A/N: Takes place during 'The Return: Pt. 1'.


THE LAST OF THE POPCORN:

A Better Goodbye (Part 1/2)

He was biding his time.

That's what he always told himself. It's what he said to make himself feel better every time he didn't say or do the things he meant to.

Now, haphazardly dropping the last of his personal belongings into boxes, he realized how stupid that was. How stupid he was; who bides their time? Like it's something they could control. People don't get to pick and choose their moments, they're just there and you either act, or you're like John Sheppard: stupid.

Silence was a bitch, and his continued silence all these years only made the situation worse. He should have said something, done something, he'd had ample opportunity.

The expedition was being forced out of the city, by Ancients, no less (man, was he really beginning to dislike those guys). He'd told them they could come back with him, but Teyla and Ronon both had reason to stay where they were.

Her people. His fight.

So, John Sheppard was going home alone; or at least without the one person that he really…well, loved.

---- NOT LONG ENOUGH LATER ----

In the gate room they stood four to two. Teyla and Ronon against the backdrop of Atlantis; Sheppard, Elizabeth, Rodney and Carson against a one way ticket back to Earth.

He didn't even call it home anymore. It couldn't begin to measure up to Atlantis and the people he'd be leaving behind.

There was a heavy silence between the group, and John took a step toward Teyla. He was terrible at goodbyes - he'd said as much earlier. It all seemed so unreal. There was still time for things to change, some last second catastrophe just waiting to boil over, and the Ancients would have to ask for their help.

…beat…

Any second now.

…beat…

Damn.

Only one thing to do then.

He motioned to his two alien friends to come forward. "Could I just, you know…" he nodded his head back, "Get a moment."

They followed him as he stepped back, closer to the wormhole, three other sets of eyes watching, but trying to look like they weren't.

John stood, his back to the Gate, and placed a hand on each Teyla and Ronon's shoulders. "I just wanted to say, I'm taking you with me."

"Sheppard-" "John-" they both started, but before they had time, he's wrapped his fists into their clothing and tumbled backwards into the event horizon. Carson, McKay and Elizabeth took a few surprised steps forward.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" McKay shouted.

Sheppard laughed to himself, snapping back to reality. Yeah, that's what he'd do. He'd drag Teyla and Ronon back with him. He'd never be able to catch them both off guard enough to do it. And he doubted even his fantasy's "Can I get a moment" would be sufficient.

And he had to face it, he could never do that to them. He'd be effectively kidnapping. He cast his giant friend a glance; there wasn't a chance he'd make it through with Ronon.

He took a step towards Teyla. Not even a foot of space between them and it already felt much too far away. He looked out the corner of his eye to see who was really watching, before he laid his head against Teyla's.

Her hands came to rest on his shoulders and he had to swallow a breath. This was the last time he'd ever do this. The last time he'd ever feel her skin on his, her hands on him. It was the last time he'd ever get to touch her.

That was all he could think as he brought his own hands to her shoulders. He closed his eyes and let his hands drift down, just slightly and gave her arms three quick squeezes. Each squeeze punctuated with a single word in his mind:

I. Love. You.

He didn't want to let go. He was almost relieved to feel her return his gesture; almost, because she didn't know what those squeezes meant.

The ticking of his watch betrayed him; time was slipping.

"Teyla," He whispered, "I'm sorry." he opened his eyes, and looked into hers. With their foreheads still together it was impossible to break eye contact. He hoped it showed, that she could see it, hear it in his words. "I should have said something sooner."

A sad smile played at her lips, "You are not the only one who did not speak."

And that was all he needed to hear.

His hands left her shoulders like bullets. They tangled in her hair as he pulled her head forward, lifting her chin so his lips could finally touch hers. They were everything he'd expected and more.

Warm and soft, but just defiant enough to let him know he'd have to work for it. They felt welcoming and full of passion. She was kissing back just as hard, just as desperately. He felt her arms coil around him, and he could feel something welling up inside his chest. It felt like ecstasy. It was spreading out, making his fingers tingle and his stomach flutter (and John Sheppard's stomach didn't flutter). He felt light and dizzy and his lips were starting to tingle.

And if ever he was going to give in to the heat of the moment, it would be now. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and carry her away to anywhere - and beg the Ancients, just one more day. Just one.

One day to explore the undeniable beauty that is Teyla Emmagan.

It would never be enough.

He wanted the kiss to go on forever, but when they pulled apart, both of them slightly panting; he heard a hitch in her breath.

That was so unfair of him. To just lie that on her, only to have to turn around and walk away for…forever.

She pulled herself together enough to look at him and say, "I am sure that we will meet again." He could see the water gathering in her eyes, he didn't think she believed it.

He couldn't say anything, he was afraid too. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth he wouldn't be able to stop talking. So he just nodded, sure that if he looked at her to much longer his own eyes would start to water.

So he turned to Ronon, and offered the man a hand.

"You're not gonna kiss me too, are you?"

He had to laugh, just a short, sad little laugh, "Not really my type. Sorry." but he did give him a hug.

Carson, Rodney and Elizabeth made their own farewells in short order. Each a little shocked to receive an official Ronon hug (which was something like being put in a vice grip), but they smiled all the same.

With one look back as they walked to the Gate, John made a silent promise to himself.

He'd be back. Someday, somehow he'd be back.

--------


So, I know there was more speaking at the end of Return Part 1, but alas, I did not re-watch it before I finished writing this. So I don't know what that dialog is. (I do LOVE that episode though, I'd re-watch it just to hear Carson's "My turtles!" - so cute).

Anyway: REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! Maybe I'll get inspired enough to finish the other half started bits I have for this. Bleh laziness.