CHAPTER SEVEN
James' Despair
"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen. . .nobody knows my sorrow. . ." James moaned, and took another pull at the Firewhiskey bottle.
"Shut up, I've got a headache," Sirius groaned, throwing a pillow at James' head.
"Ow," James weakly exclaimed, but the pillow hadn't touched him.
"We've got to do something about you, mate," Sirius said, struggling to sit upright. "We can't hide in this dormitory forever."
"Why not?" James whined, with yet another pull at the Firewhiskey. "There's no point to life anymore."
Sirius stared at him blankly. "You're really hung up on losing her, aren't you?"
"Yes," James replied, sitting up a little in his chair.
"But she hated you," Sirius pointed out, as all best friends should.
"She didn't hate me then!" Another drink. "She does now." Drink.
"You need to mind your consumption," Sirius noted. "How will she ever love you if you're dead?"
"You think this is a joke? That my current endless spiralling despair is funny? Well, it's not." With his final sip, the bottle was as empty as James felt. "Stupid prank. . ." Suddenly, he realized what had been in front of him all along. It was his fault. "I did this! We did this!" Angry in his revalation, he glared at Sirius. "You did this to me!" With a moan of complete despondency, he sank into the armchair and covered his face with his hands.
Sirius was unwilling to leave him like that, but they did have classes. Gently, he prodded the black-robed mass that had been James. "Are you coming to class?" he asked.
"Never!" James proclaimed, then went back to his sullen inner torment.
"Okay. . .see you at lunch." Sirius turned to leave.
"Just bring me up something," James muttered.
Sirius stopped. "You're not coming to lunch, either? James, I-"
"I know what's best for me. And what's best right now is for me to stay as far away from. . .from. . .Snily. . .as possible."
"'Snily'?"
James sighed. "It's a contraction of Snape and Lily. Snily."
Sirius stared at him, then grabbed the empty Firewhiskey bottle. "No more for you today."
James cast his bloodshot eyes up at Sirius. "Please?" And then he passed out.
"Sleep tight, James," Sirius murmured as he left the dormitory.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"Is he still up there?" Remus whispered to Sirius during potions.
Sirius nodded. "Sadly, and a right state he's in, too. Drunk and crying. Misses Lily something terrible."
"But they weren't together!" Remus pointed out, slicing his mandrake roots finely before adding them to his cauldron.
"James felt that eventually she would change her mind. Now he knows she won't." He, too, was cutting roots, though not with the precision of his friend. "Even I feel bad for him, and that's saying something."
"Considering that you have no compassion for human beings whatsoever," Remus said, accepting the fact with disdain.
"Exactly!" Sirius replied, though a bit too loudly, earning him a pointed look from Professor Slughorn. "We have to do something about it, and fast. I can skip charms, nothing but rubbish lately." And once again, Slughorn gave him a look that was completely ignored by Sirius.
"What is it exactly that you suggest we do?" Remus asked warily.
"That's the thing, I don't know yet!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Mr. Black," Slughorn addressed, clearly pained that this had become necessary.
"Yes?" Sirius replied graciously.
"Please. A dull roar would do just fine," Slughorn jested in an attempt to make the situation more comfortable.
Sirius flashed his famous smile and winked at the professor. "But, of course," he agreed, then turned his attention back to Remus. "Do you have anything?" he asked the prefect, so desperate for a plan that he turned to the only one of the four unlikely to come up with something good.
"Not really," Remus admitted.
"There has to be something. . ." Sirius muttered, but the consumption of his energy was taken by the potion, and an idea did not even come close to registering in him until the end of class.
"Mr. Black? Mr. Lupin? Could I see you for a moment?" Slughorn requested at the end. Both boys approached Slughorn's desk. He handed Sirius a note. "Please, give that to Mr. Potter. It is a sad necessity, I'm afraid."
Sirius smiled again. "Of course." As he left the dungeon, he, of course, opened the envelope clearly marked "private."
Remus groaned. "Oh, how did I konw you were going to do that?"
But Sirius only grinned. "Bingo."
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Sirius threw back the curtains and pulled back James' blanket. "Up," he commanded.
"Go away," James said half-heartedly. "I'm not done wallowing yet."
"Oh, yes, you are. You have remedial potions tonight," Sirius replied.
"Wonderful," James groaned. He covered his eyes with his hands. "When?"
The other Gryffindor checked his watch. "In about ten minutes."
James' groan deepened. "With Slughorn?"
"No." Sirius gave James a look of the deepest sympathy. "With Lily Evans."
At the mention of her name, James shot up in his bed. "You've got to be kidding me." When Sirius didn't smile or show any signs of joking, James looked vaguely panicked. "Ten minutes?! Lily Evans?!" He jumped from his bed and began pacing, tearing at his hair with his hands. "What the hell should I wear?"
Sirius grabbed a hold of James' shoulder and shoved some Hogwarts school robes in his arms. "Try your uniform."
