A/N: Here we go, chapter seven after a long delay. Wait…seven?! Woah, I had no idea it was this much already! Albeit each chapter is really short…

CHAPTER SEVEN—THE INTRIGUING SHIP-SHAPE SHOPS

"Hellooooo, I'm—"-duck!-"—Canas, your guide—"-dodge!-"--to the strange and mystical world of—"-dive!-"—Fire Emblem…! EGAD, will you not just let me make a documentary?"

Finally fed up, the purple-haired shaman on the screen pulled a Flux out of his sleeve and completely obliterated the pirate in front of him.

"I say," he breathed, dusting off his hands after slipping the tome back into his voluminous sleeve, "These enemies truly are a nuisance. All I want to do is make a documentary about something QUITE intriguing, and—"

"Look out!" a voice yelled as a mercenary rushed for Canas. The shaman jumped with a squeak of surprise before turning and running away across the deck of the pirate ship, yelling something about being a scholar and not a warrior. A cavalier with a mop of teal hair took his place to fight the mercenary.

"Ah, good man," Canas declared. He gestured towards the cavalier. "Here we have Lowen. He's quite a faithful chap, dedicated to his duty and his liege and all that, and no one disputes that he has a bit of skill…" The shaman put a finger to his nose knowingly. "However, it's obvious that this young man's REAL skill lies in that…he manages to get around even though he simply CAN'T know where he's going! I mean, honestly!"

Canas hurried over and jumped on the back of Lowen's horse—rather nimbly, for someone bedecked in heavy shaman clothing. Then he proceeded to hold up a fistful of the cavalier's hair. "As you can see, it's incredibly thick and quite an unusual color…almost outlandish, really."

Canas' wife stared at her husband's own bright purple hair, her eyebrow raised.

"Of course, even that is excusable…that earlier cleric, Serra, for example—she has unusually colored hair," Canas plowed on, unaware of his innocent hypocrisy. "What REALLY makes this Sir Lowen a wonder is that his hair is SO LONG!" Canas gave the cavalier's hair another tug. "It completely covers his eyes…it's quite a wonder that this young man has ANY idea of where he's going. And still somehow he can…it's most intriguing, really."

"Excuse me?" Lowen said, grunting as he ran through another pirate with his lance. "Uh…it's kind of hard to fight with you yanking my hair, sir…"

"OH! My apologies!" Canas quickly hopped down from the horse and Lowen proceeded fighting with those awesome I-can't-see-where-I'm-going skills of his. "Carry on old chap…"The shaman grinned at the camera. "Ah well…there's still lots more to explore, and just on this ship along, I'm sure!"

He snapped, and Camera Blob winked out.

"Now then," said the shaman aloud, glancing at his surroundings. He was on the deck of a pirate ship, which was being besieged by two other ships at the same time. Four planks connected the three ships, and a steady soldier had been sent to guard each plank. Since Canas realized he hadn't been much help to Lowen, he was beginning to fear that he would distract the other soldiers guarding the other makeshift bridges onto the ship. Therefore, he decided to stay away from them. Instead, he turned around to find two strange openings into the ship's cabin.

"I say!" Canas exclaimed, peering at them both. "It simply can't be…"

Oh, but it could. As Canas hurried toward the two doorways, he realized that…one was a shop, and the other was an armory.

"Shops on a pirate ship!" he gasped in wonder as he snapped his fingers. Camera Blob swirled into view.

"Hellooooo, I'm Canas, your guide to the strange and mystical world of Fire Emblem! Here we behold a Wonder of the World. The first Wonder is, of course, the Rare and Endangered Pansy. This second Wonder, as shown here, is one of the most handy and clever ideas known to man—putting shops on a pirate ship!" The shaman scuttled back and forth around the shops, earning himself a couple of strange looks from the owners of the two stores.

"Now, why would there be shops on a ship, you ask?" Canas said to the screen.

"I didn't…" his wife started to say, until Hugh kicked his feet against the edge of his seat in excitement and bellowed "WHY WHY WHY!"

"To the untrained eye, this must seem like the strangest thing possible to have on a pirate ship. It's just RANDOM, as if some Magical Game Designer in a land Far Far Away decided that some person termed something like…well, let's just give them the randomly selected given name of 'n00b'…as if this All-Powerful Designer decided that the 'n00b' would need these random shops, to provide them with items and healing magics." Canas waggled his finger knowingly. "However, it's very plain to see that there's obviously a good reason there are so many items here."

He threw out his arms and exclaimed, "It's a PIRATE ship! Honestly, these pirates must go pillage places all the time! Therefore, they would have tons of their so-called 'booty' aboard this ship!" He suddenly grew pensive, stroking his chin. "Yet that doesn't explain how these items came to be in STORES, being SOLD as if we were in a market on land…"

"Hey," the bearded armory manager said in a gruff voice, "Are you going to buy something or not?"

"I'm THINKING, old chap!" Canas retorted indignantly. And so he thought a bit longer, until his purple eyes lit up with a sudden idea.

"I say! Logically, of course…if someone is selling items on a pirate ship, they must be a…PIRATE! And, as we are able to deduct from the sea-dog masses forcing their way onto our ship right now, pirates are the ENEMY!"

Pleased with his sudden epiphany, Canas pulled out his Flux tome once again and prepared to vanquish the shopkeepers…

Until a fellow purple-haired magic user tackled him, ruining his aim and sending his flux spiraling harmlessly into the ceiling.

"What are you DOING?" the newcomer cried. "They're here to help us!"

"But Erk, they're pirates!" Canas insisted, struggling to his feet. "I must fight pirates!"

"Not the ones that are on OUR side!" Erk shouted back.

Canas blinked, glanced from Erk to the shopkeepers, and whispered, "Ah. Terribly sorry."

"Besides," Erk grumbled, standing up and dusting himself off, "They AREN'T pirates. They're the same Armory Man and Shop Lady we've seen since this whole adventure started."

"That's true!" Canas gaped. "Intriguing! How could they possibly be the same ones?"

"It's easy," Erk snorted, "They…hmm." The mage's eyes widened. "I…I don't know!"

"It seems we have a conspiracy on our hands," Canas declared, failing in all attempts to sound grave because he was unable to mask the excitement in his voice.

A loud "YEAAARRRG!" was heard in the background, and Erk turned to look at the maker of the sound.

"Sir?" he ventured, pointing, "Perhaps we would want to deal with this conspiracy first…"

Canas turned, and Camera Blob swiveled around as well to film the enemy pirates pushing past Lowen and swarming aboard.

"Right," Canas agreed with a nod. "This conspiracy comes first. Out into the fray, m'dear!"

He winked at the camera and snapped. Camera Blob blacked out.

"ENOUGH WITH THE CLIFFHANGERS!" his wife screeched.


A/N: Giving due credit, the idea of documenting how Lowen can see was provided by magebear7 and Phoenix-Kensai…and the idea of shops on the pirate ship was provided by slash89slash. Thanks, guys!

Will Canas ever solve these strange conspiracies? Will Erk ever get a break? Will pirates win the battle? OBVIOUSLY, since both sides have pirates on them! Irregardless…tune in next time to The Expeditions of Canas! (And please leave a review if you're not too busy storming pirate ships yourself!)