritted his teeth and forced out, "Did you sleep with him?" Her silence was answer enough, but he didn't leave like she expected him to. He stayed right where he was, though his arms dropped from around her. "Bella, I can't believe you could do that to me. Even after everything… I never thought…" He trailed off, shaking his head, and she watched as a single tear made its way down his soft brown cheek. That one tear broke her heart, and all her planned explanations of her fear at being left alone again revealed themselves as exactly what they were: ugly excuses for her own weakness.
"Jacob, please," she whispered, though she knew she had no right. "Please tell me what's happening."
"I don't know," he admitted, his voice bitter. "Sue thinks you're more than seven months pregnant."
"But that's impossible," she pointed out redundantly.
"I know," he answered. "Edward did something to you." His eyes flickered to her belly, then away, and she realized it was almost as hard for him to look at as it was for her.
She started to defend him, and the words 'he didn't mean to' were on the tip of her tongue, but she bit them back, knowing just how Jacob would react. And how could she blame him? What other explanation was there but that Edward was responsible? So instead she tried to make a constructive suggestion. "Maybe Carlisle has an idea."
Jacob let out a small, humourless laugh. "You're not going anywhere near any of those ticks. How do you know you won't speed forward to the end of your pregnancy and give birth in their living room, Bella?"
She hated being told whom she could and could not see, but she held her tongue. "Then you go," she said. "Or send Sam."
"My dad is contacting Abi," Jacob said. At her surprised look he continued, "They've been around for a long time, Bella, and they've interacted with vampires in the past. They might have seen something like this before."
"Carlisle's been around for a long time too," she insisted.
"I'm sure Edward's already asked him," he answered bitterly. "No one's tried contacting us with any information."
"Well maybe that's why Edward came here, but you scared him off so fast I guess we won't know, will we?" she snapped.
Jacob turned a dark glare on her. "Are you seriously defending him to me?" he bit out. "After all of this? After what he did to you?"
Bella cringed, realizing again how wrong she was. "I don't know what he did," she admitted in a tiny voice.
Her fear seemed to deflate some of his anger, but it still crackled under the surface of his eyes. "I can't even stand to look at you," he whispered, glancing away from her. Her heart sank and she reached for the blanket, putting it over her belly so she would seem less disgusting to him. Jacob's lips curled into something akin to a sneer. "It's not that. It's you. What you did."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes dropping to the floor.
"Are you sorry?" he challenged. "I mean, really? I gave up everything for you, Bella. What have I ever asked you to give up?"
"I know," she said. "I know that."
"And now…" he trailed off, shaking his head. "God, I don't even know what to think now. This is all so fast."
"Yeah," she agreed softly, tears building in her eyes, but she struggled not to let them fall, worried they would only anger him. "You're telling me."
Jacob turned to her and reached out tentatively towards her hand. It took a long time for him to actually touch her, but she just sat there quietly, letting him have that time. Finally, his fingertips lightly brushed her skin. "Bella," he whispered. "I never thought you could… would… hurt me like this."
She raised her eyes to meet his. "I've made a terrible mistake."
He inhaled, and then let the breath out slowly. "Don't think I can just forgive this," he said.
"I know."
"But I can't walk away either, can I?" he whispered, but the way he asked the question it didn't seem like he really wanted her to answer. His eyes trailed to her stomach. "I never thought in a million years I'd be a teenage father. How stereotypical of me." A soft smile touched her lips but it faded as Jacob stood and paced to the window. "Sam will talk to the Cullens," he said. "In the morning you should pack a bag and move in temporarily with Emily. The Rez is the safest place for you right now."
"I'm not afraid of them," she said softly.
Jacob turned back to face her and stood there for a moment, just staring at her. Then he closed the distance between them in two steps and seized her around her upper arm, wrenching her onto her feet. Firmly he placed his other hand on her belly and was rewarded with a firm kick that surprised them both, pain lancing through Bella's body in response, momentarily stealing her breath as she panted through it.
He was staring at her body, how changed it was, and she could see the darkness in his eyes as he struggled to come to terms with what this all meant. Slowly, his dark brown eyes met hers, and she almost drowned in the hesitation in that gaze. "This is my child, isn't it, Bella?" he asked, his voice breaking a little in pain.
The words cut deep, but she knew she had no right to expect his trust. Then, belatedly, she realized what he was really asking- the thought hadn't even occurred to her. Did he think Edward could be the father? Vampires were dead, so they couldn't get anyone pregnant, right? She looked back at Jacob, and noticed that behind the uncertainly and sadness in his eyes was a deep horror that terrified her. She couldn't speak, and he seemed to realize that she wasn't going to answer him.
But what were werewolf babies like? She'd been led to believe they were just normal people, until they transformed. And none of the pack had made the shift until… Bella suddenly shuddered. Until the Cullens had come back to Forks and their proximity had set the first ones off. James and the others had taken care of the rest. But they were all past puberty by that point. Wasn't that a requirement? She realized how little she, or anyone, knew of the logistics of shapeshifting.
"Please," he whispered. "I know this is a lot to take, but please let me protect this child." Slowly he raised his dark brown eyes to hers, and they were so full of pain that it physically hurt her. "And if this isn't my baby… then let me protect you, Bella. Just please let me do that."
She couldn't argue with him; even now, he had her best interests at heart, and maybe he still loved her regardless of how badly she'd hurt him. With a small nod, she agreed to his terms. She thought he was going to climbed into bed with her, and she wanted him desperately to do that, but instead he just nodded, turning and walking from the room and leaving her alone. Bella sank into her blankets, exhausted, even though she knew Jacob wouldn't sleep a wink.
