Dear lovely and ever so patient readers,

Following the events of Thor 2: The Dark World, our bold hero was quite busy ruling over his new domain. This new responsibility on his part created a conspicuous lack of inspiration on my part. (Basically he wasn't around to pester the daylights out of me.) However, I am very glad to announce the return of my favorite muse and his story.

As a special treat, and partly because I have no wish to be devoured by rampaging critics, I present a humble gift. If you do not know who Martin- Sorry, CAPTAIN Martin Crieff is, then shame on you. (Google Cabin Pressure and then feel free to worship me for introducing such epic mirth.) Anyway, while Sneaky was out pranking Sparky, the good captain held my attention quite handily.

Enjoy.

Signed,

She who is currently the subject of a particularly vicious house destroying fight between two muses (Sneaky and Sleepy) while Ginger cowers in the corner.

"One of us has to do what?"

"You heard me, son. One of you is to marry the ambassador's daughter."

"That tiny little chit? You can have her, brother. One lusty roll and she would break." Thor's off color comment caused both the Allfather and himself to roar with laughter. The ambassador looked decidedly uncomfortable, but he managed to hide it with a wan smile. Loki rolled his eyes and let his mind wander.

"Loki, what is your opinion of the girl?"

"Hmm…" Loki's answering grunt was so ineloquent that Thor looked over in shock. An idea popped into his head.

"So would you want the girl?"

"Mmm…"

Odin looked at Thor, slightly puzzled and the ambassador raised his eyebrow. Thor winked cheerily and put a finger to his lips.

"You would wed her then?"

"Hmm…"

"How about next week then?"

Loki gave a triumphant nod and smiled widely. He was miles away in his own head, having just perfected a piece of magic that had been giving him trouble for almost a week. Thor slammed his hand onto Loki's back in a massive congratulatory pat, shattering his reverie.

"Congratulations, brother!" He bellowed.

"Wait, what?"

Thor was now shaking him by the hand so hard that his teeth jarred up and down.

"You are to wed the lovely Ronan next week! Congratulations!" Loki recoiled from Thor's grip.

"I am doing no such thing. Not in a hundred millennium. I won't do it."

Odin chuckled with the ambassador at his reaction. "Me thinks your son doth protest too much." Wishing to spare everyone further embarrassment, he put out a hand. When the noise died down, he continued.

"I will explain the traditions and protocols that you need to know to court my daughter properly. First of all, normally, a father would choose only one suitor for his daughter, but since there are two of you, we will modify some parts of the normal progression and refer to precedent in others. You will have to compete for her attentions over a set period of time- about four months should be enough. You should have met my daughter at the ball last night, but if you didn't, there will be a formal introduction tomorrow afternoon. Then you will have a period of about a week to get to know her. After that, you must choose a gift for her that you think reflects her. Then, you must each take her for an afternoon outing. Next, you will each treat her to a romantic evening. Finally, the formal proposal is made. After that, she will have thirteen days to consider her choice. Now, during this time, you may not both be in the same room with her. Only one of you may accompany her at any time."

"Formal proposal?"

"Tell her what she means to you, what you love about her, how you will take care of her, what your life together will be like. But don't stick to these things alone. The proposal is your last chance to plead your case because after the ceremony, the girl will not see anyone except for her servant for the entirety of the thirteen days unless she decides sooner. Additionally, neither of you are allowed to talk directly about marriage to her. She knows what is going on, but actually addressing the arrangement is strictly forbidden. You each have a week to choose your gifts after the introduction tomorrow."

The long audience hall was absolutely silent as I was shown in. A tall guard in gold mail and formal helmet opened the great carved door for me, and gestured that I should enter. I hoped that he would come in with me, but he just bowed slightly and closed the door with a soft thump. I took a deep breath to steel myself for the lengthy and very solitary walk up to the dais where the Allfather sat, flanked by his sons. My father stood on the marble floor just in front of the bottom of the stairs. Marshalling my face into a mask of imperturbability, I took the first steps towards them.

I had been peacefully napping in the garden when Khel had come charging through the maze, hollering my name so loudly that I fell backwards into the rosebush behind my bench. As I was disengaging myself and my clothes from the thorns as gingerly as possible, she caught sight of me.

"Oh, thank goodness I found you, my lady! I mean, Ronan. It is almost time for you to be presented to the princes! We must prepare! And I have already picked out a suitable gown. Please follow me, I know a shortcut out of here."

I groaned in aggravation, but I followed her back to my rooms where I found that she had picked out the most ridiculous dress that had been provided for me on my arrival. It was almost entirely gems from top to hem, sparkling and shining so much that it was impossible to see what color the dress had been before it was bedazzled.

"I absolutely and categorically refuse to wear this preposterous dress. Khel, I know you picked it specifically, but it is truly monstrous and I cannot possibly walk the length of that room in this dress. I will either trip and die, or blind everyone with the glare."

Khel smiled slyly, "I thought you would say that. And keeping that in mind, here is your other option." She held out a much more sedately decorated dress in a light dove grey. Normally, I would have judged the neckline a little low and the bodice too intricate, but compared to the first choice, it was far superior. And that had been her aim all along, I realized. I made a face at her for manipulating me so easily.

"Fine. I agree. But I am picking my shoes. The skirt is long enough to cover my feet anyway so it doesn't matter what I wear."

"Deal." Khel smiled widely at me and held out her hands for my thorn and leaf infested clothes.

The dress swayed around my legs and trailed behind me as I walked at a comfortable pace through the empty and echoing chamber. Even though I wore soft, knee length leather boots that I normally used for combat practice because of their thin soles, my steps still sounded through the chamber. I risked a glance to either side of the Allfather's throne. The princes stood tall and straight backed, flanking their father confidently, a study in dichotomy. Where one was tanned and blond, shooting me a huge and slightly suggestive grin, the other was pale with jet black hair and an unreadable expression.

At that moment, I was glad that Khel had chosen grey for my dress. It seemed to be a neutral color, since each prince was decked out in opposing colors. The blond one wore dark blue and bright crimson, while the pale one was draped from shoulders to toes in forest green and obsidian black. I did not wish to start taking sides this early in the proceedings.

At least I had the comforting weight of my jewelry pressing against my collarbones and clinking musically from my wrists and ears. In addition, I wore a simple silver circlet with a single gleaming emerald in the center of my brow. Khel and I had had another friendly squabble about my hair until we finally compromised on a simple clip that would hold my hair off my neck without her having to straighten my unruly curls.

Before I realized it, I had arrived at the dais.