Hey guys! Sorry for the long break in writing this story; I had a bit of writer's block. But after a nice revelation, and some wonderful comments from you guys, I am back and excited to keep this going! =]
This chapter is a bit slow; I do apologize. But it's necessary to keep the story moving along.
To answer a commenter from some time ago: Yes, the pot smoking is necessary. Why? Well, have you ever heard the saying "Write what you know"? I know pot. I am an avid smoker and do most of my writing while I'm high. I personally find myself able to communicate more openly and honestly when I'm stoned, and I decided to take this trait and give it to my version of Jade. If Victorious (which I don't own, blah blah blah) was a more adult show, I wouldn't put it past Jade or Beck (maybe Andre) to be pot smokers. And I am an adult fan, so this is what you're getting. I do apologize if it offends anyone, but as a sort of hippie child who just has a guilty pleasure for Victorious, my world's seem to mesh. I will say that the pot smoking, which I find to be such a normal thing (I forget it's actually illegal...) will not be stopping anytime soon.
At any rate, here is chapter seven. =]
Jade's POV
I woke up this morning groggy and confused as a mop of chestnut hair lay sprawled out across my chest. I blink a few times to clear my eyes and reflect on last night. Man, I was really stoned. But it's not like I didn't want to come here. Deep down in my bitter and guarded heart, I did want to be here for Vega, I just needed to clear my head and think. Yeah, smoking clearing my head sounds a bit redundant, but those are the times I feel I'm most logical and sincere. And I sincerely needed to make sure she was okay.
But while I want to be there for her, I also want to be as far away as possible. She's always getting under my skin and invading my brain; It's overwhelming me immensely. She also needs to learn to be alone, and I can't have her getting used to me being around all the time; it'll just end up hurting her. Still, I'm glad I came here last night. It was a moment in my life that I will not forget, though I do not believe I will ever feel completely comfortable with it.
I try slipping away from her grasp without waking her. It's 7:00am and I have to go to school; no sense in waking her up so early. I quietly move from the bed, and she sighs softly and turns over, but stays asleep. I tip toe out of her room and into the hallway. I get down the stairs, thankful her parents weren't in the kitchen or living room. I start to put my shoes on, facing the door and ready to leave and meet Beck to take me home, when I feel a hand grab my shoulder. I jump, ready to strike whoever it was by instinct but quickly being put into a hold by this mysterious captor. They were strong, and I started to panic, thinking somehow Ryder got out and was here. But even Ryder wasn't strong enough for this. I turn my head as much as I can in this grip lock, and my eyes almost pop out of my head.
"Trina?! Let me go!" I shout, trying to break free. She shrugs and let's me go, backing up and looking at me suspiciously.
"So what if I was my mom or dad? You would've tried to hit them?" She asks, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I was snuck up on; I can't be held accountable for what I do when I'm put in attack mode."
"Well you didn't put up much of an attack, huh?" A smug smile forms on her lips, and I hate, no...absolutely loathe the fact that Trina was able to out do me. All I do is grunt and turn away. I finish putting my shoes on, going towards the door, but Trina quickly moves in front of me, blocking my exit.
"Not so fast, Jade! It's 7:00am, and here you are sneaking out of my house, looking disheveled. And Tori was drinking some wine last night, which I know makes her a bit flirty. So what I want to know is-"
"Oh my God, Trina!" I interrupt, not wanting to hear the rest of her stupid story. " What the hell is your problem?! I didn't...how could you think that's what I'm doing? You think I'd try to hook up with Tori after what happened to her? And then leave?!" Trina face changes; She looks less serious and much more relaxed. I also see a look I'm not quite able to comprehend. It's almost...pride. Like she just discovered something she's been looking for.
"Oh...so you wouldn't hook up with Tori because of what happened?" She finally says, as her eyes lock with mine and she moves her hands to her hips.
"No. I wouldn't. Are you deaf?" I hiss back, crossing my arms and rolling my eyes.
"So...you're saying you would hook up with Tori if that didn't happen?" A small smirk forms on her lips, and I suddenly find it difficult to keep looking her in the eye. I grow uncomfortable, and I suddenly resort to the only thing that ever makes sense to me; anger.
"Fuck you, Trina. Why I'm here has nothing to do with any of this. I know it's almost impossible, but try getting laid so you can't stop thinking about sex all the time. I mean, you're so fucking desperate that you need to fantasize about your sister's sex life? Pathetic." I feel my face turning red as drop my arms to the side, my hands balling into fists. I half expect Trina to try coming back at me, or to have a hissy fit and strut away. But she doesn't do either; she just keeps staring at me, not wavering at all. I suddenly start to panic internally, because I begin to realize that the thought of Vega and me...physically...made me blow up. Why? Why can't anything with Tori Vega be easy?! I take a deep breath, then finally give up the battle. I look down at the ground, unable to keep my eyes on Trina's, and she knows she's won.
"I just...I came her because she texted me saying she missed me and...well..." I exhale, uncomfortable with being so open to Trina. "...she told me she wished I was here to protect her. So I came over and stayed with her the night. That's it. No games, no being mean, and definitely nothing physical. Just...being her friend...thing..." I look up at Trina, whose smirk is now soft and less intimidating. She chuckles a bit, finally looking away, which is a huge wave of relief for me.
"Well, I think that was very nice of you, Jade. It almost makes up for your outburst a few moments ago. But I think I can let it slide. And maybe I'll even be nice enough to neglect mentioning that I, Trina Vega, am much stronger than Jade West." I glare at her, pushing her aside and finally getting to the door and slamming it behind me. As I'm about to walk off their porch, the door swings back open, and Trina runs outside.
"Jade! Wait! I...how is she?" Her words stop me in my tracks, and I sigh before turning back to face her.
"She's getting better. She might need you at night, though. I can't...I shouldn't be here so often..." I bite my lip; I need to stop talking.
"You shouldn't or you can't?" She asks, as she tilts her head curiously. I search for a response, but my brain fails me; I blame it on being too early to function. I don't speak, and she just smiles and goes back inside. I stand there for a moment, trying to understand what exactly Trina was getting at. I always took her for being such a prissy, self-centered bitch, but she's been throwing me for a whirl recently. I hear Beck's truck pull up and beep; I shake my head and run to his truck.
Tori's POV
I woke up when I realized I was the only person occupying my bed. I opened my eyes, knowing Jade would be gone, but still sad to see the sight. She was so sweet and caring last night; it still feels unreal. But when I needed her most, she appeared. It was like so many dreams I've had before that I've tried to push away or ignore. All those feelings I've tossed between and tried to make sense of finally came together and suddenly it isn't so hard to say that...I really like Jade West.
And I realized that I've really liked her since I saw her soft and vulnerable side when her and Beck broke up the first time. She was still Jade, very brash and intimidating. But she was also so desperate and...even adorable. I realized that she was such a complex and mysterious individual and every thing about it intrigued me.
But when the person you can't get off your mind treats you like you're lower that dirt, you start to feel crazy. I mean, how could she be on my mind in any way that wasn't negative? It didn't make sense to me, so I did what I normally do when I can't handle something; I pushed all the feelings away, both the bad and the good. And the night of the party, deep down, I knew I was going not to just prove that I wasn't such a good girl, but to prove to Jade I was worth being nice to. Because maybe if she liked me, I could let myself feel for her again.
Well, that night didn't go as planned. But something did end up happening between Jade and I and now...the feelings have resurfaced. The only difference between last time and now is that Jade has opened up to me in a way I've never seen before. She was selfless; she was here for me, and not for herself.
The only issue is that just because she was taking care of me doesn't mean it was anything more than her being my friend. And while I am so happy to have her be a friend, whether or not she'll admit it, it doesn't change the fact that I have really strong and crazy feelings for her. The only time I'm not worrying about everything with Ryder is when she's here, or if I'm thinking about her.
And while I'm not ready to go back to school for a few days, I still sort of wish I was there just so I could be around her.
This is not what I need right now. I do not need further confusion or anxiety, especially from the person who makes me feel the most safe. And if she finds out, it could totally destroy the bits and pieces of our friendship that I've been putting together for so long.
I sit up, running my fingers through my hair and looking around my room until my eyes land on my clock; 10:00am. I have to leave for the police station at 11. I sigh, getting up and grabbing a robe and towel before heading towards the bathroom. Of course Trina is in there, screaming...I mean...singing her head off while blow drying her hair. I wait a few minutes quietly, but soon loose patience and the ability to hear. I start pounding on the door as hard as I can.
"Trina! Hurry the heck up!" I lean against wall across from the door as I hear the blow dryer stop. There's some movement and shuffling around in the bathroom, but finally, she emerges.
"Well hey there, baby sister! How was your night?" she asks me. with a big smile glued to her face.
"You should know, Trina. You were with me." I try to push past her into the bathroom, but she doesn't move.
"Yeah, I was. But you know what's funny? When I fell asleep, Jade wasn't here. But when I woke up, she was trying to sneak out of the house. Weird, right?" Trina raises an eyebrow and I feel a blush spread across my face.
"Jade came over last night. So what?" I ask innocently, though after my talk with Trina last night, I doubt I'll be able to get anything past her.
"So...what are you thinking?" She asks, and I'm almost taken back by her question. She isn't pestering or prying about anything that could be juicy gossip; she's just genuinely curious about what's on my mind.
"I...I don't know. I'm thinking a lot of things. Some bad...but some...kind of good." I smile to myself, thinking of how absolutely wonderful last night was. Trina nods and moves away from the bathroom door.
"Don't text her. Let her text you first." She says, and before I can question her on it, she disappears into her room. I shrug and enter the bathroom, wishing that for just one second, my mind could be completely clear. And that I didn't have to go to the police station today.
And that Jade was here.
Jade's POV
I wonder how Tori is doing right now. Last night was...unreal. What made me go there? Why did I want to? What is it about her that makes me need to care for her? And since when do I care at all? Everything is changing...and man, do I loathe changes. But having her there, laying in my arms...fuck, I can't get the image out of my head. And how is it possible for someone to be so soft? I can't get over it. God damn it Vega...of course you'd do this to me. Of fucking course it had to be you! And you have no idea, either! Still the same innocent and sweet Tori Vega. I mean, I hope she's okay. But I wish she'd leave my head and just-
"Hello? Earth to Jade? Hello?!"
I jump up, looking around at the lunch table. Everyone is staring at me with a skeptical look; it's not like me to space out.
"You alive in there?" Beck asks, waving his hand in front of my face. I swat it away and growl at him, and he instantly backs off.
"Damn, sorry. You okay?" I can see the genuine look of concern in his face. What am I supposed to say? I may or may not be falling for the girl you wanted and probably left me for? And I can't get her of my mind? And I'm going crazy because I want it all to stop and go back to normal?
Not a chance.
"I'm fine." I say dryly, as I look down at my food, trying to muster up an appetite. A burger and fries sounds absolutely awful, though I'm not sure I could eat much of anything right now.
"How is Tori doing, Jade? Is she any better? I was thinking about going to see her today and bringing her flowers! Flowers cheer everyone up. This one time, my brother and I were picking flowers, and then he started-"
"She's fine, Cat." I quickly interrupt. "She'd probably enjoy a visit. And knowing her, she'll like flowers, too. But I really couldn't care less about your brother or your stupid story, so please just shut up." Her eyes widen, changing from excited to sad. I feel bad for upsetting Cat, but I'm just so mixed up it's making me incredibly irritable.
"Dang, Jade. That was bitter...even for you." Andre says, giving me a disappointed look only a parent could pull off.
"Whatever. Sorry, Cat. Yeah...go see Tori. She'd probably like to see all of you honestly. Call her just to make sure she's up for it, though." Cat nods, perking up a bit as she leans against Andre affectionately for standing up for her. He puts his arm around her, and she giggles while stealing a few of his french fries. I'm glad someone can put up with her bubbly personality on a regular basis.
It takes me a moment to realize that Robbie isn't sitting with us, and that I hadn't seen him all day. In fact, I haven't seen or heard from him since the party.
"Hey, where's Robbie been?" I ask, seeing the same curious look on Andre and Cat's faces.
"I don't know...I haven't seen him for a while now that I think about it." Andre says, and Cat nods in agreement.
"I saw him at his locker earlier, but he took off pretty quickly to class. I think he's avoiding us." Beck says, grabbing a handful of my fries and smirking as he eat them. I glare at him, but just push the tray his way.
"Well he's being stupid. Nothing happened to him, it happened to Tori."
"Yeah, but Jade...I think it kind of scared him." Cat says softly with a look of sorrow.
"So what? It scared all of us. And it scared Tori the most. He's being a little bitch. And a selfish one at that. He doesn't even care about how Tori is, does he?" I grab my water bottle and start drinking it down, while Cat tilts her head, looking at me with uncertainty.
"Well...since when do you care about Tori? I thought you didn't like her..." The fear in Cat's voice is evident, because she knows asking me a question like this is probably going to set me off. I almost choke on my water, but swallow it and toss the bottle onto the table. I grab my bag and toss my books into it.
"You defend the psychotic puppet boy for ditching his friend in need and only caring about himself, but you question the person who's been bending over backwards for her? Cool."
"It's just new to us, Jade. You never liked her before." Andre says calmly, always trying to resolve conflict.
"I never said I did now." I don't know why I said that. Everyone at the table knows that this is a bold faced lie. They don't respond to me, but the silence drives me mad. I toss my bag over my shoulder and leave the table. I hear Beck call my name, but I don't stop moving. I don't care where I go, I just need to get away from here. I go into the janitors closet, shutting the door behind me and sitting down, leaning against the door.
She's driving me crazy; she won't leave my brain. I have never wanted to help someone so badly and I've never cared about someone so much. And I hate it! I fucking hate it. I hate it because people just hurt other people, and I am no exception to this rule. Tori has been through too much as it is, and I know I'll mess it up. I just know it. I can't like her...I just can't!
I need to get her out of my head...so why am I pulling out my phone to text her?
Damn you, Vega. Damn you and your stupid big brown eyes that just...drive me wild.
Tori's POV
"Alright Tori...we are about finished up, here. I apologize for having you recall this experience again, but I assure you that you talking to us is very helpful in our investigation." Officer Robertson says to me. I've only met him a handful of times, but he's always been very stern and aggressive. It's almost uncomfortable for both of us to be in this position.
"Thank you, sir. And...has he...ya know...Ryder...has he said anything?" I shift awkwardly in my seat, looking down at my hands on my lap.
"Ryder has confessed to what he was doing, yes. His family has been contacted and we are working on the situation now that we have his confession. We will obviously keep you updated with-"
"I don't need updates regularly...I'd just like to know his sentencing when it occurs. I...I don't want to think about him all the time, sir."
"I understand, Tori. This is obviously not the end of it for you...we will need for you-"
"I know, sir. My father spoke with me about all of this. If you don't mind, can be done? I don't really feel comfortable talking about it anymore."
"Oh...um...yes. My apologies. Your sister is with your father in his office. Would you like me to escort you to them?"
"No, I'm okay. Thank you, though." I grab my purse and throw it over my shoulder as I stand up and exit Officer Roberston's office. I sigh heavily as I walk towards my dad's office, feeling nauseous and wanting to go home. I grab my phone out of my bag to check the time when I see a text message from Jade. It kind of surprises me, and I can't fight the small smile that forms on my lips.
Jade: Hey...how is everything?
Tori: It wasn't fun to talk about again...but he confessed. I guess that's good, right?
I get into my dad's office, to see Trina sprawled out across a couple of chairs, rambling on and on about how bored she is while my dad has his head in his hands, ready to rip Trina's head off. My dad looks up when he hears me enter; he quickly stands up and comes over to me.
"Hey baby...how did it go?" he asks softly. Trina looks over and stands up as well. I suddenly feel crowded, and back up a little, causing them to give me puzzled looks.
"It was fine...I just want to go home." My dad nods and motions for Trina to get moving. I turn and start walking away before anything further can be said or done. I feel my phone vibrate in my bag, and grab it quickly, feeling silly for hoping it was Jade, but relieved it was.
Jade: Yeah, that's good. You okay?
Tori: I'm just overwhelmed. Even by my family. I just want to stop talking about it and relax for a while. Finally going home.
Trina catches up to me and we silently get into her car. After a few moments of driving, I finally speak up.
"You were right. She texted me first."
Trina smiles and nods courtly, but otherwise, doesn't speak and keeps her eyes on the road, which is fine by me.
Jade's POV
"I mean, you would've failed that test anyway, Jade. It's a good thing you didn't go."
I stare at myself in my rear view mirror, my brow furring at my reflection. Here I am, skipping class in my car, debating with myself if I should go see Vega or not. Yes, I walked from school to my house, where I left my car last night because I was too damn high to drive. I just had to get away and gather my thoughts, maybe give myself a pep talk. I'm almost in hysterics, because God, do I sound crazy.
"Normal people talk out loud to themselves all the time. It's the sign of genius, actually."
Oh God, what the hell am I even doing now? I'm just wasting time being a complete idiot. How does she do this to me without even being around?
Well, it's pretty clear what I want to do, even if it's probably the worst thing to do, given my feelings and the situation. I groan, closing my eyes and resting my head back against the seat. I reach down and finally turn the keys that have been sitting in my ignition. The engine rumbles, sending a shock through my body. I open my eyes, looking behind me before backing out of my driveway and heading in a direction that has become very familiar to me.
Doubt invades my brain once again. What if she doesn't want me there? What if she wants to be alone? I mean, there is this huge possibility that I'm being entirely selfish and that Vega is already sick of seeing me, or being around me. After all, why would she want to keep spending time with someone who has brutally bullied her for the past couple of years?
A sharp, stabbing pain erupts in my chest; for the first time, I am feeling true guilt. No one deserves what I did to Vega, but fuck, can I be blamed? She drives me up a wall and back down again without even saying two words to me. And like hell if I'll sit back and watch her smile and twirl her hair for Beck when she should be twirling it for me.
I immediately break, a sudden realization washing over my face.
I wanted Tori this entire time, and I was jealous when I thought she wanted Beck.
A car horn beeps behind me, breaking my trance and signaling me to continue driving. I do so almost automatically, because my mind is currently elsewhere. How could this be? How could I have wanted this girl for so long and been so able to keep myself in such denial? She's Vega for Christ's sake; how did this even come to be? I mean, I was dating Beck! Did I really want Tori that entire time?
I pull up at her house, suddenly wishing I had never left school. Trina's car is already parked in the driveway, meaning Tori is home. How can I face her now? Sure, I'm an excellent actress, but fuck, this is taking quite the toll on me.
I decide it's best that I just leave and gather my thoughts. After all, the last thing she needs is the girl that ha tormented her day after day pining over her like some 13 year old prepubescent boy. Before I can leave, my phone goes off; a text message. I bite my lip, but decide to look.
And as always, she's right on time.
Tori: But maybe you could come over...?
God damn it, Vega. You're just so fucking perfect, aren't you? I turn the car off and run my fingers through my hair. I take a deep breath before finally responding.
Jade: Well maybe you should open your door.
