AN: You keep surprising me with your awesome reviews and encouraging words. You're the reasons why it's fun to write fanfictions. Keep on rocking and thank you!
Can you all take the tension? Is it killing you or are you tough? Let's see how Callie handles it…
Okay, I have no idea why I just asked her that. Or, actually I do. Because I really want to see her. But to ask her up was a complete act of the moment. I figured she could be…well…thirsty maybe, for driving all the way from her home to our home, and that only to ask if Sofia was better. That is very sweet and shows signs of thoughtfulness; it shouldn't have surprised me though, she is after all a caretaker. So now…now she's on her way up the stairs. What the hell do I say to her when I open the door? What if she's even more beautiful than I remember her from this morning? What if she's even more breathtaking?
"Mama, who come?" Sofia asks as she comes out from her room, trying to pull her head into one of her PJ's sleeves. "Who commmmme?" she shrieks hysterically as she's about to throw a tantrum when she can't get her head out. "Mamaaaa!"
"Hey, hey, easy, Sofia. See," I kneel down beside her and stick my hands under the shirt to guide her head out of the right hole. "You're free," smiling, I kiss my baby's nose.
"Danks," she grins and looks down at her PJ. "Pwetty," she once again grins and I can't help but chuckle. Everything in her world is pretty, especially all blue things and her PJ's not an exception; little, baby blue unicorns circulates around a silver moon with the text "Magical dreamland" written across the midsection.
"Yes, baby. You're very pretty," I confirm her as I pull myself into standing position by the small chest of drawers in the hall. As Sofia is about to skip into her room to find a bedtime story, she stops in her tracks in the doorway. Turning, she once again asks me the question I haven't answered yet. And I really don't know how to explain that Arizona is the one entering our home in just a tick, because why is she? Why is she here? Is there more to it than there seems? Could she want to spend time with me the way I dream about spending time with her? One can only hope and I am certainly one to hope!
"Who come, Mama?" Sofia's big, brown eyes dancing with the soft light from her blue lava-lamp.
"Um…it's Arizona. You remember Arizona, don't you?" I ask stupidly because of course she remembers her. That bracelet somehow engraved Arizona in her heart forever. And very much in mine too.
"Av-zona?" Her smile grows at the sound of Arizona's name. "Av-zona come see me?"
"Yeah, looks like it, Sof," I smile as my daughter's ears go sharp at the knocking sound coming from our door. Sofia's eyes go even bigger and she almost trips running to the door to let our guest in. "Ooh, careful," I call after her with a chuckle.
Sofia's big enough to reach the doorknob and as she unsteadily rises on her toes and grab it, she get the door cracked open. "Hi, Av-zona," she squeals.
"Sofia, hi pretty girl," Arizona's voice singsongs and I feel my heart being filled with joy once again. If that voice doesn't put music to shame, I don't know what could.
I observe my daughter and my…Arizona as I lean against the wall, crossing my arms and tilting my head. I see Arizona crouch down to Sofia's height as she shows her a tiny cup, Sofia quickly grabs it and spins it around in her hands while Arizona smiles. Suddenly Sofia throws herself in the arms of the blonde which almost make them both keel over, but Arizona manages to keep the balance on the ground with the one hand not holding onto my very excited and grateful daughter. The scene is so incredibly cute that I can't stifle my giggling which makes Arizona look up and find my eyes. She shoots me a smile I haven't seen before, one of those smiles that when you see them, when you're the receiver of them, you know that those are the smiles you want to keep forever in your memory. And this smile engraved itself in my heart just next to the bracelet gesture.
"Hi," I smile as I approach the door opening. "Why don't you let go of Arizona so she can get in, Sofia? You can show her one of your new books before going to bed," I tell my daughter who does as she's told right away. I don't think it's because she wants to but the thought of showing Arizona something made letting her go easier. So as she wobbly runs off to find her book with the little cup in her hand, I'm left with the beautiful blonde for a moment or two.
"Hi," she smiles. "And thank you, for… um, for buzzing me in," she nervously adds with another smile.
"Anytime," I grin. "Come in," as I gesture for her to come inside, she steps into my home and without a heads up pulls me into a sensation of body contact. The way her breasts press against mine, the way her hair smells of peppermint and tickles my skin, the way her arms wrap around my neck and gently hold my hip. The hug is gently but so good. It's everything I could've ever dreamed of and actually have been dreaming of. But just as I'm about to press her even closer to me, she pulls away smiling as a soft giggle escapes her throat.
"Thank you, Callie," she nods as she takes in my apartment's small hall and living room. "You live very beautiful," Arizona adds as she silently ask if it's okay for her to drop her purse on the chest placed alongside the wall breaking the room, to which I shake my head yes.
"You want coffee, tea, coke? Or maybe we've got some cider, or wine? You want wine?" I nervously fires off not knowing what she prefers and trying to make her feel comfortable in my presence. Here's no restaurant or daycare, here's no waitresses or young cooks to yell at or little children to soothe or change. Here's only me and her. Arizona and I. And-
"Av-zona, look, look. Pwetty bwook," Sofia returns with her arms full of books, and not just the two new ones she got today because she'd been such a good girl. No, she's got a whole bunch of books.
Arizona chuckles as she takes every book Sofia offers her as she babbles about each and every one. "Coffee's just fine, thank you," Arizona answers my question I had forgotten the moment Sofia came to steal the attention of my guest.
"Coffee it is then," I smile as I go into the kitchen. As I'm pouring water into the coffeemaker, I eavesdrop in on the conversation my daughter's got going on with the woman I know I need to know. If only life was as easy as a 2-year-old make it looks like.
"…and me get bwooks coz Mama say me be a gwood gwirl. So me pick dat bwook," Sofia tells the listening woman beside her. "Pwetty, Av-zona?"
"It is very pretty, Sofia. And I bet it's a very good book, too. Your Mama read it to you?"
"Nooo, silly," Sofia drawls as they both fall into a fit of giggles. "Me got bwook today. But me and Mama watsh movie."
"Silly me, of course you've watched movies today," Arizona chuckles. "What movie did you watch?"
"Guess!" Sofia squeals excited and I know she's loving all of the attention Arizona is giving her.
"Ohh, that's a tough one," Arizona puffs. "What about…hmmm, The Little Mermaid?"
"Nuh-uh!"
"No? What about Cars?"
"Nope!"
"Beauty & The Beast, then? Or Peter Pan? The mermaids are so pretty in Peter Pan."
"Yes, yes, yes. Pweter Pan," Sofia sings. "And no mwermaids, Av-zona. Tink-belle pwetty."
"Really? I like Tiger Lily more. She's got beautiful black hair," Arizona tells my daughter which makes Sofia laugh.
"Mama like Wendy."
"Oh really? Wonder why…"
"Me know, me know, me know, Av-zona. Ask me."
Arizona chuckles and I know I'm about to be humiliated big time by my 2-year-old. As I silently beg the coffeemaker to make it just a bit faster than it usually does, I hear Sofia reveal why her mother's favorite in Peter Pan is Wendy.
"Yellow hair. Wendy got yellow hair. Mama like yellow hair," I can almost see the grin upon my daughter's face. I pour the now done coffee into a pot and place it on the tray, ready to enter my living room without knowing what expressions I'm about to face. "You yellow hair, Av-zona. You pwetty," Sofia smiles as she brushes her fingers through blonde curls.
"Thank you, Sofia. I like your hair too. It's just like silk," Arizona smiles as she too runs her fingers through Sofia's hair. The smile on Sofia's face tells me she's very, very content. It reaches all up to her ears and makes her eyes sparkle; and the mother in me is so proud and so very happy to see these two interact like that.
I place the tray on the coffee table and smile, knowing that in a minute I'll have a grumpy daughter because it's about that time in the night where she needs to snuggle up with her duvet and not with my blonde…wait, Arizona. I mean my Arizona, no. Arizona. No snuggling with my Arizona, I mean… Oh, God. Bedtime, yes. Bedtime.
"So, Wendy, huh?" Arizona smirks.
"Yes. She's cool, handling all the annoying boys. She's like the heroine," I quickly add denying the fact that the main reason I like Wendy is actually her blonde features. All Arizona's giving me is a crooked smile as she takes the mugs and the pot off the tray and places them on the table. "Sofia, it's bedtime. Can you say goodnight to Arizona?"
"Nooo," Sofia whines, her fingers still playing with the blonde curls; she's clearly as mesmerized by it as I am. Good girl! "Me no bed. Me play with Av-zona," her sad eyes and the pouty lips she's giving having no affect on me. It's late, she's been to the hospital and I want to be alone with Arizona. So, nope. Not falling for that face; not tonight.
"Don't do that face, Sofia. Not gonna work tonight. Say goodnight, baby," I tell my daughter all the while Arizona is sucking her lips into her mouth to try and hide her giggling. "So," I drawl.
"5 minutes?" She tries.
"It's already late, so no, baby. Say goodnight."
"But…" Sofia's lower lip starts to tremble. "Av-zona see my room?"
"Arizona can't-" I start but Arizona softly cuts me off.
"Look, Sofia…I promise I'll come see your room next time I'm visiting. I promise; scout's honor!" Arizona says as she holds her hand to her chest. "Okay?" Sofia doesn't buy that right away, she just looks at the blonde with a mischievous look on her face. "And maybe we can watch a movie?" At that suggestion Sofia lights up, hugging Arizona and then leans back to softly stroke her hair once again.
"Watsh movie?"
"Yeah," Arizona grins. "But that means you'll have to go to bed now because the sooner you sleep the sooner I'll be able to come visit you again," she nods and Sofia nods her little head too. Wow, that's very impressive, I must say. Arizona's voice all but calm and friendly, telling this little girl who's gotten so enamored by her that she'll return if she's going to bed now. Very smart move.
"Okay," Sofia smiles and hugs Arizona one more time. "Night, Av-zona."
"Nightynight, Sofia," she winks.
"I'll be right back, you just try to feel at home," I smile, gently shoving Sofia towards her room as she eagerly waves.
"Bye-bye," she giggles. "Bye-bye, Av-zona. Next time watsh movie."
"Next time we'll watch movies," she grins and then leans back in the couch, taking a sip of her coffee.
As I tug my daughter in bed, I don't miss the sleepy smile on her lips. Stroking her hair back and making sure no naked skin is revealed from under the duvet, I kiss her cheek. Her warmth stream right onto my lips and send a lovely shiver down my entire body. If my life didn't have Sofia in it, I don't know where I'd be; I don't even know if I'd feel this good. Before I had her I thought everything was the delightfulness of cooking and discovering new spices, I thought all the love I needed in my life was the feelings I got from the random partners who crossed my way when I felt lonely. Sometimes that feeling lasted 5 months, sometimes 5 minutes. But I didn't think the one night stand I had almost three years ago could turn out to be the best thing I'd ever done. Because she is. Sofia is possibly the best thing I've made, no. She is the best thing I've ever created.
"Yellow hair," Sofia mumbles into her hand that's pressed under her cheek.
"What, honey?"
"Yellow hair…Av-zona."
"What's with Arizona?" I ask, smiling at the sleeping beauty.
"She pwetty, Mama. Like Wendy."
"I know," I sigh, tugging her in and kissing her hair one last time. As I rise to turn the lights off and make sure her lava-lamp is glowing, I cast one last look at my almost sleeping child. "I know. Just like Wendy," I close the door and tiptoes back into the living room where Arizona isn't sitting in the couch anymore.
I stop just before the couch, watching the blonde slowly move alongside the wall, looking at all the picture frames. She lets her lips graze the mug now and again, sighing and mmhmm-ing as she takes in all the pictures of my past and present. I can see her eyes study every picture as I'm watching her in profile; every feature of her body captivating my eyes. As she brushes a stray of her behind her ear, she softly flicks her hair and I can't help the quiet gasp falling from my lips; she's so beautiful. Even when she doesn't know it, she's like a walking shooting star…or something less corny. But she is. She really is beautiful. My gasp wasn't as quiet as I thought because just then she turns around, catching me checking her out. And I did. She's got a body worth checking out. All the wonders I appreciate on a woman's body; yep, she's got them.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snoop around."
"Oh, don't be. Pictures are there to be looked at, aren't they?" I smirk and place myself in the couch, taking the mug of coffee Arizona has poured ready for me.
"You're on to something," she softly laughs and sits in the other corner of the couch. "She's something. Your daughter. She's pretty awesome, Callie," Arizona smiles.
"Thank you. I do feel very blessed. She's the best I've got, but you already knew that," I blush and try to cover my face behind the mug. "Um…can I ask you something?"
"Of course. Shoot!" Arizona grins, pulling one knee to her chest and balance her mug upon her kneecap.
"Um…why…why did you, I mean…why are you here?" I stumble in my sentence and that really wasn't how I wanted to ask her. "No, damn it. I mean, why did you buzz? No…" and before I can humiliate myself even more she saves me from myself.
"I wanted to make sure that Sofia was okay," Arizona smiles. "That you both were okay," she quickly adds.
"Oh," I can't believe it. She actually came over to make sure we were okay! If it wasn't for the fact that it would be so, so awkward I'd kiss her right now. I'd throw myself in her arms and just kiss her.
"And I forgot to write something on the note Derek gave to you," she shrugs as she finish her coffee with a big gulp.
"Did you?" I chuckle. "Did you forget to mention that you want extra sauce to your salmons as well?" I smirk but once again I almost choke in my own voiced thoughts. I seriously need to stop bringing sauce into the conversation I'm having with this woman.
"Ha ha, very funny," she says in a sarcastic tone. "No, actually…I forgot to give you my number. I mean, if you want to use me as a sitter, you'll need my number to contact me, don't you?" she nervously shifts in her seat, not really looking at me and I can't help but hope that there's more to her wanting me to have her number than what she just said.
"You're right, I would need that for calling you," I state as I too look around the room.
"Who's the man holding Sofia on that picture over there?" Arizona suddenly asks, changing the subject.
Haven't expected to have that question asked so soon, I'm taken quite aback. And I can't lie because where would that lead us? I want to be, no…I need to be completely honest to Arizona. So I shift a little in my seat and place my mug on the table.
"It's her farther," I tell her honestly. Arizona's face doesn't scrunch up in confusion or disbelief or judgment.
"Oh. And where is he now? I mean, you don't live with him?" Arizona asks only curiosity in her voice. "You don't have to answer that, really. I'm just very curious. I'm sorry," she apologizes.
"Don't be. It's an obvious question," I chuckle, trying to make her feel better. Because it is a fair question; I'm not living with anyone and she sees a picture with a man holding my newborn daughter, so it'd be weird if she didn't ask me who he was. "He doesn't see her. Not like that anyway. Once a year maybe. He lives in New York, and it works for all of us…so it's not a problem really. We're managing. Well, I try as best as I can," Arizona doesn't say anything, she just sits there and listens to me talk, nodding and oh-ing as she takes it all in. "He's a great man, though, but I just couldn't stay with him. Sofia knows he's her farther but that's it. We don't need him, we're doing the best we can. And we're happy, most days…we're happy," I finish with a content sigh.
"Wow," Arizona finally speaks. "That's quite a story, Callie," she smiles as she crosses both of her legs, making the left foot bob up and down.
"I guess, if you say so," I shrug.
"I do say so. You're very interesting, um…the story, your story is very interesting. You say you couldn't stay with him?" Arizona shyly asks which makes me wonder if she has got the same thoughts as I. If she keeps thinking of me the way I think of her all the time. And as she instinctively licks her lips I desperately want to be that tongue, to feel those glorious lips on me. God, if only life was as easy as Sofia makes it seem like. If only I could come clean and tell this beautiful woman that all I want to do is kiss her and kiss her until we can't breathe; until we both see stars. But how the hell do I tell her that? How do I even know if she's into me, into women? Arizona's hand comes to rest upon my thigh as she softly speaks again.
"Callie?" her strong hand sends shots of electricity through my body, makes my head spin and my core heat up immediately. The hand being oh so close to where I need it, clips my breathing. "Callie? You okay?" Arizona doesn't remove her hand and all I can think about is her hands, her lips, her breath wash all over me – touch me – take me higher than I've ever been before.
Arizona squirms herself closer to me which jerks me alive. I snap out of my thoughts and finally see those concerned, blue oceans before me. "Are you okay?" she softly asks.
"Yes, yeah, I think so," I smile and shake my head. "Sorry, just got caught in my own head."
"That's okay," Arizona squeezes my thigh and right there – RIGHT THERE – I know that she is just like me. "It's getting late, I should go home. You've had quite a night and day, I won't keep you up for much longer," she smiles and lets go off my thigh – the warmth immediately gone – and raises. "Thank you for coffee and for buzzing me in," Arizona whisper as we walk past Sofia's room.
"You are very welcome. I like having company…Um, I'd love for you to, maybe…come over some other time," I nervously speak covering it up with a chuckle and handing her, her purse and jacket.
"Well, I do owe Sofia a movie date," Arizona smirks.
"Oh yeah, that's right," I give a weak smile as I open the door.
"And of course, I wouldn't mind if her mother would join us," and if I had doubted Arizona's intentions earlier I don't anymore. That was very clear! She wants to know me, she wants to know me like I want to know her.
"I wouldn't say no to watch a movie with any of you," I grin goofily at the giggling blonde.
"Awesome!" she states and leans against the doorframe. "So," Arizona drawls. "I had a very nice time tonight."
"Me too," I blush because all she needs to do is look at me and I go weak in my knees, body and soul. And I can't resist anymore, I need to feel those lips. I need to feel Arizona. Leaning forward I can feel Arizona's breath tickle my every nerve; I don't see her, I don't see anything. All my mind is set on is the feeling of our lips. And I know she feels it too.
Is it now I should expect cranky reviews because I cut it there? Haha ;-)
Well fire away anyways. Every thought is appreciated.
