So hard to let go when I still hear the sound of your voice singing in my head,
I can't surrender cause the rope is slowly coming apart, but hanging by a thread...
This relationship had always been a roller coaster. One minute you both were on cloud nine. The next you were lower than the sunken Titanic at the bottom of the ocean. This was one of those bottom of the ocean nights.
A trusted friend had shown you a tabloid story about your boyfriend, EXO's Chen AKA Kim Jongdae, claiming he'd cheated on you. You laughed at the article, trusting your boyfriend. When he'd come home, you'd told him about the article with the sole purpose of assuring him you had faith in him and didn't believe a word that'd been written.
He however, decided to pick a fight.
"I don't need you defending me Y/N!" He'd growled, prying himself out of the hug you'd embraced him in.
It'd only escalated from there. Now you were both screaming, letting even the dead hear the argument.
As tears threatened to fall from your eyes, you objectively thought of the situation. It felt like your relationship was a fraying rope, only hanging on by strands.
"I should just leave." Your mind whispered.
The idea was tempting. You wouldn't have to put up with the roller coaster of emotions that this relationship brought on. You could have a chance to be with someone who could be around all the time...
But your heart had it's own opinion.
"I love him though. We've been through too much to just leave."
Looking at Jongdae, you agreed. He was still the loving boyfriend you'd gotten with.
It's gone on for too long,
And this is it...
"If you want me to leave so bad, just say so!" You yelled.
You were tired of walking on egg shells, only exchanging words of anger and hatred as a means of communication.
The fighting, the crying, the screaming, the harsh words...it'd all been going on for so long.
Did you even remember when your relationship was an actual relationship and not a warzone?
So take a look into my eyes one last time,
So we never forget the way we were before...
As you went to pack your things, Jongdae's warm hand pulled you to him. The other hand gently cupped your face, forcing you to look him in the eye.
His eyes lost their fire. They were calmer than the woods at midnight, with tears visable at the edges. This was the man you'd fallen in love with.
You remembered how you were before stress, and life in general came between you two.
This was the man who would have late night ice cream eating sessions with you while watching disney films.
This was the man who told you how cute you looked when you blushed, right after kissing you on your first date.
This was the man who had made sure your first time together was perfect, who used to take you out on the most amazing, sometimes unconventional, dates, and made sure the world knew you were his.
This was how it used to be...
When we came alive at the moment we met...
Meeting him had been fate, as if your gazes had held needle and thread, sewing your hearts together. It was like he had breathed life into your lungs for the very first time...and you hadn't even known his name.
He gathered the courage to approach you and told you his name.
You responded with yours and he asked if he could sit with you. You agreed and from there you'd chosen the front seat on the most terrifying, yet exhilarating ride in the whole amusement park known as life.
Did you regret it?
This is still worth fighting for, still worth fighting for...
Tears flooded your eyes and cascaded down your cheeks as you remembered everything. The memories only made your choice to leave that much harder.
"Can I really leave him?"
Seeing you cry, only made the tears he'd been trying to hide more visable. "Please don't go. I need you." He whispered, pulling you to him.
Too emotional to fight him, you cried in his embrace. You loved him. But sometimes loving someone meant leaving them.
"I have to leave him." Your mind half heartedly pleaded.
As if he heard your internal monologue, he pulled away enough to be face to face with you.
Holding your gaze, Jongdae leaned in and kissed you.
Another wave of sobs threatened to control your body as you felt yourself melt into the kiss. It was so much like the first kiss. It was sweet, loving, gentle, everything you remembered your boyfriend being.
Pulling away only to breathe, his warm fingers wiped away the tears on your cheeks.
"We can make this work. I love you and I believe this relationship is worth fighting for." He whispered.
All was quiet, as if Jesus himself had come back to calm the raging waters of your love life.
"I love you too." You whispered back. "Let's make this work."
"I can't leave him." Your mind and heart agreed as you hugged your boyfriend.
