Disclaimer: See part 1: Into the Night; Adrian, Kathryn, Ross and his parents belong to me
*Note: This is part 6 in the Into the Night Series
********
Torn
Harm and Mac's Residence
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
7:50 Romeo, May 16
Mac held the wriggling infant in her arms. At six weeks old, she was small but strong. Kathryn Jessica MacKenzie Rabb had light brown hair and deep hazel eyes. Harm had never seen Mac so happy. She was the light of their life.
Mac had taken extended leave to be home with the baby. She learned the baby's different cries and what they meant almost immediately. Harm and Mac never got frustrated when they did everything they possibly could, and Kathryn still cried, nor did they get angry over nights of lost sleep. It was truly a blessing that they had Kathryn at all.
"Say bye bye to Daddy, Kat. He has to go to work now."
Harm took the gurgling and smiling baby into his arms. He planted a kiss on her forehead and handed her back to Mac.
"Someone wants breakfast." Mac cooed. Harm kissed Mac passionately.
"I'll call you at lunch. I love you, both."
"We love you, too."
********
Rock Creek Park
Washington, D.C.
13:33 Romeo, May 20
It was a beautiful spring day. It was warm, the flowers were in full bloom and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Mac and Harm held hands and took turns pushing the stroller as they walked through the park.
They settled on a spot that had partial shade and spread a blanket out on the grass. Mac and Harm had packed a picnic lunch. "I can't believe she's here and she's ours." Mac said smiling. Harm held the bundle of endless pink. She was so adorable in her sleeper and tiny hat as he fed her a bottle of formula. In less than two weeks, Kathryn would officially be theirs.
********
Harm and Mac's Residence
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
18:36 Romeo, May 20
"Anything else we need?" Harm asked, about to go to the store to get the fixings for dinner.
"Diapers, formula." Mac replied. He had asked her if she wanted to go and take a break and he would stay with the baby but she had refused.
"Are you sure you don't want to come?"
"Positive. This little one needs a bath."
Harm kissed them both before leaving.
********
Not more than two minutes later, there was a knock. Harm must have gotten to the car and realized he forgot his keys, Mac thought. He had done so numerous times the past few weeks.
She unlocked the door, balancing the baby in her arms. "Harm, I can't believe you forgot your keys again." she said, undoing the chain.
Opening the door, Mac was shocked to see who was standing there. It was Adrian. "Uh Hi Sweetie. Come on in." They sat down in the living room.
"I have a problem."
"Did Mom kick you out again?"
"No, nothing like that. I just needed to see her."
"Of course." Mac said awkwardly. Mac handed the baby to her sister. She had dressed her in a yellow sleeper with little white lambs on it after she had spit up on the yellow one. Mac forced a smile as she felt dread building up inside of her.
"I just wanted to see her before...I wanted you to hear it from me first."
Mac's false smile quickly subsided as the words sank into her head. She didn't want to hear this. The feeling over her dark and foreboding, she knew what was coming next.
"I want her back, Mac." Adrian said painfully, she seemed as if she were about the cry. "I really thought I would be alright giving her up. I never expected to feel this empty. A part of me is missing. I never wanted to hurt you or Harm. I wanted to tell you before some lawyer did."
Mac wanted to scream and she wanted to cry. Instead, she just sat there in shock. She had to remind herself to breathe. "Where are you going to live? How are you going to support yourselves?" Mac said, her voice shaking.
"Mom offered to help. Plus, I have a job. I graduate in less than two months. Ross wants to marry me when he comes into port and I said yes. His parents want the baby and I to live with them. I can go to college at night. I have it all planned."
"It sounds great, but can you really do it all? You're so young. Do you even know what you're saying?" Mac said. Only it wasn't her voice, it was someone else's. This was not happening to her, it was happening to someone else. Finally, Mac let go as reality sank in. Tears rolled down her face. She was losing Kathryn . She stood up. "I'll...I'll go...pack her things."
"I won't get her until tomorrow afternoon. I want you and Harm to say goodbye. But I hope its not goodbye forever. I want you to be a part of her someday, if you want to, when you're ready." Adrian kissed the baby's head and handed her back to Mac. Mac stood in the middle of the living room like a zombie. She didn't even notice that Adrian had left. She felt so numb. She sank to the floor and she and Kathryn both cried.
********
Harm entered the apartment to find Mac sobbing on the floor holding the wailing baby. He set down the groceries where he stood and rushed over to them. He took the baby from her arms and set her down in the cradle and she calmed down. "Mac, what happened sweetie?" he asked gently, kneeling down.
"She's not ours." Mac said. He could barely make out her words.
"In less than two weeks she will be, Mac." he put his hand on her shoulder and brought her to him.
"No."
"What?"
"Adrian wants her back." she said, in barely a whisper. Harm wrapped his hands tighter around her trembling body.
I knew this would happen, he thought. He loved Kathryn as much as Mac did. They took turns with feedings, baths, and diaper changes. When he was a child he learned to not get too attached to things because what he loved was always taken away. His father was taken away. He'd finally been able to let go and allow himself to love Mac. Part of him didn't want to get too attached to Kathryn because of that same fear of loss. But he couldn't help it. The baby had warmed his heart immediately.
"Maybe she'll change her mind." Harm said, hoping there was truth in his words.
********
Harm and Mac's Residence
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
17:09 Romeo, May 21
They all had a miserable night. Neither Harm nor Mac slept. The only one who could sleep was Kathryn, who felt safe and secure who didn't know everything around her was in an upheaval because of her. Mac and Harm tried to make the best of their last hours with Kathryn.
Harm had informed the Admiral of the situation. He was very understanding and he had ordered that Harm take the day off. He suggested that they take it to court. Harm told Admiral Chegwidden that he and Mac had discussed it and didn't want to go that route. The Admiral then wished two of his best people luck.
Harm was very worried about Mac. He was torn up over this, but Mac was more fragile. She had lost so much, gone through so much. He wasn't sure she would be able to handle another loss. He wasn't even sure if he could. She'd gone off the deep end and back into the arms of alcohol after the miscarriage months earlier. He played the role of the strong one, and grieved when no one was looking. But Mac internalized everything, letting it corrode her, and nearly destroyed herself. Would she shut down again? She had been less than three months pregnant when it had happened. What would losing a baby she got to know and love do to her?
And then the moment of truth came as they heard a knock at the door. Adrian appeared in front of them. Harm took the baby from Mac and handed her to Adrian. Harm said something to Adrian but Mac didn't hear him. Then came the burst of screaming and crying. Everything was a blur. Harm tried to console her but she pushed him away. Everything happened so fast, Mac felt like she was spinning. She was falling off a cliff and she didn't know which way was up and she pushed away her only lifeline.
********
