Standard disclaimer applied.

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The Uchiha Mister Blossom

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Chapter7: Ta-da! Here comes the BLOODSUCKER! The Great Hokage Tsunade is back and the cure is—

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Sakura blinked, fully realizing the extent of her words. "Well… uh—" she cleared her throat. Sasuke was looking at her weirdly. "I…" her hand shot down to grab Sasuke's wrist. "Let's go!" without a glance, the two of them rocketed out of their sight, Sasuke behind Sakura.

Lee snapped out of his gloomy reverie. "Oi! Wait! Sachi-chan! Sachi-chan! MY LOVE! MY LOVE—"

SMACK SMACK SMACK

Shikamaru sweat dropped. "Jeez… do you really have to be violent with your own teammate?"

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"What the hell's wrong with this body?" Sasuke hissed murderously.

"Be quiet." Sakura answered between clenched teeth.

Sasuke's face darkened. "Don't use that tactic on me, Sakura."

The pretty girl smirked at him bitterly. "Why? Does it feel good to be treated like that?"

"…"

"At least I didn't say "shut up"." She added, looking straight ahead. A man suddenly appeared in front of them, grinning happily at her.

"Heya, sexy little Sakura-chan! Wanna go and watch movie with— WHOAAAAA!"

SWOOSH.

"Idiot." Sakura growled.

Sasuke arched an eyebrow at her temper. However, his face turned slightly green as he felt more liquid oozing down to his inner thighs. He lifted his eyes and gulped. Leaning closer, Sasuke muttered, "Sakura."

The pink-haired hot-tempered girl glanced at him with a narrowed stare. "I said—"

"I'm bleeding to death." The Uchiha hissed between gritted teeth. "And…" Sakura saw him swallow a lump, a trickle of sweat rolling at his jaw. Or her jaw.

Shame.

"What?" This time, Sakura's face showed concern.

The boy— ahem, the girl— sighed shakily before answering in a throaty low tone, so sexy that Inner Sakura swooned, drooling shamelessly—

SASUKE-KUUUUUUUN… WHISPER MY NAME WHISPER IT!!! The annoying pest shrieked.

"It's so uncomfortable."

Slapping her Inner self in the face to make the pest shut up, Sakura sighed, "I know. But—"

"That's a nice chick with hellacious finger-lickin' coconuts!!" a drooling voice said.

"…?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

Beside him, Sakura sweat dropped. "Out of the way, Jiraiya-sama." At this, the dark-haired boy/slash/girl shivered. The hell?

The Sannin grinned maliciously. "Yours?" Jiraiya asked with a roguish wink.

"You betcha." Sakura replied distractedly, brushing past the Sannin.

Jiraiya's eyes widened. He staggered back, white as marble. "WHAAAAAAAAA— ahhhhhhhhhh!!"

THUD.

"Huh?" The two young ninjas looked back, confused, then down to the unconscious Sannin who was laying stiff in the ground. Jiraiya's eyes were wide and white. A flood of blood was rushing out of his nose.

Curious, Sakura peered down. "Oi, oi— Jiraiya-sama?" But the white-haired Sannin remained stiff as a blackboard, looking up to the sky with a stupefied expression.

The girl glanced at Sasuke. "Was it something I said?" she asked. Sasuke shrugged.

"Let's go."

"Does your lower tummy hurt?" asked Sakura, still holding Sasuke's wrist.

"No…" He growled out.

"Honestly?"

Sasuke scowled. "Just a bit."

"Does it really hurt to be honest once in a while?" Sakura drawled, eyebrows raised in which Sasuke replied with a frightening frown. The girl only grinned lopsidedly.

"You are so unlucky…"

"Shut up."

Sakura twitched. Her grip on his wrist tightened. "SEE? THAT'S SO RUDE! You're the one who wanted to talk— to ask—"

"Damn it to hell…" Sasuke hissed at the feel of pain building up at his pelvis. He looked down to his skirt— burn it, missing the murderous look that Sakura sent his way.

"YES DAMN YOU TO HELL!"

"What?" Sasuke snapped, offhandedly. "Sakura—"his eyebrows twitched as Sakura whipped a finger, pointing it at him, at his nose like a fencing sword.

"YOU LISTEN TO ME—"

"Can you shut up? I'm bleeding—" Sasuke snarled quietly, his brows now in perfect frown that so, so, so, so aroused the traitor Inner Sakura.

YES! A PERFECT FROWN— a frown of LOVE!

"Are YOU STUPID? It's menstruating! You are NOT bleeding—" she growled, leaning closer to show him her burning eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you THAT!?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to argue and tell her not to breathe on him. It was arousing— no. It was annoying.

"IT. IS. MENSTRUATING." Sakura emphasized each word, her eyes going larger in each word.

"What the hell is that—"

Sakura blinked then tossed her head back, a mocking laugh resounding from her mouth. "My, my… and you call yourself GENIUS Uchiha!"

Sharingan swirled dangerously.

"Oh, oh! No offense meant, Uchiha-sama… Come on, come on…" Sasuke can tell from her tone and glittering green eyes that she was still mocking him. "It's what they call the dreaded monthly period."

Sasuke blinked.

Inner Sakura slobbered. ADORABLE! LICK HIM!

Shut up.

"Time of the month? Monthly period. Menstrual cycle." Sakura elaborated. The Uchiha remained staring.

"Oh yeah. PMS."

He blinked again.

Inner Sakura roared. LICK HIM. NOW.

Idiot.

"You mean… I got to wear a pad?"

Sakura tried to suppress a grin. "Well, you can use a tampon too… AKA… BLOODSUCKER!" Unable to hold it any longer, she laughed. "Wow… after this week…you are going to be so fertile…"

Mangekyou Sharingan flashed out at her ominously.

"SORRY! SORRY! Can't take a joke, can you?"

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Sasuke rushed out of the bathroom, panting. The hell!

"Well?" asked Sakura who leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door.

"Well what?" he snapped. Sakura smiled.

"Don't worry. It would only take 4-6 days. But it really depends on your body."

He grunted.

Sakura's red lips tugged upwards. "I can't believe it… You're actually having a period."

Sasuke chose not to reply. The urge to spit out a fireball was all too consuming.

"…does it really mean that you are a girl…for real? Body and soul?"

"Shut up." He gritted, eyes closed, his brow twitching.

Sakura sniggered. "I don't think Orochimaru/slash/homo/boy-addict would still like you." Her smile turned into a wide, toothy grin. Teeth, gums and all. "After all, he's after beautiful young boys."

Sauske opened his eyes, glaring at her.

Sakura's green eyes flittered mischievously. "See? Being a girl does have advantages…"

"Can't you keep quiet?" he growled, clearly losing his temper.

The grin, if possible, turned wider. Her green eyes were twinkling, taunting him. "I can't." She paused, biting her lip to repress her laugh. "Sachi-chan."

The urge to strangle that lovely neck was too strong so he chose to turn around instead of doing exactly what he wanted to do: SPIT A FIREBALL OF VENOM and burn that shirt, the bra and stare at her—

Damn it.

"And oh, Sasuke-kun!"

"Shut up." He retorted, turning the knob of his bedroom door.

"Tsunade-sama will arrive tomorrow!"

He froze.

"Really?"

"Yep. So smile and shine, Sachi-chan."

Sasuke's eyes darkened. "Stop it or I'll burn your house."

"TRY IT!"

"Che."

"SASUKE-KUN!" She stomped towards him but her face greeted the wood of his door. "Sexy asshole."

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Tsunade frowned, deep in thought. "I see." She murmured, nodding knowingly.

"Well… can you reverse the jutsu? Lift it off?" asked Sakura anxiously.

"Hmmm…" Tsunade closed her eyes, putting her chin atop of her interlaced fingers.

"Shishou." Sakura called.

"Hmmm…"

"Oi! Shi— shou—" Sakura repeated loudly.

"Hmmm…"

Sasuke glared at her pointedly. "Shut up, Sakura."

"Hmmm…"

"What did you say?" the girl turned to him, hissing.

"Hmmm…"

"I said, shut up." He repeated bluntly.

"Hmmm…"

A massive vein pounded. "Don't SHUT UP me! Why are you so rude to me!"

"Hmmm…"

"I'm not rude." Sasuke retorted.

"Hmmm…"

"And now— that's news! Telling someone to shut up is so, so, so, so, so RUDE!" Sakura snapped.

"Hmmm…"

"You're ruining her concentration." He said critically.

"Hmmm…"

"I'm not ruining her concentration, you idiot!" Sakura shouted.

"Hmmm…"

"Now, who's being rude?" Sasuke snarled, pissed off.

"Hmmm…"

"You are ruder!" She snarled back.

"Hmmm…"

"You are." Sasuke snapped.

"Hmmm…"

"Telling someone to shut up is ruder! Didn't your mother teach you that?" Sakura fought back.

"Hmmm…"

A massive vien pounded, as large as Sakura's. "Now you are stupid. If only my darling brother let my mother live longer then maybe she'll be able to do so."

"Hmmm…"

"Well, you are old enough to know what manners are, Uchiha! Didn't you evolve from being primitive to civilized?" She sneered, smirking.

"Hmmm…"

"How dare you insult me, Haruno." His red eyes were on, annoyed.

"Hmmm…"

"Yes I dare!" Annoyingly, Sakura puffed out.

"Hmmm…"

"You're being stupid." Sasuke dragged out.

"Hmmm…"

Large eyes. "How dare you call me stupid, UCHIHA!"

"Hmmm…"

Narrowed eyes. "I didn't directly call you stupid."

"Hmmm…"

"You did!" Sakura growled.

"Hmmm…"

"I said you're being stupid." Sasuke drawled.

"Hmmm…"

Vein. Vein. "THAT'S IT!"

"Hmmm…"

Smirk. Smirk. "I indirectly imply that you're acting stupid— not really stupid. Got it?"

"Hmmm…"

WIPE OFF THAT SMIRK! "Indirectly? In human speech, as long as you say stupid— indirectly or directly— it is RUDE!"

"Hmmm…"

Are you stupid? "It is not. I didn't directly call you STUPID."

"Hmmm…"

Larger eyes. "WHAT? That's a twisted logic—"

"Hmmm…"

Wider smirk. "YOU have twisted logic."

"Hmmm…"

The vein exploded. "SEE? You really are RUDE!"

"Hmmm…"

The smirk turned into a sneer. "You're insulting me, Haruno. I'm not stupid to just listen to you talk shit—"

"Hmmm…"

"I'M NOT TALKING SHIT! I USED HUMAN SPEECH!" Sakura shouted.

"Hmmm…"

"Really? Human, you say?" Sasuke snarled.

"Hmmm…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" hissed Sakura.

"Hmmm…"

Sasuke crossed his arms. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Hmmm…"

"You're dead." Sakura said coldly.

"Hmmm…"

"And I'm scared. Really." The Uchiha raised a brow arrogantly.

"Hmmm…"

"YOU—"She began.

"I can't."

They both froze.

"What?" Sasuke hissed.

Tsunade looked up somberly. "I can't help you, Sasuke."