'How are you, Zaizen-san?'
'I'm fine.' Aoi replied politely. She was currently seated in the school counselor's office as part of the agreement not to taint her student record. Truthfully, she thought it was a ridiculous trade-off, but she complied as to not anger her brother. It felt weird being here; like she was implicitly being told that something was seriously wrong with her to have sex with someone she loved.
The therapist, an older woman with greying hair and calming, blue eyes smiled at her patient. She nodded slowly, as if processing Aoi's stupidly simple answer. Aoi felt weird around this person. It didn't feel like she was actually a therapist, but more like an actor playing one. 'And do you know why you're here?'
'Because of my inappropriate behaviour in one of the classrooms.'
'Right... Now, you might think we're judging you and punishing you, but the truth is that we just want to help.'
Aoi wanted to snap back, but resisted her rebellious spirit. 'I see.' she replied robotically. 'Thank you.'
'Now... Have you and Fujiki-san interacted since the incident?'
Aoi nodded.
'Ah... Zaizen-san, do you want to tell me more about your relationship with him?'
'I don't understand how that's any of your business.'
'Well, we're here to address your peculiar... characteristics.'
Aoi frowned. 'So now I'm not normal?'
'To be engaged in intercourse on school grounds... That is socially deviant behaviour, don't you agree, Zaizen-san? Don't you think it's worth investigating your psychological depths to see what prompts you to involve yourself in this type of behaviour?'
'No.' Aoi's tone was angry. 'To both of your questions. Just so you know...' the normally docile student was running out of patience. 'I was a virgin before then.'
The counsellor raised a quizzical brow. Now that was surprising. And perhaps untrue? How could a sexually inexperienced girl bring herself to do something as shameful as screw her classmate on campus? 'That... That's a surprising revelation.'
'Maybe it wouldn't be so surprising if you had just asked me what happened instead of jumping to conclusions.'
The older woman chuckled uncomfortably. 'Ha... Zaizen-san, no one is jumping to any sort of conclusions!'
'Then why am I here?' Aoi pressed. 'Why am I being forced to undergo third-rate therapy during class hours? Why are you guys treating me like I'm sick?'
'Zaizen-san, surely you understand that what you did is not exactly... Err, normal.'
If having sex is a sign of mental illness, half the school needs to be committed to an institution.'
'Zaizen-san-'
'The only difference in my case is that I got caught.' Aoi's tone was unnervingly sharp. 'And that I'm a woman. I bet the principal didn't call Yusaku into his office.'
'You know we can't disclose information about other students.'
'I'm not asking you to confirm or deny because I already know. You expect different things from me because of my gender, but my human desires shouldn't be taken against me.'
'Your actions don't just impact you.' the counsellor raised her brows. 'Realize that while you're in that school uniform, your actions reflect the values of our school. Think of your stepbrother as well; you're the younger sister of a powerful man at SOL Technologies. When you act, think of him. Think of us. Think of the people whose names you carry.'
'I shouldn't have to!' Aoi was visibly upset now. 'I'm my own person!'
The counsellor leaned back on her chair. She took a deep inhale through her nose and pursed her lips. She tapped her pen repeatedly on her clipboard; perhaps a nervous reaction to Aoi's defiance. However, the counsellor knew just as well as the rest of the staff did that there was no way they could actually penalize this student. She was Akira Zaizen's little sister - it would be a blow to the school's prestige if they lost that link to an important member of society.
'I think that's enough for today.' the counsellor grudgingly smiled. This was the only way to handle this situation. If Aoi wasn't going to cooperate, she might as well leave the session. At least she showed up so that the counsellor could report back to the principal that she was attending her required appointments. 'Thank you, Zaizen-san.'
Aoi picked up her bag in a hurry.
'I'll see you next week, Zaizen-san.'
'Yes, counsellor.' Aoi whispered as she made her way out.
The young girl was fuming inside. She was seeing red. Yet again, her agency was being wagged in front of her face by someone who wanted to control her but knew nothing about her. Aoi felt worse than invisible. She felt like she was a mistake. All she wanted was to be unapologetically free. Yet, she had none of that in her life. Akira wouldn't even allow her out of the apartment after sundown, which meant that every single day, she had to go straight home after classes and do nothing but watch as the city lights illuminated a map of the city that she could never explore.
Except she broke that rule the other day, when she slept with Yusaku.
Yes, her brother was upset - but Aoi didn't regret what she did, not at all.
Sure, Emma lectured her - but Emma didn't understand that even though Yusaku broke her heart, that instance of being out of the apartment, freely loving someone in a room that she'd never been in before, walking back home when the sun was actually down; those were memories that Aoi cherished. Even if she was being a bad student or sister or person, she was still free that night.
She wanted to feel that again.
When Aoi walked past the school gates, she reached into her jacket pocket. She whipped out her cellphone and dialled a number that she unblocked a long time ago.
Yusaku had just made it home when his cellphone rang. The caller ID showed that it was Aoi Zaizen trying to contact him.
'I know you're not gonna answer that.' Ai teased. 'You chicken.'
Of course, Yusaku answered the call after that comment. He wasn't about to be made fun of by an AI. Thankfully, Ai knew its masters weaknesses well. Yusaku's biggest weakness was the desire to rise up to challenges. Ai knew that in order to get Yusaku to do anything, it had to threaten him with failure.
'Can I come over?' Aoi asked.
No.
'Sure.' he replied without thinking, knowing full well why she wanted to see him. The anticipation excited him. Against his better judgement, he made plans with her to see her shortly. Despite himself, he still felt an odd rush of happiness.
He loved spending time with Aoi. It was stressful, but it was fun. Whenever he was around her, negotiating how far their relationship could go, he was always thinking about her feelings. He didn't want her to become attached, but he also couldn't find it in him to give her up. He had feelings for her; that much was true. But he wasn't willing to act on them because he wasn't about to trap her into a fruitless life. He was going nowhere, he had no goals other than revenge, and he certainly wasn't a man of worth or prestige that she deserved.
He sucked.
She deserved better, but he wanted her.
Was there anything worse than liking someone you didn't deserve?
And yet, in preparation for Aoi's arrival, he ordered Roboppi to clean the room and he hopped into the shower to cleanse himself. He was by no means dirty, but he wanted to respect Aoi by thoroughly cleansing himself. For his own peace of mind, he couldn't touch her without doing all he could to purify himself. It almost felt sinful whenever they had sex; he felt like he was ruining her, but her eagerness to return his affection was also an expression of herself, of her sexuality, that he was more than happy to enjoy.
Before long, he found himself waiting by the door of his apartment building. It was awkward, but he didn't feel comfortable otherwise. Knowing that she was coming to see him, his room felt stuffy and cramped. After he got dressed, he paced back and forth around his bed uncontrollably. Why was she making him so nervous? So in the end, he settled for waiting by the building. At any rate, she couldn't get in by herself. He'd have to come down at some point anyway.
When he saw her approaching, he swallowed a hard lump at his throat.
He was internally screaming.
She looked so beautiful and he was so unworthy.
Why...
'Thank you for having me over.' Aoi said politely. It was unnerving how detached their conversations were. To Yusaku, it was strange that Aoi still spoke to him with her guard up. He didn't think that his constant rejection of her was a significant factor in that either. That's just how Aoi was; always setting herself a mile away from everyone around her.
It irritated him. It seemed as if to Aoi, the only way to truly connect with her was through affection. But Yusaku wanted something safer than that. After all, he could connect to Kusanagi (and to a lesser extent, Naoki) on a friendly basis. Yet that seemed to be completely impossible when it came to Aoi. Every conversation with her in public was like being poked under a nail with a needle. It was so dreadfully uncomfortable.
And, in a way, Aoi's interactive distance felt like rejection to Yusaku.
'We can go inside.' he eventually responded.
She nodded and they wasted no time in doing just that. Every step up the staircase felt like a gruelling century. Yusaku controlled his pace purposely, trying to give the impression that he wasn't at all eager to get to his room. Unfortunately, Aoi fell for his act. It took a hit on her confidence, but not enough to get her to tuck her tail between her legs and turn around.
One silent question hung unsaid in the air between them; How on earth was this so casual?
It felt robotic; dehumanizingly so. When they got to his room, Yusaku shut the door behind him and immediately met Aoi's lips for a kiss. And somehow, in that instance of physical contact, all the intense feelings that were suspended from conversation suddenly washed over them: Aoi with her desire to be with him, and Yusaku with his internal of conflicting of wanting her versus not being good enough for her.
Those feelings, though they remained unsaid, translated into the way they touched each other. Aoi was passionate and slow, like she wanted to burn the texture of his skin to the back of her mind. On the other hand, Yusaku was erratic. He'd pull her in and then push her away in a split second, like he couldn't decide how he wanted to proceed or as if he was frightened of intimacy. In many ways, he was terrified of Aoi and what she could do to him and his goals.
Aoi discarded her jacket and kissed him with more fervour.
'Wait.' he managed against her lips, but didn't make an effort to stop what they were doing. 'Aoi, wait.'
'Ah, Yusa-'
'Let's talk.'
Intrigued that Yusaku actually wanted to have a conversation, she let go of him abruptly. She stared at him with wide-eyes that held slight hope, but that was lost on Yusaku. He looked back at her with the same detached, cold eyes - but maybe he was just a master of concealment.
'We should have rules.'
Aoi's heart fell.
Then, anger hit her, and it hit her hard. Why did she always have to be confronted by rules? It seemed as though in every aspect of her life, she was a slave to an authority above her. But this guy shouldn't have any power over her head. They were the same age, they went to the same school, and they had essentially nothing to do with each other outside of casual sex. Sure, Aoi had feelings for him... But that shouldn't be perceived as her handing him some sort of control over her!
'Why do we need to have rules?' she snapped. Her face flushed with the heat of frustration. Now this, Yusaku noticed. His brain whirred with a billion hypotheses on why Aoi was reacting with irritation.
'To protect ourselves.' he said calmly.
'From what?'
He shrugged. 'From anything.'
'Yusaku...' she frowned. 'You're not making any sense.'
'One...' Yusaku undid his tie. He wanted to have this conversation, but he also couldn't quell the excitement of being with Aoi again. 'We have to use protection.'
Aoi blushed beet-red. She knew that was going to come up sooner or later.
'Two...' he tossed his jacket to the floor and hastily unbuttoned his white shirt. 'This has to be a secret between us.'
Aoi winced. Well, her brother and Emma knew, but... That wasn't really her fault, so she supposed that didn't count.
'And three...' Yusaku cupped her face. 'Don't say the "L" word.'
Aoi's face fell.
'Don't say the word, "love."'
That stung.
Nevertheless, she nodded and pulled him in for a kiss. He reciprocated passionately; a sharp contrast to the words that had just tumbled out of his mouth.
Despite being rejected by him time and time again, it still felt right to be with him. Though she hated to admit it, maybe this was enough for her. Even if he claimed not to love her back and that he didn't love her, the feeling of love she felt from him when they were together was enough to satiate her. She was confident that he felt her love as well. And if he was constantly accepting it, then he must like her back in some way, right? Aoi didn't know if she was secretly correct or if she was trying to make sense out of an impossible situation, but that's what she firmly believed.
So no matter how many times he said he didn't want her love, the fact that he kept accepting it told her otherwise.
Still, that didn't mean that he didn't cut her every time he spoke so cruelly.
Somehow, they ended up on the bed with him on top of her, trailing hot kisses down her neck. Aoi was still in a daze, but she attempted to feign passion. Her breathing was hard - not because she was excited, but because she was upset - but that difference was lost on Yusaku. She arched her back up to him, knowing that he liked it when she did that. His fingers fumbled with the buttons of her shirt but he managed to get them all in the end. He then faced her and leaned in for a kiss, but she stopped him. He shot her a confused expression. 'Aoi?'
'I don't want rules.' she whispered.
Yusaku didn't answer, but he continued staring at her. She had no idea what he was thinking.
'I mean, the first one is fine.' she admitted bashfully. 'But the rest... Especially the last one...'
'What about it?'
'I don't know.' she turned away because she felt tears prickle her eyes. She shut her eyelids and rolled over to her side. There was no way she could continue this conversation with him. It was hurting too much. 'Sorry about this.'
'Don't worry about it.' he said in that gentle tone of his again; the one he reserved for the moments she loved most. She hated how easily he could switch characters. Was there truly a soft side to him or was he just playing games with her mind? 'What's wrong?'
'Nothing.'
'Tell me.'
'I don't want to talk about it.'
It was true - she was beyond exhausted at this point. Even Yusaku could see that. The sensual excitement left her and now she was practically collapsed on his bed, the stress of recent events in her life finally weighing down on her. She had been dehumanized and objectified in so many ways, but it was the dehumanization from the person she liked that was crushing her.
'Aoi, tell me.'
'You want rules.' she stated with a shaky voice. 'Why?'
'It's irresponsible of us to continue doing this without any rules.'
'Human relationships are irresponsible.' she shot back, her eyes fluttering open. 'It's that unpredictability between two people that makes this a real relationship between human beings. I know we're not seeing each other, but we're both sentient, right?'
'That's why we need rules.' he insisted. 'To make sure that neither of us gets hurt.'
'It's alright to get hurt. As long as every moment we spend together is a true reflection of how we feel, good or bad, then it's fine. You think you don't hurt me? You hurt me so much.'
Yusaku's chest tightened. Her blatant exposure of her own feelings was unexpected. He didn't think that she would outwardly say that he was hurting her. Actually, he didn't think he had hurt her to the point of exhaustion. To witness it in front of him was an experience he was unprepared for.
But what did she expect him to do? He had to get her away from him one way or the other. She wasn't going to listen to reason, so his only option was to push her away by constantly rejecting her. And yes, he anticipated that she would eventually tire of him - but now that she actually was, he was frightened. Was she about to leave him? Why was he fearful of that? Isn't that what he wanted in the first place? Then why was he freaking out? Why were there butterflies in his stomach? Not those nice ones either - the nasty, carnivorous type that were an omen of bad luck.
'If I hurt you, why don't you leave?' he hissed angrily. His defensive, hyper logical side was kicking in again. It was like a learned reaction to Aoi's prodding; the more she poked at him, the more she tried to get close to him, the harder he'd lash out at her. Like she kept stepping on a sore spot, a wound that hadn't closed yet.
'Why don't you push me away completely?' Aoi laid on her back to come face-to-face with Yusaku. 'Do you like me or something, Yusaku?'
His gaze burned into hers. The sincerity reflected in her warm, hazel eyes was warmed his icy soul. The sun was setting, and the orange hues of the sky seeping in from the windows danced in her chestnut orbs like embers hopping on lake water. Aoi Zaizen, he decided, was going to be the death of him. He connected with her in strange, convoluted ways that made him question his life motto of solitude.
I don't need warmth from people, he reminded himself, I don't need friends. I don't have a future. I don't need warmth from people. I don't need warmth. I don't need Aoi.
'Do you like me, Yusaku?'
Aoi didn't wait for him to answer. She sat up and motioned for him to lay down. He did as he was told, and she climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. She discarded her blouse and unhooked her bra, causing her partner's eyes to dart to her chest. She blushed at that. Suddenly self-conscious, Aoi shifted and accidentally brushed against the growing erection in his pants. She squeaked and jumped slightly. Then, she cursed herself in her head. For some stupid reason, she was a hundred times more embarrassed to do this than she'd ever been. Perhaps it was because it was still daylight out, and she knew that the sunlight exposed every bit of her in unforgiving ways.
Yusaku thought otherwise. He didn't think that the time of day would make a difference, but he was totally wrong. With her completely exposed to him under blaring brightness, she had never looked more stunning. For the first time, he could clearly see the immaculate nature of her skin, the feminine dips and curves of her body with just her skirt concealing where they would connect later; he couldn't be more aroused.
'Can I touch you?'
'Don't ask, you idiot! Just do it!' she scolded, her blush deepening. 'It's so embarrassing!'
Yusaku tilted his head and shot her a confused expression. He looked almost offended. 'I just want to make sure that you're comfortable with me.'
'I am.' she insisted.
'So then... Can I touch you?'
She was appalled by his persistence in asking her permission, but she gave him a firm 'Yes' in the end.
With that, he reached one arm out to hook her by the waist and pull her closer. She landed with her palms on either side of his head, but he pulled her downwards so that she supported herself on her elbows. He took one nipple into his mouth, the other being fondled by his free hand. Aoi cried out in pleasure. He was being so attentive and caring that the whole ordeal was mentally stimulating her in addition to the physical, sensual affection he was giving.
Maybe it was a dream manufactured by her wishful thinking, but she thought that maybe him asking her permission to touch her was a sign that he genuinely cared about her. He was essentially handing her control. That couldn't be easy for anybody. At least, it didn't seem that way to the people in her life who always sought to control her.
'Ah...' Aoi whimpered. Her fingers tangled in his hair, tugging whenever he sucked or nipped in a way that made her squirm. Her breathing was laboured her body was trembling. Satisfied with her reaction, Yusaku's hand left her breast to travel around to her backside. His mouth moved from her chest to her neck, where he inhaled that sweetly floral fragrance she always wore.
'You always smell so good.' he said in a soft, husky voice like he was uttering a secret. His grip on her ass was tightening. 'You're driving me insane.'
His words were exciting her. She was now moaning and squirming for absolutely no reason. Her teeth clenched in frustration. It was ridiculous how turned on she was getting just by listening to him. She wanted to have the same effect on him, not realizing that she already did.
Aoi wriggled free of his grasp and sat up on him. He sighed from the pressure. She unbuckled his belt and undid his pants, trying not to look at him in the eye. For some reason, she was incredibly nervous. Not to say that she didn't want this; it was the opposite. She hadn't wanted him with this intensity before.
When she held him in her hand, he propped himself up on his elbows and began a slow slide into a sitting position. Confused, Aoi looked at him with an almost fearful expression. She thought he was rejecting her. It broke his heart.
'Come here.' he whispered, pulling her gently by the arms. She obeyed and climbed on top of him yet again, though he was sitting and she was on her knees. In this position, she was taller than him by a full head. Being bare and in such close proximity to him, she was self-conscious about her body - but he loved it and he was determined to show her that.
He remembered that she liked being told that she was attractive.
'My beautiful baby.' he murmured and she decided then and there that she could get used to this nickname. He reached over to his bedside drawer and retrieved a condom, though his eyes never left hers. His gaze was smouldering and she felt weak under the mercy of vibrant emeralds. Her mouth felt dry the whole time he was donning the protection; they were really going to do it - they were seriously going to have sex again and she was once more going to experience the most intense array of emotions all at once. When he was done, he placed a hand on her waist to guide her, the other on himself so that he could position them properly. She adjusted her panties to the side and felt his tip prodding her entrance.
'O-Oh...' she moaned. The contact was making her light-headed. Would it feel this way with any other man?
'Do you feel good, baby?'
'Ah... Yusaku...'
Yusaku was struggling not to burst then and there. The whole situation was too much for him to handle; Aoi moaning and whimpering while he was teasing her with her sizeable breasts in front of his face. He's never been more aroused in his life.
'Can I put it all in?' he asked softly.
'Yes! Just do it.' she hissed. Her arms wrapped around his neck, where she hung her head. He blushed madly as her breasts hovered right in front of him, closer now.
I like them too much, he thought to himself with some humiliation, Is it stupid to compliment her on them?
'You have a nice body.' he blurted stupidly.
'Thank you.' she breathed and lowered herself on him. 'Ah, ah, uh...' she groaned with every inch she took inside of her. Yusaku's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he held onto her hips. He loved how hot and wet she was for him. He clenched his teeth when he met her end and he felt her tighten around him. His eyes snapped open and darted to her face. She looked half in-pain and half in-pleasure. She was biting her lip and her brows were scrunched together.
'Aoi...' he kissed below her collarbone. 'Does it hurt?'
'Yes.' she whined. 'It hurts so good.'
He couldn't believe that this timid girl was actually saying such provocative things. But more so than that, he was worried that she confirmed that she was in pain. He didn't want her to feel that way. 'We can stop.'
'No.' she smiled down at him. 'I'm just getting used to it. I want to do this with you.'
'I'm happy that you trust me.'
'Really?' her smile widened and her eyes brightened. 'You feel happy about that?'
Realizing his error, but also recognizing that it was too late, his jaw dropped. He let his guard down for a split second and she caught onto it so quickly. 'U-Um-'
'No.' she pecked him on the lips to silence him. 'Don't ruin it.'
She started a slow pace up and down. She moaned with every movement he made, and he matched her with low growls. Aoi threw her head back and looked up at the ceiling, feeling once more that sweet liberation that came with doing exactly what she wanted; a luxury that she couldn't really afford, not while being watched by so many people who wanted to control her. Yusaku didn't want to do any of that. He only wanted to enjoy her. With him, Aoi didn't feel like she had to work for his attention, but rather that he actually demanded it. Even if he didn't love her, the affection that he gave her was pure and accessible.
She was riding that high and she knew she wouldn't last long. It was too much for her; the warmth of his skin, the unrhythmic grunts and groans that tore from his throat, and the surprising vibrancy of his eyes whenever she looked at him - there was no way she could keep herself from coming apart.
'Yes, yes, yes!' she screamed, burying him painfully deep inside of her and reaching her climax. She trembled as waves of pleasure ripped through her. Her pace slowed and she moaned uncontrollably.
Yusaku didn't want her pleasure to end there. Besides, he thought that was incredibly stunning when she orgasmed; he wanted to see that again and again. In one swift movement, he pushed his weight over her so that she landed on her back. Now on top of her, he rode her hard and kissed her wetly on the mouth. Aoi's hands ran sloppily up and down his torso. The texture of his toned muscles flexing and rippling with every movement he made excited her. She reached around to rake her nails down his back, causing him cry out. Still, she didn't stop. She dug her nails into his skin and he took his revenge by thrusting in and out of her with brutal passion.
She enjoyed another release, and he followed soon after. He buried his moans into her lips with yet another deep, loving kiss.
'I'm sorry.' Akira sighed. 'She's usually here by now.'
'That's fine.' another man, about the same age as Akira, smiled from the other end of the table. 'I'm excited to meet her.'
'Good.' SOL's chief laughed politely. 'I hope that we have an understand, by the way.'
'I would never hurt your sister. You know, I want to settle down soon. I don't want to fool around. It's me who's worried that with her being so young, she would want to live out her youth and not get into a serious relationship.'
'The only relationship Aoi should ever have is a serious one.' Akira snapped. 'I hope that when she meets you, she'll realize that a man as established as you is exactly who she needs.'
Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading. I hope to hear what you guys feel about this chapter and as usual, any suggestions are always welcome. I'm coming to a point in this story where I have a few things planned out though, so the next few chapters are generally set in stone. But I guess I never know!
If you have an account, I have replied to you through private messaging. Otherwise, I'll reply to you in this note!
Yujo0147, you were right! Akira is trying to pair Aoi up with someone who he thinks is better than Yusaku. Thank you for all the support you give me.
OWO, that's a really cool idea about Akira and Emma! I'm seriously considering it. If I ever use it, I will mention you! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Ghostkid33, thanks a lot for returning and reviewing! Both Aoi and Yusaku will definitely do some emotional maturing, and the lows are part of them growing up. Your guess was right and it will be played out next chapter!
Thanks to all the guest reviewers who commented and are supportive. Your positive thoughts are really encouraging.
