The elevator was painfully slow and Rick couldn't stop his fidgeting. His eyes were watching the numbers as they burned brightly for a moment before jumping to the next. He wished he'd taken the stairs. This was torture.

One more floor. He couldn't wait to see the place again. A lot could change in three months and he couldn't wait to see what did. Mostly, though, he couldn't wait to see Kate.

He still hadn't decided on what he would say to her. He wasn't even sure she would take him back and let him still shadow her. He hoped they could at least get back into the old way, but a part of him was sure that old way had died when he walked out. They had both changed; their relationship had changed. It had gone backwards when all he wanted in the world was for it to move forward. He shook his head. He couldn't worry about any of it until he actually talked to her. He could see where they were then and figure out what to do to fix it.

The elevator finally hit upon the fourth floor and opened its doors to the sweeping bull-pen. It looked even busier than normal. Men and women in suits and uniforms were rushing back and forth, phones were ringing, becoming an ambient noise, and the smells were the same as he remembered: gun oil, sweat, cologne and perfume, and old wood. He breathed in deeply as he stepped out and searched the floor, looking for familiar faces. A few of the officers nodded and smiled in his direction, but none stopped to chat and all seemed to have somewhere they needed to be. He took a few steps into the main area and paused.

The sun was shining through the windows on the right, throwing blurred squares of light on the floor. There was an odd smokey haze that lingered in those beams and it swirled when someone walked through. He found Ryan moving through one such square, looking down at a piece of paper, his brow folded in thought. He rounded his desk and sat heavily in his chair, a hand going to his forehead as he read.

Dropping his hands to his pockets Rick went forward into the sea of moving people and made his way to Ryan's desk, standing to the side for a moment, just waiting. A smile started to form as the seconds ticked by. Finally Ryan looked up from his paper.

"Castle?" He said, a wide smile crossing his face and he stood up, pulling Rick into a quick hug and thumping him twice on the back. "I didn't know you were getting back yet."

Rick shrugged. "Didn't know either until earlier this morning, how's your summer been?"

"Busy as hell. Beckett has been running us ragged since it started."

"Yeah, I heard," Rick said taking the seat next to the desk and Ryan fell back into his. His face changed the moment he touched his chair and it looked almost like he was glaring. Rick drummed his fingers for a moment, not meeting his eyes.

"So you two talk this summer?" Ryan bent his head, looking at him with that glare still playing on his face.

Rick nodded. "Some," he said and swallowed. His mouth felt dry and he licked his lips. "We chatted on the phone a few times."

"Chatted?"

"Talked and stuff."

"Ah, and what did you chat about?" Ryan paused, looking out to the room with the table where they had the party the day Rick had left. "Did you chat about how you just walked out on her when she had something tell you?"

Rick swallowed hard again. He had tried to prepare himself for this, knowing that they had all seen what happened. There was some repairing to do with all of his friendships, not just Kate's. It all started with her though; if he could get that fixed then the rest should fall into place. If he couldn't… well he didn't want to think about that. If he couldn't fix him and Kate then nothing else really mattered at the moment.

"I know, I was blind to it. But no, she didn't say a word about it."

"Ah," Ryan said and twisted to look back to his desk and the paper he was reading. He was ignoring Rick and looked awfully annoyed.

"Look, I didn't know she wasn't with Demming anymore. I figured she was happy with him. I… " He paused when Ryan looked back to him, watching him carefully. "I didn't want to ruin what they had. What would you have done?"

Ryan sighed, setting the paper back down. "I don't know man, it was bad timing on everything, but did you really have to get back together with your ex-wife? Even I felt Beckett's pain from the other room. That was pretty damn harsh. Especially after how you talked about your ex. I felt just as bad for you, even though you were being an idiot."

"I didn't mean for it to be. I just didn't want to be alone the entire summer, and Gina… well she kind of forced her way in."

"You could have gone alone, would that have been so bad?"

"Come on, Ryan, alone all summer? Alexis was at a summer program, Beckett had turned me down, I didn't really have anyone else. Nothing happened between me and Gina and I spent most of the summer sitting around moping and trying to write. If I was alone the entire time I'm not sure I'd of been able to make it without going nuts."

"You seemed all right when you left."

"I was completely focused on keeping up a front. Like I said, I thought she was happy with Demming. I didn't mean to hurt her, you have to believe me."

"I do," Ryan said looking out into the bull-pen and Rick followed his gaze to Beckett's desk which sat empty. "She's been working herself to the bone since you left. Montgomery had to order her twice to take time off, and she still showed up once or twice. I've never seen her like that before."

"Speaking of Beckett, where is she?" Rick asked as he glanced over to the break room and the other rooms that surrounded the main area. He didn't see her. That worried him and made his stomach sink slightly.

"Don't know, she hasn't been in ye—"

"So, Castle finally showed up, huh?" Rick turned around at the sound of Esposito's voice and stood up, holding out his hand. Esposito took it and pulled him into a mirror of the hug Ryan had given him and stepped back. "Good to see you bro, how was the Hamptons?"

"Boring as hell," Rick said grinning. "Where's Beckett at?"

Esposito frowned and took a glance over to the Captain's office. "Cap says she called in sick. Apparently she caught a bug of some sort. Sorry, bro."

"Is she actually sick, or is she avoiding me?" Rick asked slowly, sinking back into his chair. She had avoided his phone calls for almost a month, it wouldn't surprise him if she was avoiding him now. He just wish he knew why. It wasn't like her not to face things head on, to bulldoze through and keep trucking along. Had his leaving really bothered her that much? He couldn't imagine that it did. He could see her being annoyed, possibly slightly hurt, but it was almost like it bothered her as much as it did him. Could she really care about him not being around as much as he cared? Had he really made that much an impact in her life that it mattered if he was around, or if they would see each other again?

His head was beginning to hurt, a throbbing pain building at the back of his neck, and he placed a hand to his forehead. He felt like he was in a bad dream. Kate was possibly sick, and if he had to guess she probably didn't want to see him at all. He needed to see her though and he felt like being a little selfish today. He just needed to talk to her for a minute, get her to listen and maybe things would work out.

"Dunno, Montgomery talked to her. I didn't tell her you were coming back, so if she knows she found out some other way." Rick nodded and stood and walked past Esposito and to the closed door of Montgomery's office. He tried to peer past the frosted glass but could see only blobs of objects on the other side. He reached out and rapped his knuckles against the glass causing it to rattle.

"Yes?" The voice was heavy, almost tired sounding and Rick could understand why. No one could pay him enough to take over Montgomery's job. He reached down and pushed open the door slowly, poking his head inside and taking a quick look around to see if there was anyone else there.

"Hey Captain," Rick said once he saw no one else and stepped into the room. Montgomery smiled broadly and rounded his desk, his hand extended.

"Richard Castle, didn't know you were back in town. I haven't heard your name over the scanner yet." Montgomery said shaking Ricks hand, his grip painful but Rick made sure not to let it show.

"Trying to keep a low profile," Rick said, smiling and took the seat that was offered to him. Montgomery sat on the other side of his desk, running a hand over his balding scalp. His desk was over flowing with paperwork and folders, sticky notes were everywhere like leaves on a tree. A lot had changed in three months, Rick thought as he looked over the mess. "How have you been? All your guys seem busy."

"They are. We lost two more detective jobs, and my best detective just called in sick." Montgomery shifted uneasily in his chair, his eyes locking with Rick's as he spoke. He was there that night and so Rick assumed that he had seen what happened. Another friendship he'd have to mend. All this because he couldn't be alone for the summer and couldn't let Kate get out what she wanted to. He was finally starting to fit in slightly and then he had to give a pass to Demming and it screwed everything. He understood now what those feelings he was having meant, but it was a little late; maybe too late for anything to be done.

"Beckett?"

Montgomery nodded. "She sounds pretty sick, I don't know when she'll be back in. Did you stop by just to see her, or are you planning on shadowing her some more?"

"That really depends on her."

"Well, I hope she let's you back, it's be quiet around here since you left." Montgomery said smiling. "And she's not been herself."

"How so?"

Montgomery was no longer smiling and Rick saw his eyes glance over to the whiskey flask by his desk. If Rick had to guess that flask had been getting a lot of use lately. Rick could use a swig of it.

"I can't really place it, to be honest," he said holding his hands out as he spoke. "She's just been more closed off than she has been lately. More touchy too and working herself ragged. It was hard to watch."

Rick sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he stood up. "Do you have an address for her? I haven't been to her new place yet, so I'm not sure where it is."

"You're going to go see her? You sure that's a good idea, Castle?" Rick gave a nod and Montgomery smiled before picking up his pad of sticky notes and scribbling something on it. "Take it easy, if she isn't feeling well she might just shoot you to make herself feel better."

"I'll be sure to wear my writer's vest and to bring flowers." Rick said returning the smile. Truth be told he was worried about this. He hadn't seen her in months, and while they had talked and seemed to be getting along he couldn't be sure of it. Especially as she was ignoring his calls. She was sick though, and no one should be alone when they were sick. Would she let him in though? He had a feeling he'd be in for a bit of a fight but he could be just as stubborn as she was when he wanted to be.

What was he going to do though? Kate would never let him take care of her, she'd just say thank you for whatever he brought and then kick him out. Was there really a point in him going all the way over there just to be sent home? Yes. He wanted to see her, he wanted to help her if he could, whether she wanted it or not. He'd also bring her something that might make her feel better… what that was he still wasn't sure and he didn't know if she would even accept it.

"Castle?" Rick looked up and realized he had been standing in front of Montgomery's desk, lost in thought. He offered a sheepish smile and backed away.

"Sorry, I'll see you, Captain." Rick said and made his way out of the office and into the bull-pen. Esposito and Ryan looked up and he waved to them both. When he reached the elevator he stepped in, he suddenly had a pretty good idea for a gift. He hit the first floor button with a smile, hoping he'd live through the day.