"Do you really have to escort me everywhere?" I asked Joel irritably.

"You know that I do." He stated, his eyes darting around suspicously, like Damian would animate right in front of him. "No, I mean you. Isn't there someone else, like another cop or something?" I went on.

He grimaced, then quickly let his blinding smile lift his lips. "You love me, admit it," He said, "there is no one else you'd rather have." "I'd rather have almost anyone else." I muttered.

I settled into the backseat of the car, strapping in and waiting for Joel to finish hooking up the little mic in his ear. It kept him updated on what he needed to do, as well as alert him to danger.

We were mere hours from being put on the first bus trip to Bakersfield, but I needed to do a town run beforehand. I had hugged Cora and Melissa before they left the day before, and wished everyone else well. I could only hope that they wouldn't have a run in with my older brother, especially before they were ready.

Joel sighed heavily, then cranked the car. I hadn't been comfortable with the situation, but Theo had been made to stay behind for this ride. They needed him to be at the police station to prepare him for the place we would be staying temporarily.

Of course, the only cop that had managed to be available to take me into town was Joel Atland.

Now, he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the traffic filled street to go to our destination. "Cassia," He said, "you really need to relax. I know that this isn't the best situation, but you've got to look like you're not being chased."

"Easy for you to say," I replied, "And it's not only because I'm being chased. I evaded cops the entire time I was hiding, and now, they're up under me all the time. You guys draw more attention to me than anyone else. That's not a good thing when it comes to Damian. You know what happens to people who get in his way."

"We're protecting you. That's the whole point of getting in his way." "I don't want people dying to protect me." I admitted, "I just wish there were a way to stop him without anyone else getting hurt. He's becoming more aggressive, Joel. Theo told me that the last person he killed was a child."

My chest ached and my belly clenched at the tormenting thought.

"Theo should keep his mouth shut about police matters." Joel growled. "Stop it," I said to him darkly, "I deserve to know. It's all my fault anyway."

Joel stomped on the brakes harder than necessary, throwing me forward painfully, "None of this is your fault!"

"Be careful! Do you want to break my neck?!" I hissed, rubbing my now hurting collarbone where the seatbelt had been resting, "I led him here! Wherever I go, he goes eventually, so anyone that dies rests on me."

"That doesn't make any of it your fault." He argued back a little softer, "When we're dealing with victims, they always blame themselves. Rape victims wonder what they did to attract their attackers, survivors blame themselves for walking away from the situation alive, and you...you blame yourself for your brother's murderous antics."

"If it wasn't for me running away from him, those people would still be alive, Joel." I said, in a tinier voice than I had expected to use, "That family would still have their child. Policemen would still go home to their wives. Babies wouldn't be orphaned..."

Tears sprung to my eyes with fire, and with such intensity that my jaw locked in place and I couldn't swallow.

Joel's eyes glued themselves to my face. I bit my lip hard, using the sleeve of my jacket to wipe the tracks from my cheeks.

"You seem to forget," Joel's voice was so soft I could barely hear him, "that you were also one of those children orphaned." "How could I ever forget that? I see them every time I close my eyes." I said in shuddering breaths as I tried to hold in the sobs that wanted to escape.

Joel quieted, and pulled into the parking lot of the store. After parking, he turned and offered me a tissue, which I took and thanked him for quietly.

After cleaning my face, I met his eyes in the rearview mirror. "You can't continue to blame yourself, Cass. No one who dies is your fault, no matter how much you feel that way. Rape victims didn't ask for what they got, survivors shouldn't feel guilty for living through their endeavors, and you didn't get those people killed. It's all on Damian. You have to let it go."

"Easier said, than done. Anyway," I pushed the tissue into my pocket, "let's go in. I want to get back to Theo as soon as I can."

I saw Joel's jaw tighten, but I ignored it and waited for him to open the door of the cop car so I could crawl out of the back. Once he did, I took the hand he offered me to help me up. As I went to release his hand, his fingers gripped mine.

"Joel?" I asked, lightly tugging at my hand. "Why did you get involved with Theo?" He asked plainly.

"It was an accident...sort of." I said, finally pulling my fingers from his, and trying to keep my cool, "What does it matter?"

"You told me at the station that last time we were there that you weren't interested in anyone, and you never would be." He went on. "Okay," I said, beginning to walk off, "One, I was barely sixteen years old, and my parents had just been murdered, of course I wasn't ready to deal with anything like a relationship. Two, you're not my type. I'm sorry if that offends you, but it's a fact. Three, you came on way too strong, even if you hadn't been serious. I hadn't had a lot of friends throughout my life because Damian was always a problem. I wasn't experienced with talking to a lot of people."

"So you did the very thing you swore you wouldn't? That doesn't make any sense." He said. "Joel, this is SO not your business. Just focus on what you need to be doing while I shop for a few things, alright? I don't want to be pissed off at you right now."

I could tell he wanted to say more, but I turned without another word and walked to the medicinal aisles. "Are you still feeling sick?" He asked, following me. "No, I need some vitamins." I answered, trying to duck around, pretending like I needed to search, when in reality, the first thing I had spotted were the prenatal vitamins.

"Quit dancing around," he said, "now, what are you looking for?"

"Um," I said, trying to think of something I could send him for so that he wouldn't see what I really needed, "why don't you go pick up the other thing I needed real quick on this side? It's just a couple aisles over."

I could see my suggestion brought questions to his lips, but he didn't speak. "It's personal, okay?" I finally said, then showed him my paper list, "Now, if you don't mind, I need some facial cleanser. Its in a pink bottle, says cleanser, and it'll be around the makeup aisle. I'll grab some cotton balls and meet you there in a minute."

"You're sending me to the girly aisle?" He complained. "Would you rather get the condoms?" I flung back, satisfied when I saw red creeping into his cheeks. I wasn't sure if it was anger or embarrassment, but either way, I was fine with it.

Without another word, he spun and went for the makeup aisle. I began giggling to myself over his reaction, as it had taken me by surprise. For now, Theo and I had no use for those, but Joel didn't know that. I had just wanted to get back at him.

Quickly, I snatched up the bottle of prenatal vitamins and a bag of cotton balls and almost walked into Joel as he came back around the bend. "Your facial cleanser," he said between clenched teeth.

"Thanks, you actually got the right one." I chuckled, descreetly making sure the cotton ball bag covered the name on the bottle I held.

"You're going to need a cart." He stated, watching as I picked up Theo's favorite brand of shampoo. Though my arms were getting full, I only needed two more things. "I got it." I replied, but before I could turn away, he began snatching items from my full arms and placing them in a basket he'd grabbed from the floor that someone had left around.

"Thanks I guess," I said, as I went to try and nestle the vitamins in beneath the other things, but Joel snatched them as well and shoved them into the basket. He hadn't looked at the bottle thankfully, and I sighed and went on to pick up my last two items.

Once finished, Joel followed me up to the register. I placed the basket on the conveyor belt and smiled at the cashier. "Hello." I said, and the young lady smiled back.

"Did you find everything you needed okay?" She asked, beginning to scan my things. "Yes, thank you." I turned to Joel, "If you want, you can go get the car ready. This will only take a sec." "I'm fine." He said, and I tried to remain calm.

"Oh!" The girl suddenly exclaimed, and with horror, I saw that she was holding the vitamins, and reading the front label, "Congrats to you both!"

"Thanks," I replied with a tight smile, "but he is just a friend." "What is she talking about?" Joel asked, stretching to look at the label himself, but I snatched the bottle as un-rudely as I could and slammed it into the bag she'd placed my other items in. "I'm really in a hurry, what's my total?" I asked her nicely. "Uh...fourteen ninety-two?" She said, wondering about my sudden change in attitude.

I pulled a twenty from my pocket, handed it to her and told her to keep the change before grabbing my bag and walking off. I could practically feel Joel breathing on the back of my neck.

"Cassia." Joel's voice sounded like a warning as we walked to the cop car, "What did she congratulate you about?" "Nothing that concerns you, okay? Let's go, please."

"No, not until you tell me what you're hiding." Joel said, pulling a cigarette from his shirt pocket. "Don't even think about lighting that, or I'll put it out in your ass." I growled, "And this is my business, none of yours. I'm ready to go."

Joel stood in his spot apathetically, raising his eyebrow at me as he fished a lighter from his back pants pocket.

"Fine, you stay here and smoke your cancer stick, and I'll walk." I said, snatching up my bag and heading back in the direction we'd come from. As I went to pass him, Joel's hand shot out and snatched me back by the arm.

"Let go of me!" I screamed, jerking my arm from him, "If you fucking touch me again, I will call Theo! Now, either take me back or I am walking!"

In his anger, Joel dropped the cigarette and stomped on it. "Why are you acting this way?!" He yelled back, "You're being all suspicious and I don't like it!" "I don't care what you like! I don't answer to you for anything, especially my personal stuff!" I retorted.

I saw the vein in Joel's neck pop and his glare became darker. Although I was angry, I wasn't stupid, and I turned to walk off. Walking was safer than riding with an angry driver.

I pulled my cellphone out to call Theo, but was taken by surprise when my arm yanked back. Joel had grabbed and torn the bag, spilling its contents onto the ground. "Damn it, Joel!" I screeched. The green bottle of pills rolled to his foot and stopped, label face up.

Joel stared at it, his face pink with the rage he'd been feeling. "What the hell do you need prenatal vitamins fo-" He started, then his eyes flew up to mine. "Are you happy now, fucker?" I asked snarkily, snatching the bottle and other things up up from the ground and tossing them into the back seat of the car.

I forcefully shoved Joel's shocked body aside and climbed in, slamming the door behind me in finality. I folded my arms, refusing to look at Joel, even as he climbed into the front seat.

"Cassia?" He asked, his voice sounding troubled and angry at the same time. "I refuse to talk about it, officer. Now take me to the station, to my husband, and fuck off. I'm sick of even looking at you." I said, planting my eyes on my lap to stay until the ride was over.

Joel started the car and drove from the parking lot. Finally after what felt like forever, we got back to the station and Joel stopped, got out and opened my door. He stood so close that I didn't think I'd be able to get out.

I gathered my things, then stood and pulled my body through the small space that Joel had left between himself and the car without touching him. "Cassia, wait." He begged, his voice no longer angry. "No," I said.

"You can't be- I mean you can't-" He tried to get out. "Theo still doesn't know, but I've got to tell him sooner than I expected now, because you'll surely blabbermouth to him. Keep your mouth shut for now, or I will super glue it shut, understand?" I told him coldly, staring him down.

"I refuse to believe you're...pregnant." He said the word like it was a curse. "Well, believe it," I told him, "Melissa McCall has the ultrasound pictures if you must see to believe."

"And by...him." Joel said quietly. "Who else would I be knocked up by, Joel? Hmm?"

Completely done with the conversation, I spun on my heel and went into the station. Theo jumped to his feet and held his arms open for me as I came through the door, and I felt my body relaxing of its tensions, melting into him as soon as his arms went around me.

"Please give me a reason to kill him, no matter how insignificant." Theo said in between pressing kisses to my face and lips.

"Don't worry, he's only digging himself a deeper hole." I promised, returning his kiss.

**Uh-oh, Joel found out about the baby. Tensions are running hot, let's hope he doesn't get himself in trouble with Theo! I hope you're all enjoying and thanks for reading! And a great big thank you to southernbeauty for the lovely reviews! 3 Have a good day!**