Disclaimer: I do not own R+V and no copyright infringement is intended.
"See you tomorrow, Moka!" I exclaimed as my classmate went off back home.
I was fine yelling out to Moka because I hadn't once felt the normal chill I would if Tsurara had been following us. I found it strange that she wasn't tailing us, but what was even more peculiar was the fact that I couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that someone was in fact watching the two us during the whole day.
It was probably just my imagination that I had eyes watching me and even if it weren't, it didn't matter so long as it wasn't Mizore who saw me.
…
Since when did I start thinking like that? I found it slightly disturbing, but I couldn't help but consider the sound reasoning behind it. I already had rumors about me dating Moka. Even if this didn't help put a stopper to the rumors, it really wouldn't change my situation at all. The only person who would care too much about this would be Mizore, who I was quite sure would understand the situation so long as I explained things to her. If she had just been watching from the sidelines, it would be more of a pain trying to correct whatever misunderstanding she had.
…
Despite all of my reasoning, I still felt something was bad about what I had done. All I had done was take a friend out to have some fun, but I still felt guilty for some reason. It wasn't even like Mizore and I were dating. Why exactly was I feeling so horrible about the situation the more I tried to justify it?
I'm thinking too much about it. I probably just felt guilty because I actually knew that Mizore actually cared about what I did and got jealous easily.
As walking into my house and mentally arguing with myself about what I had done, I was greeted by my parents sitting on the couch. Mother had a worried face, while Father just had an exasperated look. Even without having to hear what they had to say, I already had an idea of what had and was going to happen.
"Tsukune, what is this about a girl other than Mizore coming over to the house today?" Father asked with as much enthusiasm as he could muster despite the fact that he just looked almost dead.
My mother was just nodding to the side. It was already clear that she had hammered some idea that I needed special education since meeting Moka. I could also tell that Father probably was just doing this to appease Mother's wishes. He was just trying to make Mother happy and calmer about Moka coming to see me. Why was Mother so worried?
I sat on the couch and just calmly told Mother and Father, "A classmate of mine just came over to help me study because she thought that she had been causing me too many problems during the week."
"See honey. I told you it wasn't anything to be overly worried about. Besides, what's wrong if a girl comes to see Tsukune. He's in high school now," Father said with a slightly disappointed sigh after I had told them why Moka was here. At least Father didn't think of me as a loser.
"But Dear, you should have seen what happened. He made this very pretty girl make us tea," Mother insisted worriedly.
Both Father and I just gave her a confused look. I was just confused because Moka and I had explained the situation earlier. Father was just confused because he probably just thought it was Moka's way of trying to impress Mother.
He also gave me a perplexed look. I couldn't tell if he did so because he just thought I was dense or was possibly hiding something about my relationship with Moka.
Mother continued by adding on, "What's worse is that he had made this girl cry while he wasn't completely dressed."
That would definitely set off red flags off in any sane parent's head. It wasn't just an issue about Mother being overprotective, but a legitimate problem most of society would think ill of. Although I had explained it to Mother, she hadn't even listened to what I had said. My only hope was to be able to explain to Father that I wasn't doing anything cruel to Moka.
"So what? It's not like he was stark naked and for all we know maybe this girl confessed her love to Tsukune but got rejected," Father said while stealing some glances at me with a rather hopeful light in his eyes.
The fact that Father was not that concerned about the situation only hammered the reality that my Mother was prone to panics while Father was too carefree. He clearly wanted to know if I was getting popular in school. The answer to that was obviously no, but he was a businessman that always looked at technicalities. So technically speaking, I did essentially double the number of female friends I had and they bother were very clingy for reasons. Even though I thought about this, I would never tell Father or Mother this.
"I already told you that Moka is just another classmate. We just happen to know each other because we are both the class representatives of the class. She was just crying because she was worried that I had been speaking badly of her when Mother started screaming," I said with as much conviction I could muster into my voice.
Father gave a slightly disappointed sigh. I couldn't tell if his reaction was just a normal thing or not. I could understand the fact that a father would want his son to be popular, but the expectations Father seemed to have were kind of pushing the limit. I could have just been over thinking the whole sigh. Maybe he was just tired out since Mother was making a big deal over something caused by being such a worrywart.
"See honey. I told you that you were just overreacting. Also, did you really start screaming when you saw the girl? If that's the case, why did you automatically come to the conclusion that Tsukune was in the wrong. It isn't exactly normal for parents to start screaming whenever a girl comes over. You even got Mizore all riled up when you told her that one of Tsukune's friends had come over."
The image of me defecating all over myself was the only thing that passed through my mind when I heard what Father had just said. Mother had told Mizore about what had happened, and what's more, Mother didn't have all the facts straight before talking to Mizore. No matter how you looked at the situation, nothing good could come of this.
I didn't even care what Mother and Father were doing at this point. I just had to go explain things to Mizore. Regardless of the fact that I wasn't dating Mizore, it wasn't right to give her a false impression of my friendship with Moka.
But isn't this the perfect excuse?
…
What was that just now? For some reason I had just felt as though another voice had popped into my mind. I couldn't describe the experience exactly. It felt like the voice was still my own thoughts, but also something I did not exactly feel as though belonged to me.
I swept my concern under the rug because the voice did bring up a fair point. Though I had come to terms with the fact that Mizore was a monster and that her obsession was just fear that I would have abandoned her if I had known her true identity, I still couldn't come to around to accepting her love. I couldn't help but feel as though her love was still a replaceable crutch. Her obsession, though mostly explainable, made me feel as though anyone would have done the job. I also had other reasons to not to accept her love, but thinking about them just made me depressed.
In any case, I still didn't find myself in any position that would get me to date Mizore. Wasn't it more despicable of me to lead Mizore on? Was it right for me to keep dangling a sliver of hope in front of her if in the end it wouldn't happen? I couldn't help but feel worse about myself for having to come to such a situation. Despite my lack of anything notable, I might have been more like Koji than I had thought.
The very thought that I was like the incubus who I had earlier scoffed at for his general view on women made me scoff. There was no way I was like him. I treated my friends with respect and had no ulterior motives. I saw them as people dear to me and not just as objects to sate my lust or to simply reproduce with.
But there was one fact that remained that made all my arguments invalid. Koji had the impression that I was an incubus that was even better at the job than he was.
I couldn't trust myself at the moment. I felt as though my judgment was too clouded at the moment to really know what the right thing to do was. Who could I turn to for advice about what I should do about the situation?
The only people who I could try talking to were Mother, Father, Tsurara, Moka, Koji and Gin. I could already rule out my parents only simply because of how eccentric they all were and how Mother was the one who got me in this predicament. She also still seemed to be reluctant to accept the fact that I hadn't done anything to Moka. I dare not disturb Tsurara for obvious reasons.
Knowing Moka, telling her about this would only get her down. Even if I wasn't the brightest guy around, even I could tell that Moka would naturally assume that it was her fault or that I was blaming her. It also would just add more fuel to the fire if Mizore found out that the person that I consulted had been Moka.
Koji was also out of the question. Though I did think Koji was an okay person, I did not exactly agree with some his views. I got the fact that he was an incubus and that it was in his nature to be loose in terms of relationships with woman. I can't exactly blame him for that, but that didn't mean that I had to follow his upbringing. There was also the fact that I didn't want to be like him. This feeling could have been due to pride or my recent confusion about my character. I didn't care which was more accurate at this point. I just didn't want to see my friends as anything less.
Thinking through all my options, Gin was the only real choice that I had. He was a mutual friend back when Mizore and I were still in middle school. The guy knew what the me that I found more me than now would do. Sure he was a bit of a flirt, but he could still differentiate right from wrong. He even settled down when he found the right girl. Gin was honestly the perfect guy to ask advice for dealing with the opposite sex.
When I finally came back into focus and saw that while I was contemplating my options, my parents had gone from arguing to swinging around the room dancing. I could not even fathom what had happened. Were they just reminiscing about their own days in high school?
Seeing as I had disappeared from their little world, I went to go call up Gin on my cellphone. I could only hope that the newspaper company wasn't making him work overtime today. I still couldn't believe that he decided to quit school last year and managed to land a job so easily. It just went to show how talented he was in getting the scoop.
I was pleasantly surprised when Gin picked up right away. I guessed that he was able to submit his story early.
"Sup, Tsukune, haven't talked to ya in a while. Gotten popular with the ladies yet?" he asked flippantly.
I knew that he was just joking around, but his comment hit a tad bit close to home.
"Tsukune? Can ya hear me?"
"Ah… Yes I heard you. The truth is that I could use some advice," I nervously said.
Gin then mumbled something. It was clearly not directed to me, but the only things that I could catch were the letter u and number 2. Was he setting his code for some account?
"What were you saying just now?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Ah sorry. I was just talking to Sun about how youtube… in any case what do you need?"
Gin was clearly just trying to avoid the subject. It definitely had to do with some account so I didn't press too much into the matter. Even if we were friends, it would just be stupid to let others know your passwords.
"I actually needed help because I think I might be in trouble with Mizore. Mother might have told her some inaccurate things."
"Let me guess the rest. A pretty girl came by your house and your mother naturally thought ya were two-timing on Mizore."
"… Gin, how exactly do you know this?" I asked. Who wouldn't have when he had hit all the important details so quickly?
"Dude this is your mom we are talking about. She tried to hit me with a frying pan because she thought that I was a bad influence on her 'poor, misguided baby'. She even took my playful talk with Mizore as me trying to snatch her away from you," he said with a slightly annoyed tone.
"Sorry about that, Gin," I said apologetically while recalling how he had to go around school with a large lump growing on the top of his head. He couldn't even wear his signature headband due to how much it would hurt.
"Anyways, I assume ya need advice on making up with Mizore right?"
"Actually that wasn't quite it," I slightly mumbled as began to brace myself for what Gin would think of me when I would tell him what I wanted.
"Huh? But I thought ya said ya might be in trouble with Mizore. Isn't that what a person would normally ask for when this topic comes up?"
"I wanted to know if I should try explaining things to her…" I managed to say with my voice trailing off.
"…"
"Gin?" I asked fearing that he had just outright hung up on me.
"Is this about how ya don't think that ya and Mizore could be an item?"
"That about sums it up."
"Look, Tsukune, why don't ya just date Mizore? I mean you the two of ya seem like ya were made for each other. I'm sure ya got your reasons, but it's kind of hard to fathom at this point," he said with a slight tone of annoyance. I couldn't blame him for it. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have done the same thing.
"I'll tell you my reasons some other time. If it is any consolation to you, I did end up crossing off a few of my reasons earlier."
"But ya still don't intend to date Mizore?"
"…"
"Whatver man. Just make sure ya explain those reasons to me the next time I'm in town. I mean I gotta talk ya out of this stupid mentality that ya have," Gin said with a sigh.
"Sure, Gin. The next time you're here, we can have a nice chat about it."
"In any case, Tsukune, I can't exactly give ya the advice ya are looking for. I want to help Mizore because she is my friend too, but this is your love life we are talking about. If I were to make the decision for ya no one will be happy. Besides, I'm not ya. Just ask yourself what life would be like when ya make your decision. Ask yourself if ya can live with whatever decision ya want to make," Gin said before hanging up.
If only it was that simple Gin. But he was still right. Who would be happy if the decision was made by an outsider rather than the person in question? Mizore would surely have been heartbroken if I had chosen to tell her the truth and that I had done so because Gin told me to. It would have just been me trying to be nice to Mizore because I was told to do so.
I decided to follow Gin's advice and tried to imagine what life would be like between the two decisions.
Telling Mizore the truth was simple enough. I just saw my life following the same routine as it had been for the past week. There wouldn't really be any problems until the time came that I needed to make a decision of whether or not I would date Mizore. Truth be told, the question wasn't really deciding to tell Mizore the truth or not. The real question was answering the one thing Mizore and virtually everyone else has been waiting on now or later.
As I tried to imagined life if I hid the truth from Mizore, I felt my entire being gripped with fear. Mizore was someone who was always with me. I became afraid that she would disappear from my life. Although I knew that this would eventually occur if I chose not to be with Mizore, the very thought that she wouldn't be by my side terrified me. I didn't understand though. Why was I so terrified of a future without Mizore next to me? I had imagined that situation many times before, but the thought had never frightened so much.
It was pretty despicable of me. I had always been trying to get Mizore to realize that we would just be friends, but gave her the hope that there was a chance for us to date by not pushing her advances too much. I even ended up making her fend off her own mother who was trying to help her daughter get the guy that she liked. Now I had the perfect excuse to end this discussion here and now, yet I couldn't convince myself that I wanted a future without Mizore. I still couldn't find myself dating Mizore and I didn't want to hurt her further by leading her on, but I wouldn't let her go.
It was sad and ironic. This whole time, I thought that Mizore only held onto me as a crutch. I thought that she needed me to the point that it killed her social life. Though this was true, it was more so for me. I had forgotten that I needed her as well. My life up until this point and in the future revolved around her. I needed her in my life.
Even though Mizore wanted to be with me, she didn't push further because she feared my disapproval. It was the opposite for me though. I wanted to push Mizore away for her sake, but I couldn't imagine life without her. We were both just so helpless without the other. This thought just made me chuckle sadly.
In any case I needed to make a decision.
Author's Note(s)
#1: Please favorite and follow if you liked this story. Any and all reviews help. Send questions and I will probably respond to some of them by the next chapter. I do read them and consider editing previous chapters for better flow or explanations.
#2: Had a hard time for this chapter only because how the initial set up of the story is. The premise of the story makes it really hard to make a convincing story about the whole friends versus lovers in perspective of the human side. It would be a lot easier to do if I was going to go for the multiple perspectives like I do for my other story.
#3: The next chapter is going to be the bad end chapter for this story before the actual continuation. It is essentially a "what if" and will not be necessary to understand the story too much. It may contain some things that I may put later into the actual story though. If you don't like bad endings, just skip the next chapter.
