Soooo, two days later. So sorry. Would you believe me if the I told you that the American Dental Association found out about my story? They weren't very happy, as you can imagine. It was a rather traumatic experience for me, even though I managed to escape with my life...

Yeah...just go with it.


It had been relatively hassle-free getting Eagle out of the camp.

It was everyone's day off, after all, and so most people were still sleeping. Those who did happen to see Wolf and Fox carrying Eagle's lifeless body, completely with head lolling drunkenly from side to side, undoubtedly thought nothing of it. Men frequently got knocked out, winded, or just plain passed out from the rigorous and often hazardous training, so seeing a unit carrying a fellow team member somewhere wasn't exactly unusual.

The small town that we were headed to was about an hour and a half away, and seeing as none of us were exactly in a talking mood, that left us plenty of time for inner reflection. Or, in Snake's case, time to make up a list of things to chew Wolf out for. Apparently, it was quite long, given the way the frown on his face kept getting darker and darker.

"You know, I can't believe you, Wolf!"

And here we go.

Like a gathering storm finally splitting the sky open, Snake's fury was unleashed.

"He could have had a serious reaction to it if he'd never taken anything like that before-"

I groaned quietly, rubbing the bridge of my nose with my thumb. Fox was sitting on the other side, Eagle sprawled out in between us, staring out the window with a glazed look. And Wolf? Well, Wolf had his own little thundercloud brewing above his head. One that capability of raining down a whole lot of hurt

"-what would you have done if he had left early? He could've fallen asleep behind the wheel and-"

When Wolf developed a twitch in his left eye, I decided it was time to step in. I, for one, did not want to have to explain to the Sergeant that we had totaled one of the camp's jeeps because the two people in front had decided to get into a full-fledged, claws-out cat fight.

"Do we even know what dentist he's going to?" I asked much louder than necessary, completely throwing Snake off course.

The expectant silence that filled the jeep, paired with Wolf's hands tightening into a white-knuckled grip around the steering wheel, was enough of an answer for us all.

"Great," Fox muttered, rolling his eyes.

"The town has less than 7000 people," Wolf growled in protest. "How hard can it be to find the bloody dentist?"

"Right, let's just drive around for two and a half hours looking for it, and then when you decide that your ego has taken enough of a beating, we can stop at one of the local pubs and ask the good ole' boys there where the dentist is! I'm sure they never miss their quarterly check up! Bloody brilliant idea, Wolf!"

Whoa, baby. Snake was more pissed than I thought. Perhaps we should invest a little more time into planning our misadventures next go around. I have a feeling it might reduce the chances of a spontaneous WWE Smackdown occurring between the team's two hot-headed members.

"Shut the hell up, Snake! I'll think of something, alright?" Wolf snapped.

"Yes, oh wise one," Snake retorted.

Fortunately for Wolf, and maybe for us all, he didn't have to tax his brain too hard. Fox used the skills he had acquired during his time as a spy and found a crinkled scrap of paper in Eagle's pocket with the address and appointment time.

At 10:20 AM, our little band of not-so-merry men spun into the parking lot next to small white building which, according to the sign, belonged to 'Whiddleberry Family Dentistry.' Wolf, of course, had to make some snide remark about the name, while Snake proceeded to point out that the people inside of 'Whiddleberry Family Dentistry' weren't going to be exactly willing to work on a patient who was stone-cold unconscious. This earned Wolf another glare, which he consciously ignored.

"Should we try waking him up?" Fox asked with a smidgen of desperation. At some point during Wolf's anger-induced erratic driving, a hard right turn had scooted Eagle closer to the man than he was comfortable with. So close, in fact, that Eagle's head was tipped against Fox's shoulder.

And from the angle he was at, Fox couldn't see the tiny string of drool trailing from the corner of the sleeping man's mouth onto the growing puddle on his shirt, either. He'd be feeling it soon enough, though, if I were betting man.

"We can try," Snake said, "though I don't know how coherent he'll be."

"Well, anything would look better than bringing him in slung over Wolf's shoulder like a sack of potatoes," I threw in helpfully.

As it turned out, though, waking someone who had just taken two, fairly-potent sleeping pills was harder than we thought. No amount of poking, pinching, pulling or prodding would get the man to open his eyes.

Wolf finally decided we weren't taking an aggressive enough approach, and went in with a slap to the face. Not a sissy slap, as you can imagine. Wolf only has so much patience.

Be that as it may, you can't argue with results. Before a red mark the approximate shape and size of Wolf's hand could fully form on Eagle's face, the man managed to pull open his eyes.

"Whuzzat?"

"Eagle? We're going to need you to get up, ok?" Snake was talking to him as if he were five-year old who's been hitting the warm milk a little too hard. "Can you do that for us?"

Eagle gave him a glazed look before letting his eyes slip closed again. "I'm sleeping, Snake. Go away." He buried his face deeper into the shoulder serving as his pillow, much to Fox's extreme horror.

Not exactly the right type of bonding there.

"Eagle?" I tapped him on the back. He growled and jerked away from my touch. "Eagle," I leaned in close to him and lowered my voice, "if you don't get up now, I'm going to tell them what you told me in the shower block Monday night." A completely useless threat, but he didn't know that. Drugs will do wonders to one's ability to reason.

"Cuuuuub!" It was the closest thing to whining that will ever be heard coming out of an SAS soldier's mouth. "You said you wouldn't!"

"Tough luck. Either you get up or the unit and I are going to have an extremely interesting conversation at lunch."

"You're a lying, son of a myopic Chihuahua," he muttered, pulling himself into sitting position.

I grinned. "That I am." I opened the door and hopped out, holding Eagle's arm as he struggled to free himself of the confines of the open-aired jeep. He shook my hand off as his feet hit the ground, but luckily Wolf and Fox were there to catch him before the rest of him could too.

"Are we ready?" Wolf asked, flinging one of the man's arms around his shoulders while Fox took the other.

"As ready as we'll ever be," Snake said with a sigh. "They're going to turn us away the second we walk through the door."

I had to agree. It was going to take a miracle for this to work at all.

Or maybe just some mighty fine acting skills.


Guess what? No cavities! Help me celebrate my good oral hygiene by letting me know your thoughts!