Lucas

Brooke's brunette hair swung furiously back and forth as she stormed out of my bedroom. We had made so much progress the day before and I now all of that progress had been thrown out the window. It seemed as though our problems would always be there and we would just have to agree to disagree. It was fine when it was just us, but soon we would have our baby to consider. I didn't want our problems to cause our child any kind of pain. I sat stiffly on my bed, considering running after her. I stared down at the palms of my hands as I threw the idea around in my head. I wasn't going to do it. She needed to explain to me why I was so wrong in what I was doing.

I was confused as to why Brooke was so upset with me. She doesn't need to know my problems because she doesn't need the stress. She needed to stay happy and healthy for our baby. Let me carry the burden of our problems so our baby can come out perfect. I was raised by a woman, and only a woman, so I was the kind of guy that sided and sympathized with one. I felt guilty that she had the burden of carrying my child while I was completely unaffected by it. I needed to take on all of the pain, just so that I could be some what responsible for the pregnancy while she was going through the morning sickness and back aches. So why was she persecuting me for wanting to keep her happy? I didn't understand, and I was feeling as though I would never understand her.

I sighed loudly when I remembered my mother's outburst from the night before. She had caught me off guard by her reaction. I figured she would be mad, but did not think she would react the way she did. I knew she would be disappointed, but to call me a disappointment? A slap in the face would have been better than her calling me a disappointment. She was pregnant though and her raging hormones probably fueled her verbally abusive response. Her behavior lately had been out of character. She was normally the sweet, diligent woman, but lately was rude and indolent.

I went to my closet and started getting dressed. I didn't want to be home when my mom decided to go on another rampage and call me more names that would probably make me cry. I threw on khaki cargo shorts and a white t-shirt. I slipped on flip-flops before heading out my door. It was early in the morning so the dew was still on the ground. The sun was still in the process of rising so orange sun beams could be seen throughout the sky. Birds chirped merrily as they carried on with their business. It was all that my ears could hear except the occasional car driving by.

As I walked towards Peyton's house, I contemplated telling her about Brooke's pregnancy. She needed to know, and I needed to be the one tell her before the news got out at school, and the rumors ran rampant. It would be devastating for her to hear my news from someone else. At the same time, how do you tell your girlfriend that your ex-girlfriend is pregnant by you, especially when the two couldn't bear to be in the same room? My palms started to sweat when the sight of her house was in my view. My legs shook and my heart raced when I arrived at the front door. I stood on the porch and tried calming myself down. I wiped my palms on my shorts, and took in a few deep breaths.

I entered Peyton's house without knocking. She was always home alone, and didn't care if I just walked in. I did, however, knock on her bedroom door before entering. She greeted me with a smile and I kissed her on the forehead before sitting down on the bed next to her. She had been drawing in her sketch pad. Curious, I peaked over her hands to catch a glimpse of the drawing. The sketch wasn't completely done and it wasn't clear what it would be of. Her drawings usually were full of meaning, but there were the occasional few that were just for fun.

"So, what's up?" Peyton asked, smiling widely at me as her eyes sparkled. Her blond curly hair sat gracefully on her shoulders. The urge to reach out and put my fingers through the curls crept through my body, but I pushed the feeling aside. "Why are you up so early?"

"Oh, uh, my mom and I had a fight last night." I shrugged my shoulders and looked away from her, hoping she wouldn't ask me why. The question was inevitable and I tried to brace myself for it by wracking my brain for a response.

"You did?" She seemed surprised. It was rare for my mother and me to fight. It only happened when I acted completely out of line, and this was one of those times. "What did you fight about?" She set her sketch pad on the bed and looked into my eyes, searching for answers. She set her hand gently on my knee to help console me, even though she was nervous about my fight. The apprehension in her eyes was enough to send me over the edge. There was no way I could lie while I was staring into those eyes.

"Um," Lying was not an option anymore. Even a white lie would cause guilt to override my body. Telling the truth proved to be harder than a lie. I shook my leg feverishly and wrung my hands back and forth in my lap. Sweat was starting to drip from my forehead and my heart was pounding once again. "Okay, look, Peyt, this is probably going to hurt you so, if you want to break up with me, I understand but, there is something I have to tell you."

"Okay," Her tone of voice had changed. She was uneasy and fidgeted with her fingers as she pulled her hand from my knee. She flipped her legs over to the side of the bed, so they were now touching the floor. This way she had an easy escape route. She shoved both hands under her legs and turned her head to the side to look at me as she anticipated my news.

"Well here's the thing, this happened before we were together, okay?" Peyton nodded and brought her hands from under her legs to sitting in her lap. "And um, you're probably not going to be too happy about it." I was trying to pad the blow, but there was no way to pad the blow she was about to receive. I scanned the bedroom, trying to keep my eyes from hers as I mustered up all the courage I had and started to talk. "Um, well, Brooke is pregnant." My voice was low and monotone. In a way I hoped she didn't hear it and would just pretend as though she did. I fixated my eyes on the floor as I waited for her reaction. I avoided the eyes that would inescapably be filled with hurt.

"By who?" I finally got the nerve to look into her deep blue eyes. Why would she ask me this when I was telling her Brooke was pregnant? Wasn't it obvious that I was the father? "I mean, she sleeps with so many guys, the father could be just about anyone." I was appalled by her comment. I didn't know how she could say something so horrible about someone she used to call best friend. I tightened my fists as anger over took my body. I could feel my nostrils beginning to flare and the blood rushing to my face.

"Peyton, how could you say that?" I tried to read the expression that was on her face. She was hurt. She was deflecting her pain onto Brooke by convincing herself Brooke was lying. She didn't want to believe I would be in such a predicament.

"It's true, Lucas." She stood up and started pacing, her hands shoved deep in her pockets. "I assume you're going to tell me you're the father?" I nodded my head, not taking my eyes off her. "But how do you know for sure?" She kneeled in front of me so she was at my eye level. Her hands felt cold on my skin as she touched my legs. I didn't know if she was serious, but I didn't like how she was acting. How could she accuse Brooke of lying to me about being the father?

"Peyton, how could you even suggest that?" I felt uncomfortable as she held onto my legs for balance. I stiffened them underneath her touch. Ridding the thought of pushing her hands off my legs, I set my hands over hers. My thumb gently rubbed the back of her hand as I waited for her answer. The thought of being lied to about being a father made me nauseous. I hoped she wouldn't think of doing such a thing, but it was possible.

"Lucas, this is Brooke we're talking about. She manipulates her own parents to get what she wants." She stood up and started pacing around the room again. This time her hands weren't shoved into her pockets; they sat contently on her hips as they swayed back and forth. "She's probably lying to you about even being pregnant. This is probably just her way of trying to win you back. Did she ever tell you that the only reason why she got with you in the first place was because she wanted to get revenge on me?" She turned to look at me with her last question. I felt uneasy as she waited for me to answer her. I fixated my eyes on a picture on the wall and started to play with the hem of my shorts.

"She mentioned it." I shook my head, trying to deny all of these accusations. I didn't want to believe that my pretty girl was capable of such manipulative measures. I didn't want to believe that this girl I was once madly in love with and still loved would do such a thing to me. If it were true, why would she be fighting so hard to keep me out of her life? But, why would Peyton be feeding me all of these things? Peyton wouldn't lie about such an important issue.

A wave of nausea passed over my body forcing me to stand up. The room started spinning, and I started to feel trapped. The walls seemed to be closing in, and I had to struggle to stay standing. I had to get out of that room, of that house. I rushed from Peyton's bedroom, not saying a word as I did so. I ran as fast as my legs would take me until I finally reached the river court. I sat at the picnic table with my head in my hands. I shook my head back and forth as I tried to sort through the thoughts I was having. Why would Peyton, who was my girlfriend, lie to me about Brooke manipulating me? But then again, why would Brooke lie to me about her pregnancy, yet still fight with me about being in her life? I was overwhelmed with this new information and didn't know who I could turn to.

I looked out at the river as it rushed along. The blue green water passed along the rocks on the shoreline. Bubbles could be seen where fish were swimming beneath the water. The sun was no longer out as clouds had taken over the sky and threatened rain. The river looked dreary and dull from the lack of life that surrounded it. Fall had begun to set in and caused the plant life on the shore to die out. Different colors of browns danced along the river banks. A yell escaped my lungs as I looked up at the clouds, frustrated with my life.