Note: Credit to Chip903 for the ideas.
Chapter Seven
Voices
The next day, everyone was in the Battle Shell on their journey home, April and Casey drove the Battle Shell whilst everyone hid in the back. Mona stood at the back doors as she watched the Farmhouse disappear from view.
"Don't worry Mona" said Donatello "we'll return there again soon"
"Yeah" said Michelangelo "We'll come back in the autumn and see the falling leaves! You'll see the snow in the winter and the blossoms in the spring!"
Mona chuckled, "I look forward to returning there soon" she said as she looked away from the window and sat down.
Raphael sat next to her and Mona rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.
Leonardo looked away from them and tried to concentrate on something else, he had an Ipod so he decided to listen to some music hoping that would distract him from the lovebirds.
He scrolled through the playlist trying to find a distracting song.
He looked up at Donatello, Michelangelo and Splinter.
Michelangelo was lying on his back on some blankets and listening to his own Ipod.
Donatello was sitting next to him with his back against the side of the van with his eyes closed and Splinter was sitting cross legged and meditating.
Leonardo did find it interesting that Splinter could meditate even when they were in a moving vehicle, he had tried it a few times, but he preferred to be somewhere still and no noise around him.
He leaned back against the side of the Battle Shell and clicked the play button on his Ipod and the sound of some soothing Classical music flowed through the earphones.
Leonardo then closed his eyes as the rock of the battle shell started to lull him to sleep, he hadn't been able to sleep properly due to his feelings about Raphael and Mona even with his meditation to calm his mind so he was feeling exhausted.
As he closed his eyes he felt calmed and soothed by the classical music.
Leonardo's peaceful moment didn't last long as suddenly he heard some voices in his ears, he shook his head trying to focus on what the voices were saying.
"You want her!" came the voice, "You want her, but that hot-head stole her from you!"
"She chose him!" Leonardo argued in his head, "Raph was her choice, they love each other, he didn't take her from me!"
"Bullshit!" came the voice, "You wanted her! You did everything for her! You felt pain for her! You trained her! You did everything for her? What did that hot head do for her? Nothing!"
"Who are you anyway?" Leonardo argued back "Why are you hounding me with these thoughts?"
"I am your mind! I am your heart! Your conscience!" said the voice again. "No way!" said Leonardo.
"I'm your mind...giving you someone to talk to" came the same voice.
Leonardo sighed, "Someone to talk to...my imagination?" he said.
"You are in Misery Leonardo" said the voice, "I know one day you will snap! Even though the great Masters have taught you many things, their teachings have not involved never feeling again, you may be able to withstand physical pain, but you will never stand the wounds of emotional and spiritual pain! You have fallen victim to these before!"
"I have..." said Leonardo "But I can do better, I have learnt much!
"You will not stay sane forever Leo" said the voice again, "you will one day crack, you will fall! And someone will be hurt"
"Oh stop it!" said Leonardo "I know I can get through this! I will accept my brother is in a relationship with the woman I love! I will get over it!"
"You will crumble...you think you won't but you will!"
"I will not crumble!" argued Leonardo.
He then opened his eyes as he felt someone shaking his shoulder. He looked up at saw Donatello waking him up, "we're back in New York bro" said Donatello. Leonardo blinked several times as he tried to shake the cobwebs of sleep from his eyes.
"You've been asleep for a while" said Donatello.
"Have I?" said Leonardo "Wow" Donatello held out his arm for is brother and Leonardo grabbed it so Donatello could pull him to his feet.
"We're saying goodbye to April and Casey before we head back to the lair" said Donatello.
Leonardo nodded and stretched before walking to the back of the Battle Shell where April and Casey were saying goodbye to everyone before they headed into the Shop.
"We'll see you soon guys" said April "And well done again Mona" she added as she hugged Mona "Thanks April" said Mona.
After a while they made it back to the lair, "Home sweet home" said Michelangelo happily as he walked over to the TV area and turned on the TV.
Donatello instantly ran to his lab/medical room.
Michelangelo cocked his head on one side as he watched his brother run off to the lab/medical room, he then remembered Donatello had taken a blood sample from Mona after she was injured by the last battle they had with the Purple Dragons after realising she could heal faster than normal.
Meanwhile Splinter walked into his quarters, whilst Raphael went up to his room, Leonardo walked into the middle of the lair and took out his swords so he could practice his swordplay.
Mona rolled her eyes at Leonardo training; he never seemed to stop training. She decided to go to her own room.
Leonardo swung his swords about, it seemed to be his only way at staying calm and distracting himself away from Raphael and Mona. As the blades swung about, the lights from the ceiling bounced off the shiny steel.
Swinging his blades and hearing the air whistle as they went, Leonardo felt a slight sense of calm, right now he felt calm, but he knew he couldn't practice forever, now they were home.
Leonardo knew he would have to deal with seeing his brother and Mona together every day.
As he executed a spin with his blades he almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Master Splinter standing before him and he had almost got him with the blades.
"Yah!" cried Leonardo in shock. He stood still and placed his katana on his back before bowing to Splinter who bowed back.
"Sorry Master" he said "I nearly had a heart attack, almost thought I was gonna slash you" "Apologies" said Splinter.
The old rat then looked at Leonardo with a serious look. "Are you ok Leonardo?" he asked.
"I'm fine" said Leonardo, he wondered why Splinter was asking him that, but then he thought that Splinter knew how he felt about Raphael and Mona.
"Are you sure my son?" asked Splinter "I have seen you looking tense and pained"
Leonardo looked at Splinter and sighed, he knew he couldn't hide anything from his Sensei. "Come into my quarters my son" said Splinter "and we shall talk" Leonardo agreed and went with Splinter into his quarters
As soon as they got inside, Splinter lit a couple of candles and lit some incense; he then knelt down and motioned for Leonardo to sit opposite him.
Leonardo knelt down and relaxed. "I have seen a look in your eyes that worries me my son" said Splinter.
"What?" asked Leonardo even though he already knew the answer.
"The way you look at your brother and Monalisa" said Splinter.
Leonardo bit his lip, there really was no hiding from Splinter even though he had managed to avoid talking to Donatello he couldn't talk his way out of talking to his sensei.
"I have seen you look angered, heartbroken" said Splinter "I know your heart is broken"
Leonardo tried to fight back his tears but a few escaped and fell from his eyes, Splinter noticed, "It is alright Leonardo" he said "you can let out your emotions"
Leonardo was hesitant but he couldn't stop the tears. "I'm in love with Mona, since she moved in with us and I got to know her" he said softly "But she has chosen Raph...and not me"
Splinter sighed sadly, "I am sorry my son" he said placing his hand on Leonardo's shoulder "I know it hurts when the woman you love loves someone else"
"You have no idea" Leonardo thought staring at his hands.
"It will hurt for a while my son, but you will heal, Mona loves you, even if it a different love" said Splinter "There is no reason why you cannot remain friends"
"I care so much for Mona" said Leonardo, "I feel the need to protect her, I would go to the ends of the earth for her, I'd fight many Purple Dragon gangsters and Foot Ninja for her...I'd bleed for her...I would die for her"
Splinter squeezed Leonardo's shoulder sympathetically.
"So honourable Leonardo" said Splinter "You are truly so honourable"
Leonardo managed a weak smile, "It's true Master Splinter" he said, "I would do anything to protect the family"
Splinter then reached up and wiped away some of Leonardo's tears from his eyes. "You are hurt Leonardo" he said "But I promise, the wound will heal..."
Leonardo nodded, "I want to be happy for Mona and Raphael" he said "Mona deserves so much after what happened to her".
"No you don't!" screamed a voice within his head, Leonardo grimaced "You want Mona! You want her for yourself!"
Leonardo tried to push the voice away from his mind "Shut up!" he said in his head "just shut up!".
He looked at Splinter who stood up and walked over to him, he then stood before his eldest son and wrapped his arms around him like he used to do when Leonardo was a young turtle and was upset.
Leonardo gratefully rested his head against Splinter's chest and the tears fell freely, "You can grieve as long as you need to my son" said Splinter "you are hurting but you will heal...I promise"
Leonardo nodded "I loved her Master Splinter" he said in a shaking voice as the tears fell.
Splinter held him closer and stroked the back of his shell comfortingly. "I just wish I had said something sooner" he swallowed hard as is throat hurt, "Please...please don't tell the others about this" he begged his sensei.
"I will not breathe a word Leonardo" said Splinter "you have my word"
Leonardo gripped Splinter's robes as he cried softly. Splinter continued to comfort him and stroked the back of his shell. "Just cry my son" he said softly "just cry...it hurts now but you will heal...you can get through this"
As Leonardo cried in Splinter's arms, he felt so low, here he was, the strong fearless leader of the ninja turtles, now in a crumpled heap in the arms of his sensei like a frightened child.
"Look at yourself" that little voice whispered in his brain "crumpled in the arms of your father, crying like a frightened child! What kind of fearless leader are you?"
Leonardo tried to ignore the voice in his brain, but it was hard, he hugged Splinter tightly as he continued to cry softly.
Even though he had felt a slight comfort after talking to Splinter he still felt so low and devastated and all these thoughts about how he really felt despite trying to say he didn't feel that way, it was killing him within.
Oh dear, Leonardo's hearing voices in his head, this isn't a good sign. Is he going mad or is it just his imagination?
But he has spoken to Splinter about how he's feeling, but hasn't spoken about the voices in his head. I wanted to show some comforting Father/Son moments and thought this was perfect, even the toughest of ninjas need comfort. Poor Leonardo.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter!
