As Ducky came out of the prison visiting room and returned to the lobby of the detention center; Abby descended on him with the questions that she needed answers too burning brightly in her eyes. It was that lost, questioning look that finally undid Ducky and all he could do was sadly shake his head as at her as he ushered her out of the building. Once in the car; he pulled out his cell phone and called Jethro with a heavy heart. His voice was leaden with sadness as he relayed the information that had broken his already bruised heart.
"Hey Duck. You manage to see him?" Gibbs got straight to the point. He wasn't one to beat around the bush at the best of times, but when one of his own were in trouble, his was focused soley on what had been bothering him.
"Jethro, I did manage to see Timothy and actually got him to speak with me.
"How'd he look up close, Duck? Is he okay?" Gibbs asked with deep concern.
"He has not been eating or sleeping at all and I expected that; but seeing him like that Jethro….." Ducky took a moment to gather his thoughts "We all know how badly he took things the last time he accidentally took a life. This time is bound to be much, much worse for him."
"Did you get him to tell you why he pled guilty? Why he told his mother not to call us?" There were questions that needed to be answered and it was Gibbs' duty to ask them; the only problem was that, despite the desperate need to know, he wasn't sure if he would like the answer.
"He says it's the truth and nothing can change the truth or the fact that he cannot bring his father back. He said…" Ducky's voice broke.
"Duck? What'd he say?" Gibbs pushed gently knowing the visit had upset his friend. It tore at him to hear the usually vibrant, jovial M.E. bowing down to the onslaught of emotions that rushed over him but he needed to hear what had taken place between Ducky and Tim; he could offer comfort later.
"He said Justice must prevail."
"Damn it." Gibbs softly muttered. "Okay. Is he willing to at least see us and talk to us now that he knows we're here for him?" Gibbs pushed the questions forward as much for the answers as to give Ducky something else to focus on.
"He will talk with me as his acting physician but he does not want anyone else to see him here, Jethro. As it is he's unsure of why I'm willing to speak with him. " Ducky sighed heavily glanced over at Abby. She was currently staring out of the window and Ducky could see the small shakes as silent tears flowed steadily down her face.
"What aren't you telling me, Duck?" Gibbs kept pushing forward with a gentle tone; he needed this information and knew that there was no way Ducky would offer it without a gentle shove in the right direction..
"Nothing that will help any of us get through to him, Jethro."
"Ducky, just tell me." Gibbs encouraged. "What else did he say?"
"I asked him what his wishes were regarding letting his teammates see that he is okay for themselves."
"I'm guessing his response wasn't very encouraging."
"No, Jethro, it wasn't. He specifically asked that I not let Abby be there. Timothy says she doesn't belong there." Ducky sent an apologetic look sideways at Abby and slipped his hand into her open palm. He gave it a quick squeeze as the Lab Rat's breath caught in her throat at what she was hearing. The silent tears soon gave way to a full torrent of sobs which were loud enough to pull at Ducky's emotions even more.
"Okay. He's still looking out for her. That's a good sign and means we haven't completely lost him yet. What about seeing the rest of us, Ziva? Tony? Me?"
"Jethro, I told him I'd return to talk with him again later this afternoon. I need to drive Abby back to meet up with you so that I can go and talk to the coroner as we discussed." Ducky swiftly changed the subject and desperately tried to divert the conversation away from an answer that Gibbs wouldn't like.
"Ducky! What did he say about Tony, Ziva or I seeing him and talking to him?" Gibbs demanded. His softly, softly approach was now getting him nowhere and he felt irritation surge through is veins at all this beating around the bush.
"Jethro., I don't believe…" Ducky hedged nervously. He didn't want to have this conversation over the phone; much preferring to speak to his friend face to face, at least that way he could provide a modicum of comfort if needed.
"Ducky, just tell me. I need to hear it. You know that." Gibbs said much more calmly but with enough authority to hopefully push Ducky past his concern for Gibbs' feelings. Whatever Tim had said was too important to hear to let feelings get in the way.
"He said the strangest thing, Jethro and I still don't understand where on earth it came from." Ducky paused momentarily " He said 'They've always been a team without me. Tony has Gibbs. Gibbs has Tony. They don't need me. They never did. I've always been the team screw-up. And now, they really don't need me'. Jethro, what does he mean by it?"
A deep sigh was heard on the other end. "I don't know Duck. He say anything else we need to worry about?"
"Jethro, when I informed him that his lawyer would be there in the morning to talk with him; he became extremely upset. I do not understand why"
"I do. Thanks, Duck. I'll talk to you when you get here." Ducky frowned at Gibbs' quiet reply and was about to reply when phone call was disconnected. He pulled the phone down from his ear and quietly closed it.
"Oh, Ducky!" Abby cried as the M.E. put his phone in the holder on the dashboard. He took a quiet minute to gather his thoughts before pulling Abby towards him with the hand that he was still holding.
Abby's breath hitched at the sudden movement, but she was soon enveloped in Ducky's small, but strong arms and took comfort in the fact that he was offering her his love and support. The tears that had dried up temporarily soon returned and before she knew it, she was crying into the hug. She felt Ducky rub at her back and silently thanked him for the fact that he knew that this was one thing she had to do; she had to release her grief at not being able to see Tim.
After a few minutes, he pulled back and handed her a tissue with a gentle pat to her shoulder; he didn't waste any time and pointedly pulled the seatbelt over his body before starting the car. The drive back to the McGee's was silent and filled with a heavy, oppressive air of sadness and despair. When they arrived at the house, Abby got out and quietly retreated to the guest room she'd been given to share with Ziva. She made her way to the bed and curled up under a blanket in complete, abstract misery. She felt her eyes prickle with fresh tears and sobbed harshly into the empty room.
Gibbs had been blown away by Ducky's report of Tim's responses. What the hell was going on with this kid? He knew the best chance of finding out was through Ducky and he sent up a silent prayer of thanks that Tim had at least gave himself a small window of freedom from his guilt and grief and had provided himself with that much of an outlet. It was obvious the kid was determined to accept the full brunt of the law for whatever had happened. But, it was just as obvious that something had happened here, something extreme and beyond his agent's control. It was the unknown situation that had set the wheels of his agent's demise in motion and whatever it was, had gone spiraling out of control; with the end result being the death of Tim's father; and Tim taking the fall.
When Ducky reported that Tim reacted badly to the news of the lawyer; Gibbs immediately realized what had to have been going through his agent's mind. Relying on years of experience of talking to victims of crime; most especially crimes of the domestic nature; it was easy to see that it was the one thing that Tim had to be scared of was that he didn't want to drag his family's business through public attention and scandal, by testifying. All of a sudden he was hit by the revelation that, knowing Tim, it was more than likely that the kid was reluctant to bring this kind of negative attention down on the agency, as well.
Gibbs wished there was some way they could keep this from being another burden on the young man's mind. Maybe Ducky could find a way to ease that concern from Tim's mind when he went back to talk to him later today. There had to be a way to take some of the pressure off this kid. Hopefully, the lawyer they send to defend him will be as helpful as Tim needed
Anxious for Mrs. McGee and Sarah to get back from making the funeral arrangements for Tim's dad; Gibbs couldn't do anything but pace the plush, carpeted floor in his guest room. His thoughts were racing and he hoped that Tony and Ziva would find some answers hidden in the police report and that Ducky would at least be able to find some golden nugget of information at the coroner's. There were too many unanswered questions and the timing of their arrival had obliterated any chance of talking to Mrs. McGee and Sarah until they returned from their appointment with the funeral director.
He was torn out of his thoughts by the sound of footsteps walking on the wooden flooring downstairs; he walked to the doorway of his room and gazed out; just to see Abby move silently to her guest room. It was all quiet for a moment until Abby's sobs echoed through the quiet house and tore at every fibre of his being.
Gibbs steeled himself against the onslaught of emotions that rolled out of his scientists guest room and set out to find Ducky. His search didn't take long and he soon found his friend still sitting forlornly in the car; having not moved from the driver's seat yet. Getting in the passenger side, Gibbs shut the door and looked over at his friend.
"Duck? You alright?"
"No, Jethro and I fear that it will be quite some time before I feel alright again. That young man is so devastated that he's completely beside himself. You know what? I literally had to yell at him to rouse him from the fog he had allowed himself to retreat behind."
"Yeah, I figured, Duck. McGee's too gentle a soul not to be torn up by this; whatever 'this' is. Talk to me; what's upset you the most?"
"The shock." Gibbs frowned at Ducky with confusion "Jethro, he was genuinely shocked that we've come to help him!"
"That was kinda expected. He told his mother not to call us. Anything else?" Gibbs kept his voice as calm as he could for Ducky's sake.
"He looked so lost and broken, I felt led to embrace him so he would know we genuinely care and that he's not as alone as he obviously feels."
"How'd that go?"
"Jethro, he refused to allow himself to be comforted. He's afraid to feel that warmth because he is preparing himself for the times when that comfort and friendship will longer be available for him to get. He's resigned himself to this fate he's been cast into."
"Not for long, Ducky. We'll figure this out."
Ducky remained silent, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"Duck, what is it? What happened that's got you this upset?"
"I urged him to not give up on us by giving up on himself. I told him to trust us to help him." Ducky's quiet admission was accented by a lone tear rolling down his cheek.
"What did he say?"
"He said he couldn't. Jethro, he so desperately wants our help; but he's afraid to reach out for it. It took every ounce of his inner strength not to break down in front of me"
"Did he tell you why he's afraid to trust us, Duck?" The fact that Tim had all but admitted to the distrust, hit Gibbs like a punch to the gut. It was the one thing he had prided himself on …..his team's trust.
"His answer came as a question. He asked "what if it's not enough."
"Oh, God." Gibbs said quietly as he tried to digest the emotions that must be raging through his grieving and obviously shattered agent. "Ducky, are you okay to talk to him again? I don't want you to do this if it's too much." Gibbs tried to let his friend off the hook.
"How I feel does not matter here, Jethro. We both know it is vital that I talk with him again. Timothy needs someone he will talk to and right now, I am that person. Until we can determine what it is that frightens him when it comes to talking to a lawyer; I'm afraid we may even lose his cooperation on that."
"He doesn't want to have to go to trial, Ducky. Lawyers mean trials. "
"There are other ways, Jethro. He's so genuinely frightened of the notion; he actually allowed himself to break down for a moment when I brought it up." Ducky was trying his best to alleviate his young friend's agony and wanted to lay all the cards on the table.
"NO. There will be no deals. We are not letting McGee take a deal. A deal means admitting guilt and it'll ruin his life. The only acceptable alternative to a trial is finding the evidence and clearing his name before it gets that far."
"You're right, Jethro. I need to go talk to the coroner's office before I head back. I'll keep you informed of what I find." Ducky said as a means to end the conversation.
"You all right?" Gibbs asked one last time.
"Yes, Jethro, I'm fine. The sooner we can get to the bottom of this, the sooner we can get Timothy cleared and back home with us where he belongs."
"I hear ya there, Duck. Call me." Gibbs glanced back over at Ducky in time to see the short nod and got out of the car to head back into the house to talk to Abby.
Knocking softly on the door to her room, he opened it and let it open completely as he took himself to the bed and sat down at her waist.
"Abby?" he whispered her name softly and reached out to rub small, soothing circles on her back.
"He won't talk to me." Abby cried without sitting up. "He won't even let me see him."
"Abbs, he's grieving; he's scared; he's hurting' do I need to say more?" Gibbs found it hard to be the voice of reason when he was feeling every bit as torn about this as she was. It was his duty and his automatic role to comfort her when she was upset, so he pushed down his own emotions but held firmly to his compassion for all of his surrogate kids and what this must be doing to them.
"No. Guess it wasn't such a good idea for me to come." Abby said regretfully.
"Maybe, he'll change his mind when he's has time to talk things out with Ducky." Gibbs offered soothingly.
"Why would he say that about you and Tony?" she asked as she finally sat up; swiping away her tears with her hand.
"I dunno, Abbs but I'm sure Ducky'll get him to open up to him and let him in to what he's thinking."
"What do we do now?" she asked miserably.
"You could come have something to eat while Sarah and I explain what happened." Mrs. McGee's quiet and calming voice came from from the doorway.
