Matthew could feel the slant on the deck getting steeper. He stepped back from the railing. At least the women are safe, he thought. Now I have to find a path to survival. "Any thoughts on our next steps, Mr. Branson? There still a few boats left that we could try for." Looking at the crowds swirling around the few boats, he didn't think it was much of a chance. He was still in evening dress and as a first class passenger, he had to let any woman and child go ahead of him. It was unlikely that the opportunity that saved Lord Grantham's life would occur again. It was ironic, he thought with some amusement, that Tom in his shabby suit was more likely to be assumed strong enough to work the oars.
Tom looked at the crowds and shook his head. "We'll never get on one." He pointed to the boats that were already in the water. "I think the better plan is to try to swim for the boats after the ship sinks. Or maybe find something to float on…" Tom smiled ruefully. "I don't know why I'm saying anything at all. I don't know how to swim. I just told Lady Sybil that so she would get in the boat."
Matthew laughed. It was gallows humor, and more the pity that Lady Sybil was never likely to know what a nice chap Branson was. "It's more important to float. Let's at least find some of these lifejackets."
He was frankly surprised by the number of people who had abandoned the lifejackets but decided it wasn't the right time or place to start lecturing people. "Come on," he said as he pulled Tom through the teeming throng of panicking people. "I have an idea."
The sudden hope on Tom's face saddened him, since it wasn't a great idea but it was better than nothing. Worse, he had the sense that it was beginning to dawn on the crowd as a whole that they weren't going to get on the few remaining boats. With the deck becoming increasingly steep, they only had a few minutes to get where he wanted to be. Tom didn't argue, and in minutes they were up against the railing on the stern of the ship.
"What are we doing?" Tom asked.
"Feel the slant." Matthew pointed to the deck and to how the bow was beginning to dip under the water. "The water is dragging the bow down, this will be the last part of the ship to go under." He gave Tom an intent look. "The water will be freezing so its best if we stay on the boat as long as we can. Get on the other side of the railing." He took his own advice and Tom followed. They weren't the only ones. There was one of the ship's bakers doing the same thing.
"Now what?" Tom gulped nervously. "This only keeps us dry for so long."
Matthew took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The ship's stern was rising, there was no denying it. He could see people running and panicking. "We got here just in time," he said to Tom. "Another few minutes and we'd be in the fight." Not everyone was fighting, the band was still playing, giving the evening an oddly discordant feel that Matthew doubted he would ever forget. "Tom, we might get separated. The life jacket will help you float but the water is too cold to stay in for very long. Those men we saw trying to free those two remaining boats… if we're lucky the boats will float off when the ship goes down and we can try for them. Or there will be some debris, that we can float on. We have to get out of the water. Do you understand?"
"Yes…" Tom shifted his grip on the railing as the deck shook. "But you can swim. You could try for the other boats. You barely know me, don't give up your chance for me."
"I'm not that good of a swimmer," Matthew admitted. "It's too far, and the water is too cold. So, lets stick together."
"I've got no better plans at the moment." Tom smiled but then the ship deck slanted even more. "Perhaps we should pray." Matthew saw the younger man wince out of the corner of his eye. He carefully reached over and put his hand on Tom's and gripped it.
"It won't hurt," he said, speaking above the rising panicked shouts and screams. He winced as well as people began shoving and fighting their way up the increasingly steep decking. A young man was dragging a girl up, no doubt to gain the dubious safety he and Tom, and the ship's baker already enjoyed. If the situation wasn't so grim, the pair would have made him laugh as he suspected he was looking at the infamous couple that had the whole ship talking, the first class girl and the third class boy. That little bit of amusement left him as the ship rocked and tilted under his feet. The young couple were the last ones to get over the railing, before the deck's tilt made it impossible to reach.
"You were smart," Tom muttered. He gave Matthew an appreciative look. "I didn't understand why you wanted to be on the outside of the railing." As he spoke, one of the people who hadn't made that choice lost their grip and fell, sliding down the deck and hitting numerous others. "Bloody hell…"
The ship rocked, and Matthew saw one of the giant funnel crack and fall, and then saw the deck near it breaking in half. "Hold on!" he shouted at Tom. "The ship is breaking up!" The stern of the ship suddenly dropped and he felt almost weightless until it smacked into the water below. The jarring almost made him lose his grip, but Tom grabbed him before he slipped. "Thanks…"
"We said we'd stick together," Tom noted, a trace of humor crossing his voice. "Remember, you have to show me how to swim, I can't let you go into the water without me." The deck began to tilt again. "Do you suppose it will float?"
"No," Matthew said. He scanned the scene, trying to avoid the eyes of the desperate people below. It was a nightmare scene, one that he doubted would ever leave him but he tried to shake off the horror as the stern kept rising. If you want to have nightmares about this later, he told himself, you have to stay calm now. "Tom, we're going into the water, there's no way to avoid it but look, the two boats that didn't launch… they're in the water now, we'll try for those. Agreed?"
"Agreed." Tom kept his hand on Matthew's arm as the stern bobbed and began to plunge downward. The shock of the cold water was like being stabbed with thousands of knives but he kicked up, reflexively pulling Tom with him. Even the air, upon surfacing, was cold. Out of the water, he told himself as he shook Tom back to awareness, we have to get out of the water. He saw one of the boats and remembered the plan. Even though it was overturned, getting on top of it would be out of the hellish water. "Come on!" he shrieked at Tom. "That boat! We'll get on it! I'll pull you, but you have to kick your legs!"
"Yes, yes," Tom squawked back, spitting out water. Matthew kicked his legs as well and paddled with one hand. People were getting on the boat, there would be a point where the survivors wouldn't let anyone else board. After what seemed like hours they were next to the boat. He shoved Tom up onto the overturned hull and started to pull himself up but all the men on the boat roared in protest.
"No more! You'll sink us!" shouted the closest. The burly fellow pointed at Tom. "He's too many! Find something else!"
"But there's nothing!" Tom shouted. The burly fellow looked like he was ready to pitch Tom off, which decided it for Matthew.
"Tom, no! Don't be stupid! I can swim! There's doors and crates! I'll get on one! Don't give up your place because of me!" He pushed away from the boat before Tom could protest, and the burly fellow gripped him in such a way that Matthew knew the man wouldn't easily let Tom throw his chance away.
Find something, he thought as his teeth began to chatter. The deck chairs were too flimsy, and too many people trying for the other canvas lifeboat that looked half sunk in the water already. Find something, he told himself, you don't have long. Finally, he chanced on a door, one of the doors from the smoking parlor. He hauled himself up on it, realizing as it almost flipped him back into the water that he would have to keep very still to stay on top of it. Not as good as a boat, no where near a truly safe place, but he was mostly out of the water. There are ships coming, he told himself as he shivered violently, the officer said so. And the other boats will come back when there's not so many people thrashing about. The screaming had already died off, there were shouts and pleas but it grew quieter as he rocked on the door he was lying on.
Later, he didn't know how much later, he began to accept that the cold was deeply nestled inside him. A pleasant sort of numbness encompassed him, made more pleasant by how the quiet had settled over the icy ocean water. This isn't bad, he thought tiredly, if this is how I die, it's not awful. He was pondering that though when a shrill whistle broke through the haze of his thoughts. A light flittered across his face. He raised up his head in time to see a boat, a lifeboat, not more than twenty yards away. The whistling was coming from a girl, a girl that the men in the boat were pulling out of the water. I want to be out of the water, he thought suddenly, I want to be in the boat. "Me too!" he called, his voice gravely from the cold. He waved as the men shined their torch at him. "Me too! I want to be in the boat…" In seconds the boat was next to him and strong men with warm hands were setting him on the bottom of the little boat.
"Bloody hell, I thought he was dead when we shined the light on him."
"Enough of them are." Hands shook him and he blinked his eyes but it suddenly seemed next to impossible to really stay awake.
"He's worse than the girl… Almost frozen."
Better frozen in the boat, he thought dimly, then frozen in the water. Then Matthew slumped to the bottom of the boat and let the relief envelope him.
