A/N: I think this chapter took the longest so far and I am so sorry for that. I had a huge writer's blog. No worries, one more chapter and an epilogue are planned. For now, consider this chapter kind of an aoology gift (wink wink) (I may or may have not included a lot of smut...) Thanks to all of tou who stuck with me so far and put up with all the breaks due to my writer's blocks. Thanks to each and every one of you who read/followed/faved/reviewed. You are all my precious little nuggets. Xoxo
Killian awoke to a warm bed and Emma clutching him tightly in her sleep, the softness of the sheets and her scent of cinnamon making him feel more peaceful than he had felt in days.
Once out of court, he was relieved, but also broken. After many long trials, they pushed Milah's ex, Gold, to his limits and he confessed. However, when he confessed he mentioned every detail of that night. How he found her, how he hit her repeatedly, how he eventually stabbed her and ran. Killian felt as if someone had a tight grip on his heart and was squeezing tightly. That sick bastard had the nerve to smile at the entire courtroom and say that he regretted nothing.
When they finished, Killian rushed back to the flat and packed everything immediately. He was at the airport before he even knew it, not even having called Emma. He was unsure of whether he didn't call because he wanted to surprise her, or simply because he knew she would ask questions. And he couldn't answer any questions. But the single thought of her was the only thing that helped him keep going all those days. The thought of going back home to her and wrapping his arms around her, nuzzling her hair. He bought a ticket back and waited, but the longer the wait, the more he longed for a drink. By the time he was on the plane, he was already drunk. Nevertheless, his eyes never closed, not for a single moment.
He didn't remember how he got in their bed, or even back home in all honesty. He just remembered the moment Emma opened the door and saw him. He didn't spend much time with all the details though, he didn't have the energy. Not when he was finally away from all the pain and the horrid memories. Not when she was finally standing before him, all golden hair and green eyes. All he had the energy to do was hold her, so he did.
So now he could breathe, at last, and know that everything would be okay. Things would work out from now on.
Emma shifted in the bed and bright green orbs stared up at him. She still had that haziness of sleep in her eyes, but she grinned at him and he simply sighed, fingers moving to softly caress her cheek.
"Hello, love." He spoke and let himself relax when she pulled him closer for a light kiss.
"And hello to you. How are you feeling?" she murmured against his lips and that was when he distinguished the dull ache piercing his head. Well, to be fair, it had been a long time since he had got in the state of drunk he was the previous night.
"Slight headache, but I suppose I'll live." He chuckled in reply and Emma eyed him curiously, a tint of worry rising in her gaze.
"What on earth were you thinking? And what exactly did you do, dive into a pool of rum? You said you won, what happened?" she pulled slightly back and eyed him cautiously.
"We did, it was all just… a bit overwhelming, I suppose." It hurt him how Emma's expression distorted into sadness, her mouth gaping as if she didn't know what to say afterwards.
He talked to her for hours, explained in every detail what happened and he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest, as if the burden holding him back was gone and now he could breathe again. Finally.
"I don't want you to feel bad for me, Emma. Besides, I believe this entire effort was actually rather beneficial in the end." Killian's lips curled up slightly, his eyes fixed on the bright green of hers.
"How is that?"
"I finally got closure. And, after all, the person responsible for Milah's death has now received his well-deserved punishment. Do you know how painful and irritating it is to know that the person responsible for a loved-one's death is out there, unpunished and enjoying life? He had gotten away with it, Swan; I bloody loathe him for that. And yes, I had to face my past once again, but now I can finally move on normally. It's over."
"Still, I should have come with you. I'm sorry." She looked down with eyes full of guilt and his heart stuttered in his chest. His hand moved to softly pull her head up to meet his stare, his lips curling up into a grin.
"No need for apologies, love. You were right to feel uncomfortable; I can't blame you for that. But you know what? The fact that you are here now is enough for me. "
Emma was staring at him in shock and before he knew it, she was pressing her lips softly against his, hands caressing his cheeks and moving to rub against his temples. He could discern her subtle scent of cinnamon he was so fond of and he finally let himself relax in her arms. He was home and it was once again her and him. Just the two of them as her lips peppered small kisses at his jaw line. Just the two of them as he flipped them over so he was on top of her. Just the two of them as she sighed against his lips. After everything they had been through it was now just the two of them, so he did as he felt like. He brightly grinned.
They discarded their clothes fairly quickly and Killian was already kissing down Emma's stomach, when the hands she was cradling his head with hauled him back.
"As much as I want this right now, I would rather have another part of your body in me." She whispered, breath uneven, hair disheveled, cheeks deliciously blushed and he couldn't deny her when he crawled back up her body, his gaze always locked with hers.
She quickly flipped them over and, before he knew, Emma was already straddling him, her hips lingering right above his for seconds and then she lowered herself on him. He had missed the feeling of being in her and, as Emma picked up her pace, he moved his hips in tandem with hers, watching her every reaction as if he would lose her in any second. One of his hands rested at the small of her back and the other found one of her breasts, kneading and soothing until she was writhing on top of him. She came with a soft moan taking him along with her as she whispered his name.
Killian pulled her down to him pressing his lips on hers, feeling her quick heartbeat against his own chest when he deepened his kiss. She pulled back and rested next to him, golden, unruly curls tickling his chest as she lay in his arms.
"Swan?" he spoke after a while, receiving a light hum in reply. "I missed you."
"I missed you too."
…
Killian walked into the kitchen, finding a nervous Emma striding back and forth, her eyes moving around the room and the plates on the table to make sure everything was perfect.
"You know, love, walking a hole into the floor is not going to change anything." He chuckled resting against the doorframe. She was so beautiful, she was always so beautiful.
"I just want everything to be perfect. They have invited us over so many times and not once did I find a flaw in anything." She looked up at him, a worried expression still drawn on her face.
"Aye, but today is a celebration, Swan." He paced towards her wrapping his arms around her, his eyes finding hers. "It's not every day that you get your degree." He grinned and she mirrored his expression, finally relaxing in his embrace. "I'm very proud of you." He added and brushed his lips against hers in a short kiss.
"Well, you did return that book to me, that's why." She giggled and he was ready to find her lips once more, when the doorbell rung. Emma turned around quickly shouting a little "they're here" to rush to the door and let David and Mary Margaret in.
"Aye, but at some point Dave has to stop ringing my bell at the wrong time." He murmured to the empty room.
They had a lovely dinner, everything going exactly as Emma had planned (of course the food was delicious). As they all returned to the living room and sat around, pointlessly chatting, Killian realized that things were different. He now did have a family.
"So where is Ruby now that she got her degree? I thought she'd meet us here." Mary Margaret asked and Killian's look snapped back at Emma as he tried not to laugh.
"Well, that is probably something David wouldn't want to hear…" Emma threw her a desperate look.
"You know what; I would find it quite amusing to see his reaction if-"
"No, you wouldn't." Emma interrupted Killian with a glare. Ruby had told them that, after all this studying, she was going to spend the next few days just exploring the bars around the area. Certainly not something her older brother would want to hear. "She's fine and she's having fun, that's all you will ever know.
They all laughed at David's disapproving nod.
-…
After Emma was done with her bachelor's degree, she decided to immediately get started on her master's degree. Meanwhile, Killian was finally working on his last and official dissertation for his PhD, so things were working out well for both of them.
Emma usually visited the library whenever she had the time and stayed there to study (she could get distracted at home...). She was home, pretty much around early afternoon. One day, Killian got distracted by his own books and papers and did not realise how quickly time had passed. When he checked, though, the clock read 8 in the evening and Emma still wasn't home. He tried not to panic, but, as time went by, he found that task all the more difficult.
He tried to calm himself by taking a shower and thinking that she probably ran into an old friend and they were catching up, or something equally safe. However, he couldn't shake those little flickers of fear as he remembered how that was exactly what had happened with Milah the night she died.
Killian turned on the TV to shut off his thoughts, unable to concentrate on whatever was playing. He checked his phone to see the time and it was ten o'clock, no phone calls, voicemails or texts. He couldn't stay put anymore. He moved to the window, searching the roads for any sign of her. The sky was dark and there were obvious grey clouds sprinkled around. The road was wet, it had probably rained, and still no sign of Emma's yellow bug. He pulled the curtain over and started pacing up and down the apartment. His heart was beating a quick staccato against his ribcage. He didn't know what to do. He called her for the millionth time, getting no answer and started seriously considering going out to look for her.
That was when he heard the sound of Emma's keys fumbling with the lock. Killian rushed to open the door, clearly surprising Emma, as she stumbled forward and managed to grab the doorknob and his hand right before her knees hit the floor.
"Heeey! The door's open!" she exclaimed trying to regain her balance and chuckling something resembling a slurred cackle. The scent of rum was clear in her breath as he spoke. She was drunk.
"Swan, where the bloody hell have you been?" He closed the door and scowled her as she stood there, clearly needing some time to understand what he was saying. Her, normally, vibrant green eyes were blurry due to all the drinking and Killian tried to keep on his angry face, ignoring the feeling of relief rushing through him. At least she is alive!
"Why, were you worried about me, honey?" she mumbled moving towards him and peppering kissed on his neck, her hands caressing the back of his head.
"Shouldn't I be?" he asked struggling not to think about how her hands started roaming around his chest and to his back, creeping their way into his T-shirt.
"Nope." She simply said against his skin. "Your eyes are so blue, have they always been so gorgeously blue?" she continued as her lips made their way up his jaw and to his own lips. Before he knew it, his back hit the door and Emma was kissing him fiercely, knocking the breath out of him. One of her hands dove into his sweatpants and boxers, finding him already hard, and started pumping him. Killian gasped, silently cursing as his head hit the wood behind him, his breath already ragged. "I say we have some fun now." She whispered to his ear and he shivered. He couldn't resist her, he could never resist her.
He flipped them around so Emma's back was aligned with the wall next to them. "Alright then. Fun it is." He murmured kissing a path down her neck, moving her loose curls off the way. She was wearing that short dress he loved so much and he didn't find the patience to completely discard it, pulling the top of it down along with one cup of her bra. His hand started fondling and caressing, tugging at her nipple until it was hard, his mouth replacing his hand as he repeated his ministrations on her other breast. Emma arched her back, her hands holding onto Killian's head. Her eyes fluttered closed and her hips started grinding against his, creating delicious friction. That went on for a few more moments.
While his one hand continued focusing on her breast, his other hand moved under her dress, pulling her panties down and moving up again, his fingers finding her sensitive flesh and circling her clit making her hiss.
"So bloody wet." Killian muttered, his fingers teasing her slit, but before he could go further, Emma stopped him.
"You, I need you." She whispered, tugging at his sweatpants and boxers until they were mid-thigh down his legs.
"As you wish" he reached for Emma's bag, which she had thrown on the floor when she entered, finding a condom and putting it on. He pulled her dress even higher on her hips, while Emma wrapped her legs around his hips. Killian pressed her even further into the wall as he slowly pushed into her, both of them moaning at the action. He began to move more experimentally, allowing her to get used to his size, but Emma's hips rocked against him more forcefully as she arched further into his touch. His one hand found her breast again, while the other held onto her to keep her more steady.
"More" she whimpered and he lost every single restraint, pumping into her faster and harder, his hand abandoning her breast and searching for her clit. She came moaning his name and taking him along with her, Killian groaning as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. He gently let her legs down, still breathing unevenly, but Emma took his hand and led him to the bedroom. She pressed him onto the bed and removed her dress and her ruined bra, before climbing on his lap. Her lips met his again , kissing him passionately. She removed his T-shirt and pulled down his pants completely before guiding him into a lying position. She started kissing down his body, exploring him as if she had never had him before, surprising him as he grew hard again groaning at her smart kisses. She returned to his lap and slowly sat down on him, taking him inside her once more with a deep sigh. She was moving fast again, fiercely and passionately, but she suddenly slowed her movements and began rocking against him more gently. Killian opened his eyes (he didn't even realise when he had closed them) and found two green orbs focusing on his features before her gaze locked with his. They came together and Emma rested her forehead against his, hair unruly and breath uneven.
Killian could tell something was wrong, but let it pass for the night, allowing her to cover them up with the sheets and lay in his arms, nuzzling his chest.
"Night." She murmured against his skin.
"Goodnight, love."
...
The next morning, Killian woke up finding Emma sat up at he edge of the bed, staring at the wall.
"What happened last night, love." He spoke, making her turn around to face him. She forced a grin and looked at him before she winced.
"I ran into Neal yesterday."
