A/N: Special double update today! Thanks to all my readers and reviewers. I'm feeling the whimsy with this one, so be prepared.
I'm not feeling all that happy with this one, it was a little rushed and I think awkward as well. Let me know if you feel the same way okay?
Killer Queen is a song from the album Sheer Heart Attack, released in 1974.
Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagura
Genre: Romance/Humour
Universe: AU
Warnings: Little bit o swearing
Word count: 1 793
Killer Queen
She keeps Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
"Let them eat cake" she says
Just like Marie Antoinette
A built-in remedy
For Kruschev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation
You can't decline
She came very well recommended: Kagura of the Wind. She was talked of wherever men met for drinks, women or politics. She was talked of wherever women met for drinks, men or gossip.
Why?
She was a natural. Rumour had it that one of her ancestors was an elegant deadly wind youkai; and if that was true she had certainly inherited her ancestor's talents for killing and for seduction. She was an assassin and a whore. The most expensive. The best. So exclusive was she that it was Kagura who decided who to accept as client.
The invitation was never refused. She always used a different name, a new approach, oftentimes; they didn't even know they were to meet their end until she told them. Truthfully, noone even knew what she looked like exactly because the only people who knew her often died soon after.
Oddly, many of those of joked that her previous clients were shagged to death often mysteriously disappeared a little while later.
Only one man ever escaped the wind's swift execution. He was the Ice Prince. He was as beautiful and deadly as a blizzard in the sky scratching mountains of the north – west. When Kagura received the petition, she knew she just had to accept. Sesshoumaru was just too beautiful a man to pass up the one – in – a – million chance of getting close to him.
Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice
Sesshoumaru was a tricky target though; he did not use prostitutes of any kind. He wasn't married, but he had an adopted daughter and didn't want her to think poorly of him. The more Kagura found out about him, the more excited she became. He wasn't very rich, nor all that well – known. Aside from his cold beauty and his even colder reputation (except where Rin was concerned) he was fairly normal. Reputedly descended from an ancient feudal aristocratic family, he still retained enough arrogance to make it hard to approach him.
In the end she went with an unusual method, it was not one that had been used by a whore before. She became a teacher, a teacher in the arts of High Society, and she was hired by the school that Rin attended. Kagura knew it was mean going through child; but she hadn't failed a contract yet, and one unapproachable man wouldn't change that.
It took almost a full school year before she had the chance to talk to Sesshoumaru personally. "I asked you to come in today Mr. Taishou to discuss Rin's achievements in her classes; she has done very well in all her classes, especially in languages and the humanities and I'd like to suggest that instead of Rin proceeding to Year Two with the rest of her classmates next year she go to Year Three instead."
"Hmmmm, you believe she would interact better with older students."
"Yes, I believe she would. While she does have many friends her own age, she is rather mature for someone of only seven years old – perhaps because of her past? – and she would mature emotionally and academically if she were with the older children. And she has told me several times that her work sometimes bores her because it's too easy." She broke off suddenly, reaching into a desk drawer and taking out a packet of cigarettes. "You don't mind if I smoke do you?" Sesshoumaru shook his head and she lit up.
"As I was saying, Rin would be better off in the Third Year as it would push her and she is such a smart girl, I wouldn't want her getting complacent now. Would you?"
"Rin is very perceptive for her age. If she were not to like it in the Third Year could she be moved back down? You've spoken to Rin about the possibility of her skipping a grade?"
"I have, and she's excited about the opportunity."
"Then this Sesshoumaru sees no need to object to your request."
"Okay, here's my card if you have any further concerns or questions." By all the gods! It hurt to be so nice to all those bratty children and that laconic man. Would it hurt him to speak more than absolutely necessary? He seemed to deliberately plan each sentence to use the minimum amount of words. At least Rin was bearable. And nothing like her father, she could talk about anything for any length of time. That was one of the reasons Kagura was able to get so close to Rin, Kagura, besides being the Deputy Head also took the children for public speaking and French.
Heh. But at least the plan worked.
Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?
Sort of. Another two months and they had been on their first date. Now it was their six month anniversary. Her treat. It was the first time she'd ever had to pay for anything, and Sesshoumaru knew it! Oh. He knew it. She could read it in the smirk that just barely quirked at his lips and the laughing glint in his hazel – gold eyes. Though in the light of the extremely expensive restaurant they shone like old gold, rich and full of memories. "You want some Kagura?" Her delicately expressive eyebrows shot up into her fringe. What?!
Smirking openly at her expression he said, "You want to try the dessert Kagura?"
"You know I do!" It was a thick slice of chocolate cake, fairly oozing the deliciously addicting substance. Taking up her dessert fork she ate daintily, yet hastily through her treat smiling happily. Sesshoumaru just watched her as a tiny, genuine smile played unnoticed on his face. Until Kagura looked up that is. It amazed her to see how warm he was when smiled. "You know Sessh, if it takes me eating chocolate cake to make you smile I'll gladly eat it every. Single. Day."
When he laughed she laughed with him too and felt a rush of happiness. Wait. He was a contract; all she had to do was get close to him, maybe sleep with him and then kill him. Job done. No more. Inwardly she groaned, she'd fallen for him. She, Kagura of the Wind, the greatest assassin lover ever known had fallen for a father! Okay, a very sexy father. And she'd yet to sleep with him. Or anyone else since she'd given him her number. A new personal record.
Damn, she was in love.
To avoid complications
She never kept the same address
In conversation
She spoke just like a Baroness
Met a man from China
Went down to Geisha Minah
Then again incidentally
If you're that way inclined
Perfume came naturally from Paris
For cars she couldn't care less
Fastidious and precise
Ah fuck. She had to tell him. It had been just over a year and he spent so much money on that exclusive French perfume. How did he even know that she adored that brand more than any other? She'd never brought it up, that was for certain. He knew her so well! And she loved him for it!
She didn't want to be Kagura of the Wind any more. She just wanted to be Kagura Tsukimari; teacher and girlfriend. She didn't want to have to trek over the world having sex or killing men and women. She didn't want to have to constantly switch characters and homes, always on the lookout for people who wanted to harm her. Kagura Tsukimari wanted a permanent home and loved her job. She was tired. "Gods, why'd I have to take the contract?"
She paced round and round her living room, planning out ways to tell him. It took days, but eventually, when she had it plan it was simple. Just tell him.
So at dinner the next night she said, "Sessh, at the beginning this was all just a job. I was employed to seduce you and kill you."
"I know. Kagura of the Wind. The contract was issued just under twenty six months ago."
"Then why did you – " She didn't know what she wanted to ask. There were so many things.
"Not have you killed? Rin loves her Miss Tsukimari as a teacher and as a mother figure. Why did I agree to date you? You interested me. You were witty, intelligent and weren't infatuated with me. Why did I let you stay? I grew to love you.
"Now, let me ask you this: Why didn't you complete the contract?"
"At first it really was just business. But you were so hard to get through to, we've only been sleeping together for the past two months, but more than that; because I had to work to know you I – I grew to care for you, and love you too.
"I don't want to fulfil my contract. I don't want to be Kagura of the Wind. I want to stay here."
Drop of a hat she's as willing as
Playful as a pussy cat
Then momentarily out of action
Temporarily out of gas
To absolutely drive you wild, wild..
She's all out to get you
It was done. She had one last job to do before she – before the assassin whore Kagura of the Wind left. She took a short holiday, two weeks in total, from teaching and went to complete her last contract. And this time she was her own employer. She was going to kill Onigumo, the man who had hired her to murder Sesshoumaru.
It was pitifully easy to kill him, no challenge whatsoever. Two days after her first liaison with Onigumo he was dead. Fell from his balcony while drunk. At least, that was the official report.
Sesshoumaru was happy when she returned, "I thought you'd changed your mind and just left us."
"Why would I do that Sessh? You and Rin are too cute to leave." His look of outrage at being called cute sent her into peals of laughter. It was so good to be home.
Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?
You wanna try...
"Kagura, will you give up your old life and your new life and move in with me and Rin?"
"What's the price?"
"Kagura, will you marry me?"
"Absolutely yes!" Two damn years from that first parent – teacher meeting. Two damn years.
And the country had a new, juicy piece of gossip to tide them over for the rest of the year. For Kagura of the Wind had failed a contract, retired and disappeared from the shadows, and Sesshoumaru had married a school teacher.
