A/N: Here's another spicy chapter for you guys. There's finally some lowkey intimate stuff, so there ya go. This could have turned out better imo but it'll do until I decide to go back and fix everything.

Envy was wandering around Central in a more regular form, only somewhat aimlessly. Pipsqueak's got to be around here somewhere. I need to actually not fuck up this time if I'm about to not get completely wrecked.

After a few hours of looking, he found the alchemist he wanted. Envy walked up to Ed and casually put his arm on the alchemist's head.

Ed glared darkly and said, "Envy, is that you?"

"Yes sirree, you are correct." The homunculus said sarcastically.

"Leave me alone. I'm not in the mood."

"Are you ever in the mood?"

"Just please fuck off."

"No can do."

"Can you at least give me my fucking watch back?"

"Mmm… I have an idea. Let's take this conversation to a more… private… place." Envy left no room for discussion, dragging Ed into a nearby, empty alleyway.

The sin casually rested against the wall, waiting for the alchemist to speak. It only took a few moments before

"What do you want with me?"

"You know that you're a precious sacrifice, right? That's what." Or that my body has a sudden urge to be near you…

Ed groaned in frustration. "How long are you going to keep following me around?"

"However long I need to."

There was a long time of silence, Ed too pissed to keep a conversation, and Envy uncertain of what to say next. Eventually, the sin thought something up.

"Is the military still forcing you to work for them? I'm assuming you had to tell them what happened,"

"No. The Colonel gave me a little bit of leave."

"Where are you going to be staying?"

"The dorms I guess. What's up with all these questions?"

"Hmm… I have an idea. You probably would prefer to be mostly alone, right?" After Envy received a hesitant nod, he continued. "Well, I know a really secluded place just outside of Central. There's an old house there that you could stay in." And there, we'll be completely alone…

Ed took a moment to think before sighing in resignation. "Fine… I'll go to your stupid hut place…"

Envy smirked before leading the way with a grumpy Ed following.


"And here… we are!" Envy said, a little bit too excitedly, as the duo make it past one last area of dense bushes.

"...Wow. I've gotta admit… this place isn't half bad."

'This place' was a clearing in the forest surrounding Central. Off to the side was a small, brown house, which wasn't exactly ramshackle, but hadn't been renovated in a while. There were little patches of flowers around the area. But, in the center of the clearing, was a beautiful and clear mini lake.

Envy smirked in satisfaction. "So, not all of my ideas are shit?"

"Fiiine… only this one was mediocre at best."

"Hey, better than nothing."

The two first walked towards the house, letting themselves in. "No one's lived here for a while, so don't worry about getting sued."

Ed didn't say anything, taking the time to look around the surprisingly spacious house.

"Well, you can do whatever for a while. But only for this while. I just want to get reacquainted with this place for a bit,"

Ed only nodded in response, and the two split up to explore the beautiful clearing.


After a few hours, as the sun was setting, Envy found Ed sitting by the small lake with his head on his knees.

This is my chance to get near him. Envy thought menacingly.

The sin walked as quietly as possible before he was right behind the alchemist. Then, he suddenly plopped down, and simultaneously dragged Ed into his lap.

"Wh-what the fuck are you doing?!" Ed yelled out in shock.

"Just enjoying the sights," said the sardonic Envy.

"Why the actual FUCK am I this close to you then?!"

Because, I don't know why, but I have a sudden urge to be as close to you as possible. "Because… I don't know. It's comfortable."

"Not for me it's not!"

"Shhh… just let it happen."

Ed growled in anger and tried to struggle out of Envy's grip, but to no avail. Eventually, he stopped trying and did just let it happen.

Envy rested his chin on top of Ed's head, watching the sunset.

"Are you trying to accentuate my shortness?" Ed said in irritation.

"Mayyybe… but this is also a nice position."

"Stop making me seem shoooort," Ed complained.

"But I wouldn't want to make you seem like you're something you're not."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"You're fucking tiny, Midget."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET SO SMALL HE NEVER GETS CALLED ON IN CLASS BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS BIGGER THAN HIM AND WHEN THEY RAISE THEIR HANDS NO ONE CAN SEE HIM BECAUSE HE'S TOO SMALL?!" Ed yelled out.

"Hmm? I didn't quite get that, sorry shrimp."

"ARE YOU CALLING ME A SHRIMP SO SMALL YOU COULDN'T HEAR ME BECAUSE I'M SO MICROSCOPIC AND MY VOCAL CORDS ARE EVEN SMALLER?!"

After this, Envy couldn't take it anymore, and broke out in laughter. Once he calmed down a bit, he said,

"How the hell do you even think of those?! Honestly, do you just go into improvisation mode every time someone calls you short?!"

"Sh-shut up! I just… say whatever I gotta! Yeah."

"You're adorable, Midget."

Envy was expecting another short rant, but then realized what he said. And realized that that's why he could feel Ed's face heat up.

Fuuuck… I said it outloud… again...

There was an insanely awkward silence as the two tried to focus their attentions on other things, and failed.

Envy knew that they weren't going to be able to change the topic easily. So, in an effort to make at least something happen, he let his body take over. Bad idea. Like it was last time.

The homunculus slowly turned the alchemist in his lap until the two were facing each other. Even in the diminishing light, Envy could tell that Ed was blushing. But he wasn't about to stop now, so the sin let his eyes close, and brought their lips together.

This time, there was little hesitation before Ed began to kiss back. The blond placed his hand on the back of the sin's head, pushing them closer. It wasn't long before Envy lightly bit down on Ed's bottom lip, requesting entry. And entry he was granted.

Envy quickly took the dominant role, not letting Ed do too much. The sin's tongue explored the alchemist's mouth heatedly, while the alchemist simply tried to keep up.

Soon enough, the two were taking turns bringing the other's tongue into their mouth on purpose, sucking on the other. This caused any sanity left in Envy to disappear, and he quickly began to crush Ed's mouth, wanting to get impossibly closer to the blond. In response, the alchemist moaned quietly, letting the sin ravage his mouth.

But then, Envy remembered breathing was a thing, so he reluctantly pulled away a bit. But not too far, so the two were breathing in each other's air roughly. Once they caught their breath, it was actually Ed who brought their lips together again.

Envy groaned in satisfaction and finally let Ed explore his wet cavern. He soon enough got impatient, however, and immediately began pushing Ed's tongue against his own, trying to get any contact that they could possibly get. The blond acquiesced, mostly letting the sin do whatever he wanted to his mouth.

Eventually, Envy pulled away with a small popping sound and rested his forehead against Ed's.

Breathlessly, the homunculus said, "Y'know… you're not too bad at this…" I wonder what else you're good at...

Ed responded with a quiet "...mmm…" and completely relaxed into Envy's arms. He readjusted his head to be in the crook of Envy's neck, sighing in satisfaction. The two stayed in this position for a while, simply enjoying the relaxed atmosphere.

But, Ed actually needed sleep, so Envy said, "Let's go into the house… it'll be better to rest in there instead."

"Okayyy…" Ed said reluctantly, getting off the sin's legs and walking slowly back to the house. Envy stood up as well before taking the lead.

Soon enough, Ed was bundled up in the bed with Envy beside him.

"I thought you homunculi couldn't sleep..?" The alchemist said tiredly, not quite wanting their contact to end.

"Well… we can, but don't really need to. Now shut up…"

Ed finally realized that he was too out of it to continue talking, and succumbed to sleep, Envy following after shortly.